 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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* C9 j" v3 |5 sI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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# k1 B+ M- u6 S: ^7 r- G% c0 Q7 lI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.% i3 K6 J% o L( Z% G1 {' s
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:$ e* U1 K% [6 b$ U1 N
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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7 c9 V3 P: f& i: ~I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?8 M8 P$ V" T+ Z. }7 Z$ z# G1 E9 Q
8 R* ~0 V" x: LAnd the second one was:9 y* @9 }! ^8 w
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?# L' e( Z) |* [6 X
- d- U* o2 L. K4 x) x/ U1 c"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?6 q1 r; X( G1 c ]
) P j- q# t! w! ^6 L, aI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!* O9 W1 n( e3 E2 [) T4 d
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"/ G% k4 T! ~3 g
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much!2 S4 n! S: M$ q' Y" y0 K
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, @9 o9 U6 {; T4 Z* b' O" lImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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. p3 H& l) i: _0 G4 M) m6 e1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.2 E: z1 o) Q8 {) H9 ~$ M/ Y' Z) b
5 ?# g% h( Q2 @. d5 r1 \5 ]0 X2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.# a" C5 ?/ c# f, p' o% f; R
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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6 B* ` F {, O1 P7 zJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
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发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
