Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
+ L2 {# u0 A0 F0 G- Q3 xDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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; M! }' z: c1 L( c4 @/ Tpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
  M: g% g- I' n6 d* jCandidates must possess excellent communication
. j; o! T% ~1 |) o8 c* }7 Y2 cand organizational skills and be willing to work
  y* e9 m* A- T( k) k# r, P2 {. Z& |variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
2 B5 {, h$ m1 x' tTravel expenses not reimbursed.
$ @: O2 c- F1 L( M. R7 e, ]- RExtensive courier duties also required.

$ X5 k' [5 K# J& YRESPONSIBILITIES:
- u8 n2 Q$ c( v& WThe rest of your life.
6 K) Q  S3 Y1 u6 W* Z$ xMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
% B5 O3 B: b0 N5 U' luntil someone needs $5.
1 `5 P" r+ ~$ R1 ]) iMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
) @% o/ A' s0 S) a6 ncoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
" u6 ]( M- [( }1 {( ]0 o, ?an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
" x& O  B/ ^& K: V* mhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
/ t' t, N" j! z  y, I9 {7 C+ RMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

! I) X+ d4 [! f. ZPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
/ ?$ D& u: n' v" |None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
9 h) n! Q3 D% P. I+ \( ewithout complaining,constantly retraining and
2 b) x& z: l8 q+ u5 |updating your skills, so that those in your charge
! e8 H8 }" N. T2 Q. [  N. ccan ultimately surpass you.
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! b% E% e; O, }PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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7 J: ]2 `) s& q; J4 L3 I, qWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
  A. O! k, M" {* w' w% X8 POffering frequent raises and bonuses.
3 U  {9 ^, G, ~9 Ja balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
$ i' ^! H5 W% M2 P5 w( s1 l+ e4 Pbecome financially independent.
5 ~- F3 A2 b, M# D5 kWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
; j  C4 p# k' u3 W* RWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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# ?8 Q& O( y4 \. k. aunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.
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' |2 \' Q; }  [  P  ]2 ?4 V** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.