 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks./ c% x- F2 o( ^8 M7 A, E3 S
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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+ u N. T( c, R* x+ Q" z! z" {! ?% BLook at your womanly physique in the mirror -- ! f" b( E% t3 z& ~5 r
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.3 S+ ~7 X* d# R2 w' {2 ?
, Z3 W/ Q4 Y4 B1 @- e! fGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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" W; I, y2 ?) F/ A) V5 R. AWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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. K3 N h% R$ s3 P1 T8 Z* sCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..1 A! |: ^, m% j: B
6 ?; I+ w; G; T, q8 e5 j) O/ j% k* aWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. 5 N, n% Y! ~) i0 F9 G
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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. |* S) P" P5 k. N. C( wRinse conditioner off hair.
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* A" c% }, Z/ }% y. q( Y8 cShave armpits and legs.9 B) }7 Z- c' t! [! C/ a
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Turn off shower.
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# S% }7 L4 ?0 i6 Z l1 MSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.6 a# x4 S r$ {1 r4 P# D3 X5 W
1 P, b b* E7 rSpray mold spots with Tilex.
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+ E* a" Z# s6 a! R6 eGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. 6 z) ~- B# [2 B' b" e% d: I, K9 v
, {3 R% V f& f/ f- [Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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! ^2 b4 z5 `9 C3 ]8 zTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. , e5 u4 X3 I% ?7 `
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Walk naked to the bathroom.; W0 |4 y/ d3 b" S/ N
9 Q0 e, f" e+ U- gIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. 4 I! _1 f: I3 h' z0 J
: ?3 |" V3 m1 Q& `Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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_9 l0 I- g2 c2 @$ @! X7 |- l$ ZAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. $ d& z }$ I3 J+ ]6 B8 m- J" {: d% q
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 4 t* R/ g, j w R9 h# _
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. . ?9 Q, D b! t5 X+ u4 p
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. E/ p2 m2 [0 q8 v+ z
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5 S' o8 |6 O) T3 j$ ?- u% _2 i" BRinse off and get out of shower. , z* P; X: R2 M( j1 F
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Partially dry off.
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+ p2 W% f0 R9 d) K; QFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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Admire wiener size in mirror again. " E& _* g# s( O
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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* f+ M: k9 o+ {6 t- ?/ |- q, DReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. 8 N: [- Z9 k7 u/ K$ u) A8 I
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Throw wet towel on bed.
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- G* ^# V3 u& I" a& I! }If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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