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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA* v, H* m2 F4 w3 V9 Q E
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1. Bring your own house.* _5 d' |: a7 C5 J/ m5 l
$ o: k u# v; t; ?- c 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and. y2 r. T4 p W
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
: }6 u- p' ]# I3 G/ I& ~( Ccapital of Canada .7 H( E( [0 k& o" W* {+ ?4 G. u
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug( A* v6 Z+ T3 b `3 D" r, _
capital of Canada .$ |: J" U9 X F, _' h* N u
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
1 c5 d( u D4 e+ l# a2 F$8.00/hour.
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+ ^4 D* }8 [" @# D0 z V; ` 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.! {0 s4 W" l) V; z0 `( Z1 P
( s. {: x; ~ Q' @ 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
+ @8 c" J# v: R# x) m! y! son a 15 year holiday ?, _0 M) q$ C. q% W6 S! W2 m
( v3 U# r7 L; s( d6 H; [ 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas8 A7 ]+ L) S- |& \6 _ a
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)# E* \1 c6 t4 e0 R& x3 H
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
; ?4 N r3 q2 t! a+ p9 qhere sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 120 L7 y% [# u; t. i6 }5 Y! P) D
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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" ]) E3 j+ `$ O- M. c THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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' E' L5 V; t9 V1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ". q+ ~9 i% W( V {2 e9 t" O
& ^; S1 L7 `: B3 ?( G2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour0 d( M ^# ]3 g8 S3 ~4 }: u' P. I
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
* F# w- u5 W* d$ w0 A$ Nown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest* Z0 W0 _8 k8 N* J1 d8 P7 |% h6 [
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
. o% V; |( y% Z% x# S" }8 cgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
& A* p2 A8 p- c8 k. k3 Z" J8 lphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.$ i: @% l5 r, z2 J. \
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
7 M4 X1 J7 Z) w6 t& T) ?cussed out, and possibly shot.2 n: @/ m) H$ \8 B
5 {' v8 y4 B* L& t0 H* I+ a5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
" K7 z# l& ~3 b6 g6 q- Q9 \" ?6 m( Ccan get you shot.
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# x0 `9 U- e! l0 r6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
+ {8 p# B/ P" i c6 z1 w. q# Nbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next# z- |5 ~/ {; Y/ J+ B# u( h5 Q: Z
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and& m7 h0 E+ C6 T, P& |5 m3 l
more construction starts everyday.9 k! O$ Q* ~5 S* u
* {" U! _ k6 D/ U 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,( [" j6 N1 I& M. P! Y. M, z
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,3 h, d4 `* X8 Y- K
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.8 V& Q; S( x- G( g
: a- l; A0 e0 [8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
& i( o" m. d2 s# d% q$ T& C0 p6 Athe same road.' h# }! S; P6 Q5 b) T5 a# Q
" g" a9 Y, B5 C4 m, a& ~& R9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the1 t7 h9 `# z+ H/ J; m7 G" r6 d
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally9 o& j; Q4 ]- P. s3 ~' | g
activated."
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0 Z/ I' u e6 w# D1 ?10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
( S: P, y/ Q" [9 i+ ]zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
6 S# g7 a5 C% Z6 v- Xaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.0 g$ t& c5 H' b' L1 q
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur6 I) i0 K1 b* r5 E* X5 d3 Y
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and3 L( ?2 Q2 ]) z1 M& X! K( d4 s
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
, Y( K# D6 z' `- P: Hvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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