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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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" n9 M' p% l# e8 \ 1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and! u! D' w% H7 {. b) M$ E- u
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5 v" S3 d+ X' d3 q! J 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
. [' f' w$ m: S% z* Ccapital of Canada .
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1 r- }1 S" |. V5 B2 s& W# p 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .+ e9 Z- K8 u) I8 D
- q1 d0 k6 K' X( R% b 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
/ y: n. X, b5 }3 x- Kcapital of Canada .! S6 l g# s P- ~' R* S6 ]
, m, u8 S/ C; M* } 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
* F; U9 [8 q& q# _* B D0 q$8.00/hour.
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, e8 g% z- {' [- j' r* j9 B 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.4 Z7 y3 ~6 C; z6 p
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money6 B5 ]3 l6 j3 A3 ]1 t
on a 15 year holiday ?) h, Z) X' p' Y7 g
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas8 v5 z) e. Y7 \- J# b
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)# Q1 t- n7 |( }: r
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 128 Z5 {9 `2 x0 M( I
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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% K% H: {2 {" p0 h$ B THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON : ^( T# r O4 f4 _) E, Y
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".& A. ~/ U- Y' c6 [
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
9 {' n) h, i, @+ o, v3 gis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its& o& c: v) B8 z8 J- g; z
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest* E+ H1 f' b( t. d
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires$ [0 m& s/ E p/ }1 d. @
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
: E/ L/ H$ O+ R6 b5 Q: H# wphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
# x& L) Q0 F4 {+ X0 U7 d7 E Acussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that% `' b7 W9 W4 n2 P1 N' |
can get you shot.- I* m) F% Z- o* ~, z+ J( I+ H, ^5 _. A
, {& V" w, C% U* H. j F6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
" y5 @8 B2 `4 i1 u" p4 dbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
/ t& T' a" ~1 u+ N2 X+ l: b3 @day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
( Z* K" L% [2 K5 L" Y2 ?more construction starts everyday.( F: y; }* q5 @' y+ P1 j
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats," g2 A2 }" e9 n, B5 E/ v
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
- F. d& {' a& ~% w" P% n( \squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
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4 ^8 _2 y Z4 q3 t" z+ r/ N! U5 d9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the; M; {4 J! _0 U) B) n* K3 B
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally/ ^/ O2 j9 l& c* B$ ~0 l% B1 v. f
activated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km+ j$ k1 s7 J- Q t* k
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"5 I6 `9 [# w% _
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.! Z0 h& d3 D1 P
& G1 O7 _; ~( u- N4 S* X0 R) v11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
5 n7 B+ L: \0 C4 j* }& ^( Vlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
V7 i$ `( n1 T( Z3 S/ h+ R# dblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
* }+ Z0 ^1 }% d* V/ h/ _virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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