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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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0 q; M* o$ s7 G+ u2 {9 B 1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and R1 ]3 ^7 H+ |% C
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder: B H( A D; ~7 z) y( G
capital of Canada .* _4 U5 M9 g1 N h
' K) v" A+ K, [6 v& d 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .+ B; @' n# Y$ s+ K3 c
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug/ ~+ D% u6 M/ g8 T$ o$ c+ `6 j
capital of Canada .
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$ h6 }- M5 f) T5 a 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
# M4 X) {) s9 a" A. C5 J1 V$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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! w, Z1 V8 s9 j2 o! g 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
/ @5 Q: c4 F9 o( R# z3 G4 L- non a 15 year holiday ?" z( ~8 S+ z. q' i& _7 Y
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas7 c( f& k4 k) t. I
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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: B& {4 S5 d9 u, \" Z0 N10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
/ [% ^ p2 ^& p0 l$ P4 h) w& hhere sick.
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5 n4 A1 Z7 L" p* e4 A11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12! z0 a7 ]7 U2 K" ^$ O
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.7 X! F L5 f, j6 o1 K* g
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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& _* r2 ^% R8 @+ B; K1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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+ ?. }- l, _; F2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
+ D! ]# Y' N- ^: [2 ais from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
1 i" v; N, I a6 I& }+ C5 Wown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
# S# q2 M' i) ~" u/ o0 Jmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires6 i' Z! [+ Z; I7 Q
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
! J$ }4 j* _; f |6 E5 q' b* {phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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. ^2 y: H1 t2 a4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
5 A, X3 d, y, k$ V, Ycussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that5 ?: n% e; Z, ~& l7 a
can get you shot.
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5 m x% \+ q; t' o6 Q4 I6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
! R$ D& P$ E. _4 ]barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
* z! _" P. I8 r4 @$ nday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
5 \& T+ ^: E: y! v" s% hmore construction starts everyday.
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5 u" y5 X: P2 x4 b* |: y6 z" U, r 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,: o( }* |' K, m9 ?5 ^
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,( {/ a$ C# B: o
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.: G+ P5 O: s7 S; n) t& B# A6 w
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
( \1 G3 F7 F/ r5 x; Rthe same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the$ E( H2 w9 [# d9 U! r. J7 ^6 d
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally* ]8 x0 C) x; F- L" o9 k
activated."% }3 C7 K$ C+ K5 c6 \
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km( L: |) @. h' `( M* w; `! h
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"" v8 D5 n, `6 p; k
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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; |3 f2 s5 \. @, V+ y8 b11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur2 b" V$ Y& L) i- |% \
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
( h. z, |2 n' G% M% ^blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is/ c! k5 q! S7 v# `
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
