 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
0 V) l/ B$ X |; p! ^% c; z$ n3 Y2 r2 u6 C3 c5 g
I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.' [* @: ^3 p- _- P% a3 m+ x
0 i l$ U2 c# j2 L/ W) hI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.: Y6 o$ u! Y8 H$ \( j
% b* {8 s- u6 l9 X' d7 i
I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
4 Y6 V7 y J" o. Z) @
0 X3 L3 {& R/ p3 S* L"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
4 [! O4 O$ L0 Q1 t) ~: H3 N
' E6 |* x$ ]: xI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?$ M3 F" ? V9 m9 i0 m$ Q# T
C7 {& r& j) S9 VAnd the second one was:' U- C, r5 N* b
7 ]8 ]7 h" j8 y2 K' S b) B; a"What's the 2nd Amendment?") u& V) B/ J$ ^
, k, P, f K8 j8 w! X EI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
& `1 l. d4 B; {7 q( Y1 R) U M, M
"What is Roe vs. Wade?" V f) V) l* V( I: \6 o
+ `- Y4 T5 {1 ]I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?/ g3 {7 A7 `" K0 h
0 A1 [8 k5 C) J# T& PI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
) m: V$ G" w$ V3 n% ~: l- p I1 R5 \8 p5 F5 e' y5 l+ Z; ?: g
I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen.", M' `5 s8 x v& A
4 }/ Q# r6 o' `' `1 w
So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
8 i( b3 ^7 e5 [/ P3 Q( H; S+ H, _1 `6 }$ T6 C' s0 n4 {
Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
0 u4 \7 ^% X3 M) Q" q. Z/ K6 Q6 j6 P$ h. g% o
This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.5 N5 F- v" D- |
1 W+ R; }# W* \7 y; D; ~* G" }
Thank you very much!
" `- \0 j6 q) k2 B# ]) ^- g6 g& ~" T
$ C- z" W* U3 I7 n/ f/ p+ O==========================2 D* F. p3 m- s
7 e, r @5 @4 u0 T
Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
: W w$ N5 ]- Y& G
% q+ f; J8 f9 x7 R; j6 a: e1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.# X: D5 `# X& h. ^0 q5 @
# k6 q7 Z! q# Y- z* Z: z2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
( A. c h/ S5 c! i
2 ~/ ^# P7 y2 k! }"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.) @/ p( v5 h2 e0 {/ f3 {1 U
' s0 J+ q4 |; U% y7 g6 q$ \4 l4 Z
Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
9 @4 S: e4 n' h# H* e. C( D1 Y( P3 ^- q
Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.5 u( J/ H" ^5 y% j; W
2 X0 \' o* y; | Y& I$ b# ? k: pThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
