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The Washington Post publishes a yearly contest in which readers are asked to invent alternate meanings for various words.
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6 }! Q N% d9 _: X! L, e( q5 A8 K- uThe following were some of this year’s winning entries: + n7 @, S& E( \6 t
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1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon. 9 m9 W- H2 u- [9 }# t( e
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2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have . 3 E* \2 T) J* m4 F! S5 ?
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3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. ) M5 w+ v& f, E9 y o2 T
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4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
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5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent ( o; M( l$ ^! f( |
% w' H( l# q- W% o0 Y2 W6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie.
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7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp. : C. i& r5 y6 @+ C( t
- C/ s1 s5 n- G" g8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavoured mouthwash.
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4 ^9 z1 K& z% o4 N% y9. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller. 7 f+ f3 z8 t6 S/ D/ i/ u
# I/ s5 |0 L6 Q5 |5 m0 c! ^10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline. ) T3 j( j I, @9 Q
/ G$ b9 [+ y( e! _11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
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3 Z0 u$ \( m% k" p" y12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanour assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.
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13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.
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14. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.
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5 L6 s, W1 |. W$ z15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there. ; F& v. ]- Q4 N; m$ `: v) U. f
* n" x$ ]# J, ^4 O ~16. Pokemon (n.), A Jamaican proctologist. |
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