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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA
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1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math.
. k( S% z; g' r6 z: U& N8 f3 u2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown. 5 z2 @% [; G5 R4 t8 V* @
3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations.
: }' l" r; V) a) G- g4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA E1 b; K. _ d+ M8 P! O
5 s5 a& m4 J# I w2 Q A6 o1. Big rock between you and B.C.
3 Y- w- S6 H0 C- j7 h2 w2. Ottawa who?
- Z7 A& T7 b) s5 K3 m3. Tax is 6% instead of approximately 20% as it is for the rest of the country. - M) j* t: I; A8 ~ V
4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of.
" |2 c2 K4 U5 d+ j5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country. , W" `: b% u% J4 J
6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups.
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+ K( a/ ~( t/ E7 ?TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN
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: B# \1 b) K, @8 t1. You never run out of wheat. 9 }4 Y' z" S4 E5 z* G. @+ {
2. Your province is really easy to draw. & f# a% Z3 w( x2 _6 s9 j
3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours.
2 d' W; \# B" d2 X; \: B" B4. People will assume you live on a farm. * }7 }: f( G5 x( h4 Y0 d& `
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA 8 |6 N( }( e2 `2 x1 V
% a* h: w' p! Q. ?4 z2 l1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property.
) j6 v" ?3 P% q! t0 \% s2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes.
$ ^( D, {% S" Q& V6 n# Q+ e3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter. 0 v, {+ r; F! E( w
4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood. 3 B$ \$ H8 T3 j" f1 S2 o
5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by. 2 t) P/ m! q! w. f
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/ B" T+ \5 H5 q2 CTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO
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" c! A" l( W0 I5 P1. You live in the centre of the universe. 3 @& L) T# o, J; l& U
2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump.
$ M5 G a+ J: H% E3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election.
8 R k9 C7 Z9 F, ?# c# i- R4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC 8 A$ O. y' S) N( B2 l
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1. Racism is socially acceptable 9 V7 e* J4 \& s3 v' K' }! Z
2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next. " Q+ K! R. H4 c' t5 ~
3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada. & I |1 C, n$ w1 Y
4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo *
0 T3 K' h6 A, u" }0 A! i VTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income. $ V! V5 T% q- D0 ]: R7 n$ b, c: w
2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies.
- Y4 e! K5 c- ^- `1 r3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick ( ~! T7 J: K4 o# q: D
4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse. 9 D- C: z) |3 g$ c9 l
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+ `2 d" a9 V. r9 _* u4 P" B' LTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA
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1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can.
% C: G$ D/ n8 K0 L1 D! N2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt. 1 t5 |/ A7 H3 p) ?1 m
3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND 8 h' G3 N1 p9 M8 b; H; _, K
0 ^* z5 s8 {: Q" ^; E1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge.
; O* S8 b, Q' v% V6 ~* ?2. You can walk across the province in half an hour.
( n- u7 Z& V: u! ^ R9 h3. You can drive across the province in two minutes.
, \1 ?! N8 E- u! @4 ^4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea."
5 X) Y( A* i u3 j- ~, C5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from.
3 n9 U# | z# K2 r( i* G6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night. # i; Q J6 U0 [1 e/ U0 H' T
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND
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1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea.
0 Z) o9 j0 e" o. e- P2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse. $ \& P0 `& n; J* l1 X8 ]
3. The workday is about two hours long.
! b8 W. U0 n6 b4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding |
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