 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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" k$ r& p, V2 ]6 u3 G) TWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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3 b$ G4 g* V! EIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
- d( |! U5 P* T! r. t4 f; Pmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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' h3 O2 a$ i; f3 rWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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1 y$ R) T: p! {Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..9 c; T% i- Y: G' b' k. ]: n' a
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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Rinse conditioner off hair.% r6 w" R% J; `) [' y
1 k! K* X/ v. k gShave armpits and legs.8 N9 m, |( b- i) i$ v
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Turn off shower.
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" x6 M8 M9 \3 e* K! U# ZSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.) b1 F# x4 k$ {# u
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Spray mold spots with Tilex. ; O9 v+ b% M' f8 H
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. % F& n$ N: l! q) u6 }1 B
3 ]) M/ {9 i& x4 [2 ^) UWrap hair in super absorbent towel. 8 U, Z7 t$ \' a% v
( \5 U% N; I' ~* g/ JReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. - W6 s: h8 }# M- ^& I _' T
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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) v3 L" N0 v+ f: t7 f. n+ dWalk naked to the bathroom.- }. q, N8 ]. g$ H
0 [$ q W/ |( _, oIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror. ( ~3 ~& Z: @" }& m. I, D6 k+ L
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. % K" {1 u9 M+ `8 Z
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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a" t7 f. _1 ?- `Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. ' ]4 {2 w8 Z8 L6 I
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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% e4 K8 m+ e" nPartially dry off.- Q o0 L7 V8 S1 i9 E
1 Z) v& e3 W' Q1 Y9 NFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. # F d( N0 L. \7 N% u
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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* f# |5 R4 M* R$ R6 fLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. " f3 Z, f9 x- o# e1 [$ t
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. " m h3 N4 T0 H# s
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Throw wet towel on bed.
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/ T( ^* K6 X+ D' |If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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