埃德蒙顿华人社区-Edmonton China

 找回密码
 注册
查看: 4886|回复: 3

weekend happyness

[复制链接]
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new
' {" z# H! o2 {BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a
' f/ ~2 @6 i7 U  zBroni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window
& H6 h9 w! P- l+ v( t8 Gand asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your / r$ U. C: I" n% r' k+ t
flock, will you give me one?"7 G0 b5 L0 i3 b1 x* u

$ I0 r( r& G& }  Q1 O1 uThe shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his : [2 ^. \% s4 A+ Q
peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."
; z% u( c& M9 m. y8 a, |, v% ~" \9 t/ h5 j" V7 E' l
The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a
, y& ]! Y* n. ~/ dcell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a
# ~" T  C) @1 {5 n! w' BGPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database
8 o# y4 Q# N' T, w2 F8 g! Xand an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his
7 v+ s. q! h9 Q+ ~/ Z/ {5 EBlackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out : d. T0 [& @8 \- w% ]
a 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and $ T# y9 W( @" ~* y9 p+ q" U
says,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".
3 r! |3 U& W3 B
9 P" k& [6 D, G! n"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd.
+ A+ u9 R8 `% d; {8 L& R- ^& P8 [8 k4 r! q- z7 x( x
He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his
) Z! x4 O3 H: |) u& c6 e! _; Wcar.
5 M. \, }* @. v: F: J* b* y6 A# O/ b3 K
Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business * c( A" E1 W# w3 L- U0 M% a3 C
is, will you give me back my animal?"
, l. t: a: A  [; J- P. `" a$ [0 C3 C7 n2 z% s& R) B# A
"OK, why not" answered the young man.
0 s0 {( o- x! S* F0 w
9 k! F! m* W% ?7 ]8 l# u' y"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd.
5 P9 _1 G5 ~3 {1 r. p2 c2 k  }- S
"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
# Y% G9 f6 `( e+ Y) K# Z! B3 H7 o' A* O
"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although
1 o' F: r4 h2 o/ a  ^7 xnobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a ( A' S! A7 d% v6 n$ c) G6 n  M9 f
question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give
& L. z; W3 l$ S: Q2 t; [) @5 Qme back my dog".
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is
3 }( ~( p3 y4 ^# ^9 c+ v* H8 |undone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open". $ E- I0 _1 ~; T7 f( e. `7 A5 k
Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few
3 n8 [% j  w/ m3 N# Y3 u3 mmoments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper
1 H, v# K" H0 f$ Fwas undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran 2 g6 m% M" p/ j& K3 x6 [
into the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into ! X# C! s% P0 f: k& S+ W
her unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was
2 o* z+ y# Z- h8 ?open, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman 8 A( g7 \9 }0 C9 i5 j+ t
responded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle
, ~; `; f. _" O4 I6 `6 s" Ibags"
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons, : z6 E) ^5 J, E
where they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy.
" u& ]3 k3 b0 ?( J0 R$ I6 t+ _( h* e& h" {: S! n% M
The first man married a nurse. , D- ~' V" a% z* `/ m5 @7 X

% d+ ~, b% ]' WDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy.
1 e$ w' {) d8 m9 NNurses are known to be hot to trot"./ _0 ^% z6 ^/ _8 s
7 z+ V0 v+ i& T. A5 ^
The second man married a telephone operator. 8 a0 W+ H& t. q3 b. v. I

# A! e; L. h' L  y- P# kDave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one.
/ z5 R: @- l  q# m  X. y/ XTelephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top
2 D& S' O( Z1 H! \" ybutton...A-bomb.?
; P" m* h( p+ {' [
2 n% b$ E: k6 U" Q0 yThe third man married a school teacher.   w- A8 n+ \/ s9 p* E2 @# v4 ^
" \, b1 Q# P3 N3 }; ]
Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty
% M8 W  X$ I! y0 Y' l: f; _  C; _but teachers are just too frigid".
6 t8 f" |6 Z2 H7 x7 M% g1 X% n
" Q8 P  X% R2 D( U& F. H* R0 q' F+ WThe next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected 8 d2 W9 P; p% M/ N; u/ \
only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two : m3 V; g9 D" P: n0 z+ [( X5 C, {
would call much later in the day.
6 Z, @2 L' T( w. b7 k' v% D4 r+ C3 J- u/ r5 J  [+ j; S& v
At 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The # G- t+ i$ y* u* {
nurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's ( F- {% a1 c" b
pajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed. 0 B3 k8 p5 B  v

, C; g# P! E% M8 D, SDave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.
( R; ^, \$ N9 v& H
( J6 r; Q2 V$ J5 yThe man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night ; H! }+ |/ H" b) T
was her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."
! ]! U8 E% \: B9 Q
) K6 w( L: N' b! r& UAt 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.2 w4 I+ P3 S7 \! i

+ j) q- H% R/ B: F, A& v! `3 }The telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast / {( Q) k9 e9 U
as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back
# x- r& z$ d8 Fin shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.. |/ l% A, U- I+ _" _4 H, q
3 p6 g, V2 g, Q3 m) A) R( R' _+ f- w
Dave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as
1 |& r1 Z' r7 rtheir voices."
3 T& \' l! N- @6 |! R# ~1 ^  \+ R7 p, I% z( i' W5 J+ q- G7 _6 J. s
The man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I 6 _& H1 K: `% |8 B- y6 Q
heard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your 4 T4 y1 E" f0 _# G& G
three minutes are up." $ i, k7 w9 T4 Q* |
6 H+ l! ~; n$ \! v1 D
Dave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be
  E3 C9 \' n8 N# P) T' o" ^/ Tcalling any minute.
# [9 b$ b1 B! q) n% H0 I, l) f9 |
; v6 B2 I2 M; s" jFinally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.; m# h. K# [) J2 G9 D6 Z3 V# Y

9 X, K8 b  U, a7 P# IDave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The 4 C0 \5 _* W+ }1 |
man opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only
. y, o3 I) H! D% y. m8 u; ]his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and # U7 s4 y0 n  n6 S
legs.; s0 v, f3 @- L5 a/ K3 X
) d( r6 T* y7 B, ~
Joe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a
# M4 `9 F/ j1 ?, efight?" 5 ~8 N" u: {/ ~  [, p

$ X+ X6 h" ]; h3 O7 Q& Z7 D% V2 e2 GThe man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry
* ~* O- F: d: r) p. Ga school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We 4 e9 `! m. w0 L1 j6 }/ E2 ?
are going to do this over and over, until we get right."
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
您需要登录后才可以回帖 登录 | 注册

本版积分规则

联系我们|小黑屋|手机版|Archiver|埃德蒙顿中文网

GMT-7, 2026-5-2 00:57 , Processed in 0.132713 second(s), 11 queries , Gzip On, APC On.

Powered by Discuz! X3.4

Copyright © 2001-2021, Tencent Cloud.

快速回复 返回顶部 返回列表