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Why did God make mothers?
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' i3 N& U( W9 K1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
. U4 q" }7 G& y2 X. W4 G: s p2. Mostly to clean the house.
' n1 f- b! Y l. N* x8 n* E" i C: `3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
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How did God make mothers?
% C% K8 T& g; Y6 ^1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.- `! ]0 P8 _- }; i
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring. ( M5 V- j+ K( S
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.
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* f6 b3 F8 r3 f, e( n3 YWhat ingredients are mothers made of ? ' W; u1 {$ W! p7 P$ K
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean. * \7 M. V$ |2 X D
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think. * g% n7 _; g4 z( p1 \* ?
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Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom? 9 m/ ?! x0 y5 x3 B, u! i
1. We're related.+ t6 P5 N; ]& ~
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.
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What kind of little girl was your mom? 5 ^6 v6 X. R* c
1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
! j8 `4 G( `: f3 t' J9 n6 S2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy. m+ I( I( ?2 p4 \
3. They say she used to be nice.
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What did mom need to know about dad before she married him? + \, A# `& A* c5 O, q4 O
1. His last name.# y+ `0 w; s6 u3 i" L0 d# e
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
" w( X: `! J8 d0 ~* ], Y: M3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores? 3 }; `" m u, V1 y# E) n& z) a
, A' P8 x. ], z; _6 H [3 O8 h- UWhy did your mom marry your dad?
! x* l0 ], ~, H% K1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot. ; S' k I# w8 c8 P! a9 c( F4 S
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
. Z- ?: x P% U3 ^, W% H+ m& G9 m: l3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
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Who's the boss at your house?
3 t! C7 N* a9 D! l3 O. `1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball. # s" ~( Z$ Y$ R8 n. R
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.8 a0 }+ w; T1 G0 l1 A( v$ T
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.
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What's the difference between moms & dads? " @3 ~ f' N# y9 c9 S5 y9 c* K% o/ I( {: f
1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work. 8 x+ L2 Q+ Y( \. t) f
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.8 |' V q8 {2 N- d6 b& c
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's. / A% x; H6 C' m' z, s+ B* w
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.
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What does your mom do in her spare time?
! y0 k7 y. o' p( n6 w6 Z1. Mothers don't do spare time.
7 c& f( g& ]$ U3 G: d3 y2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
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What would it take to make your mom perfect?
- l6 Y3 F: r: V* |, A5 y1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
; J; o& k! T6 B2 Y7 y2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue. % e0 J. C' ~& `: V8 ^
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If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
. N; H8 A# `3 O4 }1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that. 7 N, Q B5 y) f& E9 W9 ~+ }
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
+ N: Y% h0 P2 N4 R7 f3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head. & Z; g( E) W8 c
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