Crazy English! Zt

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! E% a6 N! C; I' WCrazy English!
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; p* E4 m2 c# ?( ]We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.

One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
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7 ~4 E2 L0 N+ m. T7 }6 pYou may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
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If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?
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( D: e6 j" s+ k' r# |If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?
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Then one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
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We speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.
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1 C) s1 K. s& lThen the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.

7 j, u5 [9 P3 h  U# G4 z0 ]$ pLet's face it, English is a crazy language!

1 N. @9 L$ f1 k, CThere is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.
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" A8 V0 E" a1 yAnd why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?

7 K3 y1 ~; X; @' s# J+ ]; {Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?

If you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?

/ O' ^  B) c: m& e% F4 BHave noses that run and feet that smell?
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How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
House burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!

8 ^- F2 \* Z! _5 ZSometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane