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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA( ` g4 ^. j+ q* ?
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1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and8 m$ X: N/ G- T/ z: i
hospital./ [% | X4 Q( @( Y* s
8 L4 m4 R5 m# y2 V 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
, e& R# V7 h8 c9 Gcapital of Canada .; M. c2 H' o. ]6 I" P
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
5 N: @1 {7 t5 I% h1 Y! z" ccapital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is. {$ {; X D& O$ n8 a) B9 s$ F+ q
$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour." [8 p- }/ y/ c4 P! n8 E! V! F
/ n" X, T' P& R 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money8 N8 S" p! d$ x6 c1 ~$ G
on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
4 |7 o9 ]2 ` T# wprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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# u- W6 t+ g7 |$ I1 R11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
: F. r7 A6 I# l1 j& t$ nyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.& o' [: C1 o/ D- z: O: Q7 i
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* Z; M1 ^* A6 O- Z9 j- E2 ~3 k' \ THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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( z9 d0 Z- G6 u1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
; J" |9 h7 }& K$ R7 I$ |is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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' f9 n, W5 C2 b) v t3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its8 `3 o/ m! L6 I' n6 y/ U
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
$ }) I8 h# G- Z; P' A* o5 Rmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
5 m$ S- }& ] l/ jgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
! A0 M& E5 o: jphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way., _- o2 z$ C& U! D/ E
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
% T6 U' ~4 U& e! V9 Q$ fcussed out, and possibly shot.0 g7 T2 C! [: M( e* B: w
- }3 k. V# H( s4 J/ y' I5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that6 {0 R& ?/ n. R' ~' Y6 z# @
can get you shot.& G( P/ g+ J! t- _- @
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour; }- @/ L: l% t5 X
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next' _2 |/ u! @5 c: D A" {0 s8 A
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and0 ]% }/ N, ]( t2 @
more construction starts everyday.
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$ T, N* T' C& L4 B; R- r 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
' @. f; J' P3 P0 c Ldeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
+ U+ s1 @1 E# o6 Tsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all( k/ H8 P# I* C" B4 `! m
the same road.6 A- @& v( t) x9 i- g
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
, ?- |$ c2 q [$ Y" fshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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1 n$ I X! V. v3 e2 O10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
4 t; x1 K( F) [, \3 qzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
; w9 n# u4 }4 W6 U; Z/ jaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur' b: F$ ]* k2 N0 F
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and$ N3 d8 _& @! \* M' l# L/ s
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
T; w& C$ g f- b/ Fvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
