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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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' j/ |1 Z1 l' ?5 c& m5 h 1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and. Z7 M2 U6 z0 \; C4 P. ~: X' F" u
hospital.6 d1 I& @3 n4 D
% X; J( s/ r+ e( E. D* C* i2 T% J 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder; a0 `9 s3 s) ?( ]
capital of Canada .
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" k& D2 `2 |( I/ C* @ 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .& X- l/ F, k" r2 Z9 R
6 }0 ^4 c9 w9 f; | 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug% X) K1 v3 O; u t/ q
capital of Canada .% W& u/ {2 H9 n
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
2 _; C0 e7 c( h5 ~. K$ y7 S: a+ \2 _$8.00/hour.5 \; C, Q5 v; P6 K3 `; n8 j9 p( i
0 c ?& R* a2 q2 ^ 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.+ H% \" |4 i/ [% H0 D z
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money- Q+ T2 c4 k' I! D
on a 15 year holiday ?1 r6 h' i5 P( \: ]5 h& \+ v f
6 _% w; W* w. V5 E" T 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
* P* W) M& G S5 @3 I# U) hprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come! E2 q. J, f2 m3 Q' g2 }
here sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 127 B A0 O8 {- ~; ~( a3 z
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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& v5 k: g7 H- T: G$ h, {- g THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :; o) s. O/ @ u. e* }" k
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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u( [* U5 ` i% T- G5 Z- U3 Z7 J2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour8 |, U6 `: Q- h$ y/ J0 ^/ j6 G) D
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.8 Q" f x5 s( k7 t1 x
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
8 j" l7 F( i8 Y- a5 I# {& v9 f! wown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest Q5 R1 F; E+ T B5 B p W& m) t
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
/ ]% {6 Y# U" d8 l$ t/ Rgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell- Z1 [% d# o3 a$ n+ B
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.2 }4 ~8 Y" i9 O0 z
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
5 B7 x7 m. u- Z4 G9 rcussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that0 L( I( B6 S! c* N, k
can get you shot.7 X2 G; `" e$ X2 P% s+ u2 s
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
1 H7 R% x) A. v/ U+ u, f% W! [barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
6 o, }! w, }9 l( _day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and' X% A( A. f6 c2 K2 L4 `
more construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,2 X. w; k4 K+ s& H; P' P
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
0 O' G9 b" Z. o8 s! u4 qsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.( u2 I- X) O" E: t; V1 t. {4 m
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
: g# I0 V- \$ H/ c: T+ Y8 j' Sthe same road.
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2 G* K4 C3 u; n+ O! H2 ]9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the* S+ O; B U N4 p7 t4 e
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally6 ~% j$ a) j7 z! e
activated."# O6 Q6 P1 ^$ t7 `# _0 ]* B
: I7 Q, z4 d1 p' ^! q& u0 K, g10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
# D- M7 |2 ?% L+ t0 Wzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
( E: h }/ u% l, Taccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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4 ?* w1 E" {0 U2 W1 G+ P11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur5 m5 K0 p; B7 ]
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and+ q# R6 l6 _7 c! Z; D/ Q
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is2 S3 ~, F4 b4 ~3 v K
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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