 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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Why did God make mothers?( r8 z$ U/ O+ _, W
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1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.2 m" T! |2 B+ F( B: Z* Y
2. Mostly to clean the house.
" F- w# J" d. Z. E3 N5 w# _ M3. To help us out of there when we were getting born. $ o" [$ ?: a. `5 S& K& Y0 ?
5 S& |( u; C4 v. A7 F/ K( ^* q' a% cHow did God make mothers? 8 N6 w1 S x3 b" u8 Y/ m; h9 ~/ ]
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
/ A3 \" z9 U4 w1 ~2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring. 7 ]9 u: V3 Y7 C% w* N, z5 K$ i
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts. 4 p8 Z+ \6 d+ s$ p2 K0 L
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What ingredients are mothers made of ?
* M1 F/ ?4 o5 c6 D1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
# [" u9 Z6 h8 N& X" u" o% Q" K1 {" w4 k2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think. + s. a7 k0 g9 v, @) o
( L' t6 x3 R2 x- ~; xWhy did God give you your mother and not some other mom? : z' U0 `/ x, Y3 Z) x* k) D
1. We're related.
4 D+ P7 U3 H" e) @" T5 a2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.
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# W7 e+ ~3 b9 ]( [3 X1 [What kind of little girl was your mom?
" c' ^' U& W$ X, @1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff. ) b: B: p+ B# ]" u. ~6 y
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
. U$ l1 Z& k8 D% n. X5 X; g3. They say she used to be nice.
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: r6 b% q% {& Q" NWhat did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
5 \7 C r& g3 y2 n$ D5 m% C s4 n1. His last name. c$ e; V+ x" b6 f7 r, H9 v" r
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?8 r' i5 u2 n' m: c; m) {: x. c
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores? ( x) L! g Q" O5 h6 F" I" u
/ k. h7 F$ } I9 a$ XWhy did your mom marry your dad? }2 \6 Y/ k& A! g. e* ?* D7 m
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
5 s8 m0 z0 e* m1 h& N2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
( _; ]0 ]! a, x1 G6 o1 _3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on. 5 J) c# [0 g5 K V7 `: O- C
" Q- [0 i8 J% U3 s8 lWho's the boss at your house? ! q- V: z* w1 m4 t
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball. * N% x3 _$ W3 `& D1 E; M+ E! @
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.3 a* h' U4 \5 V
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.
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- \6 O2 |/ J2 T+ YWhat's the difference between moms & dads?
. d1 D$ J) ?1 J0 q# H1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work. 8 j- {% C! J8 u& x/ H. A
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
- ^ W/ o; U) ?% _9 _5 i! A3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
9 _5 A: e6 P/ B0 ^' c$ b* t4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine. 8 B; R7 }# N: J. T$ _ L# S s7 `
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What does your mom do in her spare time? + j) F# Z X6 F ~1 M9 u- S0 @
1. Mothers don't do spare time.8 U: X) F& N0 L6 m( ~& S, F
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
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What would it take to make your mom perfect?
: e4 a' B- g: g3 W/ n' ~5 T; E1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
, x# h1 ` h0 I) d2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.
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2 m; g8 m& x1 }6 H9 E" [" }If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
7 h3 b4 U2 H n9 K9 B! @1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that. : M4 L) h5 c; E$ b! x2 H
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
# d, m! F8 [; K% P* Z( G8 U" ]8 v3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.
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