 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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9 M0 T; t E" h7 A6 U* m0 G" ~7 G. oWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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* r1 p7 ^/ A! eIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.% Z; b$ U) L% U; p( l4 z. ?
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
z$ g5 ?: u! J2 Pmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.$ H3 g/ l1 b6 u, ?# J
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. . p" J- J4 g1 w$ w: D
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 1 p, t" Y2 _- S2 r- x( E
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.+ }8 {3 q4 t/ S9 Z% l6 u
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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6 Q3 h4 R V( n7 L/ e/ M5 hWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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Rinse conditioner off hair.
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Shave armpits and legs.
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Turn off shower.5 h: m* a- b$ H) Q: H) G
5 ~" ?7 ?4 w; E, s& j9 aSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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. g! x4 Z( G/ YSpray mold spots with Tilex. ! T* [+ R/ t- \1 [0 {
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. $ ]$ I1 v, |/ T( O
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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9 D: ?# T% ^8 x$ tReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. 2 ^, v) g/ u0 y4 N9 v
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: % k% ? _! x7 H8 e5 j
2 I; F# L9 c/ A1 V" i0 D& M- N" QTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. ( A% ?# }# Y, X$ J+ n8 E. D
# N ~; Z( c- G; I# s ]Walk naked to the bathroom.
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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$ y0 y C3 u& y: e: i0 X7 kLook at your manly physique in the mirror. ) ^4 J/ u! q! {5 G8 Z( [0 B8 I
/ x' `/ z6 [" g1 {9 M: E( BAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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7 [+ H/ T2 N$ r: ~, Y3 gGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. ]% {2 M1 z: X n, t
4 t5 Y* Q. h3 w- \( E' l kWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. : N' d/ j6 @2 @$ s
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. 6 C o6 H1 j; j8 ~6 }: ]) ]4 w
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Pee. 0 z1 g4 e( _, g/ l
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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Partially dry off.. X8 J4 Z* I' |( ]4 |4 V" o
* R$ X9 B) V% UFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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Admire wiener size in mirror again. ; T P7 N& q9 `# A
. W: V0 z. F/ v$ j5 |% d+ N2 L ULeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. 0 Y2 n- {) d0 ~8 I: m- [3 `+ A
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Throw wet towel on bed.
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$ K/ J1 N( K1 P2 _6 bIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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