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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and+ P Z3 H/ {: [
hospital.
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( {$ u% C0 }4 i% ^ `$ [ 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
0 |1 R5 y* E7 b7 A S6 b$ ?6 rcapital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .9 @1 n! r Y6 T; R+ I7 Z. x
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug& o5 v. o* j$ N) L* B1 Y( O: z
capital of Canada .
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8 ~8 g8 \/ B# {' N! `! R 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is9 u) D# E7 x) {
$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.% d# o5 J8 h5 A! R1 g, e1 y
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money9 w* C8 `3 y9 Q# T
on a 15 year holiday ?! q6 C+ T. D& I$ L% @
; h: Q4 n7 C6 J( h( o$ e 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
K. g/ i8 U$ t+ Fprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage): G" ~5 n0 d8 `- z5 Q0 {3 C
0 R# n7 }' L1 m% E3 O7 s' Q* ]' U10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
* P* { i! F ^. Hhere sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
R! y, _* ?! W& yyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.- u' \! o$ c3 L7 X
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :, S2 j {; L Y8 r, s7 [
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour8 ^6 C# q! I3 C6 k* e
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
7 b" E% m, N$ V4 Kown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest: w, l+ R4 `5 U$ T, ]
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
T1 R+ J9 q1 }9 m6 z7 _0 Cgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
$ o- }0 Z1 z( T* w" k3 Z2 m+ i8 V. v! T4 \phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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: l G9 D1 H! i! e4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,7 Z2 }/ ?* R0 g) C" w1 Z! R
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that5 B ^1 \5 j3 {& {# k" j
can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour s+ O; X* m# B" u# n( z
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
1 r& _+ B. R" ~8 s; f( M- ?day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and) `. [& L: N; X
more construction starts everyday.5 v6 V6 B( ]2 w ~& E1 |, B
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
* i# s, }% v7 @1 adeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,2 c9 n: T9 L5 U4 Z3 f
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.1 ~0 }6 ]! h9 m/ x$ S- o
/ k& Y: H4 B' @: x8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all( H4 W% `' H3 Z0 _# ]4 @
the same road.
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3 ~% Q- k6 ], L" S9 r* C2 Z9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
6 w" g9 T" m+ g' l' F wshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally) P' N0 x: b+ A. E. L' H
activated."
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" ?+ w% V- m0 N) D, J10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km, x) Q/ u, d$ @, M
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
5 K- L# u' |' O" l! A7 t9 l9 qaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.6 X, }; X- Y" T# a* I6 e- p, v
# O, h% |7 `' t4 a5 K u6 I11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
- d& F# ?3 V2 Q( `lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and. B. t. \# E y- S
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is: B# J- B7 W8 T5 [8 p
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
