UPGRADE FROM BOYFRIEND TO HUSBAND

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Dear IT Support / Software Developer,
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; Q. T: K, S- b7 E% p) DLast year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the flower, gifts and jewellery applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable programs such as Formula One 5.0, NBA 3.0 and World Cup 2.0.

1 V' U, h( U# Z0 N9 C( _; pAnd now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
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7 L4 P' F% m8 y  |9 ?& CWhat can I do?

Signed,
Desperate Housewife

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7 V/ s" V! ]( D1 s: G8 r2 u$ lReply:

Dear Desperate Housewife,
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0 @7 `6 Q- m0 D1 x6 N- I  gFirst keep in mind:
' ^: \% _* K, P! zBoyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.
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Try entering the command C:\ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and download Tears 6.2 to install Guilt 3.0 .
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3 c5 \. m! e: _! c. |If all works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

1 X" |- J$ z6 u2 oBut remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Late Night Teh Tarik 6.1.

# s/ l$ V) [4 ^+ g: a5 o; ALate Night 6.1 is a very bad program that will create SnoringLoudly.wav files.
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Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-Law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

1 ]5 q' g2 l( P1 PIn summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.

4 J$ p6 X1 z$ o& w: U$ XYou might consider additional software to improve memory and
6 E" W2 q  q- n) b/ |7 s; p0 Z" B4 ]# ~performance. I personally recommend Hot Tasty Food 3.0 and Tongkat Ali 6.9.
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3 }: ~& f- F! ?- i" ]5 pGood Luck,
IT Support