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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA: G8 P+ T! W0 P; O
( `6 w' E e, v: S8 S5 L4 z ?1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math. 3 E3 ^+ A! ^. j) D( u
2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown. & c% y2 a% W% x2 [: j
3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations. 4 z* {3 [8 U- x
4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on.
4 g- C0 F2 ^( f; I }1 n5. Weed
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA 9 j: a* \# N! D* n2 I- v
! ` n& g& G( o* j& E1 N8 S1. Big rock between you and B.C. + _8 I) q% _4 G; v" Q/ C1 ~
2. Ottawa who?8 l" j( w8 W& H. q+ \
3. Tax is 6% instead of approximately 20% as it is for the rest of the country. ) N& Y' j. J& W% q: F+ K* l; v, ]3 ] L
4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of. 9 \( D% K) D+ Q( T
5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country.
. O3 N( K0 X, l# N6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN
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1. You never run out of wheat. " e: b1 R) Q0 q
2. Your province is really easy to draw.
" h, f: t* y8 M x( {3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours. ! P, K" I+ A8 G% @+ J& d
4. People will assume you live on a farm. * S* N/ E2 b% t H, C
& G+ n2 E" F5 t; x, |TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA 3 W3 M; N+ t; Y9 w" {9 _
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1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property.
! _3 }* D1 Y0 E- R$ J. G" {2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes. - g2 a0 p' X' l
3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter. 8 i1 C2 U- M: d3 m9 v7 y$ v
4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood.
) H' j& ]" ~9 `3 X* X5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by. ) S; ? P) F, ?) @, @; j. \
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, T4 K2 E% x) q& [% _TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO
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1. You live in the centre of the universe.
. e: m d1 T" Q/ q( P2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump.
4 a( i9 o- d; e3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election.
+ ~, f7 ], W! T0 G- x0 v% t4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime. ( `( w3 f: R# n
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3 Z7 K% |/ E) c. Q2 |* Y. PTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC 3 K0 @& Q) q. _. v( X4 t
4 v) @: {* |. a1. Racism is socially acceptable
6 b( f' N3 d1 J- {7 @7 K6 R; v2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next. E8 T, g: V3 H7 ^
3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada.
/ W( T( O% C0 @3 o: S4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo ** n7 A1 G# N: M0 ~* a* _8 W3 Z
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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0 `7 g0 l) O, \3 c( f" J7 A+ u: `TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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3 s. T* C& V6 L9 Q1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income.
8 v3 J! F/ h* A4 `" W2 c$ Z: }5 ~2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies. % T9 J3 h/ u$ ` l1 Y& i
3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick " ]( y* Y' c3 r
4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse. / |5 z, {" Q% G$ ?
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA U9 b! e; V' O1 O: M2 ?
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! l, E& m$ P/ z0 y2 Q* A$ v1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can.
$ s5 M5 f( I6 b- s: F2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt.
A; x8 i6 ^+ k5 P+ _3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money. ; @( k4 x1 ]- i" u" p
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND
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1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge.
9 e1 @( g$ G3 N2. You can walk across the province in half an hour.
* g: d% S. R# s+ ]3. You can drive across the province in two minutes.
9 E! `1 u4 q/ @4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea."
% J8 B9 N- a( m: j+ b C g# V5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from.
* C, @0 o$ V" \) L Z( f6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night.
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* T5 R) X* g$ J6 b* JTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND
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0 V/ v1 w( g; ~6 K/ j1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea. ) g& H1 Y2 F1 d+ |3 D
2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse.
H8 B+ J5 H: i p3. The workday is about two hours long. 7 k1 e! Q: \ I) n
4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding |
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