Crazy English! Zt

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! V! q+ B% r0 dCrazy English!

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.
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One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
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! w- b1 b  `& g  q7 xYou may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
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1 U/ B- X5 W+ k* |! i+ RIf the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

. m, \' O4 V" a4 iIf I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?
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Then one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
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We speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.

3 W! z' e, A0 C+ pThen the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.

Let's face it, English is a crazy language!

/ ^  z0 ^# M% s0 l5 g4 ~( R$ YThere is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.
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+ _8 O, h, s$ d/ C; GAnd why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?

. d& ^$ s& Y/ o/ W$ u2 H; a% mDoesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?
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; Q/ }) C/ H/ j  O8 AIf you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

* A! X9 I- I) {4 n' r  F$ HIf a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
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In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
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Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?

Have noses that run and feet that smell?
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. Q$ d9 r' u* \( J* _; JHow can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
! r; s2 H9 Z* B0 W, [- OHouse burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!

Sometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane