Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
$ B% X* D: K( x; l- `Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

# `  K! A, U& M$ opermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
9 u4 _$ _0 O/ W% W9 s" z" uCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
8 w/ _* b( |" j/ Mvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
3 e! r% E8 ]. J/ ~4 k1 T: yprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
" f4 q7 z/ l5 M( D8 ^( zendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
  q1 h& A3 u6 g
! E, _9 V" P" \6 M! ~5 mRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
4 m  z5 r6 T8 e' Muntil someone needs $5.
' q3 o% N( N3 o1 B" PMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
# l4 s9 c1 ~8 v; V3 iand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
! a* E8 y% C$ C+ R3 ?* r6 Tthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
( y; d- |% M) n+ N' q* ]Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
: N  ~7 {4 ]/ asuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
9 ^& d# Y% w* r: Scoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
: F* y. Y6 z* W; XMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
! i2 j; @$ A+ o4 w) jan embarrassment the next.
4 \- A, _7 ~4 G. I" w$ jMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
9 N5 b' L7 s9 V4 I8 [) e) h1 UMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
, B0 D1 @$ o0 N6 y. p) B( I1 rResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
: b# A4 a" I) ^/ K  ~janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
% @. m# m6 D3 H$ wNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
/ T: O. Q. [& Y+ wwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
2 _! L$ @' y2 U/ u

# @8 s$ I# C3 N+ e, e" fPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
1 r+ j( @  Y; z6 n8 D, aNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
7 n! ]4 C# A0 Y2 e: e1 Y- K* UGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
4 T9 H9 n2 y# X/ l+ B: H$ T; D0 Sof the assumption that college will help them
; Y0 y2 F1 J1 Rbecome financially independent.
) a( M( U% h9 J. k+ M6 R- C. dWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
1 ?" w1 }7 M3 H4 z4 YThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
8 X! R' |6 [7 H9 ?) X4 _. R+ ]" G6 Jyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
1 \$ P8 @) M- W. c: o2 b3 S" TWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
1 }) o% z; s0 g6 n+ P6 C) wthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

  T/ S% F, T# v- j5 l( R: Y5 Zunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
) U6 T' ]% Q6 L  B" ^8 B2 e$ J0 o* R
( J" C3 R, |1 Y- cfor life if you play your cards right.




** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
# X) v8 `" _! Qfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
8 y1 y: \5 q* v" [( b, X9 I1 e9 ]
6 m8 I* a. J8 M8 U& e1 M( @1 u

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.