 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!& K+ }7 U3 l' I# B$ _7 v
请注意，以下序号都是1不是误写. i5 t$ c+ E5 r) w6 B
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1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
. B. b4 f& {% }2 p8 ^# j" h$ t1，男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫; @" I: y; x, `+ Z0 n; r, ^
7 O$ W' i# l; t. v* A) ?1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it" s/ D+ z. t$ o5 X% Y' S9 }
down.1 j1 {6 R( w+ \6 l4 H) Q" n
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about ! b) d' G" S* X# `
you
) @ C( W' h% L# Dleaving it down.6 U7 d5 U1 B# d
1，学会使用马桶盖，你是个大姑娘了，马桶盖要是翻起来了，你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来，你们需要放下去，你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去？! s; L* R* j+ ~
2 F. z- G6 t8 Q: {& E( j1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
1 {: J8 S# R+ o" c3 g& J" \Let it be.
1 H* ]/ _0 \4 @+ c1，周日的体育，无论它像满月还是潮汐，随他去/ y" d: j3 P/ K: l/ E" I' j6 p* W' ~
6 v7 Y1 A, u! F& q0 J, S+ b1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it! Z0 K1 N4 `8 g0 t7 I- J
that way.
+ E% i: \" _ P1，购物不是体育。不，也别指望我们能那么想！
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1. Crying is blackmail.. z \, ?6 ]. Q) z
1，哭泣是敲诈
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1. Ask for what you want.9 E/ K. Q, M8 \$ z/ m0 q
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!! c8 q: Z f1 S7 T2 m1 K9 E
Strong hints do not work!8 A7 x# |7 E, t# L$ j% @9 w5 _
Obvious hints do not work!
: ^/ ]( d- b1 m, BJust say it!
4 ^+ ?! L( K$ Y1，你想要什么就说
2 j7 ^" m4 c# u# U$ I我们再说得清楚点，小暗示不管用，强烈按时不管用，明显的暗示也不管用！想干吗你明说！
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8 y$ L& Z2 {1 A! [' L1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every
/ P5 x) G4 [9 uquestion.
) P' }! Z1 V Z- B1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 （意思是，丈夫仅仅说是，不是，妻子不满意）
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5 E0 a7 s" {7 e' I1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's) F3 Q5 M& r$ R# v. V$ l3 z
what we do.
, X- t2 d# L/ n% BSympathy is what your girlfriends are for.( W B4 K7 l( _* p1 p
1，如果你有麻烦，可以来找我们帮助解决，可是不要仅仅为了获取同情，那是你们女朋友的责任。
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1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
! H' j+ [5 `8 l' U8 Q9 }+ B& S1，你要是头疼了17个月，那你应该看医生去' T/ }: z0 Z4 P$ s
2 \- v$ x# F5 Y; o3 b1 B1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.* g p, u K; _- p
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.* M# J( W6 E9 k6 V0 g7 l0 q
我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及，事实上，我们说的话7天后就作废了2 p- K, P1 O: _( |
9 [' c1 O+ M0 h& U3 c1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us
; M9 q& t9 L3 [/ ]to act like soap opera guys.
) M+ q8 C, \& @1 y1，如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密（性感品牌）的女孩子们，那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们
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1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
( |- l7 o1 S! Y) G, ]4 F1，你要是觉得你胖，那你八成就胖，别问我们( u1 ~3 B, \9 i \1 |+ Y
* P$ b& M9 V& l. }9 [* n1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways5 z Z* ^9 g5 F
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
6 q) M `& C! T1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思，而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒，那么我们本来是另一种意思。
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8 K8 |: F; k+ R1 h5 V: Z（谁有工夫继续一下，谢谢）
; B1 T' T f/ N R$ M4 {% C; J) O* ^; L! ~1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it6 r2 B: e! A6 u( I, C5 f
done. Not both.
1 H$ K U9 g, Q0 _2 gIf you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.
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; m; }0 ]% v- w" Z7 B+ i4 S1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during9 Z( q& }4 B: Z! Y. U
commercials.
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$ a) R4 K0 t! K* s. C1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.$ a) G( z! ]& N( F
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
4 o8 m) r1 j4 P4 vWe have no idea what mauve is.
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2 [+ x& Y: P) {; O# K# q' ~1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that." |' I8 k; u& E3 H4 C6 i8 |
1 R9 m* P7 p9 M3 b: Y" e/ v- Z1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
, i. O4 Q! R/ t7 q4 a( O# ^nothing's wrong.
# b6 p K5 m s6 x* BWe know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle., q5 d9 k/ R! @+ {
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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
$ b) f3 c8 b- T" fyou don't want to hear.8 M/ G8 v x0 z) e; B4 u" n$ }) L
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1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is
" @. M, m1 d, C* J2 @2 ?& Jfine...Really.$ f' c: p; Y s, g2 O5 Y
/ U! S# n; G7 i- G: M% X8 h, Q1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
) K! f1 a7 h; |1 k6 p$ K& Zdiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.6 X) H1 X/ E6 l- z
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1. You have enough clothes.9 P; Y5 s: J% S ?9 \1 ?
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1. You have too many shoes.
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1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!, F1 U- L, V& {9 e
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1. Thank you for reading this.
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; N3 S6 M% ?( b! r* N) }& HYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
* n% y4 \5 e: v+ w4 PBut did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.6 P8 ?! M* A( H* |
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05
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发表于 2005-11-11 13:06
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发表于 2005-11-11 16:47
