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黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

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鲜花(19) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.% m' T2 S7 \+ x# }
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.3 W7 Z, X, T! h* g$ D8 ~
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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- K/ y0 U8 I- A8 b; Q4 l4 T9 _& n"Who's Benjamin Franklin?", U; x  u+ Z9 C) j* M
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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* {! O/ N. M% ?* {0 b0 y$ PI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?- x8 V& k, r7 ~5 [1 s/ k2 B5 R
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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$ M( p! k$ j) F* O/ @I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!. [4 n# ^7 K6 B: h5 W

/ w6 I2 f9 q" v1 N; CI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"# H3 B: a: i3 G" M# L1 \6 V

' L2 G9 [9 R; ], ?Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much!) B9 P6 G4 W! @, B
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==========================
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2 H' k* e( d8 C7 S, D$ R7 TImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.7 f0 e+ U: n; h8 \# Y
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.0 @+ C* V. q! O* X: J
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.* Q: Y8 f: O3 g8 M+ ^$ B7 A
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".0 t2 E, S  q$ j. }* B( r! b2 d
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.; E" z$ B6 H3 V4 A2 `  O
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39 | 显示全部楼层
the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means:
+ M% Q: K8 B2 I2 v/ r9 La young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子(尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的).
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-5 22:28 | 显示全部楼层
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-6 06:55 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 08:35 | 显示全部楼层
this guy is really cool.
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:12 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。( y- l4 T; Z0 r  k
怎么理解?! e0 a, k& e9 z( k1 e4 F+ R4 C6 ?
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
理袁律师事务所
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
6# cyz0116
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不离婚,白头到老
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 10:33 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。2 X( P% q+ L7 u6 o5 L% ?
怎么理解?* L% M: F# @# }- G4 T$ [
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
5 ~  P$ d1 i* R9 ocyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12

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我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高,(因为他害怕婚姻)可能他离不了婚吧。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 11:37 | 显示全部楼层
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我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。
大型搬家
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-7 19:59 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看,觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了,好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲,不一定是梦想,却有可能是噩梦
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 12:12 | 显示全部楼层
表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的,越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。
鲜花(22) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 21:06 | 显示全部楼层
东瞅瞅,西侃侃.
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