Crazy English! Zt

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Crazy English!

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.
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0 X; A- p; l( xOne fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
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2 I0 r/ Z7 ]0 i2 A# Y* @% B3 vYou may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
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If the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

  f1 m2 F; O* c7 B# T. l. V  V) pIf I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?

* B; y5 _6 y1 N& k" W- f; R5 E1 }If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?
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Then one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.

: l. ~% ]! A( i  |) H: pWe speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.

) z% {( s; x8 u% l" U/ f: T$ J3 NThen the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.

Let's face it, English is a crazy language!
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There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.

) b# M6 w# v0 b0 R3 wAnd why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?
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8 R* I/ x9 v; ZDoesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?
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# B7 a% Z/ B. m( h+ s6 m$ qIf you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
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6 ]) [, }2 {0 r8 F# bIf teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
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* M# y5 l7 I9 X# W" ^In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
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6 y0 T) p' `! b0 Q2 J/ Y+ oShip by truck and send cargo by ship?

7 T: d* r$ L+ ^) D1 fHave noses that run and feet that smell?
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4 ^' k, K* F3 P& S4 K+ RHow can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

7 c2 L" p( n8 h( c) \9 qYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
  j" a% S% L% @! u& `House burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!
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Sometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane