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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new   B8 }% `  `/ ]7 S) C* k: @
BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a . n' {) U/ f4 ?+ c3 x0 g( u+ U4 @
Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window , A! Y+ B' c3 ]8 R
and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your
# K1 I1 t8 c* ?* G" H6 s, jflock, will you give me one?"
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The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his
* `3 V. }* w+ D# opeacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."
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8 z# L. m3 W) {+ H- e6 YThe yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a
. _( T! T, }* Z1 {cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a
; ~$ V4 E4 P  S, b. mGPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database
2 r4 H. P% d4 i+ sand an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his 2 Z% T+ j, r7 m$ |% h% Y; N
Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out
# Q2 ~0 p$ p( J, C$ y- _$ Ha 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and
3 Y' W# x  n) o# u  E, q# Lsays,"You have exactly 1586 sheep"." v4 a3 z; u7 @  S& T% p5 x
$ R: O" O& c2 ~/ e0 c, Q; U6 d, c
"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd. 9 J0 }- k4 @; m' Y( X
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He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his
0 j9 o9 b3 P7 }! @3 U4 U: T) g5 Wcar.
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0 G+ h; o* \' O3 r$ M: A9 LThen the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business
  ]# M; U* D; Zis, will you give me back my animal?"
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9 [) V( j( y: ?$ D7 s"OK, why not" answered the young man.4 e" j7 i/ d- w5 g1 G; N5 d
+ R3 O' U" p' c
"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd. & {# Y9 D) _" E# U4 f, q7 U( ?! O$ @

; g* y2 Q6 O% x$ A! x  D- d"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"+ N) S4 q, D: M1 K4 C0 n8 t

* t6 o$ m0 p1 z6 ~9 I"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although
1 \1 b! u. ?5 @$ f; S3 }# Vnobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a . @: O$ ?& o7 n0 v: ^7 {! D1 x/ z
question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give
* J9 o, O$ U) |# y1 rme back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is
6 s5 P3 K; r' r& x; @2 {. A3 dundone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open". ' `9 ]0 R' o5 c8 T4 P
Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few ( U5 G% R: S% }. r8 }3 }
moments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper
* i0 l/ d) F. N, }. S. j3 [6 r; t" Zwas undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran 6 `* V( _+ g1 F) A: {9 w
into the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into - E# p, A6 z9 P3 Q# g$ c( R
her unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was   W( B% P! U* W+ W3 O5 J3 v
open, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman 8 _( ?) t8 u) z! b0 f( Q) W
responded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle
3 _$ U& G2 R9 D! Bbags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons, + H* Y0 j' M7 J' f
where they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy.
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The first man married a nurse. ) U# J- H% J5 N8 ^

) a. H% V4 Q" P) b. [2 ^& ZDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy.
; N5 \/ B" t$ P5 a" ^) J2 j  U1 c% dNurses are known to be hot to trot".
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4 M  `. c9 J  J1 \. H! E, vThe second man married a telephone operator. : l( A3 o% L) M  F0 S* @

  Z. Z/ s4 Z) |, GDave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one. 9 \/ G3 L* G" ~: n) c
Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top + K+ r; W- c+ J- G, Y2 g/ Q$ v
button...A-bomb.?% _6 A" V, r7 n8 p5 K
8 A4 j# @, P; ~" d
The third man married a school teacher. 8 ]1 W4 h3 q8 N. g
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty
- C" @5 {5 |+ F, Y6 c& K  v: o$ Ebut teachers are just too frigid".2 n1 _1 ~, M* u( I8 `+ U
) l) N5 y# g% e5 m6 j
The next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected $ D8 Q/ W5 I% s- H. x! f& J  N
only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two
) n/ N" a2 C9 g9 Zwould call much later in the day.
, ?) E  T7 |+ Z1 o; F$ `8 }
% f# r0 ~" l# _. D0 ?At 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The
! z! T* h. G; a8 Jnurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's 0 J; l, n' X$ ^+ t- a( z
pajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed.
, {9 \: e) \! ?0 V9 r' v7 g' t& M2 K" y! ]# m6 w/ Q
Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.
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1 l) U9 _3 @8 M% NThe man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night
6 }% ]6 ^: x9 Q( _3 }was her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."
8 @3 G& _$ G; E* L) s
  }7 D( B0 `( f9 J8 XAt 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.: x/ L: G4 D$ V0 C- u8 o; s2 M
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The telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast * p8 r& B0 K! U$ b
as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back + x) s% s0 @- n( k3 D6 `
in shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.) H7 Z8 }' n) d- t! l

, X& P# g2 A5 y$ U4 ZDave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as 0 p  X1 @) X! x8 t( {2 Y1 H
their voices." ; E% j$ k$ o0 _& ]& z9 m# Z8 A

% G$ \8 Z( t8 q$ d( L) |The man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I ( z0 V  U# N0 e/ x. Z  f) V
heard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your
& k2 M; S6 u0 d) x1 k! j- ], q$ {* othree minutes are up." + S) }& l. `2 N
9 u, p" @' h& t3 H: H( N5 P2 g# P
Dave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be * U( e1 H. }# j( l
calling any minute.' a' S: g8 z9 n* c: n" r

- Q+ Y% T0 o8 w+ X6 J5 u5 IFinally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast., L! p5 _! ^! z- M" ]

, D  L" v" ]% ^% j) YDave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The
. I& _4 e$ s) k1 \( O. b7 q" \  G0 Vman opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only
' J) e, w  T# b4 G2 _his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and ' M9 W3 k# y- v2 u7 L0 T" y
legs.& T3 U1 p* u0 d+ o$ K
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Joe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a 3 A( O0 p" H( N) X& E' e5 s' z
fight?"
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2 c7 P' \- `3 e0 B8 zThe man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry 8 l2 {% Z: u  |% E# [
a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We # t9 Q5 f" `: ^9 h/ I
are going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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