请大家帮忙修改我的一个诗

alberta2007

I just wrote a poem
& a( Y" B) a0 p4 U6 FBesides, I'd like to put it in my blog.
( z2 |  Q' p! k" D8 ?. @However,first of all, is anyone able to modify/improve my poem
% s; P! \+ i  [$ g: p8 s; jThanks a lot!!!
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% X* E$ |' Z: K% t$ p* q: u+ {Formerly,Somehow I'd fallen in love with you
              Somehow I'd found something wrong with us
  k3 C$ F) S7 ~1 v1 N1 d              Somehow I'd left you to travel around the world
$ g( D; `4 u1 d0 M1 W              Somehow I'd attempted to forget everything between you and me
: I! x5 m2 H( ?: B% f              Somehow I'd considered you'd been lost in my mind
# |5 w( p. A7 G* |              Somehow I'd felt that my real life was full of happiness
) u+ K5 |. g  l( T+ y9 y! iHowever, somehow I casually got a dream of you yesterday
             somehow I realized you were still in my heart
             somehow I recalled my memory of you with powerful uncontrollable consciousness
             somehow I lost myself inside again
8 g0 B9 O; S3 M* M' a" F% Z  ?+ ^Now,      somehow I write down the aticle in my blog
) G% F& n" `1 F# N9 N             somehow I find that my heart is calling for love and devotion
+ b9 y0 f  }- p  C! u4 |5 BFinally,   I discern that I am still in love with you......................................
' `8 O  R4 ?6 O& I' {; nBasically, I almost finish this poem
               I am 一个人de精彩
" l% ?% q: ]/ j& G7 A: k. \! [               I am thinking to use 精彩 to cover everything.
But........         
$ `# B( M/ Y0 y* d6 xIronically? Isn't it?

yoyoke2004

应该是“请大家帮忙修改我的一首诗”

  ^- E1 G" M. y: C3 O6 Q卖糕的，写外国诗就得忘中国字吗？
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Justing

Somehow I'd fall in love with you
Somehow I'd find something wrong with us
5 E+ j' {8 i* I$ G6 ?Somehow I'd leave you to travel around the world
Somehow I'd attempt to forget everything between you and me   
Somehow I'd consider you'd been lost in my mind
. }) j+ a. D: W$ z$ BSomehow I'd feel that my real life was full of happiness

+ X/ x/ e% B' B# w1 V3 ASomehow I casually got a dream of you yesterday
Somehow I realized you were still in my heart
Somehow I recalled my memory of you with powerful uncontrollable consciousness
Somehow I lost myself inside it again
2 t' L/ N/ u  `
& J" P8 V$ e2 Q) gSomehow I find that my heart is calling for love and devotion
7 [4 [! a( m' D, I! {# sSomehow I discern that I am still in love with you
7 s- b: _! e. \- i; |Somehow I am the only brilliance of myself
! |! b8 Y. a  r! `$ i2 u6 BSomehow I am thinking to cover everything with my faint brilliance

lington

However, somehow I casually got a dream of you yesterday
8 O% w! {+ @5 h  S================================================
9 T! F  p4 ?/ f$ Q# W* |However, somehow I  dreamed about you yesterday
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somehow I recalled my memory of you with powerful uncontrollable consciousness
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somehow I recalled the times we had...subconsciously...

alberta2007

我用的时态主要要体现出来呀,你修改成i'd fall或者其他的,时态没办法体现呀,我的意思是i had+verb pass perfect

Justing

原帖由 alberta2007 于 2008-1-21 18:57 发表
: w6 F3 ?3 c6 A) b, E3 j2 l5 s我用的时态主要要体现出来呀,你修改成i'd fall或者其他的,时态没办法体现呀,我的意思是i had+verb pass perfect

! P2 Z, W* m  S* Z哦，这样啊，那就改回去吧，我以为是虚拟语气呢。

三思

劳驾楼主给我扫扫盲，这是什么体啊？