 鲜花( 1)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
5 ]. \5 X% ^+ k. ]" N0 C1 V' }( S/ W |& A/ `
( E4 v& V" Q# G1 d7 n
( }' q0 ]+ b# w
1. Bring your own house.+ g) b' i2 \3 _
. l! [* q+ C, V/ e2 h* M
2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and) L }: d# T+ j- m: w
hospital.
/ H7 ^7 S! _, L. `( _, E! Z
% I0 @- r6 t4 K; | 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
1 z! s$ U: v0 m5 h2 rcapital of Canada .
% ~0 F, H1 d/ g( N3 m+ y& D. n& [4 z$ E& ?1 D
4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .# }- L: d" d, {3 T7 z
6 V/ k+ M7 Q- s; C 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug% S! _0 U8 P2 G0 C; y
capital of Canada .! l P4 N7 l3 {: X, \) z
. I# m2 a2 d7 W' o$ Z$ Y- s
6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
! W& y& c9 V& {; W$8.00/hour.
0 r- ~, U" A" J4 v
& Y2 o/ b8 ?% a 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
9 {' s- ~( [: }3 J1 {' m' O( P
7 \3 m# ?# J8 @/ `/ S2 D 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
2 ?. I& U7 \. `( s0 q7 F* `4 ^on a 15 year holiday ?3 [! H; Z2 Z3 g3 v) o9 J" d
* Q5 V: ?2 m$ n3 ?& M 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
5 T* {( k- T ^" \" @prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)8 {8 V: J4 N! X1 O1 b
- c e3 U" f( C0 ?6 h3 { X
10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
) |4 r( e( j8 Rhere sick.
! r! A% P7 ^" L: O* y
. n* }1 t9 @: ?2 L5 `$ L11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12" J. u5 A, d7 k$ L) A2 ~
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
; U8 j% R2 d, H0 {/ `
8 B' f" n- D% f1 F3 J' j/ M. ^! K$ h& j- E, ?2 s9 K8 o
# {( @! u$ g; ^ B* `& s4 z) H THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
( s, \ {# X' i+ k& V3 ?& m
9 M }, k1 g7 o1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
# B8 U( g& |$ p: P- M" x( m; Q
1 f8 ]# N' g# D7 _, N3 w) E2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
+ {1 n! Z3 y: N$ W' ~is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.& @! _- L, \% f; _
2 f. M6 S0 E2 t/ Q4 r3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
' b% }% n) T* r1 X1 C Aown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest- }2 M0 ^0 c5 D6 s. I- ~! q
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires; n# R# a1 x' X! g0 P
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
' M. p7 o6 N+ t8 l! t' _$ Iphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
5 m" W: f) g) r! ^' S* z. @; E: E k( W. K( u4 e! b
4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,5 f) M& a3 ^% d
cussed out, and possibly shot. [$ f( e ?8 }
2 l+ b* b1 m7 o1 Z( h% A
5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that: P; O3 W$ Y j5 Z' [! A: I
can get you shot.
# z, w! F( @4 m" Y% L* k
/ g; W5 X2 P: w$ A6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour2 i; t; K: \- s
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next6 w" |" L/ r$ k) N- b1 Z
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and$ q2 e7 E5 x' t3 Q+ [
more construction starts everyday.( V9 @) J$ F9 y n4 ~
& v* o# K9 |/ r$ p. C
7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
+ H8 J4 Q! s% I4 k- Bdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
$ D$ y, t8 F- k1 p9 tsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.4 {( g" b) _! r6 e8 u1 x
, a6 X. Q* A9 f- V9 r8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
) Y+ { h) W1 rthe same road.
7 i% w5 n4 _1 Z. d- N# V k @
5 N: ]/ ]8 j! K. I& b9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the1 {6 A- }# Z- }& Q- {/ N) q. |
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally8 A: I! m- k) h* A b
activated."
3 [* o, T3 O, D# }/ b
8 D" @% k: V% _1 x# c, t10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km: m' K% t( `3 e5 a; Y5 F( I
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"7 f3 c" t% d# h2 ^0 y* l3 m, d5 u
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.. }. w. C% Z1 d4 Z+ L
& V9 ?. o" _; W/ z" G
11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur4 G0 ?* r1 {6 g: q; ^: o7 W
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and. p8 C* `" f& \+ X' B
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
' l1 O0 {; W3 ]; }! [, \- Wvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
. a$ V" K: J. \9 a9 x, q
