Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
" y6 x- j6 x, `1 {. i- P4 kMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
6 U3 i* G% X0 h9 CLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
: P1 N0 Y: {# D( e6 nCandidates must possess excellent communication
& z2 R3 w* O4 q) q7 S8 Kand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
! y7 q1 [( u/ @' i# M- n. u- D  band frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
" B) ^" T$ d% c  C" rprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
" m' K$ l: |5 K" ~% gendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
; p- _* D. @6 R# i) Q% gTravel expenses not reimbursed.
( l; F  |2 q6 H4 u* x! AExtensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
, Y( Q. ?  A  b$ @$ c, yMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
. ~$ L& Q: d$ iMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
3 E0 Q' {9 K. kAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
3 j8 q. d7 f# e& a6 w; u, Zand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
. d% I) ]3 r0 \" K& i; yin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
  ^* c2 S/ C! N* R& O4 U( ?and stuck zippers.
1 Z( \# M  U$ H- P2 ZMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
( ~! U, n3 L9 r# V7 N! VMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
3 Y3 V, h3 n7 [! pMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
9 J& @+ Q- F1 zMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
  T, q1 j: b5 m9 b9 v, W, ohalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
/ s( ^* T+ n2 u/ G4 L4 nMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
: _, ^3 |5 F. d' j7 PMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
" }, f" s5 s& h7 ^: T9 `# K$ \Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
/ S( c- {- a% j  HNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
$ n9 x: I- ^4 {3 Fupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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% p) {6 {( m+ r( ?8 xPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

; K# o2 C6 K: @( L0 OWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
5 w9 L3 Y+ y" Y9 R" U4 kGet this! You pay them!
2 A. @+ A8 E/ U" mOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
2 {+ V- t, O  D1 a9 Y0 ^, M  Ya balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
2 I* K& E+ w# vof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
1 v5 B& s/ G9 jyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
7 v& M5 |8 J# g- @  t8 H7 _4 cno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
) Y4 f; m6 f( W( v, z1 H* Rno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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" _, x* N' s( N% o$ c: K2 Xfor life if you play your cards right.



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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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' a1 ?, s3 w+ R7 g( T2 J3 [: t/ D  oForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
) @+ P# r5 c! m4 n. o' mletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.