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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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6 X) h4 Y( _6 Y4 O a* S6 \. B2 ` 1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and6 N- B$ d" ~0 c% x- ?. m$ ]% X
hospital. l; I# G D) Q5 [. r' _
; Y; Z( z' ?: G2 z 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder9 q% N+ e# o8 V
capital of Canada .: v r# v/ J0 ^% ]9 U. Y( U0 }
' m2 |: k# c) B" `. K 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .' C; |5 W' k, o1 A; S: E
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is" \, t8 d, g6 ~. Y
$8.00/hour.
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5 H ?+ x9 d, ^& b9 i. M% k+ t 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money8 x& E/ H, U; R C( H, i+ {
on a 15 year holiday ?* A. b8 Y/ l1 p1 x2 | A5 c/ z0 U. G
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas8 g- P" h$ k5 P4 c' G2 X
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)" v ^/ k% s. c5 U. W) q
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
6 Z W% M4 y5 h- yhere sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
: P1 \' U2 n+ _4 Cyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.' O5 p$ Z. S4 ^5 k, l- Y1 c
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" B3 w( N; Q8 V& p1 p, l$ w! C6 p THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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! [6 w) ?* b8 a* A7 v2 D6 P1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".- W8 R* D' `( x! t
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
, E1 P" C8 G/ E6 B7 l7 D# s2 Zown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
" n; N! j8 i$ smuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
_6 f8 e Y! |7 _' Y# qgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
3 n9 o# u% b4 {2 Nphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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5 n2 t9 l( a5 O) v! t" V4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that4 a) V5 L: c+ k1 H
can get you shot.9 e7 ~* x( @6 s8 @2 z
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
( r1 H1 _7 C$ o) V+ I" bbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
/ T& p0 }& K# Y+ M1 H j- gday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
& F, Q) V: D* w w+ H7 Wmore construction starts everyday.
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8 u. M* \! Y/ k6 Y 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
9 q" L' g4 g R( ]) L9 ^deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,; ` j! K+ j) v9 L1 {1 p: V
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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) M, t0 n4 Q& D" |" d. ~4 O8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
1 B% L2 |+ s" E- y6 }, Othe same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
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activated."4 {! ]# N) [" a* m$ I
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km( Y4 d$ H& o$ d" b6 ]2 F) A( M, [
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
6 R L9 m! @/ E" Gaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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: D- J$ |& f N% _4 H) O* N6 W11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
' C$ [. [, |) [1 z6 jlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and# \$ d: D U. l+ Y1 ~
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
' N `2 W, d2 kvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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