 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
0 R( L/ a. w8 R8 q$ h" k. q+ C请注意，以下序号都是1不是误写- z6 b' a( U) n( O( j: D
# u B) t: B' \1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
r- l7 R3 s$ f& e0 R1，男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫2 m- P0 x. F6 s7 T$ v- U
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it# M# R& {) u# c; p; }
down.
% o) N8 n5 }+ ]: f: T9 M8 P% wWe need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
% j7 y+ o6 A) Cyou
" K- N, ~) e5 I1 [6 [leaving it down.
# n& ?% z: z9 w0 R1，学会使用马桶盖，你是个大姑娘了，马桶盖要是翻起来了，你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来，你们需要放下去，你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去？
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7 j5 ^ f; Y& d+ K1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
& U0 b9 F3 m6 ^- a* i5 F" M bLet it be.
; G$ _" D# [6 g1，周日的体育，无论它像满月还是潮汐，随他去6 K6 Q- q8 o5 l4 x/ Z
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1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it- [# p* r; M% d! K5 Z9 f0 Y
that way.1 r8 }) k- ^$ \, w& w3 {3 P/ }& [4 A
1，购物不是体育。不，也别指望我们能那么想！
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1. Crying is blackmail.
) A! p( S4 z( \3 Y1，哭泣是敲诈: T" u; y: x* i, ^" R5 d G6 N, Y
/ B2 I. w4 d* r* o. B1. Ask for what you want.
! B6 {/ c! F" A8 b4 P; r9 W5 ALet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!1 s) b) @# w5 `1 a
Strong hints do not work!+ M! e% y& r* i2 i! o+ G8 I3 r
Obvious hints do not work!
/ k6 v( L( \( E( X$ EJust say it!$ L* h, u/ |1 ~' u# m* s! Y/ F+ K
1，你想要什么就说8 _# q/ ]0 ^- x( O* s' T# {
我们再说得清楚点，小暗示不管用，强烈按时不管用，明显的暗示也不管用！想干吗你明说！& z# u5 U) @& Y* x6 u
9 u1 L! K. p5 F i i/ k0 E1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every
8 V9 Q- q/ Z8 h$ D* Y; o+ oquestion.
; E" O9 H8 ^' J; L% p' Z1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 （意思是，丈夫仅仅说是，不是，妻子不满意）3 N# L' T( @- a P3 t
' n% `8 ^2 Y* {: Z1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's; L5 p1 V( r" Q9 e) I9 l+ S! T
what we do.
" _" J6 y# `7 [0 e5 l/ I9 a5 eSympathy is what your girlfriends are for.1 O; u6 C. C' t9 }$ ]
1，如果你有麻烦，可以来找我们帮助解决，可是不要仅仅为了获取同情，那是你们女朋友的责任。
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1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.% A6 Z$ a$ x. w9 K7 Z; s$ N
1，你要是头疼了17个月，那你应该看医生去' q2 i8 O2 h0 m# Z! G& u) O0 L
4 r) e1 X: ]9 o; \' Q3 ~1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
/ t1 `; \; l2 N' h4 Y: VIn fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days. l; z) M' _+ Z, n: ?! m3 w; s
我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及，事实上，我们说的话7天后就作废了
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us
2 f/ e) U5 b- Qto act like soap opera guys.
! K: D. y0 b) x. M/ s$ k1，如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密（性感品牌）的女孩子们，那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们
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1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.& ^2 X( {# _* T& t
1，你要是觉得你胖，那你八成就胖，别问我们
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1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
0 I$ M0 Z! V8 z- {- f6 h: mmakes you sad or angry, we meant the other one." \0 c: K8 y* [2 N) S
1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思，而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒，那么我们本来是另一种意思。
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1 m8 T! ]$ F' @* S, N- t1 |（谁有工夫继续一下，谢谢）7 N( R! K o# @, ^" ^
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it2 H% K6 Y0 w7 e8 w d# P: M
done. Not both.' y- {/ g) ]2 D2 x- [5 S( r& ~
If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.. ?* ~) k! ^: E
- [- W! p: a$ O4 `6 u0 t0 C1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during# Q) T: k8 b( G9 O$ X, N4 C1 l
commercials.
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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.% G4 C4 n8 g1 B. r1 s- Y
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.5 L5 K* ^& F9 ?8 k @6 `8 e' [
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.. C/ E9 X$ o& u: B2 y* U! G1 A
We have no idea what mauve is.- [) Z! B1 G$ }: n' y2 k
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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.+ Y; d ^; V# R8 U6 B, s' r m* D
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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like8 f* B" u7 |0 Y
nothing's wrong.* {6 @" R2 c& ~' N
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.7 N( ~, l g; H. M+ Z" V+ Q
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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
5 `$ B; U( n. z" V$ J% C5 O Qyou don't want to hear.% j, p: @1 s) H. x* r! D* J
1 }! H( Q% m1 k& A/ ]8 U1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is
' T5 @7 [* F1 a: ~fine...Really.' s: D' F4 z7 Z3 }0 q
8 X) ~ Q: [1 f5 i! t1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to1 ~6 n4 G- F( X8 d( L& S7 B8 K
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.* t( M& ~$ s5 U0 ?
. O! D! g% ~# r3 B( a1. You have enough clothes.
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6 v& ^' A! ]3 t2 d9 O2 g* \9 r1. You have too many shoes.; w6 o1 A1 X2 d
* E0 M' V: O& [. ^" t5 k1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!# C Q9 d+ l7 C$ F. D2 m
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1. Thank you for reading this.( M; s( c5 g. ?7 d' H
" T5 p8 }) x$ ^3 W. RYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;% X! P- m! ~; q, h& w* K
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.0 `, ?) _; Y O5 M3 u$ o2 W
# m9 f7 I- f$ z5 S) U- ?3 CPass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
7 E6 P+ H8 ~; Y4 APass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05
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发表于 2005-11-11 13:06
楼主
发表于 2005-11-11 16:47
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