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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:9 t. N; n0 l* p- ?, W3 E- X
# j E+ C, l+ j! q1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.9 F9 Y. B" l- W* B! O
8 {( F, e5 @6 |8 ^% X2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush
) k; z9 c5 Y" e9 y- }! chour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
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3 A6 F- i% D# M7 ?% w3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
; q' I8 Z W- _6 o; M6 ^5 Ryou are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
- [6 B4 x6 h- ^8 P9 O1 Qlanding at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.1 S1 l" I. h# N# k/ Q1 z
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4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its% T2 Q: e2 U: ]1 |9 m
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
9 S5 X O6 y4 x1 u+ smuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires2 R: u3 E- c3 t$ Z" s' y
go second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
# M% P: [& Z7 V$ `5 {phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way., S S& [, X( s, U
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5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
' D3 _. C- w+ ]( ecussed out, and possibly shot.# {! m* Y V' I0 h
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6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can- O, d+ S u* L' X r
get you shot.7 w9 S, D* b+ g1 J0 u) C, t
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7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that P- s" f( n/ h$ [+ e8 V
has turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
5 n" ^) z5 [0 W- Q9 B+ H8 D; R" n' i; Ethe intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot r% d# |& S; X- s2 R$ h
you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first# ?; |8 K- n# s0 t5 |6 {- e9 T+ [
vehicle through the intersection.
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% O) n) g: f6 |. B( b1 Q3 h0 I8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour
# v1 P' n5 h9 u% G3 abarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next4 ~; `5 A8 z! a5 G$ Q8 g
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and3 }7 T7 b& L& X5 `4 D1 @
more construction starts everyday.5 q* t8 L2 j+ l8 ^4 m4 ^
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9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,, D* H, }7 K5 D( E' ?
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
& W" J0 K/ J& V+ h+ asquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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: I) ~, F0 w) p3 z10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
! W$ n V, ?- k9 M- b, l3 h' `( yroad. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye
3 W/ p; ]: K- I* XRoad are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and
9 Q2 i$ ^+ g7 V' m; j! v0 G1 z66 Street are also the same road; got it?
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; R4 q+ D- o5 z( r. z11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the4 x' \3 @" P2 g
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally
% ] t4 c7 n4 `+ t; RActivated.'
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% [ n9 P- M% m( _3 A12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,! e0 P* [( z n
you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
# }! o# X. f: A0 |! I% naccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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& E3 g7 ?- p; B8 J1 w- ]13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
+ Y, e4 W, ~# m' i. U& Jlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and% M1 B9 s C$ o W# A' ?! R: p* p
blankets in the vehicle. |
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发表于 2010-2-16 12:01
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发表于 2010-2-16 22:55
