 鲜花( 1)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA5 e+ f+ }- k: W j7 G/ T. N
( A6 b( R& K0 [! e& O: v) c
' J+ h5 U$ `7 A$ C G
4 c7 e0 f5 V7 f5 z: [% r$ s- P 1. Bring your own house.3 X7 Z$ t4 `9 X) @$ E
1 g7 @6 ?' x5 J
2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
# d- A& g9 f! O# y2 |' |& Q/ P- [hospital.
+ {4 ?; z% @: y5 ]5 ^- P. ]: p9 w7 z/ q9 ]
3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder2 n, Y+ M& s3 P' K$ t1 e
capital of Canada .. C) N! z7 M0 P$ D
1 M" L. ~2 M# J
4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
* t3 o; v" h9 L* H( K5 C
. N, g% R E- I 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
4 B2 I1 Z% Z/ U$ acapital of Canada .
/ q" i1 l$ W1 c$ [8 q9 a/ m- z" A$ F" \5 _
6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is9 c; f2 w- s: i7 {0 T
$8.00/hour.5 B' B: b& B" l3 F7 q
- |+ M. Z1 [/ N. r* Y 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
' `8 q+ _, H* s. ?
- {* H1 }8 F4 `1 V$ J 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
7 v! J' D* l/ Z- ?) }7 q7 B- lon a 15 year holiday ?
4 H: a- A/ ?+ K5 @) O8 ^3 W; J/ Y
9 w6 v+ g( K+ j( `0 ` 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
$ F( N% y. ^2 `8 Qprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
. j1 q# ^/ m1 S/ N& D4 r+ e. R; V' F6 n8 V. C8 x) P: D
10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come9 z% p+ F7 W. L! x# J' l
here sick.; F3 m) Q& `. M6 a
$ d! U' f$ i; |
11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
( u$ I- z1 D% C; Yyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
: K4 z( l. P! }1 q% ^# S0 X
6 [, x: ?) \6 j p0 v" t
: R$ [+ x5 v& }2 N* e4 N
: z/ Y6 w( t4 g% A1 W4 X4 c0 M THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :7 C2 b2 E. i/ ` i* v
' [: `( F, P' L \5 a, n9 e1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".8 o. [8 j3 U" o Z' n2 L. a
: [/ l& p1 z8 A. l2 x" }% x
2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
" a# i4 s% b- ^) ^" u! R. ]is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.( c: f* T/ s3 R1 q
p& G G$ X2 Q% H2 q1 c: ]
3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its1 d- x8 L* x4 K/ o
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest5 Q) O6 C* c% \% \- R( J; j# _
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires- }' F9 G0 T! b) U* P' v
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell2 D" a+ R. x% `8 E; v* e8 }- g
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
$ ]/ E+ y: x1 M: ?) @8 [5 E9 T5 I! G0 u( ?% E+ P
4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, S# {% ~3 h0 S: E0 W6 G* ]
cussed out, and possibly shot.! Z7 e9 s' g' ?% y
+ t' Y: t; {2 x' y0 n0 Z
5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that! s5 w: J a5 U
can get you shot.# ^% X: }# j" {9 ?; [+ t
8 s( L' G) y6 E$ w1 V6 F" v6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
9 L% \ F1 W* a. abarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
6 d5 @/ ^. }( x# nday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and. o& g7 x. ]! K$ Y8 P. t
more construction starts everyday.
) f( p8 V1 W# y8 Z0 _# ~" S# E6 B4 Y' e: V$ B" M9 N
7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
5 T9 Y% J! {/ H. D" a7 w0 Y2 R5 mdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,6 |6 P! E7 N* b" k9 f( T
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.1 C3 [5 c9 z4 P: d- M6 m
c" ^8 @$ ~( h# I: S0 L
8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
) o$ B: f/ V5 s, Z# @% Cthe same road.8 s( |7 n9 G; l" p9 [+ n
. m/ F, q& x3 U6 }* i* K" N& q; s9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the E( d# [+ s) ?) v
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
D& B( d6 A. O1 ?) Eactivated."- S( s( ^) Q' A8 b$ ~8 E0 g
* E T- d. l4 B% ?) Y
10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
7 _; u# R# K' u; s! [7 a5 jzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"' F6 m6 ?. Q4 w3 J' v+ F j
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.+ `/ S/ a+ @# N+ R
3 c; _: `4 Q4 |' R0 S' l
11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
- w1 a d5 Y8 m) A B& c2 W* }8 J' Dlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and: v- w7 M! Y3 t$ M# T& n0 i
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
1 ]; U+ I5 |7 E% [, o4 ]- Xvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
9 ?! P% s0 ~& H) [) @2 U; }
