Crazy English! Zt

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Crazy English!
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) X$ O7 y" o! l2 rWe'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.
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One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
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You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
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; K; U2 i$ l9 c4 Y# Z& y2 F+ eIf the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
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If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?
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1 N- k5 |& ?6 X' tIf one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?
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/ }0 ^( x! T' [1 {2 mThen one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.

' A. p" U2 }( _: x# r: U3 j% C( XWe speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.
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Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.

Let's face it, English is a crazy language!
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3 d: r- x' \2 B+ V& L+ R4 U, ~There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.
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And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?
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3 r2 C, S3 C& [4 Y$ iDoesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?

If you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
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If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
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& U0 M, _) R3 H- {+ L" x' aIn what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?

8 k9 {( V  m5 p) I$ [5 l6 |Have noses that run and feet that smell?

- f: B4 i4 b( k1 YHow can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

# Z. V% o0 F4 O. gYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
! u) [) d8 ?, Y/ MHouse burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!

Sometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane