 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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& D# x7 F# X2 z4 N* q; c/ l( L# @Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. N2 R4 P. x; ]$ O! h
$ |$ N. [) g$ f% h6 K/ S T/ \' AWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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# s; n& K# v1 a8 [7 ~8 TIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.- G8 g' S2 X ^2 W1 a
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
4 z4 \) J6 e. Y' [. @9 W* H# q* L. `make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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2 z, }7 X {4 n+ w) nGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 1 J- \6 L) q2 P; M6 n5 f- ^
9 _% r K3 I! Z% ?- H- V) HWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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/ u. L+ c- t3 u' GCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..7 n7 \$ C( E8 e3 F# l0 `+ l
0 v8 K3 v8 ^; |Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. 7 l9 k' l4 p. k8 V* @( w! g, A/ k
' u6 T2 F3 F! {: T' q1 w# ^Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 7 l: u" R2 l6 h9 p3 h0 p
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Rinse conditioner off hair.6 O6 O8 b2 c2 c1 h9 M3 y
8 \7 @2 O1 W6 ~ fShave armpits and legs.
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! v: I7 ]( c/ S9 T# R9 L* i0 u+ n& b. o1 |Turn off shower.
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.( N, q+ ^; |2 U
5 m' ~( L- i0 @Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. 0 m2 W% o* z, x! P; D( E
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. 0 E4 ? [2 K# \9 Z$ Z% U {
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. 5 \ z) l" ^* M8 @
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. # q; c) @! g6 H& z# ~, F
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' {4 K* l, e( Q9 m- ^HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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/ }, i6 x: ]" N; O5 T) u7 MTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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9 _: H. y) ]7 y, U. u4 g: LWalk naked to the bathroom.
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror. 2 D% T/ p3 R C9 z7 ?+ X
- L, @( E1 B& p: B7 Y, f1 PAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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( t; w9 `1 F' bBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 0 `. A9 j$ {& A! `9 B8 X
) ~8 X3 Z# z1 U% {Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 9 I+ _. P" i U# @- v y+ a
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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o) c/ G" D. RWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. % Y/ b5 v: N9 x# p; a& u
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Rinse off and get out of shower. * c5 h$ T3 V! N# l2 B
; ?5 Z+ Y+ q2 Y$ D) jPartially dry off.) A$ ^9 e7 ]+ O2 i/ R
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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( g" t- r) N2 b* qAdmire wiener size in mirror again.
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! t) R [9 ]+ [4 g$ d6 c/ @/ uLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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: L! C- N1 Q7 a2 hReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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L) \' P' ~1 S1 aThrow wet towel on bed.
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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