Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
: p! h6 ~4 {! B3 `" yDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


  o, ]6 }% p  m0 q- D) y) TJOB DESCRIPTION:
3 z/ D3 h0 Y9 sLong term, team players needed for challenging,
( v$ X2 C- ?- }& j
7 W6 ?* c5 c* B% I& P$ [9 gpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
- v" w: g1 ?; S+ vCandidates must possess excellent communication
" m+ ]* v& z  t, k  x! ~and organizational skills and be willing to work
8 ]  P- e9 @( Uvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
3 ~* ~+ a) O" _- ?8 eSome overnight travel required, including trips to
! e% ]3 F  Q' b  x2 V* ^- Eprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
+ T& T# _( C2 E/ i* u; u5 cendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
1 R1 V) c1 A1 ~4 U0 uTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

4 }' ^, @# ]6 }/ @RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
& F$ h. Y6 S! LMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
4 L& z% ^" _3 xuntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
2 F; S$ U1 j0 [1 D1 gand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
4 v0 [' \, i3 W; P) ?' zand stuck zippers.
" B9 e3 p, D! H- @. S( ]Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
; z# K) v9 y' e9 l  H% Lan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
$ d; R5 E: {( S# Jhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
; K- p3 y1 r* L2 N. l8 [0 ^* bMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
8 n5 k( P# g! d0 eResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
3 B+ y/ k. c$ X$ ljanitorial work  throughout the facility.

4 D% A7 q4 N* ]- {" @! QPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
. j9 d! o) ^' q& oNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
  z4 I7 Y9 B/ }/ Q. ^0 cwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
( J% B) u; }0 }updating your skills, so that those in your charge
, F& ?8 V; {. R+ x% a9 F9 Q5 g5 Y3 Scan ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
+ P! `; h( Y0 x7 @. g: T/ fNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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$ D+ t3 v  M: y8 Q, h" HWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
1 ]1 w4 `4 W& r$ x; B3 U- zGet this! You pay them!
8 F1 D- P1 K& N) j) w2 H! ?Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
3 I& ~  ?- u& \  Ea balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
& u! |" P9 c% t9 O  Sof the assumption that college will help them
" A7 U2 j/ ]% Kbecome financially independent.
/ s: I. ^3 ?! w: P, vWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
" [. Z; S" a2 \! o$ I8 |4 jThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

# t! r, e0 V) H- O' I2 ^BENEFITS:
4 ?. \& A% c8 L9 e6 w1 X) T" T: ]5 BWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
: g6 Q; y9 m9 `no stock options are offered,
/ d9 S" E; q0 q  gthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
2 i. m, A( u, K: x2 L
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

5 q' h8 Q1 z" [for life if you play your cards right.
& @& M& [! ?& J6 [

! u+ J  D" G3 z4 {+ T5 |

** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


  O$ G) t5 ]% d8 S4 g- b
. V5 A2 R- y' `0 h; u' u0 qForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
7 ^. k) s9 ^" I. ~/ Q" Q. pfor the fabulous job they do...
0 ^: w1 \$ o. n' l2 bor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.