 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
* n' X8 W- V0 z9 f4 s9 I i6 s% i5 s请注意，以下序号都是1不是误写
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1. Men ARE NOT mind readers. O: F) I! f/ Q% F0 c/ g
1，男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫
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5 |9 u6 d) s1 c. C( }1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it# Z7 K- x4 y+ d& J+ Z8 c/ {/ O
down.
! {4 g8 Y; Z' ?; y4 W- K$ ZWe need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about ; `8 I ~ b5 I
you
- G# v2 E% W* p' l7 qleaving it down.
w' j% J- l, [# C1 ?4 i7 |$ b1，学会使用马桶盖，你是个大姑娘了，马桶盖要是翻起来了，你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来，你们需要放下去，你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去？
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1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.% ~% Z$ J% Y, R7 S. B) [ T7 x
Let it be.
# I0 c/ \. x, e1 N1，周日的体育，无论它像满月还是潮汐，随他去
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1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
~4 k( U; Z) g9 C/ v- _2 `+ _6 Nthat way.
: w/ H& J8 z; ^( ^4 J6 b1，购物不是体育。不，也别指望我们能那么想！. {3 ^6 \2 G a$ C8 Z) P9 h/ d
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1. Crying is blackmail.4 [, l! D4 W+ A7 r; V
1，哭泣是敲诈
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1. Ask for what you want.
9 a+ ^% p; X) ^9 p q6 uLet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!2 Y+ V0 L" W; w( E4 i4 X
Strong hints do not work!
8 r5 c' F! F( B0 c( }Obvious hints do not work!- i, u8 k" \% e1 v
Just say it!# f) d" J. }( I* M2 f$ ^
1，你想要什么就说
$ x$ V2 v3 B. a; B6 u z/ S我们再说得清楚点，小暗示不管用，强烈按时不管用，明显的暗示也不管用！想干吗你明说！1 v. g) x2 {! V z3 _6 U2 P
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1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every 7 B( N9 Z* ]1 m3 @) w! n) a/ {
question.
+ Y. Q( ^9 u$ `- f1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 （意思是，丈夫仅仅说是，不是，妻子不满意）- N2 i& M: ^- i! }& k5 R; \
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1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's
/ J: {/ F( o7 \; C; S, j; twhat we do.: Q; X3 A7 m. H3 B6 p- ?
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
8 s# X! f6 {7 e K2 V! a1 N \1，如果你有麻烦，可以来找我们帮助解决，可是不要仅仅为了获取同情，那是你们女朋友的责任。
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& F1 a1 y$ U1 J5 D ]$ J! n9 V/ B1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor./ F5 M2 D' O, i7 e) z$ r
1，你要是头疼了17个月，那你应该看医生去
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9 _5 Q) u, b- C) C$ V1 Q1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
K6 V* U& e" `( c3 nIn fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
: B1 A' O) V8 [4 `我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及，事实上，我们说的话7天后就作废了0 h- D1 r* O$ d* L4 o
" a$ {; k1 J5 A x" B/ K1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us& s% s. ?- I6 p: i0 \ N# v
to act like soap opera guys.: Z2 s1 x0 B' W. F* O' X
1，如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密（性感品牌）的女孩子们，那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们" X( A0 L& g6 \3 `1 y3 a' Z
0 i; X) P/ g& F3 `1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.! c& S3 W! H% p6 c) I
1，你要是觉得你胖，那你八成就胖，别问我们
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. z, N0 E& M& f H( Q! O- I( n1 e1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
3 l- S: ~: H4 E. n3 Kmakes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.. v. l' C% m# u, y# D
1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思，而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒，那么我们本来是另一种意思。9 S8 n8 D6 s( `; e
/ C& e( K3 y7 z) y; o' |+ W（谁有工夫继续一下，谢谢）* G" V+ r$ m5 ~
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it: H) h4 @. w0 m5 S o
done. Not both.
' A3 A/ V- }5 R% DIf you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.+ Q/ C. ~& j! E" O( _; ?
5 @! ?6 h% s' ^1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
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! }$ N! X( E \; d$ J9 U1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
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0 g; f8 ]! E$ s6 q5 n9 _5 R1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.! q3 D1 \: I" b* ]
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
# t* b9 B& ~1 n7 {! Z$ |We have no idea what mauve is.
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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
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& w7 ?% v1 W4 q N ]1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like, i- k+ z9 t! {* C
nothing's wrong.$ p, O: A6 | j/ g1 A* p
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
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& _2 T: }5 |9 |- b# ]) B5 f1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer0 a: q% ?2 |& s$ A Z4 b" Y
you don't want to hear.
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% I$ E( | x6 H6 w9 E9 T0 ~1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is
5 `6 T! w; @$ R, Y" k( `! cfine...Really.# G$ K0 }" T% g: ?
v% I' _3 W3 ?6 n" O- o1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
& U2 F0 K1 L4 n% X$ ?# _$ _/ T9 rdiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.* p1 \3 d# S! N
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1. You have enough clothes.5 a. F$ r1 A% Z9 t8 z
5 {/ ]( c7 K% q- e8 A- C' |1. You have too many shoes.$ k3 F: V0 E8 W& r5 N& }& y
& W* s5 K( i$ O: D) N. {1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!% h9 p2 }9 u0 d
) G, B) b" g) w l1. Thank you for reading this.' \. l2 w% S/ J
- T) C' K( G& A1 q0 CYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
; P+ E* n9 O3 K8 q/ VBut did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.8 ^7 |# M! N, p0 E5 ^: w; P# O) P# P
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Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.! X; e4 H' y% x) M/ y, x
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05
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发表于 2005-11-11 13:06
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发表于 2005-11-11 16:47
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