Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
0 B1 Z  o! n2 y% v  DDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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6 p# x( D7 `# d3 K: }JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
% J9 K# H9 q5 SCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
; r. u9 k) z! A  |! o& {2 zSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
; P) a, c/ ^+ a- P! I6 M( ?& mendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
6 y; a0 v; u1 Y& L" p+ A) y5 LExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
+ s0 M4 c, N3 m+ z6 N, rMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
2 D" b( I: {4 f2 L: Buntil someone needs $5.
( B- n  e. Y! ]1 {* y9 C6 T4 G$ k$ iMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
4 Y1 h% k; t4 {5 D+ ]. @Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
8 r; @6 q& }" Rand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
0 t8 h7 z6 q5 fin case, this time, the screams from
4 a+ K) {. F. M# s6 c1 }+ t- Vthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
6 i' L7 h2 Q8 j$ N6 T. [3 BMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
* C5 q0 W5 Y1 _  msuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
2 l: b& k% t+ h0 J' zand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
8 S% ~6 f$ v6 E4 gcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
/ L# c! j/ X0 |* {, SMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
4 q8 O  e- j, l& ?4 q* pMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
5 D& N8 {5 X0 r4 G8 j# Y! VMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
3 x) \; A/ g% g1 B8 }' t2 Khalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
9 ]* B1 t, f7 j9 |0 XMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
! j3 Z; i" A1 i; Q. _Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
4 r6 G; ?" M% L" i; {4 d4 K7 O+ I; ]janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
. L. C! R% P  b# R$ W9 iNone.
$ u" g7 r( B2 SYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
. X; V2 _' e5 A; S7 d  qupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
( v1 ?- e+ ]$ H7 t/ k- ?can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

9 A! n; O1 d0 P" V% k0 dWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
. {. y' Z8 w9 Ia balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
' w  ~! {6 t, Bof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
1 ~. s8 _  E3 V. ?9 T5 s" q1 {When you die, you give them whatever is left.
$ ~8 G( A$ y; dThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
" t, u- U/ P/ F7 ~$ |. i. f% SWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
; x4 Y) O( n9 q% Dthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
+ i. Y8 W( w9 l
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

8 m; J# p1 X) \% Q1 Efor life if you play your cards right.

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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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6 m7 _$ c6 F1 ^Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
7 a6 n- f, D/ Z: R' Rletting them know they are appreciated
$ O( ]* e! @9 p, F+ X3 F/ c* Ffor the fabulous job they do...
- T6 |" H* `0 f; Z# U) X0 Q& sor forward with love
: l# r, W6 ~, W! bto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.