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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA2 @5 J% O9 M/ F% [3 T2 Q! G: y
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1. Bring your own house.
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9 j6 v' Q, y3 `, p8 h 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and4 Z+ |1 B1 A- J
hospital.
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: F! Y0 x. ?; L7 q" U; b! E6 z 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
" W Q+ H' v7 V3 w2 n! H# Zcapital of Canada .$ M% ~) v* h, O: ]
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .% I& o% Q2 V1 e0 @0 R. W
1 u; p/ c2 N, O$ U. x0 E9 p1 b 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
: G4 I/ J+ g2 K7 g$ `capital of Canada ." \# F/ k4 E) |! V
- i! P3 w S4 m/ C 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
6 n. ?: S1 `4 ^$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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+ u# }) {9 K7 j 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
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! }4 q& B4 B1 M3 g 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas' {2 S' O3 o5 n. z1 R5 u
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come; \* m/ s# d* T0 K/ ?
here sick.
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$ z) C2 i i. M. G( g) I* ?11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
& H2 _. \5 A' v. r! ~years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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2 L0 y5 v% w! n' f1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour3 ?) ^+ g5 s7 S7 O6 a" m7 h" h
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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. W, O. ]/ z1 ^" h; p8 e3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
% G8 N0 N8 i- n5 i, m+ Z9 h) M2 `own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
) N4 [! [; Z- Imuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires4 I9 Z8 g: p1 b- I- w
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell6 }" ?0 a. P3 W# M' P8 l( Z
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way./ b2 X: o6 i/ X4 c$ v8 k
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
- o4 ` |" x1 h( x9 Tcussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
/ ?3 o. |& e, a3 d) n# a4 @can get you shot.3 ]1 S+ a4 |4 |2 R4 Y
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
' A- W* A) i* v( x# e) p0 G! Xbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next& u8 j* }( n2 m$ V) C$ t* d
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and4 W! D2 x5 k$ w4 O$ d) g: H
more construction starts everyday.
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0 I7 b5 k) q& p5 v# m 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
4 I# V! {" v8 k# `deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage, e/ Y6 F' [- o8 J. _5 s
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.$ T0 V) E z# O5 t9 W- a
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all' S2 e; J1 y! z7 p
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
y# U, w) u& H$ A' g& c: ?shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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: N9 A' B/ t* d4 x6 a6 Y( G10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
7 M3 c" e' u; J0 a x9 bzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"& @+ }- z2 D/ @1 u
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot." H8 z! f- q# G m
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur `3 O# G3 c7 D7 ]
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and2 x2 U3 M% Y+ R$ W( S7 b; u
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
( I/ K! C# K$ H# S% ^* ~9 Mvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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