 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
|
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : . V% {$ g7 ?! y, c( P; N
9 t3 V& N8 c+ @# \- S% h# q! \( \% w
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------) O- d0 { i9 ^3 l! S6 J& U+ l
- D o+ c; ?# i9 u& W
# `$ W( Z0 ?# k. z" F! N& G7 G" m
4 P) y; ^6 W: O NTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
& H8 x' o: _: }1 l
1 O$ q, W0 @6 u* iWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
, q9 l7 X9 O; \$ \% g+ K
& F$ e, C' G; t$ L% I9 b" T- h) N9 }If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
6 B5 K2 H9 A; y" ]' \" v8 a. z4 B/ x5 `
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- ( T9 J7 P( i6 ]" A; d
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.4 j7 f1 z2 T4 {! p5 E+ \, F
' R# m2 C' A/ f0 D" x: W' I; RGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
8 K/ N% P# D( z+ {0 n- h( `! c& d" ]+ G3 b. c; t# @5 g5 d9 t$ }( }
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 7 j- L9 x+ h" F- M' M+ G
- Y* G- I" e9 T5 y6 D, dWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
" S+ ^% m7 M6 I$ F
! x- S4 A8 y' c. oCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
2 P. ?0 j* i6 c0 \8 ^8 Q, h2 e" D7 U3 s* M D3 f
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
# s( W1 |5 O1 _3 W# M7 j' \( K: s( l! m8 d6 U
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 2 d) a! R' s8 L" k
1 B3 c v3 _3 e3 @7 SRinse conditioner off hair.! ~0 J! a7 S9 p) H8 G8 j
# K2 R' q. C! D* c! _# T; fShave armpits and legs.
, V' H ]) [* v/ G7 s3 l" _/ J9 z+ p) H' l. z6 N; I* x+ f
Turn off shower., e1 t7 q2 r& n8 x( Z5 L: S
! }+ l3 l# |2 G9 O. x7 r3 B6 fSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.( U4 ?8 x& j) h; O6 Y/ \
2 O, l- ?+ P) J/ g. Z1 ~Spray mold spots with Tilex.
8 n& p7 \6 U" z8 W8 R3 K5 U0 y% U, m- _ v B$ K8 }
Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. - u- k$ p7 \. f% Z6 ^
c9 _" [/ b3 B! ~6 j" l7 h
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. 6 v; z1 k1 C2 k7 Y0 m- Y& c ~( {, ^! N
. ~: N$ S- r! O) ^) S7 O7 T: n/ ^
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. ' U" Y+ G5 h* T* ?
$ L; m ^; r- V |! T3 @4 w% u0 EIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. + G S# [$ o+ G3 U8 C: [8 a
. D* g9 ?7 x6 {3 L
7 w. b9 c, O0 @
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: 4 G) [7 m. [3 U) J
7 y# C" u& f# N& OTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 5 O; }- o* w) e( D' ~; Q8 ^
' ^1 D7 H: b# j" VWalk naked to the bathroom.5 E0 k& z7 Q/ S4 K8 f+ S2 H' J
\$ i U" v/ g- e, N+ KIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
" n3 A* I" i4 N% \7 }8 a6 j- `# Z' q+ q! Z9 M/ z* V2 F
Look at your manly physique in the mirror. 6 B: p3 a+ ?& p
' L; w- Y* L; y+ p
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. ! X6 B5 d( ?4 M8 Y
% `" H4 M5 C- s, u+ c$ q8 Y! u) \
Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
4 `- a' S5 d3 ?$ G9 n6 C
, t0 _5 B; a# Z! C9 pBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
! N9 d, b# P" h$ L! M0 m. \6 b: R! Q( h r ]) s+ w/ {8 t
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. & {: j& E! ]; n; U' Q
8 ?. n' u C& S( F* u3 kSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. - D* _* o1 ^: b1 U9 o( i/ c
3 }! E( T7 R+ H) I% q5 Y" Y
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
0 d1 t! ?1 ?5 D! X: H1 i3 Z8 t
4 L* K7 }2 L: \2 r8 U" mWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
/ P& x9 y1 a, h6 N6 f6 w8 d% Q$ d1 a' u: P. j4 v+ i& N9 v
Pee.
) v/ `, N+ o( X/ U: t/ w8 m7 l
0 n# j7 T( @ Y: i, g0 ?( K& wRinse off and get out of shower.
; D# @* d) p( K5 ?5 y8 r& x. x" p& r t0 }
Partially dry off.. U1 S# _) ^, a2 L2 F1 x# k; E" I3 K
, _" w$ q# L: K; O, P# e1 s
Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. : S9 o8 q0 F/ q6 C$ g$ v+ A8 R7 w
3 D9 }# [+ v; [3 ]" T
Admire wiener size in mirror again. 6 r- Q, }4 ?& @ a' o
- M- i" T' c( j% h9 V P
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. e9 F& P8 V: t& d
: m% s' h/ d3 h/ aReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. " u$ X. w1 r6 ]) B1 E
) K/ u% O0 X- Y- e+ V( Y" b
Throw wet towel on bed.
; W4 M; `; z5 B% ]0 o7 H7 T9 J9 r$ c L) S4 C- F$ x- M
If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
|