 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe., O$ q5 d* D7 q$ U
8 V0 C% O, S1 P; b. m t
I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.1 O5 W9 O8 p; Z2 N
' P9 ~, u! Z+ h& e9 g) V$ YI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years., }' s6 B) r" [
6 X/ C# S# z' ~% _* f7 T7 ~" s
I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:" Y% R& _( b; L5 B
2 ]+ u. A! s2 G# u' h
"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
- u+ C8 v g- j/ x1 ~4 m9 K/ r, e+ Z; i2 T8 v
I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
) P8 t2 S! ]1 o# J" R
: }% g8 N- r' _1 b$ N. BAnd the second one was:+ g( |* ^2 S W4 ~! X; ~0 N
3 m/ p; \' W) H, A3 g% Y2 s" F"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
4 j$ h) C/ A. e% Y
" G) x9 s+ l }+ N& Y0 fI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
, w7 g4 j0 N& ` C6 a" t, T, e* w( X$ X* ~
"What is Roe vs. Wade?") w3 i# Y% T6 G1 p0 z
' ^& H1 n \) S! ^) x9 r
I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?1 l* m @ k4 A' W0 t. s( ~! K1 i
8 i2 p- q1 X6 i4 X9 z: G/ @7 s mI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
0 W& e3 A8 m: j$ g- \4 C6 m, i- g* R" U6 E/ |- A* K& n5 ^# d- e- X
I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
+ P, }) Q4 i* `* a' w3 S
0 K8 U1 G' j1 j. ?So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"1 @ C- D) y8 h3 A, N' x9 j, h. M
- Y# t% i5 B: XNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
' |5 \9 t, @ i# g
% w7 K8 f7 z, z+ o2 n4 XThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.$ w4 r8 S/ k: \, m
" a* i4 d: e+ t/ {1 M# UThank you very much!
/ y( c) Q/ n' K/ A; R
/ K3 W7 [& w1 u5 Y& _==========================
; K0 W) U+ G4 x1 r$ E. H+ G( _6 r7 f* g, n
Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
! q, O5 J$ }: ]- D
0 \* a }+ e* m3 R, |1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.% Y. B o& f& r6 {
& J7 Y( D# N9 `, c* Q2 P. q: w2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.! ]8 [- H" s; V: x" e" F" V
) F' c4 I! s& z% S' }4 d2 X
"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.$ b6 g; F5 v o, C9 M# r& y3 g
4 t! A3 J _' w
Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
! v: |: i. A9 v+ m$ ~
' W6 B- V$ h+ m3 }4 t+ Q0 S% l1 vRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US./ Q, O8 f1 M0 k% J% H$ e/ S5 G8 s
8 R I9 o8 `' Q1 }) X7 E) l$ OThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
|