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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA
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3 v' V, {# F! d( ~6 n7 s* l& H/ r! N1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math. + @! W6 d9 z7 q9 ^
2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown.
8 `0 D# P0 t) V4 j( L5 v2 G1 \3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations.
, J5 X% k7 Q1 Q- k; Q8 R" p" o4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on. % \4 Q& D! z5 g
5. Weed
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA ' ~' q2 \ U( i
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1. Big rock between you and B.C. & P4 P$ D9 \: n* J5 G5 w/ k
2. Ottawa who?( Y. x$ G. W& j+ s" j
3. Tax is 6% instead of approximately 20% as it is for the rest of the country.
5 ?! B1 ]1 D& p" n6 G4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of. ( {5 L. r. n6 v5 F! {6 w4 N
5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country.
8 g* N3 \5 c8 o- [# g6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups. ) B2 Z" V: l; Q+ A, A
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN
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1. You never run out of wheat. 7 ?1 y1 Y) O7 _& i @+ c0 n
2. Your province is really easy to draw.
$ S7 |8 ^! o' L3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours.
) ^/ \8 h$ y) q* Y) Z9 d) w4. People will assume you live on a farm.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA
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' ~3 o2 C7 ^7 P/ |1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property.
9 B# G7 I* g/ g6 V' Q2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes.
: W2 a& v. z' V" ]. U: M1 A+ C3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter. + L# e: a$ _- g7 \# o5 b6 `
4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood.
, z! z# `1 D( X1 } N% z+ [5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by. # \1 R# M$ M' r! f! J) r
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# e0 H+ G( V2 f5 h; Z& tTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO
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1. You live in the centre of the universe.
4 U" {0 g$ c6 @2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump. ! E L6 d" V6 L( {( F
3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election.
$ B& l0 F* i# K: a4 ~! V5 Y4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime.
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4 O. h. t1 R1 E/ pTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC . }7 z: M9 _8 V8 \" h. e1 N. |' ]- R$ s
5 h! N. x7 U5 B: P9 Y1. Racism is socially acceptable , ]# M" a; }0 r3 p Y
2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next. g }' j& H0 r
3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada.
& k& k5 B, R$ { A. ^* s4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo *
* L, I! y) g5 H+ ATOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK * r+ Z9 T" Y$ ]
0 h* c9 l- Q" ]9 z1 g4 f8 pTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income. ' D. t: \! Q3 A8 r; j
2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies. 9 Z! B2 D) Q5 A
3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick
9 P# O$ V/ k- y! l! M4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse. 1 U, ^4 R4 w0 ~8 O: M
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA ) k$ p$ M( q u1 U, r
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1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can. ' B1 l2 U* g$ O4 Q& N" T$ R' \
2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt.
7 s8 L7 _7 |8 h# O3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND
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. z5 X6 p/ |. _+ R' K: u1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge. + u k; q% _9 n' i4 t1 {
2. You can walk across the province in half an hour. 8 J. N8 K4 q, `# J; u: Z
3. You can drive across the province in two minutes. & j: L2 x2 Z6 A8 f" Q
4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea."
* o: h% j% C8 s5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from.
+ a, j: m$ D! D$ D3 r* e. K4 s) ~6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND
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6 ] ?, }/ ?( p1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea.
' i; E7 _) ]0 v; T; Y5 [/ {( q2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse.
7 | a# w3 @ A( Z" y! Z3 H! r, d3. The workday is about two hours long.
8 q3 s y7 s/ r+ w, g- E5 C4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding |
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