In the garden of my heart

Dawson

听《All I want to do...》有感，涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑，见笑！
+ u4 a, E/ s& t1 |/ Q4 M& ]$ ~; Y" K
In the garden of my heart
. }; h0 \5 Q' E. K9 r8 A6 UYou planted a tree
From sunset til dawn
Through darkness to light
Nourished with my soul
- o$ c( @* [0 g  z' E8 a: P; DDevoured my sorrow by thee
. o9 k; _9 k4 N; i+ \2 ?
In the memory of my life
( M: c- M2 W7 @5 jYou planted a dream
: i# a$ q7 g; Z/ _- t% Z4 L# g$ LShould the sky fall down on me
May promises fade in the sea
3 V* a' j8 x" X9 P; OSewing back every broken pieces
Bursting the love out of me

[mu]http://penguin.spss.sd59.bc.ca/~mqiu/images/without.mp3[/mu]

云山水月

原帖由 Dawson 于 2006-6-25 01:05 发表
听《All I want to do...》有感，涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑，见笑！
0 X9 s/ M$ w4 i
0 L5 o  W' B/ G+ u5 p( w8 AIn the garden of my heart
9 D8 q8 `7 \3 p" D& BYou planted a tree
From sunset til dawn
Through darkness to light
4 L7 b' p  S& z% QNourished with my soul
Devoured my so ...

& y% h; ~$ {: q' {- v) A
眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧？

写得真好。
7 `8 T: M+ v/ ^4 k5 ?
9 \6 p' r1 z$ a+ k" S1 p% K. Y加精加精！

Greatwall

哥们儿，你没喝多吧？没事就过来烧烟啊！

九月

汗！居然有２单词不认识。：（

Justing

原帖由 云山水月 于 2006-6-25 01:08 发表
$ c1 \4 @; k: O4 }& p% T眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧？
写得真好。
加精加精！

+ _( w) H% |4 R  M( Q9 Z& w) n& a( I" M8 f我曾在本版也发过一首英文诗

五月

如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下，在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。

微澜

原帖由 五月 于 2006-6-25 05:31 发表
% L7 X' Q' ]! b2 I9 N. }- f  Y如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下，在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。

五月JJ这个意境，想想实在是罗曼蒂克，不过在爱屯，海天相接是没有了，只有在湖畔雪山了：）

朱顺顺

Should the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.

2 x, s; r( Q- J8 ?! ]/ HSewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.

Dawson

原帖由 红岫添乱 于 2006-6-29 11:06 发表
; ~) o2 L! T; VShould the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.
0 ]& J/ `1 N6 L
; W' c0 w" z1 M8 c8 wSewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.

8 z0 `& P; L* m/ _6 ^1 Z% yThanks for your insightful comment, however I have to disagree with what you said.

1) Sky falls down on sb. is a very common phrase or idom that's been used in a lot of occasions, meaning end of the world. For example, it was used in Savage Garden's song "truly deeply madly".
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2) Every broken pieces, hmmm, again broken pieces is a phrase, I know grammar wise it looks awkard, but that "S" at the end puts a nice rythem to the poem.

月光宝盒

红岫添乱 这喜滋滋的头像虽很农民，但很喜气！很有乐在其中的意境啊！

FCUK

thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。
* O8 T* l: ]  N
+ v2 Z. O$ w; oShall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

五月

原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
. S7 X8 Y% ]: q9 S% F: O+ I7 Fthee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。
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Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

诗歌, 重在意境和语感, 没有那么严格教条的语法要求吧.

Dawson

原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。

Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

' n! w9 B+ O& e' F" K* C有啊，有很多经典的例子。
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/ @5 k' r& m( C4 C/ _比如Sharon A. Bryington那首著名的《While Waiting For Thee》
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Don't weep at my grave
+ E4 e6 l/ k# c  \6 A2 {, P0 N7 dFor I am not there,
/ C6 D) e3 L' e- z( iI've a date with a butterfly
To dance on the air.
" h6 ^) p' m' y- w( d( e* YIf I'm missed, find a flower,
7 s! q2 h' ~$ q( E. ^: g3 sI'll be there too,
Sniffing it's fragrance
9 c2 ~$ A9 c5 W: S  @0 _0 kRight next to you.

Don't be sad
  q# `& C$ j2 ]" R2 N& u: MWhen you remember me,
* [( d8 c+ G8 MFor I'm singing in the sunshine,
Wild and free,
Flirting with the lighting,
9 Z( M; v0 Z3 c/ tPlaying tag with the wind,
+ }4 F( P" w* k6 S1 k2 i! nChasing the thunder
3 U8 F( k- e0 `Time and again,
$ z* j; N4 a# v) d, E: }! ESoaring with the eagle,
5 C) S0 I$ l$ C% v. U# _' F' `# U5 g/ PSwimming in the sea,
Enjoying all of nature
While I'm waiting for thee.