Crazy English! Zt

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+ f" ~1 O4 N& ]: i5 F6 D( N' vCrazy English!

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.
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- y1 N7 G  z, P! q* m5 }. COne fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
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You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
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% P9 ]+ R' e2 \. O/ V3 ^# b' qIf I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?

% z. h3 u3 D8 e; WIf one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?

8 c4 `8 N" S; Y% J) EThen one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.

4 K+ z  P7 Z( Y$ I7 [! G9 JWe speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.

- A' t4 p6 _* T4 R, l7 JThen the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.
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Let's face it, English is a crazy language!
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! k$ B* w, y6 q, d$ _0 y' R# oThere is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.
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And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?
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Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?
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If you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

) G& t  Y" s, w7 n$ x9 FIf teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
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' s; L% D+ O# b% L" f7 D" a2 S' w1 iIn what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

  D' J5 V, }1 b( Z' `Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
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Have noses that run and feet that smell?
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+ j) A5 ]' M& S9 O& b% O0 LHow can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
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" L! U+ C* u: I- }9 j! O# CYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
House burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!
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Sometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane