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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA
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! I4 U1 M9 R4 ?) M3 v1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math. & Z% T: U2 y5 ]: w9 W9 j
2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown. 6 t" b/ q4 b+ X( A, z, h
3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations.
# _ v1 |4 l+ a/ T9 E* P- m% g4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on. + n, R: O3 P' O
5. Weed 4 S: { B- I+ }' h) z4 A
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA " v C: G* N0 ~' v, L' c* E
4 g% z& j% h* V1. Big rock between you and B.C. 5 ^! ]3 U* v4 E$ ]9 D- S) Y& @
2. Ottawa who?, q. T4 @# i4 a: {7 u+ S! Y
3. Tax is 6% instead of approximately 20% as it is for the rest of the country.
5 C1 S: q5 S- I+ d( O$ O& R4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of.
6 m) {7 L* ?- s! y, r5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country. / c5 Z, f$ E) v2 P) ]- K
6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups. , i' j. c+ N$ d# e
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN % d& I5 E! }1 \: s
% Y) ?% X: ?9 F( k) g1. You never run out of wheat. - o$ C1 y) l2 ^; u4 L
2. Your province is really easy to draw.
* f) x; M# S+ A7 L- n! Y0 I! H3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours.
$ n! R3 d" e$ `. U4. People will assume you live on a farm.
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R! x6 H$ {; N5 Y9 nTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA
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1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property. I# ~! E8 e& l M4 \
2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes.
7 n4 F: ]3 U: Y3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter.
8 i/ s2 ^9 Q6 ~1 Z' t0 k4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood.
9 H! |* C- w& `8 b; ]# S5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by.
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& P( X' U( F6 FTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO
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1. You live in the centre of the universe.
& y6 W P' s" B) k: X* ~% o T8 {& e2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump.
+ _2 ]) p6 s( _2 ?2 `3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election. ! S/ k- C3 L, A; L4 W% B1 ^- A
4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime. 1 f1 J( X6 N7 x/ L
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$ ~- u$ M& F' }7 ETOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC
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1. Racism is socially acceptable ' i5 `0 q" l& Q* m
2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next.
7 ~# @# \) E0 L3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada.
$ k- e" t6 x- [% T4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo *
2 Q3 Y$ P1 ]( b( pTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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1 \9 x7 O/ l6 y- u1 `* e+ z& |TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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( c% }: ?! f S& P1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income. m; i/ x+ `' D8 p x" C! y
2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies. ; }0 j" P6 c# {, ^) a
3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick
/ E* V$ t* V9 w/ k" |0 @4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse. ( J7 w2 z8 u! s1 }3 ]# T
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA : y( [+ y! s2 N V; X2 j8 j7 `
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1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can. 6 G! U2 S( S6 h5 _ b5 D6 E
2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt.
. f. C5 Q1 b6 C7 L x8 o4 U- \3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money. # ]+ _2 U3 U' @6 v9 B& D
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0 p2 f3 f t; i; tTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND ' `; t- K+ W2 Q+ L; l4 x" y
5 N% t* R. N, O+ i9 c& c3 K1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge. % x, @# X3 _4 S; }$ H( x
2. You can walk across the province in half an hour. & C& ]# U9 w" H& `; H
3. You can drive across the province in two minutes. 5 g$ b& L! s* n$ K9 i
4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea."
; Z, F+ }6 @5 U6 a1 L5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from. : N! n% O l4 ^
6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night. + Z8 U, H Z* x) } b7 ^# A
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND
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1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea.
# @. t1 E' \0 _/ ~, Q( @2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse.
9 |( `1 c- b4 N" W$ G+ l3. The workday is about two hours long. , z# { _3 m5 T" f* D: h6 X
4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding |
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