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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA
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1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math.
% E2 V2 c( \: S( R2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown.
9 M7 l) x N9 i! ?6 G3 L o" E2 F3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations. + O, ~ X/ c7 F% E8 {! o& t
4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on. : [8 c- m* U' v7 M
5. Weed " L) y; M H8 D% i6 t6 C
) S# o* p% o( N$ dTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA ) }2 p! Z; d# S3 p. n' r* H1 H: j
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1. Big rock between you and B.C.
, I' d1 b3 v3 y! Q: E2. Ottawa who?
, z3 e. y e( r1 d3. Tax is 6% instead of approximately 20% as it is for the rest of the country. 4 y2 L- x) ~7 W1 m8 Y* [
4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of. ]2 p0 A! b. Y* G. P- q
5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country.
' {+ q5 \! N D4 a9 L, d5 t2 }# }" z6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups. 1 U: `$ Q0 ^; a/ p
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN ) F" W% |# _0 X' v$ h& ~4 \
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1. You never run out of wheat. * c+ o( s8 c/ x/ B* {4 y
2. Your province is really easy to draw.
7 {: ?; _+ I$ O3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours. 6 x" v* U! `! H3 I. w! [1 W
4. People will assume you live on a farm. ' \+ E3 y: ]4 P1 {
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA
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# a2 H; V: Z4 g: J% V1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property.
- }; g/ h# S" b8 W* w& V2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes. 5 o4 v1 @) ]+ q& w' M- A5 G* e
3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter.
& G/ o8 F( f k5 O! E4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood.
5 u( z+ R4 j: L+ W5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by.
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: x, l: `7 v3 U! X5 |( G' iTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO
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1. You live in the centre of the universe.
! t* t7 m6 `4 l8 J$ \: p" V0 n: S2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump.
; x+ F6 p" c1 N( m$ L+ F3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election.
G I+ p8 X) @! E/ f4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime.
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: Z# I: u m) T( [% ]TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC
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1. Racism is socially acceptable " u3 v: G- R& u6 g3 ?
2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next.
' v: d- ~& Y; B3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada.
4 D% d3 }" J p5 j; m' ~. \4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo *9 t6 `* u% Y) v, r+ b4 y! I% I1 R
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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$ {- _+ [( w0 E! d* u/ M+ d Y1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income. ! r6 b4 H8 c$ i" d9 j
2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies.
1 ]# ?1 W, S' o N; P( B8 i3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick
* {3 ?, a6 `- {( P4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse. - v6 W+ n' U' l% K3 W7 `
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+ Y, c! S" s6 j. R6 n( @+ }% DTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA
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1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can.
. J/ D6 X# C' O2 j( q3 {2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt. . h8 t: V' Z0 s
3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND
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1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge.
8 }$ D+ u: l& k( s, H& @2. You can walk across the province in half an hour. ! \% F) I' s3 g9 _5 V. ~
3. You can drive across the province in two minutes. - b1 u" P+ C8 f
4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea." 4 d4 @, r1 N4 P! E, h9 e- b2 e
5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from.
1 t/ v" O' Y% B( w6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night. $ T2 B8 P7 m4 D- c
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND
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7 i% c) Y4 H0 X5 u% o7 ?1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea. ; `( X* _0 c/ i$ ]1 ^/ n/ |$ P
2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse. a; |( H- G) M! K. _" L# |. `
3. The workday is about two hours long. / \$ R6 m' _, \- S9 E
4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding |
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