Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
8 x. N) t6 a# ~1 c6 V3 [: s' ?Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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3 `3 p1 f) {* |1 g- X% p* \JOB DESCRIPTION:
8 E" S5 d# t0 ]0 @/ dLong term, team players needed for challenging,

: U, l- u3 b1 w- _permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
& b0 K' s% E, z. yvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
# i) z& R% T0 X: u, U& ~primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
+ ], g& N; `. v! p& i% rendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
. W) q, X' V. O- ^Travel expenses not reimbursed.
5 b# F7 ]" }) r: N* wExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
- V+ O2 u; k2 Y$ T7 O5 G6 PThe rest of your life.
, P5 K2 {3 a. {5 h# [Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
9 Y+ {/ Q! C# s+ wuntil someone needs $5.
0 u0 y: O9 T% Y) u6 v2 M" s* nMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
( K! R2 y/ x! n! y$ N6 U0 C& LAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
$ B( U2 r+ }9 g! SMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
& M% o0 c& I: ^& mMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
  B5 z; q% l0 Ghalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
, X" N4 J5 W1 nMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
1 A/ X' t/ @/ B. Bthe quality of the end product.
# I* z2 O# j/ L& Z: ?" S, FResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
: z! S2 o1 b5 f$ _4 B/ xjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

/ F, z5 w7 T/ Q1 T3 {0 @% pPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
7 d7 `$ z* h/ c" mNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
( D3 q) ?3 [$ _7 O% W) vcan ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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7 x$ w( S" U3 ^. d9 xWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
$ T; X: X# f/ Z' [/ u% vOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
1 H& ~- ]) G9 pa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
3 T# k0 Z9 p8 E# ~$ ?1 E- v9 V9 Y+ q) Dbecome financially independent.
- o1 w8 e8 `" l5 c# z8 j4 vWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
1 o+ X9 M: f" \/ ]$ h& uThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
- q! T  T8 L9 u9 z- A2 m' ^6 Yyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
* J9 E- D& k9 b. ?( a3 _( R# p# Hno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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; r" I1 b2 y5 s6 o: I/ S! Ounconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
: C+ J  A" {  U/ E, B1 }# v% Qletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
2 J/ H3 q7 i: Z4 |or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.