 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
6 B, ]% A9 t4 y: E7 s请注意，以下序号都是1不是误写
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1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.* `# W& D! O% j
1，男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫
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' p: y. Z7 v, h- ~# I. e# s1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it6 O8 y" C/ D( @3 Y# Z# N
down.
{; k4 f% f6 K2 L5 JWe need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
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5 b- x# z3 u0 f1 e9 _1 }$ u/ Cleaving it down.
/ C( [( k& h( s1 T1，学会使用马桶盖，你是个大姑娘了，马桶盖要是翻起来了，你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来，你们需要放下去，你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去？% Z, @) f+ X5 ?. o: i; E
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1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.8 }/ l3 i7 E' O9 i8 I/ T8 X4 j, \/ O
Let it be.
/ i( ~6 J$ p' U9 r9 A5 z3 x2 g# S1，周日的体育，无论它像满月还是潮汐，随他去8 \0 z. E+ U( c0 a" x0 f
) G# P, m2 d! S# i0 f' R1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it9 E2 Z( i1 F) A5 B) e7 }6 b
that way.
* _! w' u, U0 T Y& o" h% Y1 B, y1，购物不是体育。不，也别指望我们能那么想！7 _* \- d9 z% B- G" D( o& L
' D9 u9 A _/ ~4 N3 O& y1. Crying is blackmail.
; ]2 y' b' T" w3 U2 y7 Q1，哭泣是敲诈, B8 v6 x' G1 m! j4 |( U
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1. Ask for what you want.: H0 K" l' a. j' X7 d$ f4 t
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
+ i% z h( x* b( I4 q8 W0 f2 AStrong hints do not work!; T/ F$ R" @; B& Y4 E) W5 u
Obvious hints do not work!) i; [. C3 @; c- n$ y W. i' I
Just say it!' l( _! H( n* ] q4 `+ U" O- D
1，你想要什么就说
$ ]1 |5 l% E: t$ X* D ]我们再说得清楚点，小暗示不管用，强烈按时不管用，明显的暗示也不管用！想干吗你明说！& K: C# i3 r7 `8 J; R% t' q$ Y' r2 k
! g6 b6 J' D& y7 @8 Q# P1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every , }0 d! {5 M3 w& L. |# t6 K
question.. }0 w/ j' K/ m
1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 （意思是，丈夫仅仅说是，不是，妻子不满意）
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1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's
5 o8 }% g; _4 _/ W5 j& Nwhat we do.9 ~6 r' l/ }0 ]- x3 K; Y
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.. C; w9 O5 @% c1 i
1，如果你有麻烦，可以来找我们帮助解决，可是不要仅仅为了获取同情，那是你们女朋友的责任。* A! b! A3 B2 R2 ^1 n* `- @
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1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
2 @- x4 e Q! d6 Q! [# z1，你要是头疼了17个月，那你应该看医生去" P _1 Y' `7 C' {- F' W
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1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.8 M6 H- w) x, t8 u
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
8 j: J7 u- ]4 g7 q& c我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及，事实上，我们说的话7天后就作废了% Z q( Q1 y6 H4 h* Y2 r3 f, ?2 a
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us9 X1 l8 n) ~/ p1 Z+ D6 g. ^
to act like soap opera guys.
' u8 s+ s, J$ z- }1，如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密（性感品牌）的女孩子们，那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们
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1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
( h. e6 x4 o6 B) S% y1，你要是觉得你胖，那你八成就胖，别问我们& Z% K7 D: Z/ H' f& ~
" S& e8 w( \1 \- M. s7 }' |5 y1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways3 A0 x" n" {' r
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. J% b$ @1 B0 \! H
1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思，而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒，那么我们本来是另一种意思。& u% i& ~: V9 F3 L0 o; i$ m/ W1 z
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（谁有工夫继续一下，谢谢）, T8 E+ O5 F5 g; `) W* N
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it
2 a) [: W' q" I; T" k9 ]& I, _done. Not both.
3 @- k! \% H1 r. Z6 h LIf you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.
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1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during; N% A) t5 U! c5 U- R+ D( F5 B
commercials.
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2 f% J1 c/ P* k+ S6 e1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.0 a k+ b- n5 y
: C+ g D$ I- M1 `# a1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
7 i! \ @- x# K6 O8 aPeach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
- w; x% V7 Y5 I$ QWe have no idea what mauve is.1 g" @ S9 T8 [; ?4 S
x6 L* F/ V h& u$ Y5 l. L3 `' J1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.7 o/ e9 y+ B2 m. [
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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like' y8 ~1 P! ^, _" y1 R5 \2 C
nothing's wrong.
* q4 U! S* h# z6 N5 d8 r. KWe know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. t6 P3 S: U1 N0 b8 F+ s/ q
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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
& n! a1 m3 c4 ~) Q4 B% Dyou don't want to hear.
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& _- Y X7 M7 W: |8 k U& V. {1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is
+ H( b1 B, X3 l( d% ]fine...Really.5 t# K1 t- d4 V8 |. v2 W
1 M2 g0 F- t' d# _1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
- p7 e! ~ h2 J1 H$ g$ ldiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf. Z) B# M9 B8 U1 D c. f7 y1 O
`- l5 }0 z+ A# U- U6 n* T1. You have enough clothes.1 l M8 Z4 w1 @% j
# z4 F. O4 Z9 L2 ~ k1. You have too many shoes.
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* f/ W/ @- U. o1 E! {1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
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2 O) T9 j1 x* I6 h& p( Q' @2 h+ i1. Thank you for reading this.* K3 V3 J/ K7 D1 T- }/ K
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Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
) N# ^3 ~& y8 D& K& |$ VBut did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh./ a5 J( A- u4 q9 x6 |
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05
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发表于 2005-11-11 13:06
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发表于 2005-11-11 16:47
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