黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

十年移民路_

Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.

I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.

8 P% e( T- \3 b1 ^I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.

: A) r) V. K6 uI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:

' }# P4 ~  Y, b; Z- z) |9 t( ]"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
: [" k7 L1 E' i* K, H$ s, x
I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
# J1 e* z" Y+ e8 `8 _* a! n
0 m5 z$ i" m/ M' y2 lAnd the second one was:
  W, {( a7 \; e; `3 ^
6 ?$ G5 f8 }/ m"What's the 2nd Amendment?"

% F* n! p3 x+ @/ o6 ~I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
' u. P9 C1 r0 e; ]' U+ Q
3 ?+ K+ ~6 `! S4 r& Q7 E& ?"What is Roe vs. Wade?"

3 A2 U3 u5 }0 i0 L6 u1 |" xI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?

I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
: s' t( a! i; ^* e
I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
% }( X8 O$ e: d% Z
7 Q7 E( `8 i# J/ t# Q- SSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
/ h; N6 P% T- m9 }6 L0 k1 t
Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
1 J  X* f6 A+ X
$ v8 d3 x% q- f7 c: R4 s# sThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
! _4 J9 N+ \8 }1 w
Thank you very much!
' I. j: W  D2 N6 p+ E( b
' x. _" |' ?5 Y# b. k==========================
" P; X: U- O; R5 c
" Z  n# L4 x( cImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:

( k, Y4 Q6 W9 H6 A3 s- U1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
3 a% E: b8 R/ f* f
2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
( Q5 u+ o' Y# Z$ ]; n
) m" v. Z2 M8 Y3 c  `"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
* S7 u, ]$ J4 j) T
/ V. g( D8 A2 u' v5 [Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
# o& g  ?6 m/ M* w9 h& s9 u
Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
- s( o& d7 V' G3 ~# f9 x
The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".

billzhao

the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means:
a young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子（尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的）.

cyz0116

THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.

billzhao

朝阳

this guy is really cool.

cyz0116

50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
怎么理解？
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒？

Tara2009

6# cyz0116


4 ?+ x* l3 n) O5 w不离婚，白头到老

朝阳

50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
怎么理解？
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒？
cyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12

我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高，（因为他害怕婚姻）可能他离不了婚吧。

Tara2009

8# 朝阳

我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。

billzhao

同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看，觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了，好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲，不一定是梦想，却有可能是噩梦

Tara2009

表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的，越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。

陕西闺女

东瞅瞅,西侃侃.