 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!' g2 H$ e# T+ m/ W; y1 g
请注意，以下序号都是1不是误写
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/ ~" B5 p, ?# w/ `* ~- `' [# t1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.2 s% ]3 G! a+ D
1，男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
4 [. h& ?: Z- y; mdown.. A& d- }7 ^4 t& `
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about 7 |9 Y0 _. ?7 |7 \
you
4 y' d. y) G3 x/ g, r& Hleaving it down.* D3 ^2 K) T% `# |, m9 A& a1 A; a
1，学会使用马桶盖，你是个大姑娘了，马桶盖要是翻起来了，你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来，你们需要放下去，你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去？
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1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
% x; {& a2 A; a' S. G7 t8 k7 lLet it be.; v; ^+ t# o/ ^5 r& I1 j7 }* y$ c
1，周日的体育，无论它像满月还是潮汐，随他去% Y, a# @ E. g, x
' ]2 f+ K( K7 H+ p8 r- o1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it6 g2 w" I$ p2 n4 y( j7 t
that way.) q' k/ Y$ k5 o0 q3 q9 E1 R0 q+ `+ c
1，购物不是体育。不，也别指望我们能那么想！; T& [0 t& ?4 v! G/ C# w
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1. Crying is blackmail.* ]5 f1 L0 P6 d, l
1，哭泣是敲诈+ v$ {( J- i( R+ w
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1. Ask for what you want.
6 {( C( z4 W M" f0 [3 h% T- ^8 H& bLet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
! s" O# G; E! b7 A/ _! J7 T( b) AStrong hints do not work!" w3 k) z+ Z: S2 r% G( p2 y: H0 I
Obvious hints do not work!# r5 r" U [/ M. A- p% Y1 j
Just say it!
5 e" t% Y* \! z1 Y1，你想要什么就说' T* C, o% ~- b! d4 a
我们再说得清楚点，小暗示不管用，强烈按时不管用，明显的暗示也不管用！想干吗你明说！
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* T* i1 H' g/ I& [9 @( w+ r1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every * j. p: q5 v' V. _& H5 b* W
question.
/ U6 B. n9 a; F9 e# ~1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 （意思是，丈夫仅仅说是，不是，妻子不满意）
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7 V2 ~7 ~" P' c1 T# l: d: Y1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's
% P5 x5 @& i) \# r/ k8 ]- Dwhat we do.
- j8 h' C: x! a. w- \/ ESympathy is what your girlfriends are for.7 d- _3 W5 Q5 ~% w# \4 ~; t
1，如果你有麻烦，可以来找我们帮助解决，可是不要仅仅为了获取同情，那是你们女朋友的责任。- M. H6 H& I# R+ q' F& O( c1 b
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1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
$ [: Q- D1 f+ j( i1，你要是头疼了17个月，那你应该看医生去
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& l. Z5 b/ V& X9 m$ h2 C$ R- G1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.. {$ r5 X( s0 u/ d* m, p! v
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
2 G( i+ j: w( ]0 {6 B5 {我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及，事实上，我们说的话7天后就作废了
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4 f; p. l6 N7 C6 t: D- n8 m1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us; n( P# b( S. A, N# h" N
to act like soap opera guys.
/ D# X4 `* X4 E+ ^( f$ ]1，如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密（性感品牌）的女孩子们，那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们
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1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
3 q& L0 p4 d; h9 K r1，你要是觉得你胖，那你八成就胖，别问我们) P7 g$ e6 Y" }' V2 R
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1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways" |% U9 Z5 ?' H: ^3 R$ m- K2 Z
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
/ `6 _2 d7 T" Q! \1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思，而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒，那么我们本来是另一种意思。
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3 Y- K) R0 l4 Z. G8 R8 q/ r（谁有工夫继续一下，谢谢）
7 z( B. B) N4 v( ]1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it
9 J8 z# h- Q' @2 h, K0 ~done. Not both.$ U2 g' J f6 s/ a
If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.
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1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during& H3 f# E7 J% o/ w; X- y
commercials.
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' h/ r; J8 M) ^4 V" @8 `. [8 Z2 r1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
# T/ c! Q3 X+ z) z5 PPeach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
+ s8 i: N. m6 B* _, P( TWe have no idea what mauve is.+ m/ O8 p. V& J# g9 o
8 B Z) j* X, S' u% N7 [1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.; M+ N- M# B& ?9 V; A" e3 |
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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
: v0 g# l% m1 ~2 n: T m& S. y9 R& @nothing's wrong.
& w8 Z* I6 U; b; F7 {3 M+ iWe know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
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9 R3 a1 M. p3 ?: O5 K* W1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer) J9 {' h* s0 b$ ~
you don't want to hear.
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) c2 L6 j! p' ~6 W5 ?0 u3 G- m1 g1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is$ h- L8 k" G) }' i$ e7 z
fine...Really.
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E* P5 L" y5 ^1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to; A- f: z" G0 O; C+ I
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.% `5 P5 L2 L2 T
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1. You have enough clothes." ]' Y5 x5 I6 }0 n) Q/ C
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1. You have too many shoes.
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% }8 s( }) E$ V! g2 N; B1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
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8 B q" c* W8 R& m1. Thank you for reading this.
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Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
' a& d. v" I; U! v3 ~But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
: p2 U, ~, s, z% [; } H5 l, ePass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05
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发表于 2005-11-11 13:06
楼主
发表于 2005-11-11 16:47
