 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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4 J! j0 h) Z, v" `; G) oIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.% @$ [7 n* I' z7 x. E. t. }
0 u$ Q: f/ x4 Q7 m1 KLook at your womanly physique in the mirror --
( L) J5 j$ b+ x) J5 H! Smake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc./ O4 n& u( [1 P; @ @3 x+ R
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 3 N- N3 ^* Q. k+ i2 N; M' S
& ?) p% @; J, P! L1 eWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. : ?2 h) R- @0 F+ e3 s
9 q1 n+ h5 Y7 y8 FWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.4 X# h4 S8 ~9 Z
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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; A7 M/ W& ]9 V) _ sWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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3 O; Q7 u5 I0 x( j) ]( t( N0 }- XRinse conditioner off hair.# d% H6 I, ~* u8 t
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Shave armpits and legs.+ \; t' o' b0 K9 ^0 J4 g! ?
* o3 h% G) V8 C! w+ B; fTurn off shower. Y( O, O8 E4 f* z: L2 y( C
1 l- `$ F0 @% e* X) fSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.! @# A# m8 V/ f# r: u
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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" }$ ]. \5 n! X4 NReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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8 T0 K" C9 r( g( }5 S5 o% u9 DIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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6 k6 @+ l: y1 u' Q3 C0 n, p9 c* @HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: - _: _$ q: S5 c
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. - Z$ x$ o- H+ `/ L
z2 F7 K' G, o. j' L! R0 b7 SWalk naked to the bathroom.
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- b7 _- y% I3 i. [7 pIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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$ i( W0 l ]( |9 m) @) L/ ?Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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. j1 ~' \1 ?# G0 K2 u+ vBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. - E5 R+ ^5 c4 O
% Q# f7 Y1 @8 s3 K. _6 lSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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, ^3 H p+ i: r! x" sWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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" f2 N6 H# ?( t% j# UWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. : A, `1 F3 P s, D5 m, m
$ F/ s8 T$ k0 ]- ]" |Pee.
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Rinse off and get out of shower. 0 Z1 {# D4 ]3 w' S
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Partially dry off.3 F4 ~4 L/ z2 K1 Q0 W
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. * Z' v, ?: Y: Q& W" e$ L5 C
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Admire wiener size in mirror again. & l( u: E- t9 ]4 J ]/ T
- m+ k c1 p5 P5 J7 }Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. : s7 p, C' o$ h/ q$ q
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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* D. g h) R$ i$ lThrow wet towel on bed. 2 X) J; a( P- P; x3 [
5 I% a, c+ T( V8 EIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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