In the garden of my heart

Dawson

听《All I want to do...》有感，涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑，见笑！
+ Q' h& A5 Y  \* c) Q& c
In the garden of my heart
You planted a tree
$ }  ~( {: c& `& A9 nFrom sunset til dawn
Through darkness to light
Nourished with my soul
4 k& S: s" Z5 J3 BDevoured my sorrow by thee

In the memory of my life
You planted a dream
Should the sky fall down on me
) z! Y) T" d- q5 l: a" d, ]% ]- z1 JMay promises fade in the sea
Sewing back every broken pieces
Bursting the love out of me
- z7 K. G1 q4 Q3 M& E' M3 c) K  ~5 D
% q" [. Z8 D7 U) d( T[mu]http://penguin.spss.sd59.bc.ca/~mqiu/images/without.mp3[/mu]

云山水月

原帖由 Dawson 于 2006-6-25 01:05 发表
听《All I want to do...》有感，涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑，见笑！
2 b6 v3 z6 J9 d  O
. _+ }# Q3 q; F% W6 J3 WIn the garden of my heart
You planted a tree
- E* O: P! b" e% qFrom sunset til dawn
+ R2 |8 k) e3 s) z( i& LThrough darkness to light
4 V9 U1 P7 j. \Nourished with my soul
Devoured my so ...

# W3 Z* y7 W+ W# u) p
眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧？

写得真好。

加精加精！

Greatwall

哥们儿，你没喝多吧？没事就过来烧烟啊！

九月

汗！居然有２单词不认识。：（

Justing

原帖由 云山水月 于 2006-6-25 01:08 发表
& K& O6 q6 w3 k# C# u# `' ~, ?1 }眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧？
, ~# O" A. t6 Y& S+ f写得真好。
加精加精！

1 L( t8 Z9 e& U* w% Y, G7 ~我曾在本版也发过一首英文诗

五月

如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下，在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。

微澜

原帖由 五月 于 2006-6-25 05:31 发表
' O, H- Q2 k0 G# E6 F如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下，在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。

五月JJ这个意境，想想实在是罗曼蒂克，不过在爱屯，海天相接是没有了，只有在湖畔雪山了：）

朱顺顺

Should the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.
, G* A. Q1 L/ {) m. |
: l* E/ Q# N1 y* L9 h8 O; _/ c6 nSewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.

Dawson

原帖由 红岫添乱 于 2006-6-29 11:06 发表
8 N0 l0 x+ B, p5 ?Should the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.

% `5 Q) b: _, j9 a' ?% oSewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.

Thanks for your insightful comment, however I have to disagree with what you said.

1) Sky falls down on sb. is a very common phrase or idom that's been used in a lot of occasions, meaning end of the world. For example, it was used in Savage Garden's song "truly deeply madly".

2) Every broken pieces, hmmm, again broken pieces is a phrase, I know grammar wise it looks awkard, but that "S" at the end puts a nice rythem to the poem.

月光宝盒

红岫添乱 这喜滋滋的头像虽很农民，但很喜气！很有乐在其中的意境啊！

FCUK

thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。

Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

五月

原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
6 G0 G9 N( L9 h6 [' L) w" \1 Tthee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。

Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

5 Y/ i% L( A, m( ^
诗歌, 重在意境和语感, 没有那么严格教条的语法要求吧.

Dawson

原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
1 O) R/ k" Y& Xthee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。
* v3 {1 X  U( C- N3 y' m' `
Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

* U2 C( w- o' `
有啊，有很多经典的例子。

; k" \5 q9 o$ w/ R# a( q比如Sharon A. Bryington那首著名的《While Waiting For Thee》

Don't weep at my grave
& I4 H8 u" D7 E4 l( {For I am not there,
( M4 c( w3 p) ^- i/ I# Z9 mI've a date with a butterfly
To dance on the air.
If I'm missed, find a flower,
I'll be there too,
Sniffing it's fragrance
  c  ~4 @; ?: v) q$ k% v( b( yRight next to you.

4 b( J; N! h; h% x$ VDon't be sad
When you remember me,
For I'm singing in the sunshine,
Wild and free,
Flirting with the lighting,
Playing tag with the wind,
# K' [3 }, B7 G3 v5 _- m! b/ MChasing the thunder
, ^) a) c2 ?; Z4 J7 Z" h+ O! z3 Q; YTime and again,
Soaring with the eagle,
2 b: J, y7 ~  Q0 ZSwimming in the sea,
  v0 S" V% J8 \7 REnjoying all of nature
While I'm waiting for thee.