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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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9 N$ s% ?# a7 N8 _% K* F. d 1. Bring your own house. o8 a' i$ W- k! e* r, p; P. c
5 M f% v( ?/ I$ I5 i 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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9 _7 o1 G8 _1 P9 c- R' N# v 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder: \9 `9 |' y9 Q$ V1 q
capital of Canada .! f+ A( _' N1 g: p& g& l8 V* K% a g! m
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada ." j' k$ |7 N( n& p$ u
q) f, W6 @4 I7 i5 T 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug* ]! G/ Q3 [& ?# O
capital of Canada ./ ~8 z- O+ s B7 ]7 i# o. x
( n4 ?* _7 w7 C 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is5 P2 t h! _1 @! y. f
$8.00/hour.0 G% r, d/ ]4 N# C, i
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money5 r6 @3 q r d1 \7 k! v( M
on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas8 h7 d' q2 f% d) G J
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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9 q7 |* A* q8 T) u/ ]10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
- ]2 I1 r s6 l- ?: Ahere sick.
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8 N+ r6 a }- L! ]& \: v11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12" L& ?9 u8 {- t" I! z/ ^
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.9 U- a" {8 T2 u- w
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3 y3 H# i7 R$ p; u ^" n8 `* I0 D4 l THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".# |$ M8 H* W5 j
: X& M1 e/ O/ T2 \& Q2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour/ C4 C- o% c i- X2 G3 y& x
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its% X) [, { x: t4 G. S
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
9 |) [) u/ X( x2 R7 |muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires7 c1 ?' _- v4 z/ N: |3 g3 N
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
6 m) i) M* l. ?" d3 ~7 F4 Sphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
3 }0 X7 A/ v. Tcussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
/ R% J, S) S; ]can get you shot.9 ]& i( [- C& Z) N; ]1 n& z
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
. E5 x8 N y2 k7 Qbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
9 @( S( T( Z: i3 o5 Yday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and4 F" O4 t5 P, _/ d
more construction starts everyday.: k3 C. T( O" D2 v+ I5 H4 J" @) P
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,2 J/ r0 I' ]3 x4 P' _0 q! y
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
0 \& ?4 H! [+ Zsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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, P; W- P/ ?( [, `+ g# g( X( b/ S8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
, `- _! G1 ]+ Y; t2 l. `1 }the same road.1 X% T7 E" _" W/ t9 q7 Z ^2 d* l
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
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activated."
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. t ~% v9 C2 l4 |" w" v* [; k10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
' Z: x2 k# c1 b0 yzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off") e( C& ]" V) d2 f0 d, I7 j+ R
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.4 Y1 h- u5 q4 [, T
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur- _: u0 q* [% P. [* _9 i! w9 M
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
) h8 \& K/ H1 ]6 s- u4 x& Fblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is) y. L$ r1 g1 u- @
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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