 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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9 E4 C+ [1 G+ D, U: T- fI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:# n6 B& u" O4 F& b! q+ }
& [- I: W" e$ b8 T# @* ~: C9 m1 ["Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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6 m/ u8 N0 o9 ^" g6 ?I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?5 F# E) ~( c, Z2 k6 e3 h1 j
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And the second one was: s% y5 r; p6 }' Q1 u9 m5 |
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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. B8 v4 v$ w& W" HI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?" ^1 E# _2 A* B0 r1 M$ U, H
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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9 {9 @1 }; j0 g) w8 UI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!/ J) h& \- L% q- X1 r& L9 O
' f( f9 r5 A* Y, g5 k) GI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."' i6 w2 k q a* G3 _
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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* d6 ?/ ~" N2 w1 o$ i. r/ G0 eNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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; Z* T2 N' |1 N( ?, e. LThank you very much!+ x" J/ e# }: j2 M; V/ e
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% T: S% ^$ @& d. Z- V; r# gImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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) i# c0 g7 I( s2 K9 p/ u# b2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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( X9 N+ F1 m8 @"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
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发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
