 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.% m' T2 S7 \+ x# }
+ k* a( k* `6 y; V; Y" b
I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
- ~/ @" r S. a6 c; d9 d2 n1 c/ u7 m1 {, ~" G
I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.3 W7 Z, X, T! h* g$ D8 ~
' j" K& o6 c8 A) S3 {
I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
2 ?7 H% X% b0 ?/ K8 w) O
- K/ y0 U8 I- A8 b; Q4 l4 T9 _& n"Who's Benjamin Franklin?", U; x u+ Z9 C) j* M
4 E. W$ O1 L3 V7 a( _' C
I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
( C F: f, c( _: S$ b( _* [7 V6 E; I% y' f3 x
And the second one was:
# | [' z X6 _7 ~ H. ~, j9 C. j# Y
"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
6 i3 b! Q5 y' X7 l" z- N
* {! O/ N. M% ?* {0 b0 y$ PI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?- x8 V& k, r7 ~5 [1 s/ k2 B5 R
8 H5 S" P5 n% O/ T6 S8 w
"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
# k! C- K- u7 S0 L1 C7 B9 O# u4 K) E6 a' c P: G1 l4 |
I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
1 a6 T1 [6 N/ w8 u% \+ ?
$ M( p! k$ j) F* O/ @I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!. [4 n# ^7 K6 B: h5 W
/ w6 I2 f9 q" v1 N; CI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
1 T+ A$ ~8 \% D9 X5 I k- U, ^8 a4 \5 }" `1 i% G
So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"# H3 B: a: i3 G" M# L1 \6 V
' L2 G9 [9 R; ], ?Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
- s1 j3 |, \4 V- s3 F" x; g7 Y' x4 m) v% V
This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
. ~, n* H( f g; ?- `6 O2 }9 P" ?7 u& H8 B2 c/ V1 }. G2 n, ?
Thank you very much!) B9 P6 G4 W! @, B
+ K# @$ L7 B) Z7 ^' X# f$ H
==========================
7 {3 Z Y0 N+ r4 q3 h) x) L5 W! [; X" t
2 H' k* e( d8 C7 S, D$ R7 TImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
+ } i+ h8 I6 X7 L' r9 b y! q$ D9 Q, U( a
1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.7 f0 e+ U: n; h8 \# Y
2 e) }- E* s$ y6 [( b
2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.0 @+ C* V. q! O* X: J
7 r" {7 n, D3 n/ H$ o( u
"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.* Q: Y8 f: O3 g8 M+ ^$ B7 A
0 W3 q z ]" s# X
Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".0 t2 E, S q$ j. }* B( r! b2 d
* T; {% g1 ^) F; g
Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.; E" z$ B6 H3 V4 A2 ` O
u; Y# @2 `+ w
The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
|