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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA8 y+ B* d+ T) Q$ [- J$ n4 ~$ D
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% y( Z/ K8 U i. ~$ ` 1. Bring your own house.) L6 |2 I3 ?; ^+ H
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
% V9 M5 Q. {) T$ Lhospital.
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3 N( Z" o l, X6 s; {1 } 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder1 A* Q0 X8 m! R' ?" r/ {! `
capital of Canada .
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/ A% J2 q- h, I/ E 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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% D4 a2 w5 [6 ?+ e 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug0 _# @( H) B3 W$ b# U7 E
capital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is6 x/ [& W+ e+ y2 V
$8.00/hour.
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4 }7 C7 N1 b, E& b 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.5 z' Y$ t+ g3 `( T% d$ J
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money1 |3 V8 }8 W7 Q* \5 H; ^, }
on a 15 year holiday ?8 h' C: h* v1 ~( O+ h6 f
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas; c+ a5 C) ~; U
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come2 N8 q6 U3 r0 c$ _4 H# j2 m8 J) ~, M% X
here sick./ b! n$ }8 G2 {$ j6 w" _
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
) S1 h8 T. @6 S% a5 P5 @years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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5 f, E0 M( n; L2 s THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :2 J% | v1 {2 q* \/ k
/ Y* X2 B* ?: d! D! \1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ". a% x' ]" z6 F- H8 @% U
# k5 U/ l# }) J, v2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour: ^; H' b. U( T: a' h4 N
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning. k& Y3 s9 c8 j& p3 x$ ^
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
* q; U$ S/ J( f qown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest5 j( S, Z( G& E
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
4 \ e) d* v; k# q% u7 B! w Vgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
( o4 U# H! _8 I+ L7 A, f: x- mphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.7 A3 ^' W" s7 p* m
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,9 V; C0 x; }; f9 k
cussed out, and possibly shot.6 f$ |8 I- r1 }+ o5 ?4 H
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that$ K6 U0 ^2 D5 O- X8 O6 k
can get you shot. a5 z8 J0 Y5 O
7 T3 w3 B1 L( i3 `6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
" A& w1 i: Y+ H! E' H: x3 E2 Sbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next6 Z I1 W; C* z+ P- |! {8 O
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and2 V9 P6 o5 `2 g- a' G! h$ J
more construction starts everyday.
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: a, [9 V; `! _2 f* c5 q ?6 n 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
2 D& n; `+ {: m* B w: g( ?# Udeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,5 R3 J0 r& u+ |: A
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.* Q8 f6 ]! \! q2 F: {
; u @6 o6 X7 W$ d2 w/ m8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
: \1 F* c! v# F8 i7 Ethe same road.
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$ m3 Q8 b" \( ]! ~/ }. q& g9 x* ^& c9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
) m, F& o- B& o d7 e4 s) _: I4 _& cshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally2 d" v$ y% V1 K# f7 Z& x h
activated."+ K3 ]0 W8 F E' y, c
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km) t0 c/ n" P: C* U& r
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
: M' Y6 w0 z; v5 vaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
9 G- U- v9 H. e9 }: S* Clined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and' S; u; w9 A7 C* P5 M6 o; d
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is7 d- c. J* b4 \% T
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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