 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks./ j, V8 a$ R9 U( D$ A1 q0 Z
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. & z: f% m" B/ D) S
( d1 n& e& @3 ^; ^) O, vIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.$ o5 a* o7 M4 T
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- . P& h1 x( b4 X" S$ T% v
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.6 U$ e7 i) m7 r/ h
/ Y" T7 C7 S- tGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. & m* t% d9 L m* P$ {% J2 ]
3 d, F4 J! J3 D" B# j( D8 c4 mWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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' W0 Q! M* \# h: M0 IWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.' W" Q# \) X* v$ D2 \! h0 C
$ C' B# i+ s1 f# P V# a7 N( M% bCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. . r2 i: _9 H* }( Q _4 Q, N
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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+ E( O; W" g4 k' t. E1 v, H& x8 RRinse conditioner off hair.2 y0 H& }& z$ Y3 ?5 b* O
/ c% E1 O: n5 K4 @: D) T8 g9 `Shave armpits and legs.
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, w# O2 @4 b, I, dTurn off shower.% h. o+ Y0 j1 K# p- J! a
; q( y0 C5 b# l% b) lSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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, g' N4 Q4 x4 ^+ A; w4 u8 p5 B8 M8 iSpray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. ! @; r3 A t) P; P- ~$ y
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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4 Y( `3 U+ n% `Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. ; M% L _1 O# J) e) c
& P1 e; ?1 I) o3 b& o kIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: 2 a! Z( V+ Z$ N" R6 L7 V
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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Walk naked to the bathroom.! G6 w8 i$ @ o5 a4 a! q2 O
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror. & m$ P$ L) M6 M1 V' i
% k9 y; N2 i Y5 n3 I/ p7 r7 jAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. 2 |1 g k2 J5 e" h0 R
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 4 s; g, x1 M* d/ p+ g
. v, ?4 u1 e: xBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. " l/ A J* F) \2 t9 K* a# g5 G
( v. M9 m# B' C- d8 pSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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. C! M% R2 Z( U" ]" c! m" uWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. + C \" R. z; m% I. ?0 H
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Pee.
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( R! t* E; z) k2 |4 TRinse off and get out of shower.
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* b: {1 s: L( f# f* Z) u5 fPartially dry off.
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/ w3 |0 c# b U4 Q7 B ^8 RFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 5 }+ B L$ I1 k- {
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. , C# P5 I3 Y' {+ A Y6 @
. |. k* c2 l" y) AThrow wet towel on bed.
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7 N% D b, }& v+ DIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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