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HOW  TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN  :  7 J& U% Q) z, [# J) ^5 O/ N 
 
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- b- o$ b/ J* CTake off  clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to  lights and darks.6 l8 S  ^5 _( j 
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing  gown.  
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& S5 A/ |. L! @4 ?( n3 nIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed  areas.8 D1 T7 P6 f. q: |$ q  R7 m* B" P 
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --   
* |& X, Y' C% R) nmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.) U- t. U8 A6 ]# D7 m/ X$ v 
 
6 |( H" P: ^. ?  h+ V5 pGet  in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah,  wide loofah and pumice stone.  
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  T: T8 L% Y4 C" M0 c, T( DWash your hair once with  cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. & [4 c: j/ ]/ ~* y. [. V 
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Wash your  hair again to make sure it's clean. 
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: ^" \+ Y6 P& S* P3 u. o* N! y+ O) _Condition your hair with  grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.. 
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Wash your face with  crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.  
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Wash  entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.   
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Rinse conditioner off hair. 
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& y* l, I! P6 |, C. x. j( f9 HShave armpits and  legs.: _. p- M4 l/ }/ U. j6 ]5 [ 
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Turn off shower. 
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces  in shower. 
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.  
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! q, O) a' V: O( h4 `$ ~Get out  of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small  country.  ( H4 g& C- e! y, y/ {% j! v 
 
2 Y, o# R$ I3 h$ RWrap  hair in super absorbent towel.  ! J2 B- ]7 z; `4 I1 m( L 
 
% h! s; g$ K! p* a; v' X9 yReturn  to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.   
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, j! s+ I3 A. g# p; u" DIf you  see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.  & A9 g+ x) }' H. [6 D 
 
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HOW TO  SHOWER LIKE A MAN:  . q$ ]* m4 g" f- K! E 
 
/ T; v, Y1 z) \5 Y0 z8 pTake off  clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a  pile.   
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Walk  naked to the bathroom.' ]* S( L0 o2 E+ [5 P4 A 
 
2 {; J+ _( P, o1 i1 {8 z! P& X$ bIf you  see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo  sound.  ( r& q  A: G8 f7 c% d; O  y0 k 
 
; f, t) t  q. k: O8 v; U1 ?Look at  your manly physique in the mirror.  
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Admire  the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.   
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Get in  the shower.  Wash  your face.Wash your armpits.   
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Blow  your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.   
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( y9 W' q, R# i9 FFart and  laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.  
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* A% S# Z" u% F/ `Spend  majority of time washing privates and surrounding  area.  / q3 W. ]# S2 V3 Z8 n) p* U7 X 
 
7 Y/ x" p1 x- x1 NWash  your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the  soap.  # w! T; ?: O$ i! d( V$ [ 
 
* Z4 X+ T. w9 F$ J5 {% C( e7 i5 pWash  your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.   
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6 c* p4 X& d6 b6 h* g/ A% D7 vPee.  # ?; z% S9 P, u" S# p! u* _" c0 N; O 
 
+ m2 D# s+ e) [5 HRinse  off and get out of shower.  
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+ B1 N+ W* r, g$ C" ~9 GPartially  dry off.# j1 }/ I/ d- H1 w" C! |% E4 f! n 
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Fail to  notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the  whole time.  
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Admire  wiener size in mirror again.  , L; A( ?3 s3 o 
 
  G4 |+ y- H( n( wLeave  shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan  on.   
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Return  to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off  towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.   
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Throw  wet towel on bed.  
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If there  is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this,  there is something SO very wrong with you. |   
 
 
 
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