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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:& ^- T% F/ {, ?8 Q3 K
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'. c: l4 ?+ ?% w9 r
6 L c; @, n' D+ X! H* F3 y2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush6 ~$ O2 ~, }% [ H
hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday" S* r& a% m3 c6 X+ z
morning.* n) w. B# i/ W0 N6 w3 i
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3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,+ S& e% i6 M. n& [/ ^) O
you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a# M* h: ]! S( {; K5 @. a$ ^" R
landing at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'./ v0 a( Q- x6 N/ @$ b+ Q3 j6 i9 ]1 \
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4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
% T, @+ D U0 L2 P9 xown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
+ _- D# ]/ p& X$ Q1 {6 \' mmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires3 R% n* n9 A6 @& B) Z9 C; E" o* M
go second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
/ [% J$ h% P* s' }: e- iphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.1 y: z% ?; m7 `$ f8 w" t
8 l1 r. z. H* V4 ]4 s5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
% U" }0 Z3 I) Zcussed out, and possibly shot.3 b0 o% g' }+ i% ]! D3 |8 I7 G
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6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
! t: g; o5 s" ^: X6 E: {* Y. lget you shot.
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+ U$ W' R6 i' l) \5 l7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that
8 P% U5 Y) d, g: K Zhas turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
_5 x3 X5 p- J* t, zthe intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
; j) Z: Y& ~& n4 nyou as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first
8 g8 i( J9 w" ovehicle through the intersection.% n9 P; J1 G( Z' s/ s
: ?3 ^& F, v: U, p/ a" _* d& v8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour; |1 |8 r5 U! ^) L% V
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next4 h7 S# {# A3 U7 m
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
. J2 j! m) r5 H& [- {" g5 ^# ~more construction starts everyday.
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9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
7 ]$ t ?: z8 \" w5 x. F9 b9 Ndeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,3 T$ C6 m, b2 l
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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- w* E* I+ A0 d" N10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same- J) m4 A2 l& S& W- y2 g
road. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye u# c1 A' D) x$ E
Road are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and0 _. z" e) h; m t. ?/ L
66 Street are also the same road; got it?
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+ L. E. \, |8 h+ Z11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
L/ H$ E6 K5 f6 S! Xshoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally
+ J* v7 `( x, U# @% }Activated.'
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12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
. v% J, [7 X Pyou are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
0 ~7 S" b5 }+ L7 j5 X% G% z) caccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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5 i" q3 R8 g. P4 k13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur9 m6 a! b, O4 w
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
) U. ]- z. m2 R) u8 q$ ?/ eblankets in the vehicle. |
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发表于 2010-2-16 12:01
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发表于 2010-2-16 22:55
