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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and$ r4 Z T; D: ^2 [9 c5 b
hospital./ v' X2 q6 h4 @4 V, a! \
) Q Y+ V* A8 p- y7 Y" A, W+ ^+ O# p 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder Q i3 Y( R6 |' T9 {+ Y T( n
capital of Canada .2 O; ]+ F- I3 U, M
+ O3 Z1 L( d7 B3 h$ B* w, Y 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .8 @" v0 P0 ?1 t( {9 h( e
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
) G. `6 x O0 k, d) Hcapital of Canada .
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' k$ Y1 `" Y0 A 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is. {1 |/ r A' o0 Y' b9 e
$8.00/hour./ u" v9 b3 n) i1 u
/ c% D0 g! X" a! Z 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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: |' G* ~: C! ?) J0 Y 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
9 |6 J$ D5 u1 V7 R# \on a 15 year holiday ?
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% Y, n" G; n8 L0 Y' M5 j2 W 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
6 {3 l. R F/ _1 E; Lprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage): V" u" W6 u( Q i i. u' T
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come! X I6 u( x. s
here sick. [2 u4 p) B4 ?2 V
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
% u' T9 x9 O; L& a: C' ?' w5 A2 Pyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.) p+ W9 _" g! p$ e& O
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2 W; s, g5 x6 l+ d5 `$ ?' F: t! Z THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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4 d& e1 n/ I5 Z6 d, t1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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" X$ F3 \2 L3 I% W$ g7 b' h1 a y1 o2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
" ?, B1 y* r: b& x+ zis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its8 ]- m1 |+ g9 [1 c- a" ?7 Q( ?
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
! b6 R+ h) B3 _7 G$ |! x6 jmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires: T% u8 \# H5 S% ]
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
. ~% d* p& h3 j% }8 _phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,3 N! D8 R9 k' k9 D! j
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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. {1 L# d# W! [+ L5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that; C4 v+ f* D: R0 x {6 M4 |# e. Y
can get you shot.
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0 d6 f n w( {1 |6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour. L, _1 c0 _8 B0 m
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next/ Z) g) n3 b/ w0 g2 x
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and" H# `' t, j& t
more construction starts everyday.
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{9 V7 `0 u# V0 p1 v; [* i) i5 b 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
% I7 [% J6 j! Zdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
/ d4 @2 g& G. j* l$ O3 psquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.- \: J- V+ n7 y2 C" P& C/ w* X
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all |4 _3 w1 L" r3 T0 z7 Z
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the; Y: r& I& ]- l, ^: k7 h
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally# |# y3 v: V! J* X
activated."
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# I0 e7 v' E( X) W8 q. H10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km- S* c' j7 `% N$ |0 s
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"/ K. y2 D ]+ x' {# |: a& e
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.( d' C& w' ^$ V: w; p+ a. ^3 h, C
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur- ]5 @- ]. Y' |( S# u
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and8 ]$ W0 a* k6 E) U- L# W
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is" J5 F0 f6 h1 g3 Y) \
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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