 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.9 I* x) a' C. o8 [& Y5 ?; }
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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3 K% F, P' \: [, i3 U* H; G"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed? x5 h5 F) n4 s( \9 X1 v' ]
* M8 G" _) ^/ |) \3 X+ `% NAnd the second one was:2 d1 L; [+ V: k" C2 V- n
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?") \+ d* j" ]! r% `# ~* i' Z/ d6 n
5 c- |' e. b# gI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?2 ~4 D: H8 o4 `# E
- _/ V( S+ Y; ]5 z"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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5 ?9 L/ h( h- @+ h$ W; h; I5 @I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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4 Q5 ^* F4 S# y/ U# A& }9 }" y0 m6 TI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!* @, y. O' d- K# _1 h9 @# l
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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2 S7 I; p4 w4 H# [. L4 RSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"5 k! W& T7 t: _9 ]
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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: p: W0 |# g9 TThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.0 b& q& L' X& h' Q. l
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Thank you very much!7 m d' ~# V9 b7 p0 E
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4 n; T7 R( H9 X/ yImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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7 D8 K. y% `4 g% [1 R7 m, C" T" q" M6 T3 d1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.9 S5 ]1 y$ d7 t; V9 N
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.9 O% q8 l2 ^$ |/ q
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States"./ y( I. n- Z! f' n6 Q
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.& y( d9 W; |5 c% L
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
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发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
