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送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.9 J9 H7 I! P. c! r3 b. u5 p9 f

4 a0 w. ]( z  ]3 k; d( c 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
1 m' V. L% V. N' n3 Ohospital.' E( O& z$ `5 f% Q$ e6 [

7 t* ?* A8 \" J% J 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
' o6 y% B: }' z' ]5 g8 H" Y" icapital of Canada .
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( z# X, c$ I8 s+ _; i# F% D 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .( [5 {7 H. t+ M2 I- q- I# }
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug& a8 p- P  j( Q# z# i# A
capital of Canada .
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4 o% K" f8 V; F' Z5 q 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
0 x- ]" ]9 U: Y. `( g) ~$ M; {$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.6 Z: [: ?( O2 G3 m. z
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money8 Q: W5 N; V5 C$ E% x+ G" Q
on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
6 Y0 @) {! T! x8 j  f7 s6 Rprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)+ Z/ f& Z% K, V* v& O% L
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come9 `% H8 l; ]6 |2 j/ ^2 L" K
here sick.* b9 @, e/ j5 M1 Y" _' t
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 129 j4 @' J" b3 x6 s$ e0 y. b
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.& B7 o1 A) S( X; t+ k# w

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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
9 p) j( _/ N2 h% Z: Y7 ~3 Zis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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& ~+ b3 u2 Q2 z' G3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its& N0 \% |2 L2 N  d
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
* O5 X' p% b) x. e. Tmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires- Z3 x" x& b+ ]+ ]' u9 G
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
5 n/ P6 m0 ~1 V* U* g2 n' sphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.5 k" L  `, v: b2 J; J* Z' @

$ Q4 M& O' d. ^' Q5 }/ r- `* _4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
1 l+ h7 J7 {  v: |- ?cussed out, and possibly shot.
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  }0 o$ l: q: Q' J& `, S" {  i5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
  U) n. N8 C& o6 D* k  W* W4 \can get you shot.0 T3 K" x' ?+ u1 }2 _
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
! {5 E2 F6 r! N1 }" Gbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
2 d  D7 U. t  f/ C9 nday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
; x: S* `- w* a+ Omore construction starts everyday.
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  k, d+ l: O' M9 W( C  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
5 E  J) R! w5 N) z+ \7 m# v' ]) Bdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
* E) \# f5 ?' R9 V* ~/ Csquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.7 b6 ^' r' j. d! z

  x+ {: H( I  c5 D8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all( s9 B/ Q( C4 c4 _
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the$ _' x; t8 A; Z1 f& m
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally* l. V3 A, C$ G7 N
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km4 g/ J# x2 ?* E+ B0 D
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
# [3 X& f* m- _* f$ Jaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.2 |# y+ f; }7 b6 g8 o0 `) x+ I/ U

3 {; C1 t8 ^7 d% B' p5 Y$ L11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
. `+ g( u4 {* ?0 p* G& G/ ?lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
& ?3 b* K2 ~5 d# J. g& s% Mblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
+ F6 Z$ |; }: }4 ivirtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层
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有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
理袁律师事务所
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
- n; X# O: L8 y满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。* [1 E( I. O9 D
有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 : ( k( m: C# k& l# Y5 H: R1 H- h8 o

6 v$ O1 o4 i  H7 P4 @: E' M! k此地钱多, 人傻, 速来
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[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 # m. x" y6 K: U; s
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。" m6 ~) C9 p5 l- d7 h* L2 n5 U
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。, D6 ]! v  D3 N* ~4 M7 @
...
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$ v0 I% ~) D5 x! F* p+ N# [ 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表 - I& B, f% i$ K. w0 F

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说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。

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2 r0 t7 b5 m! ]2 G7 r) f这么刺痛你了吗?+ |" n/ P; `9 r' ~1 I9 b
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我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
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发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 ! B6 e" v& M2 b" d
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。) N% \- C- j$ F; N# V$ }6 m# i
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。* c& N$ h% ?, z+ a% n/ N7 M
...

  i  o5 X! W4 C4 M# h- m/ _9 j8 `你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。
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: ~: F3 K$ |2 b3 X3 L再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
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发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
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发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.- }* l- A* V/ C& g/ V1 F

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发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
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发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
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