In the garden of my heart

Dawson

听《All I want to do...》有感，涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑，见笑！
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5 `; s9 U, z) H, I/ z- _4 ]In the garden of my heart
You planted a tree
: h2 G; c: t' a. o! lFrom sunset til dawn
Through darkness to light
Nourished with my soul
Devoured my sorrow by thee

  [9 \( l% r; T9 S; O; y$ K" gIn the memory of my life
4 c7 |" W, _" {& FYou planted a dream
Should the sky fall down on me
6 u, _6 F4 ~0 n6 z2 bMay promises fade in the sea
Sewing back every broken pieces
& S) ]( f& u( H* n' HBursting the love out of me
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[mu]http://penguin.spss.sd59.bc.ca/~mqiu/images/without.mp3[/mu]

云山水月

原帖由 Dawson 于 2006-6-25 01:05 发表
: G4 N; W# M  w3 N; c# Z. k听《All I want to do...》有感，涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑，见笑！

" \  y/ [5 e  Z# W6 K: YIn the garden of my heart
: {) }* H8 H2 t6 ]% W, G8 [You planted a tree
From sunset til dawn
$ ]5 G: Z/ {+ u8 \# ~- r/ HThrough darkness to light
Nourished with my soul
" S; E! a; K6 i" p6 R! X1 C2 aDevoured my so ...

# }! U. y$ I+ ?7 @* f* o5 w2 m
  I4 T9 |7 O8 ~. q6 f眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧？

写得真好。
* C3 p, [* @/ u. \* O+ ]
加精加精！

Greatwall

哥们儿，你没喝多吧？没事就过来烧烟啊！

九月

汗！居然有２单词不认识。：（

Justing

原帖由 云山水月 于 2006-6-25 01:08 发表
眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧？
: r( M* ], P2 i& Y* M) A0 p; Y3 P写得真好。
加精加精！

7 {4 x! T$ i5 i! `( Q0 P. c我曾在本版也发过一首英文诗

五月

如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下，在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。

微澜

原帖由 五月 于 2006-6-25 05:31 发表
如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下，在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。

! w7 {0 M) O3 h) l9 C5 |五月JJ这个意境，想想实在是罗曼蒂克，不过在爱屯，海天相接是没有了，只有在湖畔雪山了：）

朱顺顺

Should the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.
/ e2 n; q, ?) c2 S2 `
6 A# l: b3 x/ X% \% m+ \6 ZSewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.

Dawson

原帖由 红岫添乱 于 2006-6-29 11:06 发表
Should the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.

Sewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.

4 e# X! L9 j8 B$ i% A+ n% IThanks for your insightful comment, however I have to disagree with what you said.
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1) Sky falls down on sb. is a very common phrase or idom that's been used in a lot of occasions, meaning end of the world. For example, it was used in Savage Garden's song "truly deeply madly".
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( P; K7 n* m0 r+ Q- v" D3 Y3 v2) Every broken pieces, hmmm, again broken pieces is a phrase, I know grammar wise it looks awkard, but that "S" at the end puts a nice rythem to the poem.

月光宝盒

红岫添乱 这喜滋滋的头像虽很农民，但很喜气！很有乐在其中的意境啊！

FCUK

thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。

Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

五月

原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
9 z2 S+ V' c' C7 ?thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。

Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

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- ^- k# [+ w7 M, O诗歌, 重在意境和语感, 没有那么严格教条的语法要求吧.

Dawson

原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
, {3 a* x$ Q$ R4 L# k) }thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。

* x5 |0 P. ^5 [# BShall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

有啊，有很多经典的例子。

比如Sharon A. Bryington那首著名的《While Waiting For Thee》
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+ v" s2 W, i% B$ B, B& rDon't weep at my grave
For I am not there,
% l8 e! C- H/ B4 S3 g1 q$ Y" Y. QI've a date with a butterfly
3 ~" {: F: ~1 Z5 H+ \0 q* Z5 ?To dance on the air.
2 J8 a" T5 Z1 A( w7 i' L  qIf I'm missed, find a flower,
I'll be there too,
Sniffing it's fragrance
Right next to you.
+ N% G1 l  ~0 {; }
Don't be sad
When you remember me,
For I'm singing in the sunshine,
Wild and free,
' [7 n6 T; n+ d) ]Flirting with the lighting,
, O" k. @. a( J0 gPlaying tag with the wind,
Chasing the thunder
- n0 q! {* K) k  L; |( ?Time and again,
, g0 V) @8 F  i, _2 N+ FSoaring with the eagle,
* z' z6 s4 p5 _! SSwimming in the sea,
4 F; a* o) a( P  UEnjoying all of nature
2 }2 y' L9 f) w# w- h/ S1 aWhile I'm waiting for thee.