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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.
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. n6 I2 d( z) W2 x) l+ ]. l 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and& X! j9 c4 C* z3 [/ S. s* O5 T
hospital.4 A7 S+ h7 C" V; d* r
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
; E8 W( T: p4 ocapital of Canada .$ p$ k' e8 b8 Z5 _* u9 U7 C0 U
0 B0 N! j* [3 g* C1 |1 V 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada ./ V9 H7 M) t) D3 F
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug0 V: x2 M& ^7 `# q& a9 ]5 H; \
capital of Canada .8 | r0 X6 H9 N
- h- A3 Y# B- k2 s$ {5 T P! A 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
3 q8 C$ C9 n+ N5 q/ e$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.4 @) n/ _+ K! A8 E; e
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money$ ^( v" A# T" J5 y
on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas9 A- f. p i) C6 P! s& _3 R6 ]2 ~% u
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)$ C$ p( a/ `+ m7 a# A9 `! A* S
; F+ N! V0 z* C2 H! b7 V% u10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
/ P- V2 B; R: |$ J. {# B2 \$ H# ehere sick.5 U3 X( l3 l% @3 m, a
+ \& j! L9 I0 P11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12" m9 {" J( E& Q, P6 r4 O
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.2 d& \( u, h' Y( k$ w- d
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! U7 ^1 R" c; b8 U5 d, O# { THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour! W2 e4 E( `' _& F# H0 V9 O
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning., \$ |! Z% a: t$ Q) j0 I5 J
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
4 }& w# | D! k5 |$ hown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
( d+ f, i* K1 t9 L5 ~/ g( a7 Tmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires T% `$ [+ V% G0 X. H1 O4 h5 K
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
0 [5 j9 p3 a5 r- s' [) Yphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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8 J0 ?* l1 b: n5 ?# ^3 n4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
! g; n( r- _1 t4 G9 Ycussed out, and possibly shot., |! q/ a; D2 x+ ]% `
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
8 `5 E4 X+ b0 A, k% ~3 bcan get you shot., V/ [' A5 k" Y/ b5 k
h+ K0 G# o6 ]1 v6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour- a! k0 I1 ]3 Z: f
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next* W' S v5 D3 n7 ~$ l
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
* `, ?4 g* u4 a9 k7 i L3 o; fmore construction starts everyday.2 N" v3 ~4 L- T* z% _
( M4 y8 D6 K' f* f- m% t& Y 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
5 o! ]( j- V3 l4 L, Q6 Odeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
7 E( W8 L3 \- k, I& O4 e! i2 y; d# vsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
* a6 Z+ y8 R4 v2 F: A# |& Cthe same road.
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! P- `8 x3 c; @. B9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the, O9 D9 @- \4 L. {2 E
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km' H$ G' ]/ k8 D& m' f
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"$ U: X/ H+ H3 G1 j
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
* ]9 a. ^9 E$ T) R7 J2 M, U$ L% u Ilined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
8 P2 s6 q/ u; ^4 }4 f0 Oblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is& E+ C1 m4 Y; A% |; r
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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