送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON，ALBERTA的朋友

acsm6

NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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3 ^6 M7 O3 U, m' w7 p* l, O; }0 ~ 1. Bring your own house.
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2 D. w! \& ?, s! T- j 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
hospital.

3 E( F  B% b' g2 c& {4 y1 h 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
5 z) `" Z5 @- d6 w* mcapital of Canada .

7 E  t+ A9 H! M& h! M' j 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .

' A% U- i: u" i% ~ 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
capital of Canada .
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, {4 _  B5 M$ b" Z- b( K6 z. | 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
$8.00/hour.

) U, v' _: h( y- V4 N 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
% l' Z: a6 B+ S  ion a 15 year holiday ?
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+ Q% F" V0 b8 ~6 I4 q 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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4 i8 B8 J0 l1 G+ y10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
2 E8 e- T; O' {8 |: bhere sick.
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# e, J6 a+ G( S9 i11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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  O+ q# F8 G( V: W# ]% l' P THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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) B& r: w! w' ?2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
/ e( F; _9 t$ z9 B9 smuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
, [! I$ H7 }0 v- g$ G; Cgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
1 T: V/ _% w3 K; a# h, qphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.

4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
# I2 E  A" f) K3 ^cussed out, and possibly shot.

; c* ~# }4 P* }( ?( Y, C$ P5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
5 r1 r3 u! S, E% O9 h$ Lcan get you shot.

6 a9 ^. }) h: c% H# i1 |$ D6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
: G& U3 k3 m# H$ }barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
more construction starts everyday.

  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
' n' G' x  v5 edeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.

6 ]# R# S  I. t3 w& P% \! B8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
the same road.

9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
) E( A* \' N2 y$ ishoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
! K; W' N% b8 sactivated."

10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
, C- A8 Z3 D, qaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.

. i2 H; o3 T: Y" ]11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw.

大头熊

: h$ E1 }, j3 \- f4 w有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人，大部分人都活下来了。

kaleli

又是一个挨砖的帖子。

人生几何

紫光

西红柿酸

HOAH

朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
2 B" G4 W1 w6 O1 G7 W" k2 O有一个人，他骂了自己所在单位一辈子，由于长期持有一种心情，一种哀怨的表情，脸色都是土灰色的了，可就是没见他作出什么成就，已没有离开他的破单位，却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。

April

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :
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) T. g( D  |* J& m3 o4 W0 a此地钱多, 人傻, 速来



5 N+ ?' p7 L) ?, {, }) L7 |[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]

pacibridge

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
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" E4 s! e2 o) _0 }1 J( @8 d 说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

上酸菜

是原创吗？楼主太有才了，佩服啊！！

宁宁宝宝

HOAH

原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表


说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

, |% |' T4 e+ Y5 p# Q这么刺痛你了吗？
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我可指的是极少数人，如果你不是，就别往自己身上想。

大头熊

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
  G5 b  M* Z0 j1 }2 G朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
* D  x1 k8 l" N" C满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
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你这样不太好吧！每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬，好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。

再次申明我的观点，Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。

Yang123

埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!

MyFairy

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.

lalah

就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊

兔宝宝

以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.