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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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% H& v8 y. k& o h q/ w+ W: a1 q 1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and0 p: {, P s1 i; u8 ~! j7 ^( u
hospital.: ~ {0 I' ?2 h( j: K7 T" `
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder4 C: w& y2 p, l9 b; }
capital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
1 s8 ~& l) l/ |# vcapital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is: X: `! p3 I0 v- U4 C0 j& G
$8.00/hour.
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" n& C4 q' W- g, P5 a2 d: C5 Q 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.4 |" V; D4 f. w+ G
$ e! N) \: \. v4 L5 [/ f/ ^ 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money: P9 D# L" L$ O$ @" L0 ^3 W
on a 15 year holiday ?# \1 Z) N U" ?0 N
+ l$ K @& S' m' ^8 V 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas/ s: ?, t% Z8 c( L1 ^
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)1 F. c! ` g0 r5 X6 U
9 M# q7 d2 @* K- W10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
9 b. c% P9 l" ^; m9 Ihere sick.
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- G9 c1 E7 `, T; F" f- ]11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12! B: D& H, D; C9 u8 K
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.; o2 M" X# c4 ]
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0 n: d* y! {) |" v THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :( l3 W* h1 M, N: F4 y, }. P/ D
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
6 E7 W( {* C5 V$ h& n' K7 a' Xis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its+ z+ b# y& H% N& Z* a
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest b. q# q9 o1 k* g
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
3 y- ^9 h! a4 C0 L* i- T+ G# z( ngo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell! p& {8 s F$ t
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.! D7 `4 i" a0 I5 h
3 w6 Z& `4 Z, H9 v" m- g. A C. t# i4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
+ k# m/ f5 U! m; z& Zcussed out, and possibly shot.
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) B. a# C+ U% b9 t7 @5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that( ^# ?" m# p+ Y1 O4 h- O* C
can get you shot.* y z' W% U6 X: x
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
( M( `! W2 `% y2 Vbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next% H' G$ _6 i( T; q
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
5 l/ F8 P- E1 Y; G2 ?more construction starts everyday.
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: w3 m y0 n) R( M) c& Y- F/ c 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
, G6 p5 ~" g( X% q* ]; z! \deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
/ a( L5 l: N; vsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
4 s3 D5 N1 v' T4 [8 ^7 bthe same road.
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9 ^; Q! G2 {! i7 {6 e3 B* b9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
9 {- J; k" z# U: U: b* N: Sshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km0 k, Z% `7 i" g5 v" \. ]6 {
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
. j1 A' F- E% W% oaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
; x9 u- {4 b. ^- b2 alined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
* i `6 M+ \5 j1 W p7 a6 eblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
/ D. n' k+ r9 g$ U5 ^/ ]& ?virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
