送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON，ALBERTA的朋友

acsm6

NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA



1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
$ c9 o6 L8 F8 ohospital.

6 T5 N4 Q9 h6 ]- J* b% l7 X0 a 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
1 `+ R" x) w$ w0 f/ @9 scapital of Canada .

4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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# s1 m# {6 d% Q, P5 B 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
capital of Canada .

; d$ z8 m4 v7 ?( M 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
& |: C) N8 a5 G; C% v4 r$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.

8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
% L' G3 v4 u, R" a" G! Lon a 15 year holiday ?

8 b, Z' P# }5 h1 N. s 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
; `& }6 S4 {; m$ r/ i; W# wprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
7 G, t/ c6 h) ?' P# K! w) ]here sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.

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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".

2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.

3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
0 I' x" Z- b" \- Sown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
! t. U$ |$ n: s/ ~  `muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
7 V2 z8 R7 e0 Ngo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
! v+ e6 O0 w/ f- kphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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6 L2 j" E& A' T1 b" l" ?! i6 O5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
; H+ e# g  p6 yday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
+ {; P7 C: p4 Y( N0 Vmore construction starts everyday.
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  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
1 s' v5 r" S* vsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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6 C, L# A: K: g0 q; P# ]+ d8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
the same road.
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2 `. K+ X6 D8 o! h! Z. h! }9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
# r! N- H4 r* }" w; c5 [% |shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
+ K, ^! G! w- s1 _7 C8 j( {activated."

' n+ D+ T: ^% T3 ~9 J10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
& B/ w: \/ u1 P! jzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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+ `# M4 M$ l/ {+ U- ^* [11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
$ s1 f4 C" S4 R/ ]" ?, ~3 h6 c( llined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
  j/ L& n! h& b4 gblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
& P2 S- t8 t! u/ P. Ovirtually non-existent until the spring thaw.

大头熊

( `+ O0 y. B# L& c有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人，大部分人都活下来了。

kaleli

又是一个挨砖的帖子。

人生几何

紫光

西红柿酸

HOAH

朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
4 v: C- K. W5 E0 P: ^有一个人，他骂了自己所在单位一辈子，由于长期持有一种心情，一种哀怨的表情，脸色都是土灰色的了，可就是没见他作出什么成就，已没有离开他的破单位，却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。

April

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :
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' F- j2 _: p$ Z( t" ^1 Y3 L! R9 Z此地钱多, 人傻, 速来



[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]

pacibridge

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
...

说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

上酸菜

是原创吗？楼主太有才了，佩服啊！！

宁宁宝宝

HOAH

原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表

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; m" _9 K. \# b5 A6 I' j8 z 说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

" f6 |6 y7 v) G, h
这么刺痛你了吗？

我可指的是极少数人，如果你不是，就别往自己身上想。

大头熊

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
0 L2 u: j# p5 ?. v满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
/ Y5 A, ]: J, C4 c" K' x ...

: n- I$ a1 j% W' M% R你这样不太好吧！每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬，好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。

2 p: z9 d& W5 `! f% A再次申明我的观点，Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。

Yang123

埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!

MyFairy

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.
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lalah

就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊

兔宝宝

以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.