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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and3 J6 h3 e; ?& ?, h4 e+ Q6 m( V
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder1 K9 `/ V3 c! N# H( L: n
capital of Canada .
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6 c. x. W/ D. T) E4 v0 n7 d* |. Y 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .7 ?* m4 h% `, Q+ U/ D- c
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
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$ n/ h4 \: O; J6 @ 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is8 j$ K- n$ q, f* {, y
$8.00/hour.3 P; _$ O. \& q& t/ r
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas) m! h4 m: S" I4 G3 s
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 124 D5 p- U$ T d( |3 X
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.8 a/ e+ u$ S- H, U/ G$ x- E+ H' r
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :9 n1 v% @1 @# C, q
3 j+ N" G& ]* e1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
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& \1 g2 H) ~9 o& I0 b+ F+ B3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
. K6 p- r8 q3 f9 h( Y- Y& X! sown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest) a; M! ^3 ]$ f/ a0 [$ T. |) O
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires/ N+ W4 K2 {+ h2 n& D& b
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell! a, k2 V+ d. X
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.6 X" a- m# k. O" G: \1 o, X: u
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
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2 V% t; }$ A; M+ q# \# [5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
0 {6 T& ]; j& H/ b/ \, qcan get you shot.
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' g3 m8 A! U& z8 `& b% G6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour7 |% G1 T% ]% {% B/ p) x$ ~
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
0 ]9 k1 A" N* h4 ~* Bday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and- Z: d: Y# O- t( C" `; W, n+ Z% U
more construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,3 J7 H$ h4 A6 j, X& `+ ^& [3 w$ f
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
: x# \) d* ^; H7 e. F- dsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.) ^" L2 i/ W/ p: C$ i
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all/ C7 P$ k4 O7 [% e' T. I
the same road.: X* ?: j6 m7 i) X2 a
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
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activated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
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accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot., G1 Z4 }4 O8 e) F( z7 V; d
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
) a9 [9 X5 I$ _4 ulined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
& C: n4 D1 y A9 k' C5 K$ P: ublankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is7 M0 p; w1 W( y$ K# e2 _' y
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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