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In the garden of my heart

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发表于 2006-6-25 01:05 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
听《All I want to do...》有感,涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑,见笑!
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: X% ^- z7 D$ a5 PIn the garden of my heart
1 X& t" y% G. F: }$ L; Z+ }  @You planted a tree
7 n4 N+ t& O8 i$ ^8 L! `( ]) zFrom sunset til dawn
7 L' y. }% b% J% c& n, lThrough darkness to light# y& A+ m9 @7 V& I
Nourished with my soul
: Y. N. z1 h5 `/ e( d3 ~Devoured my sorrow by thee
/ P4 S6 Y$ P$ d/ \* L" K% j
$ j; g4 z& @# C5 F; p0 s" KIn the memory of my life
8 O+ {) T! n0 ^  uYou planted a dream
7 n  o( y6 B, Z; k8 |' e; _$ U* |Should the sky fall down on me
' H& w, C: C; s9 x' \/ Z6 R: jMay promises fade in the sea
" h9 O8 }) o1 y: w4 i& |Sewing back every broken pieces
6 v5 x7 l+ h  ^. X+ kBursting the love out of me
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- E2 _1 d3 {7 J0 X[mu]http://penguin.spss.sd59.bc.ca/~mqiu/images/without.mp3[/mu]
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发表于 2006-6-25 01:08 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 Dawson 于 2006-6-25 01:05 发表
; ?- W6 u- X9 G& ?: I$ ?( P  O听《All I want to do...》有感,涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑,见笑!
0 O  C4 J' j" S. V) ?$ u# B
" ~# C6 h* r& r4 `! u2 rIn the garden of my heart
- C) I3 I: F* D2 oYou planted a tree
8 h  q. b, t3 NFrom sunset til dawn3 r5 `4 A+ [' h# {: X" s5 i
Through darkness to light
- D7 L1 X$ `% u# L6 [8 s/ ANourished with my soul. v' Y8 ~, E# Y
Devoured my so ...
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眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧?
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写得真好。1 g7 H6 F5 e+ r" T) q& a9 O
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加精加精!
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发表于 2006-6-25 01:20 | 显示全部楼层
哥们儿,你没喝多吧?没事就过来烧烟啊!
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发表于 2006-6-25 01:26 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
汗!居然有2单词不认识。:(
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发表于 2006-6-25 03:41 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 云山水月 于 2006-6-25 01:08 发表
+ M! x6 X' }( Q8 z眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧?
1 a- {* K! ~$ K1 o写得真好。
, l% ~& x2 M3 O# w加精加精!
. K6 n1 ~! R7 _
我曾在本版也发过一首英文诗
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发表于 2006-6-25 05:31 | 显示全部楼层
如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下,在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。
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发表于 2006-6-29 09:57 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 五月 于 2006-6-25 05:31 发表$ f3 c7 V! ~$ W$ w, g
如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下,在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。
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五月JJ这个意境,想想实在是罗曼蒂克,不过在爱屯,海天相接是没有了,只有在湖畔雪山了:)
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发表于 2006-6-29 11:06 | 显示全部楼层
Should the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.1 ^% f3 m+ ^! ?7 C1 n1 }

8 s! N8 _- Y% @) i5 }Sewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.
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 楼主| 发表于 2006-6-29 18:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 红岫添乱 于 2006-6-29 11:06 发表
; T& ~# L2 q# V3 \( YShould the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.- Q4 E5 E0 I: t! V- u& @" e
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Sewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.

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Thanks for your insightful comment, however I have to disagree with what you said.
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1) Sky falls down on sb. is a very common phrase or idom that's been used in a lot of occasions, meaning end of the world. For example, it was used in Savage Garden's song "truly deeply madly".
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2) Every broken pieces, hmmm, again broken pieces is a phrase, I know grammar wise it looks awkard, but that "S" at the end puts a nice rythem to the poem.
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发表于 2006-6-30 01:17 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
红岫添乱 这喜滋滋的头像虽很农民,但很喜气!很有乐在其中的意境啊!
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发表于 2006-7-2 10:50 | 显示全部楼层
thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。+ }/ ^2 J0 p9 [9 J' D+ E( f# |

/ `. c2 l! m- q: G4 fShall I compare thee to a Summer's day?
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发表于 2006-7-2 13:50 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表' J1 F% {7 o" S( ^3 @) [, z
thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。/ l% o, g( B/ d7 I0 C

5 ]5 I6 R1 H. lShall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

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' p6 B2 a  ]& m( }8 c4 B. J; p诗歌, 重在意境和语感, 没有那么严格教条的语法要求吧.
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 楼主| 发表于 2006-7-2 13:56 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表3 g6 B6 {( B, f/ j7 {8 ^
thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。
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Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

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* k6 S6 `2 k, k# W有啊,有很多经典的例子。
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比如Sharon A. Bryington那首著名的《While Waiting For Thee》
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% L9 w. g$ z/ y& T5 e9 v+ o7 |Don't weep at my grave
# a) h( @3 p5 {* HFor I am not there,
7 ], L7 u( n9 n( I! N: G6 J% FI've a date with a butterfly% X5 m8 K1 S% o' ~( t
To dance on the air.
% q+ Y5 Y9 v. W# o  V1 DIf I'm missed, find a flower,; `; X5 f( b# `2 u5 }; x
I'll be there too,$ i: r9 a/ L6 b. s2 X5 s) e& R) b" [
Sniffing it's fragrance- ~3 ]3 G, ?8 N7 M- B4 T- `
Right next to you./ m: b  w. g0 Z8 R8 _
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Don't be sad: n" x! m. R* b+ {- z9 }. Y- S2 _
When you remember me,
% w. o5 Z' z: ]! f. T, {# ^6 qFor I'm singing in the sunshine,
9 h7 |7 m" y: z# Y" iWild and free,1 p* N& K4 x1 S4 k6 x( Q
Flirting with the lighting,' A$ S, y- w" P) A' z( _
Playing tag with the wind,
# K) z* a' l- z7 E! t# p' EChasing the thunder! `, R7 b# p4 k9 F1 m3 J* O+ p) |- x
Time and again,
. w1 \) }! n! T2 |" u5 Y& ~Soaring with the eagle,
5 ?! C0 d/ A9 X% {% ?5 pSwimming in the sea,
2 M  ^4 Y5 ~% J: L3 Z3 tEnjoying all of nature8 _# P" E; H) N2 d7 A8 P$ X* R
While I'm waiting for thee.
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