 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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5 r, C E3 Y1 t' O4 n0 {9 kTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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b0 F6 [0 `% q* Q- h5 |Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. 1 ^" w/ s# l$ b& A$ r% ^( P4 a0 O* Q0 R
- L+ j- q( C. s( `: _If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.* i0 m( s, R# O: D/ O
+ y7 [0 N: I# p5 k0 n/ ZLook at your womanly physique in the mirror -- - R9 h, S$ @9 _1 |$ a% ?
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.3 s/ a% q6 w; I) J
7 F# k2 L3 y( [Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. ; ?$ ?2 }. y" B, K* o
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 9 Z) \+ T/ S: |2 ~" S
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..# r, w8 ~3 k7 O( D- p( W
: B3 X( n5 h3 q" zWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. 2 m8 ^& j* m0 d _# w3 z( M* D
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. $ a; l% g! {* `7 w2 [7 A
4 ^1 A2 D9 V3 Q1 _3 x+ |9 {/ V$ BRinse conditioner off hair.
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Shave armpits and legs.3 G, n1 @0 J+ y- `$ g
$ B0 J! d2 _& P+ n R* c: T2 U o+ [Turn off shower./ ~/ o! `3 @' @( S7 `6 K3 O8 G8 v
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. 9 V' @; V9 F9 f4 X% c' c# I
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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* H8 F# ~3 S" b1 p5 F" @$ w% ZHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: + K$ }4 C1 c- D- q: A
; L: [9 r) _, oTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 8 H8 N; v) w5 W7 q4 P; m
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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! s& i; N* @6 i! wIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror. 8 P2 D3 S# _# T/ i M3 A" _
! B* K" I, G/ }, s3 aAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. * A5 e) E* J" a
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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5 q8 x7 W5 f% q. |Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. ?/ f. | V1 {
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 3 a. J) G9 f$ s; x9 P x @) ?. q6 I
# o2 U; [7 W/ o0 @Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. . [; K1 R% w" e# `
# t* i! H/ f# F% o1 LWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. 4 l) E: K. q; ?5 \* z
/ M% q( g9 ^' y1 c- _/ }: J: K9 e' {Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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- Y& G K5 D: P5 V! \Pee. 9 S' G% d+ |+ Q: m
; j0 V- L2 A+ \7 o" wRinse off and get out of shower.
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* {1 u8 r: ?, b* @4 CPartially dry off.% @. d( i5 `" j) M" s& @! T7 ?
3 O( a; I4 o+ f6 q4 R lFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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6 h- V: l$ c" x( cAdmire wiener size in mirror again. + s5 W8 {3 z( ~) d# _
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. % T* r- a9 T! s% N/ Z
6 g% u! v- U5 D) i1 h' g5 QReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. 9 x3 a) j0 P: Y
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Throw wet towel on bed.
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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