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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA" p/ [( _6 t0 D. o4 j
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" ^5 U/ d1 Y, [3 f 1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder/ H8 k( E( v+ D+ K5 G* E6 \
capital of Canada ./ _) _9 _2 G. {& p$ t% X
8 R7 f& V1 n8 @9 p" x9 s: d3 m9 q 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .; `' ~2 i; K% R, Y
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug+ ~0 G5 D6 \2 L& O6 j
capital of Canada .1 R$ c+ Z. L2 i& p& `1 v) V
: A& X X- h( j% i, R 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is2 D) W) Y! F# N/ t
$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
- p8 B, o2 |' ^9 j3 b7 I Q9 jon a 15 year holiday ?
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2 Q% t( n d8 a% q' ]* ? 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
; \# T# Y& T% ^; o- |prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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' h% g5 ^9 ~0 M0 J9 q% o4 x# W* W10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
; M* q7 n2 S4 H! mhere sick.: ]+ X; k' R* b+ m8 \4 F! J$ \
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12- l$ Q$ j' g3 A& E
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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' u; E% h o V( |' ~" ]; F# c THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".1 S: I% z& N. m% N
- h0 J9 k0 b& k1 ` h' I0 w4 U2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
& ]7 S* j2 d2 ~3 `is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its, B: h8 E# W. _4 Y% G6 h
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest }, w; F8 W( {# s4 H
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
* ?' e1 C" E3 E9 lgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
; @- ~% o' }( M* Mphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.& G. \5 ~7 E' a9 b, {) ^: D( V5 j
( ~$ X, E9 k* ?0 U4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
7 c! ]/ J6 i5 s2 J6 Q( Z/ F0 w. ?cussed out, and possibly shot.
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. H5 c0 k% I2 x, B( N& U5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
. j9 Z9 T D9 G: |% F: Kcan get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
( \0 I9 z! U* E- s$ ^4 Mbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
" A3 F1 a# k5 V- gday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and( W2 f& X5 L2 ?% U) d
more construction starts everyday.6 e. k; L; L' e4 ]
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
0 U% H) K8 Q) adeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,+ E2 O$ g! q; |) {1 [' K" K* q
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
g5 f- Y v4 e, f" Z9 Pthe same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
. X' I* j- n! [* c1 t3 j4 hshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally* P! U8 P( p1 y0 L3 k; x
activated."
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5 g8 Y5 ~' h C7 a2 Y/ o10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
1 [6 p9 \6 j) Mzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"5 D% t+ x2 ~7 n" z+ a
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.6 n! ^! a+ v/ @7 \% a
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur& x7 J1 N) m4 K. j3 w0 [
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
. B) a& `8 R0 J! Rblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
- d7 g& d0 z* N d B( M: {virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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