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Why did God make mothers?, W7 {8 j9 f4 e/ O1 Z
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1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
( o4 R* _. ~2 q1 a5 i I4 E3 q2. Mostly to clean the house. * `7 l* S' r8 n& g6 |3 K( X, I$ ?9 w
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born. 3 T; p5 L5 E2 T
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How did God make mothers?
, ^5 M1 X1 z% Q1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
' W6 w& V6 R& m! O+ Q7 @0 j2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3 `. h4 N' Q% ?* c, P3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.
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What ingredients are mothers made of ? # o3 n3 B; }4 X, K) t7 Y$ t
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean. 9 ^6 Y' }" |0 e3 x8 L
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.
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Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1 y' J9 @, c3 p: `1. We're related.
9 p* C/ I4 u: m' j4 Q, p2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.
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6 `3 k1 {" ]% _1 Y6 n) b: EWhat kind of little girl was your mom? 0 ~/ `6 V( @, X6 F% z; o: s- u
1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff. / E: |( x# @ B
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
+ @ U) D9 @% B% S1 J$ k" N5 F3. They say she used to be nice. 4 q/ u2 o8 d7 T9 H5 d
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What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
- H1 _- h" G1 m5 C4 L1. His last name.
/ q; [* ^2 ~2 I+ n1 Z2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
C; `$ E9 W- Q0 d3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores? ' Z; s6 U* D- W S
3 L) q0 a3 a+ B) `, NWhy did your mom marry your dad? 0 b8 C3 e+ ]" @
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
; C" c. B" M2 g7 J4 @5 E1 p* B2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
; m8 s% r1 Z) M1 G# M4 J3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on. # }+ @4 j$ R( _. m2 L& P6 l' q
9 I- @: |7 |- d4 S: N( k4 dWho's the boss at your house?
/ f( b# u6 j6 ]$ h# U1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
+ Q* q6 \1 L. y2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3 d. }8 p3 y+ F# n+ v3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad. 4 n! A; T( l8 _- _; }' A" J8 ]
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What's the difference between moms & dads? 7 s3 f( m9 _, h3 R0 ~! F0 G
1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
2 k" b- n! D- i& k' E" j2 {+ X2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.4 F" o* v+ i8 I/ s# E; ?
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
* |0 n. S4 l& }/ y" q5 d4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine. 5 T7 b# |7 W1 b5 O, l5 Y$ ~
* R- y$ o% Z: l$ C5 oWhat does your mom do in her spare time?
# c9 M* ~) ?( g1. Mothers don't do spare time.
' C' s' {, F+ l. p1 h. }5 l4 n2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long. # m5 t! j. n" \$ G$ K8 T
1 Q' }/ z# ]' I+ {# R, kWhat would it take to make your mom perfect?
* |: i( ^1 E$ [ @: H& [: t1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.7 M: S3 U9 |; D$ v" i7 Q
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.
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If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
% s, h! B; Y2 o2 [ j1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
9 g7 \5 x; u Z3 R- p4 Z- D2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
( x- Z9 C, {- J: @3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head. " k, a$ q/ ]) M) _
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