送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON，ALBERTA的朋友

acsm6

NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
# X) Y6 M% L- M; o3 ~capital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .

3 Y6 o+ ?- K9 t0 {. A3 K0 \ 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
/ {& w& ~3 i) _+ j: s! N- qcapital of Canada .

, I! y3 O. F" ~: ^ 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
& A3 F2 x4 r1 n6 d$ r$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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; S& K" y+ v, ?( o; i1 p10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
2 j# I4 J( ]1 }6 xhere sick.
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: q, T. j" ~! l9 i- [/ _, S11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
( A, ~0 k) Q* n# G  q' myears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.


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+ ~2 A  y# a/ T! N0 F9 i2 C THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :

1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".

& u! U+ X( O1 E- w2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
. x2 W" |* M% I; b- n$ l( pis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.

3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
/ Z0 D% i8 B3 jown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
7 E3 b3 t4 l7 R- s. L: amuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
( s. a  w3 K) Q( Z3 D* hgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
/ ~! C1 ]& [' t9 Z% i! ^$ Fphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
3 Y' W) t% P6 L# Z8 `cussed out, and possibly shot.

, b- P, {' G8 }2 t  z) e5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
can get you shot.

% }% q% ~4 |0 _" T4 T5 m( t6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
! |) ^- X; ]4 Hbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
7 `% H8 D( x' j, q0 t3 Zmore construction starts everyday.
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  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
- Y" z0 N' d3 y4 m3 k! [( Ddeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
7 |% D) ^% `- |3 g/ B8 e: q. gsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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2 r) z, X) _0 p8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
5 a& c9 x: y  Y# y; j  Othe same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
2 [) U) z' H2 _" lshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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$ ~" |1 h- c9 `10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
# x! _7 h; g9 x, |* o+ X! Pzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
# M( L) A7 w/ T- }accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.

11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
: Y- s  o2 e6 x& jlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
! r; k6 q( S7 ~blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw.

大头熊

有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人，大部分人都活下来了。

kaleli

又是一个挨砖的帖子。

人生几何

紫光

西红柿酸

HOAH

朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
有一个人，他骂了自己所在单位一辈子，由于长期持有一种心情，一种哀怨的表情，脸色都是土灰色的了，可就是没见他作出什么成就，已没有离开他的破单位，却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。

April

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :
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8 c' ?: x) H3 J% u4 c4 W' I此地钱多, 人傻, 速来

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[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]

pacibridge

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
5 B5 K7 y7 f4 x4 N! k; F' k朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
) u( g5 L0 b6 N, ]2 I, p2 P满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
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+ @5 t! f# _8 O) l4 m% ] 说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

上酸菜

是原创吗？楼主太有才了，佩服啊！！

宁宁宝宝

HOAH

原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表


9 k* ^' B: t- x% i' L( t 说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

# }9 s; C; g8 a; ?1 t* s0 {这么刺痛你了吗？
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我可指的是极少数人，如果你不是，就别往自己身上想。

大头熊

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
, q! S. h* V7 V3 x满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
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你这样不太好吧！每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬，好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。
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再次申明我的观点，Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。

Yang123

埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!

MyFairy

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.
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lalah

就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊

兔宝宝

以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.