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The Washington Post publishes a yearly contest in which readers are asked to invent alternate meanings for various words.
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The following were some of this year’s winning entries: % G- p& ?) A. g# b; A l% ]' @4 _
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1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon. 6 w4 ~( ], ?" f7 J% B8 t. ]4 S6 H
1 D/ _3 K4 L' ]5 ^$ u" X' Q- K; n$ r2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have .
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V- |6 {5 ]3 h3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. $ x$ y. y# L- q C
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4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
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5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent
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6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie.
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1 r& O- z2 L4 a {4 r- d/ w7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp. ( X/ ]& E: ?$ @) H. x1 p
" g2 U! \- K2 x6 l4 F; e0 S8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavoured mouthwash. $ {" ?7 [* `( k, o. i/ [) H/ | W
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9. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
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" h- Q+ ]. t9 G+ k" p) @10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
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3 B( ]' t; V; g; S6 E G1 A11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
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" `0 c8 _" _; i: E/ s12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanour assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you. 9 b" [1 W/ y) t$ `2 d. {+ b0 v
( b% D. q& i, q5 v7 z2 T& A13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions. $ b2 J! u4 p! B$ o4 a+ \
$ j. e: ^! r! ^14. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.
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7 N3 K# m$ ?0 e' f2 k$ `7 c' E15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there. " S5 R. f4 Z# z0 D# A( _
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16. Pokemon (n.), A Jamaican proctologist. |
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发表于 2009-12-2 14:01
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