 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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8 _6 T5 ^$ N, d+ _/ XTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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' i3 `* r" m4 a) n6 PWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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3 X1 M; t2 a/ W4 x. m! l: KIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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, y4 i9 ]5 F) X5 d' MLook at your womanly physique in the mirror --
# g% E# a) _- O, {+ R& y! a4 r1 ymake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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0 m5 |9 @5 g3 j, S; Z- bGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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# O, m& J9 @ ]* @Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. & J: V g. n- ^$ V* Q: B/ v
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..0 e; a, M+ ?* v
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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Rinse conditioner off hair.
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" c8 v' ?3 g: n0 MShave armpits and legs.
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, W5 i8 |( T* S9 UTurn off shower.' g+ T; Y* i6 Q9 L: j( d) N; U7 W/ v
6 l1 i$ n' Y8 _7 q$ |Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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6 n: L, b7 m% r9 J9 {# K1 S) o: o. RSpray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. : h1 f- x1 m2 Q- i) e
' |7 K$ `6 c0 d: |. _Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. & B! M. I& P* t6 P( n( a. @
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: # Y- B- X$ u2 f' Z( R7 x" `
2 Z) i( o/ C" c) o7 [. ?Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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$ w: H, M2 R4 {- A6 I) V$ rWalk naked to the bathroom., y& s# A8 a. o" y/ {; R
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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7 D1 x+ P0 C- H; lLook at your manly physique in the mirror. : ?) X6 Y3 R4 ?; g7 Q5 z. \
5 ]8 c/ j5 X0 N( bAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 1 M8 |$ Z7 [) F' u% M0 ^4 O/ X
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. $ w- ~3 A+ n s a( v3 x+ M
! r! v: E7 w( H' n y% LFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 8 D5 ?) P% R$ R) j2 V
. V& \: @) T4 [$ ]4 [! NSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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7 T+ A t9 v! @Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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7 S% p; n% o" J4 L' p# UWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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7 N- f1 o- j# @# i- |+ [Pee. 7 L# A8 i3 [6 |- `' j m) d0 S
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Rinse off and get out of shower. ; S. \: A; Q# K9 [( N& S: A
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Partially dry off.; h8 U p5 J+ T# m l
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. ( e5 ~2 @5 a. T/ Q1 z$ r; g
0 W. Z' q% n9 b5 V# nAdmire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed. * Q+ I1 ^2 S8 ]9 Y
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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