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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and& X7 m, w; N- n, H% f$ I& L" N9 T( x' A
hospital.4 [" {8 ~6 l& Z/ j) @3 [$ q
0 q6 K% v3 A5 d; l 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
3 k, z6 v; E* i; v- u9 Z- Gcapital of Canada .# }0 u' ?6 K/ ?
- m: ?' l1 f/ F9 |0 ], i% c' {; F 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .4 ^( x8 _) V( [3 Q p4 f y" k
( u! L7 U5 S; N* p# G# B- f, h" k: u 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug x" x# M& g! i( t3 [$ a
capital of Canada .. m9 l+ `& E* F6 Y
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
" x3 p) b, d9 V, h$8.00/hour.
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% K% o! h0 t; \$ K# V 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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7 E% d7 O: p& \' | 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
( b! v8 z6 W2 B7 M% I( C% r% k* @/ Uon a 15 year holiday ?" w* |& V8 {) k8 A
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas( r& o! @3 _) C; z" D
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)" }) _" M7 h9 O) d+ ~- F
( M0 e8 _- R- u# I1 _/ Q10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
9 e S e$ d% B/ P8 q where sick.
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. ?9 \2 [+ B& j& M11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 125 @( c ~& {: x( r& |
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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. s' V2 M$ t) { THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :/ i4 O6 Q8 _, g( q# a# T7 f
; u: W/ c7 S4 G1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".6 W5 N m. R1 }5 [
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
- g' P' o: z7 G* @; Xown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
* j, a# y, W5 M( s( umuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires% ]# f! G' m9 u' {5 [
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell1 ~- T5 {2 D* j
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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; D9 \1 M x+ r5 p5 _6 E" |4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,: |& `8 B: ?; e8 T9 t5 R- H
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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! i; M# A0 p: y# F5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that; k4 N; r7 N( {- L* S! m
can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
( f5 `* Z& ]& W, bbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next: _- b' K d: q* @
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
% R0 `' e5 b+ wmore construction starts everyday.$ C- X; c# X3 M. A+ j R3 m( k
3 K- \* m! Q, G8 l7 F/ ] 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
8 G# @5 ?, T& H) r: E( Jdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,: `2 o3 B5 Y5 P' f5 C
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.9 c( O' i! d- m7 }5 h
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all5 ^" j1 i/ Q0 j: _
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
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activated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
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2 V( s D5 g% U( T @accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur$ l3 y P! |8 z+ C6 P+ T
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and9 K0 f2 U I% O9 `3 W
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
& ~2 t" U p2 {, D) }2 K, A/ z; q. Evirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
