 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : ( R5 w7 z* X2 d( v. ]% Y+ g
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/ a3 L1 p4 E. x$ I7 BTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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& o$ C% h+ x+ B3 Q) T; K2 ALook at your womanly physique in the mirror -- * g5 m9 u$ S. P: k; q7 G
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. " a1 h9 |* j6 y" L6 n
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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/ {' e! d" V0 u" R6 s) q1 OCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..7 W2 D( o9 C7 a+ d( d1 a8 [
& Z$ L( G) v9 JWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. ( ]& _% ~4 I! p, v; m* G' y
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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+ B$ B7 _* R) ]& d( F2 qRinse conditioner off hair.0 \# x6 E8 m8 n) A% |
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Shave armpits and legs.4 E% Y8 \ D: s& Z# C! M, ~+ U _ T
0 p+ Z4 E/ r) ZTurn off shower.
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2 n3 {; Z- R0 _ n5 \8 C. p, `5 DSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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: B- F5 }& _& F7 q6 W; GSpray mold spots with Tilex. " A( V6 N! z! p/ ?9 ~5 V
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. ! U/ }8 E8 T! z- p* G( |2 a) l
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. 1 J2 I/ [+ ~, M" h. B5 R/ ]4 @
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. % w8 f u- j# s2 E% K4 v
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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) \8 u3 w6 `2 b6 f/ VHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: 7 a6 W2 C' E' x& u; y6 b$ V
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. , U/ N5 M. q N, n2 p+ K
) Q( {" J8 Y7 \% D D6 y. zWalk naked to the bathroom.
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. 5 H# o! W' `" p4 c5 y' z
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror. ( q" F8 H6 P7 q+ X9 T2 }2 u" B. p
4 G/ f9 m# [7 N. U$ N2 M$ X. `/ J7 LAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. , O1 k: I4 c+ I
/ e+ }7 O8 I+ a3 ZGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 2 H- _7 l) T5 W( @/ w. O7 j
7 @" d1 f9 u: t9 TBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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1 _! ^$ {+ v. l$ cFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. + }- |9 H( R8 e9 F1 i
7 l$ R8 G* u5 b0 K4 l. F2 JSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. 6 j) q. }) B/ K9 n6 F& s7 d( `
4 s% q7 n+ g+ h: i+ n9 x7 A1 u* FWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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4 f; R% S& p1 IPee.
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Rinse off and get out of shower. % [0 K* k% }( B: F, `
( i9 o6 A6 s# `- f3 a% ~Partially dry off.
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. ' f) P% ?1 S9 K- y' ]' p) }7 J B
8 s9 Z) V8 y0 Z4 }; }5 DAdmire wiener size in mirror again.
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p. o5 k h# p6 c9 `Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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2 i; e; M2 H5 c5 c S6 ~, K) MReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed. ?( n$ E" U9 o& k/ U
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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