送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON，ALBERTA的朋友

acsm6

NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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& B7 O; @9 j, ~2 E  h0 _0 s4 Y 1. Bring your own house.
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3 m" S$ T9 J: Q 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
hospital.

3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
& {$ L+ C1 m8 S8 [: `0 Q* Ccapital of Canada .

& Y1 u  ^& Y: ~3 a 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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, E% |( H# N4 x1 x 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
capital of Canada .

6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
4 U# e- ^, H9 z2 [$8.00/hour.
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. E% Z' A* Y- \0 r0 q' T' ]2 |# O) D 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.

! z) F+ R" e) o$ `5 w; i- x 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
on a 15 year holiday ?

+ W2 I. L0 i* U; l7 \) k, w 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
here sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
2 a4 h' I) r4 \+ [, @years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.

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4 e9 `' y' Y/ l. j" K' d# a2 _ THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :

1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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# M9 P, p, i3 c# U2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.

3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.

4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
7 W8 b; Z+ b, M" U+ r5 vcan get you shot.

6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
8 y1 z/ r$ t9 B# w7 @barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
more construction starts everyday.
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& h3 A5 K* |4 t. q  R1 ~  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
( m  l0 s5 w; m* U$ gsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.

8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
: v) i5 d0 j6 s! E; Cthe same road.

6 U3 F8 y2 k* l. I' Y9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
8 }/ J; ^! _; Ashoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
) e4 U. {5 q( t- Vactivated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
$ y! D, F3 o  S; D! e; L- ozone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.

11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw.

大头熊

2 Y5 p$ P  m# B5 `, k有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人，大部分人都活下来了。

kaleli

又是一个挨砖的帖子。

人生几何

紫光

西红柿酸

HOAH

朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
  K+ M, D4 f, n+ p6 h- x满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
+ s  v, q2 l; w. `' u0 P# m有一个人，他骂了自己所在单位一辈子，由于长期持有一种心情，一种哀怨的表情，脸色都是土灰色的了，可就是没见他作出什么成就，已没有离开他的破单位，却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。

April

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :

/ K0 j. d, X% C- a; j此地钱多, 人傻, 速来

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3 |% l; S& a+ J0 J[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]

pacibridge

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
5 M0 q5 }0 y9 k% V4 r: b朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
...

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) S4 j; ?# u- _' G+ y6 C# k( [ 说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

上酸菜

是原创吗？楼主太有才了，佩服啊！！

宁宁宝宝

HOAH

原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表
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/ d) b4 u9 y; T" \7 S2 r9 e! P 说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

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0 z7 ?8 _& d8 k2 H4 ]7 }这么刺痛你了吗？

我可指的是极少数人，如果你不是，就别往自己身上想。

大头熊

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
- v; Y1 l- v) v$ a朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
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7 i# s; ?. M) g6 w4 j* ^你这样不太好吧！每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬，好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。
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再次申明我的观点，Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。

Yang123

埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!

MyFairy

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.
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lalah

就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊

兔宝宝

以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.