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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder6 N$ t9 P) }2 D" G! |7 Z% d& v
capital of Canada .) P5 I5 e% t$ B) o2 S' x
3 T$ _# u& o5 ~1 x6 R 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .2 h+ m, M ?$ U* j8 ^! l
1 T2 F, z3 u$ U- p* m3 e7 c& k5 Q 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug' A, a n3 w& }5 x5 f3 v
capital of Canada .% ^% s/ |& P) E6 M: [
' z7 z) ]8 B0 v) H! v 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
" ?5 s% U2 B3 y$8.00/hour.: B* [+ Q B2 ^: K' h0 x) c+ K, z
* o O# x. h4 x; z9 `( B 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.8 F% j6 f' p2 _( j! ^
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
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/ f7 `( }+ j8 d! f. h+ N 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
' p x I/ C9 n% G9 C% [prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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# i% J# x# Y, K& z: `6 b. D3 [10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
, b% x" X4 [' Q+ J# |* bhere sick.
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6 y7 P( ]0 e0 Q8 X" B. n11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 124 s3 |. f2 L$ w! N
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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5 b+ c4 h/ a6 O5 R/ q( g5 G+ @ THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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0 E9 c- Q9 @+ Z6 a1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
d; j9 [3 d5 [, R# E6 {is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.) q8 L+ X5 t/ ^8 C% a$ \
& S- R+ C: k. { A9 r: F9 N3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its( U6 L- Q1 `0 L( ?, j3 k0 N0 h3 r3 ^
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
& A) g7 ~9 \8 g- w1 n! D) z+ gmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
, t7 t: t: t0 O- f2 Vgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell- A3 w! f- y. x9 ~3 e4 U0 L3 {2 w2 F
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
$ h% Y7 S' Q ~/ f: [' @$ Ybarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next0 f& d" e U0 f! ^
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
$ j8 Y V X; D! C) N. j5 q* Fmore construction starts everyday.# x/ m: j" {. W+ V
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats, M. `3 Z, L: V! ^
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
5 Y' y L4 j; [+ ^, usquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all; Z5 K6 D5 i; c' |
the same road.* f2 d' P- \- u: ]
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the/ g8 H5 w. Q' @/ l U0 O3 S: |
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km. X' z% Q; _6 z
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
& e* w Q( x7 ^% naccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.6 ]% i) V+ _* ?( e. J5 a1 s p/ X
# J5 p; @. S! [ {$ m3 Y11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur( E' X1 \ p6 b0 y2 k. O- ^
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
* I% B* o- N. Q, s6 v% i/ k( cblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is2 I9 o' Z9 k+ J k
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
