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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.
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0 h0 {! c$ H M' v$ a# n3 A2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush
/ @. o) N \/ C) f6 |' mhour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday8 t& x5 ^6 B6 N
morning.# w3 b. n8 c/ C4 ?* H
* \( R6 \5 `; R3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
g& W k. O0 J1 R7 a" B, ?4 fyou are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a- E, ^/ W g7 k3 i0 w, E% [3 T. G
landing at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'. B d# m$ v, ?$ I
6 x3 d( |2 N/ @4 R4 q4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its+ @: E/ D4 F6 N3 _! O+ v
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest7 e W" t+ K6 `7 d: M6 w
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires+ x$ s) L5 g4 \1 o; Y
go second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell( g) q* `7 `7 z6 W! E
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way." k3 c* [1 i. p# C1 F: r8 c% x8 |
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5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
9 T; w* `0 W8 e, p# vcussed out, and possibly shot.; M6 ^9 M3 R9 V! ~( Q( ]1 m" \
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6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
1 K# D) K, _; V7 ~$ W8 H" C3 _7 ^get you shot., G; N, Z0 t) M& U8 T. B3 _8 f
9 N4 Q' v' v8 r+ \3 R4 z7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that
7 N, D: {# S# i* a2 @+ Shas turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
2 {0 e3 o5 l; V4 H: {# A- _3 P, ]the intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
4 R o1 p1 B2 N9 n5 b' h' m* Wyou as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first, d- N. p9 L5 g" D
vehicle through the intersection.
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8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour! b9 V; a+ {( A% N9 ^
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
$ x& b3 i- H! D! k- X! cday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
4 I9 i+ ], k6 o2 Mmore construction starts everyday.1 {4 s6 B- X6 {8 o# ~! L# z, _
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9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
7 K. {3 e& x4 _/ y2 z, }/ ^deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
! O! _+ l- f$ P' M2 G- |squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
# o6 B% x( v) b! groad. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye B3 B6 \1 j; n: O
Road are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and
, n t: Q9 i4 r% Q66 Street are also the same road; got it?9 @0 o7 R# u9 d8 q9 v7 W
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11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the1 Q' V( w) \1 h$ v
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally: K" |; S: ~1 c3 Y+ W) H
Activated.'
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12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,# i2 O8 G4 c6 {$ {" O% T
you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
+ h3 B8 N% f2 h- i* ^9 saccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot., s8 n1 e/ H- y- Y6 c( r
( n& _# D& |$ _! u" l+ h6 l0 Z1 V13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
1 `: |( U" E8 }; P6 L5 clined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and5 b% g* {3 w9 w' o
blankets in the vehicle. |
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发表于 2010-2-16 12:01
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发表于 2010-2-16 22:55
