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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA
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1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math.
1 X# N; M a$ f0 S, R2 Y" r$ _5 P2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown.
; E5 q" I' O' G2 b- F3 {3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations.
' z. U4 _- c( O( ^$ E' h; ?' W2 J4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on. + V! |4 Q, X( i% q2 I% O2 z9 X
5. Weed
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% p: @( O1 U+ `$ \TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA + w+ E2 O$ Q, N* V2 }, b% U
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1. Big rock between you and B.C.
+ |5 w0 C, Q& s, } @! l2. Ottawa who?. W1 \4 f# R' T" h
3. Tax is 6% instead of approximately 20% as it is for the rest of the country. . L: e, f" K' U7 k. U* D
4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of. * w6 U3 Y/ |2 M: S% W' S
5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country.
+ T* Z, B. F3 C7 ~+ _! V7 r6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups.
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! n7 D. Q5 q8 S6 @TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN ) o& b$ E4 w+ P# W' q6 e/ f: U
% D$ x! Q. C/ m6 O% _. Y3 ]: o1. You never run out of wheat. j, t& N. b) d) f+ d) n9 j2 w
2. Your province is really easy to draw.
* |) T$ v/ ~7 m; N3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours. 7 U: W' O, `& T: O5 C- |
4. People will assume you live on a farm.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA
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1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property.
8 l' F8 k2 \+ u; {. U- C' S2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes.
" m- ]2 o! q. M# a4 {4 ^' H3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter.
( L# b! @: r8 P6 f" n" L1 I4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood.
0 O- {0 A0 i9 N3 O* r9 ~4 J m5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO ) ~% j: _1 Q4 U9 _% q" r- c8 u5 `
: z' E3 M. y# g" f1. You live in the centre of the universe.
, D6 M9 \+ H0 q$ R2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump.
8 }3 P0 U2 N: Y& D p3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election. & `. a, L1 `- ?5 U! C! ]9 S0 ?& p% Y
4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime.
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9 \: }# ?& S- l f) s; _+ N% ATOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC 6 h- k8 |# e! @
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1. Racism is socially acceptable
` Q. _8 M8 j' T3 d( Q; m' i2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next.
& F5 Q0 ~' W: F3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada.
+ `# ^, L X9 t/ B5 {& \7 B' I( V% E4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo *7 ~. |. N4 n( K4 f) ?. r
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK ( c7 D: ]& o: ~; X2 m2 b
# n' f8 a9 b% x- ~* gTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK 2 a3 M0 u% ^ L, v7 M/ b
6 X5 e' ~: V" v% {# t( ]; g. e1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income.
; ^# {8 a; ]2 p W2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies. 6 v% ?$ f4 ]+ T" p
3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick % b4 m1 M9 P' ]1 A
4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse.
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; M) P# U0 `# y! `" z- jTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA 8 K1 T+ c% L0 O) P0 B: [
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1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can.
M9 e3 V( ?0 a/ x$ t3 n2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt.
# |3 A) b$ u) l5 T9 a# g3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money. " e0 i) P7 P$ s2 Q2 I: v
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7 b; o+ a& K7 q JTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND
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, y4 x% D7 Z& E9 W! j1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge.
& \" C- A6 n( w2 l$ _2. You can walk across the province in half an hour. % l' M. T) E0 _ c
3. You can drive across the province in two minutes. * \9 i* p$ ] u4 K* P/ U% n! N
4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea."
# N {" n( n- A" T- U3 z) \1 Z! p5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from.
6 S1 C0 \# F" s7 O6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night. ' G# x, \4 ~9 M6 B/ f+ z
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( c1 ]8 t w& w4 Y; M* q1 ]TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND
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! w! h4 D/ |3 Z1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea.
2 k i9 {& _' }- [2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse. : ]5 `+ C; ?( h* C% G
3. The workday is about two hours long. # d1 I$ A% A! n* X _ |' u
4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding |
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