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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA' i6 i- T$ m) U: z, {8 d
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1. Bring your own house.
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0 a; f, E$ C2 R/ a% z0 e, M 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and: D" J/ e/ a* l
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder- L2 y) t2 h4 ~: [& I5 K
capital of Canada .& M! p. z; S" Z; J/ q
+ v7 j/ _( ~8 A% k3 K& P. Q4 w 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .9 D& Z9 B% N9 T/ s8 u2 ?
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug8 Z$ E1 Y v/ |; E" ^
capital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
& L( _; i- K, P$8.00/hour.
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! t: U; k3 K( E) K; z! S" e* p7 w 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.6 z$ x0 h* h9 Z N3 f! |
. u# \' Z# X4 j' R( v0 ?. r 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
( D- y' ^0 h7 ron a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas; V# w2 G& L% t
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)' B9 q+ D$ P8 e7 x/ S' n
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
2 |$ h9 T, _8 Y( V7 a4 g$ ehere sick., L: X: g$ ^3 q& s8 L# w
+ j6 x, [8 W# f3 e8 @11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
+ d7 d2 J4 |3 i' J# ?) Yyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.5 ?& S- L$ Q: ?4 a* x% y+ B
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+ ?1 r% T* T, @( {3 Y THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :! E" w( e X n4 C. I7 L* x0 m
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".6 @) i- u+ g* i
5 n" s$ j |- O+ D6 P2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour+ I6 K; p& ]# J2 G* L7 z
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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: \& y3 Z' T e7 R1 c0 c3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
" l; _4 {; r# r% W4 Fown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest( f4 x5 a+ |* t. |9 B
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires( C* P/ c! q% l3 t6 e+ I+ I( H
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell) `. P! Q& l( ]- W, B' `
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.% e6 O, w+ V% L7 k
3 p w; z0 [! d9 [$ j! y6 W4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
" m5 c. z3 T) k; q$ a2 xcussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 E O# W4 Q7 Q5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
4 l* E! {4 D, g5 z% W3 m; Jcan get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
4 o' I/ R3 v, y( W; X% A! Obarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
5 s& [8 ?1 Q9 y9 V' i$ _day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and3 j* C6 } u* d8 C# N' h& _
more construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
( p4 x& V; \) F5 ^' C8 H: j4 xdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
% `3 y- S7 Y" w. p; {: tsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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* ^. ]" J0 K8 i0 r8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all7 Z& N3 v$ G4 t) b% B" E
the same road.5 C6 s/ _ V, ~ t
1 V4 y- ?4 \8 f. J9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the# }( v7 O1 m8 E2 M6 l7 C3 `
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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( R$ R$ ^9 p: W5 g10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
0 G% E: y2 M9 |: [. ^6 D' Kzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"1 M3 r* i. b2 r1 g) [
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur- Q3 s: h# @3 a2 b! `9 c. g, V
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
. L# W, O9 b7 p3 qblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
, ?) P' d5 I+ l' avirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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