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送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA2 @5 J% O9 M/ F% [3 T2 Q! G: y

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1. Bring your own house.
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9 j6 v' Q, y3 `, p8 h 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and4 Z+ |1 B1 A- J
hospital.
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: F! Y0 x. ?; L7 q" U; b! E6 z 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
" W  Q+ H' v7 V3 w2 n! H# Zcapital of Canada .$ M% ~) v* h, O: ]
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .% I& o% Q2 V1 e0 @0 R. W

1 u; p/ c2 N, O$ U. x0 E9 p1 b 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
: G4 I/ J+ g2 K7 g$ `capital of Canada ." \# F/ k4 E) |! V

- i! P3 w  S4 m/ C 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
6 n. ?: S1 `4 ^$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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+ u# }) {9 K7 j 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
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! }4 q& B4 B1 M3 g 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas' {2 S' O3 o5 n. z1 R5 u
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come; \* m/ s# d* T0 K/ ?
here sick.
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$ z) C2 i  i. M. G( g) I* ?11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
& H2 _. \5 A' v. r! ~years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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2 L0 y5 v% w! n' f1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour3 ?) ^+ g5 s7 S7 O6 a" m7 h" h
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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. W, O. ]/ z1 ^" h; p8 e3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
% G8 N0 N8 i- n5 i, m+ Z9 h) M2 `own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
) N4 [! [; Z- Imuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires4 I9 Z8 g: p1 b- I- w
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell6 }" ?0 a. P3 W# M' P8 l( Z
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way./ b2 X: o6 i/ X4 c$ v8 k
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
- o4 `  |" x1 h( x9 Tcussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
/ ?3 o. |& e, a3 d) n# a4 @can get you shot.3 ]1 S+ a4 |4 |2 R4 Y
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
' A- W* A) i* v( x# e) p0 G! Xbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next& u8 j* }( n2 m$ V) C$ t* d
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and4 W! D2 x5 k$ w4 O$ d) g: H
more construction starts everyday.
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0 I7 b5 k) q& p5 v# m  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
4 I# V! {" v8 k# `deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,  e/ Y6 F' [- o8 J. _5 s
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.$ T0 V) E  z# O5 t9 W- a
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all' S2 e; J1 y! z7 p
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
  y# U, w) u& H$ A' g& c: ?shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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: N9 A' B/ t* d4 x6 a6 Y( G10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
7 M3 c" e' u; J0 a  x9 bzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"& @+ }- z2 D/ @1 u
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot." H8 z! f- q# G  m
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11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur  `3 O# G3 c7 D7 ]
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and2 x2 U3 M% Y+ R$ W( S7 b; u
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
( I/ K! C# K$ H# S% ^* ~9 Mvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层

5 X+ r/ d+ ?% c1 \! i# Y% D有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
理袁律师事务所
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。9 O5 F) c+ R2 V* u
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
) \% J" l8 [2 Y有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 : ! N+ t1 b* `$ j6 B4 g2 ]
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此地钱多, 人傻, 速来
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[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 9 G* B- [  e1 A5 q
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。& E" p! O) X  {" E! z1 c( f. q
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。3 A+ j+ H; {4 G
...
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说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表 & V& e  O0 V2 |+ K) J
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9 o& O! m4 \8 S! T- m 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。

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这么刺痛你了吗?
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我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
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发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 / f/ `* @# v( `- B/ k
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。7 k1 g' {$ G8 y. T
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
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4 V! X, a6 z2 g: j8 B7 n你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。+ w5 l6 t; N  ?" O+ W
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再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
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发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
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发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.
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发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
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发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
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