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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA
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1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math.
6 O# u7 r: y% N$ P8 Q! }7 @7 b2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown. ; R8 K+ k" ~1 g' I
3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations. - y" t8 ?1 E% ?- f
4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA * e4 n3 `# o, [' N
4 B0 \& k7 R- t1. Big rock between you and B.C. 1 w" h, a' W" ?$ I
2. Ottawa who?$ W8 G% |7 K1 X8 N3 _* \
3. Tax is 6% instead of approximately 20% as it is for the rest of the country.
! R( M: K( ?0 |3 K) v. L4 h; ^4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of. 0 K' A. `, E/ j1 ~5 w# z
5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country. # h4 ?, D4 {/ i4 {: X" C! _0 e* x
6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups. 8 m$ D+ a$ s8 v' p# f
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* u* O, n3 i: a; a3 bTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN 8 X5 c% P7 |( u& F# E
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1. You never run out of wheat. ) {# l1 P. I& _' K, m' `
2. Your province is really easy to draw. 1 y2 v% J0 P, t/ \! e
3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours. ( i, n4 u# }! l+ B+ K+ O2 d
4. People will assume you live on a farm.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA . }) G W T2 k( G! C
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1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property.
% c2 z% b6 P% d3 q2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes. ( @+ e4 m: J) H/ P) j$ `
3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter. ?3 C0 q, e8 b4 m ?
4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood.
" W1 v' F4 Q; b2 r% d; b5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by. 5 y0 S# q6 f6 S
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0 z. x# D2 x- M. ]: n1 ZTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO
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7 n! X; B' n- y8 F, _9 z6 \1. You live in the centre of the universe. . p" M* I ]$ W2 x" i
2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump.
, d2 i1 R3 f! Z3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election.
* B9 ~% i. P6 Q7 N+ ]6 B4 w4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime. 3 r! y8 L( Q! g/ |; ^
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& l# }. q1 Z" n4 x7 a! [; y3 mTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC : X$ C% n7 N8 N( E: a9 h
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1. Racism is socially acceptable 9 n% }2 V) r8 m3 D) P9 C6 h
2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next. / O; @; h" j& U
3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada.
1 b/ Q+ }+ X1 a: u4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo *' E; f5 P9 w4 F' Q& P }( F
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK 8 l8 q& r" J+ |* S8 e
$ ^- a6 R5 } C: u$ kTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK ' Q$ U* L0 p# y& ? n. Y! O
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1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income. 4 F. n |& G/ ?8 r# Q- y; s
2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies. , N2 I" ^* T" Y1 N5 F% _- c
3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick 4 P4 m: R9 Q$ |- M
4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse. 6 V4 Y( q* J) t
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA 8 B2 T2 u, Q5 q% e% L
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1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can. $ i ~ C+ H1 e1 c
2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt. ( p" |( X$ {8 O& A. d% g7 Q, E( u9 m8 F
3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money. W3 _0 V$ ~& F5 c
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND / ?7 f1 ^0 C2 ]4 ]3 c4 d
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1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge. 0 l7 O3 d+ K& w( ^1 Q. H
2. You can walk across the province in half an hour.
. C7 k4 W1 k/ M( x3. You can drive across the province in two minutes.
4 J0 [, Z/ x' x4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea." 9 s3 {& C. ]* p M; g; ]
5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from.
' R2 \; E- r* Z" J0 D% y6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night. # O6 l) V5 E) ^* |
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8 |8 G6 u5 [. `* ]TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND
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1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea. : R( T7 ?! ~" w; p
2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse.
G5 H3 N, e/ z) k. X i2 ]; j3. The workday is about two hours long. - q; z. \0 O3 O9 z. U0 {( T& u
4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding |
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