 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks." X: }3 s4 c' F4 H
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. ; X3 e/ U9 e$ q2 p
- h+ Q3 u% K* d5 w* V9 UIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.6 @; W/ U% o6 a( i/ A
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- . _( }7 ~+ F8 |* G4 `" X o$ ^
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc./ G: q! a2 \( M. h8 I
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. # I/ ^& z$ c1 C4 ^
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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% d3 m1 x0 V9 ^ j8 O: Z6 K' vWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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x( v' {7 q9 DCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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" S3 s, r& q& U+ R2 U' t( ]( hWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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8 y' g, C" u7 {0 K+ a. FWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 5 B6 ~3 g- i6 Q4 W. v( O: B2 d
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Rinse conditioner off hair.
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* P, a. U/ D A" DShave armpits and legs.
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4 L5 I/ h* m; ^' |2 i* }Turn off shower.* X% h) x$ v p9 F& b {$ K
: Z& r9 y! Y; H" ZSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.2 j- [' p: L! P+ Y) V3 A% O
3 Z+ n w7 D/ |7 L, r% a& xSpray mold spots with Tilex.
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2 Z. c8 W/ s2 V% vGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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$ H' j, |/ b5 v1 r: U( h/ vWrap hair in super absorbent towel. - w! t) w3 Z; b# U
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. : ]1 S* n5 A0 c& ^8 @, ~3 k
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. + K$ S) q( Y2 C: P; c
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. / o# [7 m- ~ ^' A( D0 z
! ^( ~* t8 B; U- Y6 q& W# ^Walk naked to the bathroom.; n( V% p% A$ T* }
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror. - D( _9 T! o# T5 v, e$ _* S! q% \4 K& U
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 2 {3 u$ ?7 i) E. p u
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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8 E* [! e1 @( |, VFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. : _8 I2 u) r% N1 E3 s
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. ; g7 P6 v/ `" B/ n2 U$ b
3 B6 ^% u- S4 \5 `3 u, }; HWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. ! \6 ]) L3 i- c$ |7 v2 v3 Q0 R
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Pee. - l! G2 F4 s3 k' r1 F; u
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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Partially dry off.. P* E5 W Y" I( L3 V- c
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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! f, E2 a1 `, }; V* j; l- [Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. ! ]- f: h# }3 N7 C0 f" |8 F
9 q/ ]7 K/ f4 fThrow wet towel on bed.
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8 B3 ]/ X% c9 r0 aIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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