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Tiger s Holiday Poem
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Twas the night of Thanksgiving and out of the house
# `. c' H# X: Q# V' JTiger Woods came a flyin', chased by his spouse.
* Q& d& }4 Y) l( z; e# h, u' gShe wielded a nine iron and wasn't too merry,
( Z; I& r% d0 J" ]Cause a bimbo’s phone number was in his Blackberry." i! i k$ [6 q! ]) @3 B( ]
He’d been cheatin' on Elin, and the story progressed.; H# t% E( f! r
Woman after woman stepped up and confessed.
1 V8 d) |' Z. W3 r0 q) | x: G$ uHe’d been cheatin’ with Holly, and Jaimee, and Cori,
( ]9 ^8 ]: c6 x1 n5 f0 o. o* o: L2 `With Joselyn, and Kalika. The world had the story.9 K( C- T0 M# I& ~ r
From the top of the Tour to the basement of blues,
; _, h* N# D) n8 JTiger’s sad sordid tale was all over the news.
9 F2 c+ \6 o6 _With hostesses, waitresses, he had lots of sex,* F1 `# ?0 V( Z, R4 {" ~
When not in their pants, he was sendin' them texts.6 T* \- |8 V) |) b$ G
Despite all his cryin’ and beggin' and pleadin',# b1 b7 D Q8 |1 \3 j
Tiger’s wife went investin' -- a new home in Sweden .0 L( W4 u6 q. J: U; |
And I heard her exclaim from her white Escalade,
/ X! Z+ v7 |4 a) D"If you’re gettin' laid then I’m gettin' paid."
2 c, ^( e. z& ~+ ~+ JShe’s not pouting, in fact, she is of jolly good cheer,
4 l6 C0 e# E" ?: m, VHer prenup made Christmas come early this year. |
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