 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : ; [! b! T, }* ~ a; D
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. : M1 e. w8 W5 O
9 t2 H9 k. \* U8 Q7 Z- DIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.- L0 C- i) J) D) s& y
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
; d0 M U2 q! S' Bmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.. t& I! U2 G2 n6 G: ]
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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3 q# r/ o9 e/ h5 ]' b4 a& V7 X2 }Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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4 n) [$ H& S6 s' _% j: |$ A: CWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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+ e6 B' d3 F; F) p4 vCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..) o6 O5 @% V: S- k7 w" V/ p
: |+ V! e* p! y i) _: qWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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7 t- Q* A0 c3 `* {+ @Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. ! i1 w4 h& c% `# u2 \( O4 t) S
4 z" ?+ V0 a1 J2 \5 A; @0 t: FRinse conditioner off hair.
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3 q# m8 |, ~. d3 ?; I8 D& qShave armpits and legs.
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* \) U; [* Q2 l- u7 C" d$ ]. WTurn off shower.
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.( m5 }* n; m0 e1 g
, q2 g2 B1 u& G4 y% M$ zSpray mold spots with Tilex. 1 c# d; w9 v% I# p( M# M0 t4 Y
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. 8 _' n* I. a% Y
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. 7 |7 ?% f6 E. I- q# C
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. * z; X" S, C8 b& n2 I& q
9 [1 p- e/ m, L& Q( wIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. ; M$ O* Y' S6 }1 o) Z
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. * p# r m! P# r2 w( C" j7 b
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror. 7 {- Q8 u5 t/ ?0 v
5 X* {6 y. U& Z7 xAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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; [8 Q2 P) w; QGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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4 b4 H% }$ \- g0 C) O" yBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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2 P+ j( ^" |, D S! z l4 fFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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E5 ]8 l7 e: ~; p7 T* jSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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& ^. S! g F6 W; f! p8 U3 YWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. ' F% I1 w8 O5 b
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. 1 L: y. x6 }5 r6 z8 O
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Pee.
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: h7 L# I" D6 J2 aRinse off and get out of shower. # _. T7 [" v: H2 _9 n. I
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Partially dry off.' m/ x! v+ Y/ x) a6 L& k7 o7 ^9 }
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. . |0 \/ c/ I$ S/ l; b. z+ _
+ Y$ [! r6 c7 [% EAdmire wiener size in mirror again. 7 r+ G) F( u h6 a8 K& O0 B) |% W
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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9 o. ~5 P# `/ \4 k. @* s1 J* a$ U% PReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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) E3 g/ [! t. E) k. f, cThrow wet towel on bed. 2 h# `) t4 c7 ]: b m( M: Z
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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