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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA9 T6 B/ v, m$ i4 T: @4 e
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- H- c: Z; M! @+ G 1. Bring your own house.
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* W& |' U A& h" G8 ^4 v5 L& \ 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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9 a9 [$ J) |! @6 u; Y. @" y7 m 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
" M; H4 U. q/ E) wcapital of Canada .3 [& j2 D& @& X( _! F
) ]! {/ w. ^6 K6 t1 q0 y 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .4 x( r! E) B- n) |
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
9 ?. l* z+ f6 H6 |/ o0 O. t6 @1 ecapital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
6 J+ m. |0 C" W/ _: ]# A1 `8 h$8.00/hour.- j( I0 H. U+ ~1 R6 G: T
1 ?) H$ O7 q' A% w. s+ D 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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9 l: ~/ A# f: v! w9 X7 x' l- K 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money/ @0 O' K3 H9 \3 B
on a 15 year holiday ?
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6 g G7 j8 Z3 c- z% V 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas" R/ u" { K, ~- A% O" J' e! y
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)6 O8 @$ v5 M7 t" P- U
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come& C1 b% k, F9 L
here sick.! o" i3 v, ?3 b8 Q& d
. F o7 T5 [1 ?: d( @* w+ g( w11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
" \) |, _, p& P) Q O5 wyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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. g, E6 B' O6 v" V/ x1 z% V3 D. O, [& T THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".- h% c7 {( l+ Q) S
T/ m0 m6 x4 X6 N0 j5 o( f. t+ P2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour$ W" `& t a7 M+ w# m
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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$ y/ h" G( C; f/ `! A3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
0 Z0 b4 ~2 o! O# G6 H) @own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest7 X; N0 X- i J2 {) N/ C( V
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
S" h. O9 n5 I8 kgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
9 I% |9 j3 N9 t/ M) ]8 Pphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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6 \* a3 ^1 @$ u4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
' q; X* Q6 W$ r# X$ M2 W% Q$ k* lcussed out, and possibly shot.# z, y7 N4 O2 h; `% M% I8 t( \9 l
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
; f. D) w& B1 p8 d! {/ \6 ?can get you shot.
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, `: E5 K) K2 q$ M- Z2 h1 y6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
1 a" A ^/ Y( Lbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
! x# _; k ~4 g( A& dday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
n G0 r. a- }7 f- H/ Smore construction starts everyday.- }5 a7 B+ M3 W0 ?
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,9 W, A" Y* p$ H7 J3 P. q
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,4 N! X3 |; k0 ~0 J
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.; J$ C. s' o+ J' D+ z$ H( T. E2 q
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
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# ?3 X0 v! x4 E: \: Z V. x0 s9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
0 S C; H9 i* A/ M4 n, v8 e) mshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally# P9 L) x* G1 d/ @9 |4 m6 s
activated."* Q8 ^) _9 i9 {
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km A. T) n: L1 k7 O
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
6 y/ f9 F5 |0 `9 M. vaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.# y! u# F' p9 i6 L1 }5 o$ X0 V
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
2 V C2 ^; i$ w; ^lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and+ B3 n4 W" P4 w" ?/ m' Z4 z4 q
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
: u$ v5 x, _' F! a7 v) svirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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