 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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! Y6 _2 z0 S, f, U2 c) o3 vI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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7 I9 S+ A$ l2 h* S0 W"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?", s- m* B3 E" k# x; C
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?7 |0 Q( F3 L% [
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!) @0 Q: T- p8 r' n
$ ?) C5 [% w4 L8 |I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"5 X$ C' E3 N. _, ]9 E$ `
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.) H o1 G& M2 p! j
+ Y' a5 {+ M- J: _Thank you very much!
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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8 p& C) m% O6 \& i$ v7 A1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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p5 [6 O' `0 J5 R& W2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion., W$ U3 Y- V C Z9 @
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".' P$ ^- h, n* {6 @$ b
; T0 ]0 e6 i! L( b- ~) Q- c/ XRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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