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黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

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鲜花(19) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.$ o0 [$ X$ S5 m. _
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.% n* o% N6 A) G$ f0 M! y
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:# l4 L# a( V# X
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"0 F3 q6 f% L" ^% Z
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?. O" v6 B1 i; F! x4 x

7 c$ V& V/ l( }' ]& Z- E/ r0 bAnd the second one was:
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% k/ i3 Z% }" m"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?, J8 p( Y& F# g* x" s

( Q: x) O' k3 O$ t9 P7 p"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?- Q% c  {0 ?. W7 D& p3 ~) s. p
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!/ x+ d: |% d# T' k1 p( J

# m% m' i8 y4 Y7 z9 oI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"& U7 K! B3 {( f6 w

2 B. H- M; I& u, G) j8 u; @Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”' D: L! f# a7 ~. ^6 u  Q
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.! B3 Y5 F4 X& E; w9 ]8 j
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Thank you very much!7 x* y( v6 ^: \2 f$ J- z  k

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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:8 F" C" T$ n' e4 p
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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: X4 g' F& D3 p2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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; B  d0 h/ S  c' z"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".: {& ?# `( Q( A' i1 a1 L
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.7 p0 z: s; `$ k8 [+ c3 H
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39 | 显示全部楼层
the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means:
# `2 g4 Q, q& L' X, i" M4 O8 Ja young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子(尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的).
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-5 22:28 | 显示全部楼层
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-6 06:55 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 08:35 | 显示全部楼层
this guy is really cool.
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:12 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
7 y' g2 g4 V: |+ k: n6 q: H: D怎么理解?
8 m5 w  T- G8 ~9 y50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
6# cyz0116 ( i$ e1 b" ^* Y+ Z, j8 i

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不离婚,白头到老
大型搬家
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 10:33 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
7 _+ h- b. P7 f9 `  o怎么理解?
9 t* ~% g, @! U5 ]" \50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
' s8 |9 U% e6 Fcyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12
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* _' r6 Q' O- E' M/ P% b! _我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高,(因为他害怕婚姻)可能他离不了婚吧。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 11:37 | 显示全部楼层
8# 朝阳
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7 ~+ P& O! c) E) D我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-7 19:59 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看,觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了,好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲,不一定是梦想,却有可能是噩梦
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 12:12 | 显示全部楼层
表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的,越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。
鲜花(22) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 21:06 | 显示全部楼层
东瞅瞅,西侃侃.
大型搬家
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