 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.$ o0 [$ X$ S5 m. _
& l2 j# ^! M2 i/ B0 y2 `
I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
" }( H! ?' R7 X0 [+ g3 A1 ~4 O: S8 g+ [$ o2 Q7 f
I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.% n* o% N6 A) G$ f0 M! y
* ]4 n3 ~+ f3 e2 j2 V- n% O
I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:# l4 L# a( V# X
$ I. n% ^8 X7 j5 ~% x8 e- Z
"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"0 F3 q6 f% L" ^% Z
6 N' y6 j& p5 h7 f( Q
I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?. O" v6 B1 i; F! x4 x
7 c$ V& V/ l( }' ]& Z- E/ r0 bAnd the second one was:
$ D2 [/ M6 L8 z6 `
% k/ i3 Z% }" m"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
0 Z% x; q& Y" ]6 _9 C$ u% F% x% U b1 ~* |! T
I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?, J8 p( Y& F# g* x" s
( Q: x) O' k3 O$ t9 P7 p"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
' [# K9 i& d1 Y- p# L3 T7 S& e5 |7 h. f. Y( E- }; @3 a
I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?- Q% c {0 ?. W7 D& p3 ~) s. p
2 R; X; @& B/ q+ J1 q" m/ Y* K! g) B
I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!/ x+ d: |% d# T' k1 p( J
# m% m' i8 y4 Y7 z9 oI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
3 S' L( _7 |+ e% u0 s9 ?/ ^1 E& q9 i2 I& @9 Q1 q
So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"& U7 K! B3 {( f6 w
2 B. H- M; I& u, G) j8 u; @Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”' D: L! f# a7 ~. ^6 u Q
6 v4 v4 J4 ^ n) u" Q/ W; P* p
This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.! B3 Y5 F4 X& E; w9 ]8 j
0 ^8 @) H0 Q2 ^1 J
Thank you very much!7 x* y( v6 ^: \2 f$ J- z k
" m6 o+ L& `: E( D0 y4 z==========================+ S2 Y/ {3 {. _+ H u
; _: f# P: p- s! l3 ~
Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:8 F" C" T$ n' e4 p
% P/ J l" j" p1 @+ H
1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
2 s4 Q: Q0 w6 `" p& v6 X
: X4 g' F& D3 p2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
, K4 t" g! C" n5 T+ C" C. N
; B d0 h/ S c' z"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
3 |! O$ d4 n. w# n: ~' ]0 q' \. l; x! A3 P9 J! I
Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".: {& ?# `( Q( A' i1 a1 L
. F V9 k. f' |# K+ W
Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.7 p0 z: s; `$ k8 [+ c3 H
/ V, O5 c! E9 X2 z7 W/ D, _& X
The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
|