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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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5 z+ h! P9 N& A7 w4 x; Q& Z* @ 1. Bring your own house.: _* T% x5 F d3 C
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and6 s; |& V2 W, ]) E" b
hospital.
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- w( n, E# I0 l5 J c* [ 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder9 K1 o% ]+ Y, l' e
capital of Canada .
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t/ M' \6 j) {& @1 @ 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .) t% p! B h- X8 h) }) J; b
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
. |8 X2 f' C3 c' O$8.00/hour.9 H( ]) E e/ w# j. t$ Y0 G
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
8 ]- ]' l- B* A+ }( W! ?: Q0 q. Uon a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
) O% O5 A" W2 {* }& {prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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! I% Q6 `2 Z; @# N$ ?10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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0 V% W$ Y+ t% r% F# h) a( X11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
) I1 I7 Q* S/ hyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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4 b5 p1 j x0 V+ D- T4 @ THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :1 y( y& ?& N+ I! v. F5 R/ c) @
& c; s7 I; p: {1 b) J# R1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
$ f r: J0 t- h8 L9 r& S' Q& Sis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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) n" R0 J4 o# Z' H3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
6 E" N) H, m: w" A6 C) u& Iown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest+ `/ w l3 y7 ^8 H
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires. D2 S2 B- v( K P7 ^( W
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
* w& E: f" K7 ]phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,; j; J' K* b3 w% y
cussed out, and possibly shot.& d: d! y# i3 A3 W- o+ r# W
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
6 U- w' i1 J# |can get you shot.5 i% D; g: D. `* }
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
2 D9 E% J0 D. g) m+ c3 rbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
6 F- ]) ]2 W+ T1 p8 dday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
$ A+ N% ~$ e9 ^more construction starts everyday.
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* Z) E" ?/ z/ X, o9 Z 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
' b( @/ U* [8 E3 E2 ydeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
% M( B# K6 [+ Asquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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% \( `# q5 |: ~7 W. f8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all# N; ?% b! v2 U6 [, h5 i4 `
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the4 Y9 X' J, t: J/ y* @5 @
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
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accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur; k7 s" N1 B7 n( F; f1 b- |
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and# Y \! s/ n! e, J* j
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
s& P. J0 h' R, {) _# v0 ]8 {% vvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
