 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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3 r: G* b* w3 c; g! DTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.- S Z! `9 U' ]. N' d l
8 G. W# M2 g& A$ P1 }1 V! i! b" PWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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1 G$ H* N& I' }: V% PIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
( h- D. Q. V7 Wmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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5 R3 t7 n u9 d5 B" _, tWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.4 v5 w# |( l- Z- Q
5 o- j; w) l3 l& C+ y+ z) e# i* \Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. 2 e2 I( E/ v \2 |. [: i- h5 U
- g- ^) |- m7 S6 i2 zWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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Rinse conditioner off hair.4 u4 a e; S" K( K5 u! e# C4 A
k7 X9 Z& y4 G4 T6 R& u' V# |Shave armpits and legs., T) ~. K) ~" }: ?
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Turn off shower.
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4 M: |; E/ p Y; VSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.. x2 n: B$ L8 p5 e; |( p* e% |
; V+ ^! k- Q! u+ t" @. _7 N+ E/ VSpray mold spots with Tilex.
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# W4 B# O# ?- k1 B" B0 I; YGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. 2 l) v9 f' d' [
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. # C. m# a+ _1 G+ i6 |
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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( U b, a0 l, O- M2 J& J4 {HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: , I9 b% x/ J) I" M: q' u" z: e" R
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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9 n+ h! J- I {- r" pWalk naked to the bathroom.
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! t d3 x3 A* T3 u( i: {If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. ' ?3 {9 ~: e6 e/ w7 C- A* m, f
/ V4 ^/ K) [* m. X- S! BLook at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. $ k. \1 \, D* `$ a
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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8 W' m3 A- I' Q' t, b: XBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. / D8 E4 J4 x$ D
" c5 S# J" Q: K6 o' I, f/ f" R/ rFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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" I: O+ J' W8 G* {5 r5 X. S0 \Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. # ^7 x) f4 i0 w* ]+ P; O; J
5 o6 u0 Z- N' L5 B6 iWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Pee. - x2 G$ D4 G1 v" C
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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Partially dry off.9 k& }. s- Y5 h6 J
: A# @, z7 t( `. l, ~$ kFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. 5 x: D% i& _% G' X, U6 L
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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9 A- K, _8 I/ yLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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& W& l) @* G, V4 rReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. W- D& g$ R: Q4 @
$ D. l: m. n! h0 s pThrow wet towel on bed. 8 h3 J* g5 {) {
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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