Crazy English! Zt

victorw

ZT


Crazy English!
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We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.

- P. }% ^9 Y' ~7 T. H2 O5 M- V7 XOne fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

4 o. g2 }5 ~4 w1 yYou may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
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' g1 {* F: w% ]7 u0 `  R5 c/ E( FIf the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
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If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?
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7 q3 [, A3 U; aThen one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
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/ w9 A+ b! J; g! }6 A. vWe speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.
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Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.
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Let's face it, English is a crazy language!
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3 ~8 x+ `& r3 \There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.
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* Q, R3 U0 o8 `+ mAnd why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?
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! z$ K$ F8 D4 N- r: IDoesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?

If you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

; }) C: H. C* NIf teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
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8 o0 S) ~* K$ V; C# L+ S( `If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
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In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
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& @: h. {  ^( r7 {/ T, O8 w6 NShip by truck and send cargo by ship?
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6 }) S# u5 X3 A! t- o  O1 ?. ^  @Have noses that run and feet that smell?

/ b% n+ g6 s, OHow can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
2 x$ A! q8 u2 r6 M* p, E* oHouse burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!
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Sometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane