Crazy English! Zt

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' u6 m5 M* ]: gCrazy English!

5 i& O, ?9 G5 K5 @* mWe'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.
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. f- f2 h7 ?. {/ W3 COne fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
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0 J" e6 R( f6 K1 ^0 E( VYou may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

& p  v: j. b" L% FIf the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

9 E6 F  q9 Y7 |3 U& ZIf I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?
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If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?

/ i6 F- r+ \$ qThen one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.

( Q5 y7 |4 M# i. _' U9 P5 xWe speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.
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Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.
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" V7 e& E' [* z3 }% X% q: x' |Let's face it, English is a crazy language!

There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.
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And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?
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Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?

If you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
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If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

& x, O) }0 ^3 z$ p0 c& [5 gIf a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
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In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
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Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
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& `3 F; O. D7 H. fHave noses that run and feet that smell?

1 F9 T+ ]$ P& R8 C% IHow can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
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) G6 ~7 e$ Y/ D4 T0 K' J  ]You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
( d9 |, W7 Z! QHouse burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!

; d9 k, m) J7 H: `& y9 h$ h, ASometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane