 鲜花( 1)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA, x, e9 O* p6 m$ L T! j
: C, J5 T; _% [
( j+ a' ^: u. w# d" r! M, G6 J
+ M, _& a! T% Y) U, Z
1. Bring your own house.. a ?% j6 y; z" _( \6 \6 s
7 S' L4 M3 o5 J8 q
2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and4 l' M5 I) T# [5 S; Q! M5 l R) C e& j
hospital.( `( m% C4 ~0 d0 m! d* m
3 j0 H9 ^( t) b, L 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder8 i0 g$ F; [6 q! L# X
capital of Canada .9 v+ J1 R( k: O9 h( r) l: Y! Q8 u
( t( Y: H3 X+ ^& |8 a. I 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
& t s5 M: y& Y; l& l* v/ P6 x: ?7 m- D, P- q
5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug! F) m- O- J% w& `$ r
capital of Canada .5 e( B. ]7 E) t4 F( U
/ V2 H# `7 u- v n 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
7 K$ w; U' [5 T& i2 v- m5 e$8.00/hour.
, _( ]! H# `- e! O$ N% n/ k# S v! {4 p: K
7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour./ `0 h0 k: e t0 x0 {
: l5 \3 ]* O' k 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money8 O! S3 q/ o+ ^6 P
on a 15 year holiday ?) M7 r! p6 K6 C$ R. w) Q0 F
; J/ U& _. e1 f3 V e
9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
$ {9 P6 c5 _0 d! Uprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
# w# a3 @ f7 F% l. d' x) P8 l% U& J+ [. g4 Q' U6 a6 [- w9 h
10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come1 |1 L. H9 W# i4 W: V0 i4 |" A- C
here sick.: k2 c% y5 Y. D0 B' z; T
! |+ u6 G+ c0 r11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
2 e- `/ F- D) b! s) V. C. Zyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
0 V% f* ]8 N. H4 C, @
* r; V, t$ |( Q6 }& Y" p L
8 h Y z. A* w: ~ _1 m2 s. p8 [ T6 U N6 @$ V
THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
: E. j5 B6 l! E. d% R {6 P4 z
; M- Y% A8 V5 u1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
- r2 K) i* L: P) b% C- Q* {/ P
& \# w5 V0 [0 d: x( Q2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour2 {( X- I3 e$ b7 n5 J5 e1 d
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.& _- V" V# r# Z& c2 S
7 f+ p' S7 X6 D3 c% \) H
3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its g, O6 m& s2 x6 `, P4 N
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
+ p- t/ Q* c) tmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
P6 D2 F8 ^$ l* m6 I$ }go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
/ M* Q/ |: T9 p! rphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
) C2 N- `; L$ r7 v- l3 [6 Z! s$ L; _% S3 S7 ]! e
4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
5 }4 y; K9 B- R4 b- C' G2 ccussed out, and possibly shot.
6 J; }6 I" s* x a% [' {1 ]$ f3 I& N; z& u
5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that2 V; G. g1 T$ t/ {( l7 g0 a
can get you shot.
1 \6 G% v3 l( j+ K, N o' x9 D1 d5 N3 n' {" a
6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour0 o7 ]. v' r# p$ E% ^2 s' f9 u
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next: U2 J0 m: ^+ Y$ Z) a* Q
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
, l& \" K7 q# b& kmore construction starts everyday.
3 c% T8 [0 P' R& D3 F
7 a N8 I! z$ H9 G' V 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
; U* Z: z0 w% t6 T5 \, s+ D* Tdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,- @2 d& o8 v* d# |3 G( k# Z
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
# V3 b2 O0 v/ d8 P8 f4 y1 V) v' p& {$ n1 p0 b
8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
6 M7 R$ L2 L" d: S1 cthe same road.
7 e/ d+ s% {6 w
3 D( ]- U& m1 y$ B1 L E" S$ x9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the& ]' M1 L+ N) ^5 p/ O: R
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
8 L/ \# O0 a7 g5 _% N. ], h& `activated."* k" B, D- S8 x. `8 n
+ t& q% }. N( _: m' Q
10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
6 f. V* c* f) W( Jzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
: w$ A9 Q- t/ J; C9 c0 Waccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
* h4 o6 v2 a0 j# U K! o
+ i9 ~. P0 _2 u5 V# h1 l" J11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
/ `9 l2 F6 p8 E' t: @$ S+ D7 h# hlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
; M' R- r6 b& J! f: C% s+ U( yblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is8 s' f' L: e, o& n! ^4 Z
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
; k& K0 Q& r: b4 _" o7 z
2 h, p9 i" |9 e1 z8 h* X
