 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
|
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
7 n/ m( w8 m& C3 j; E# a; d% `9 r7 i6 t* [
' h7 ]9 L8 ^1 B$ w( c5 P2 a
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
. E0 B# r" |! Z, {8 n4 G9 X
" t9 [2 c/ D5 c6 w" C5 C
- [) h8 M) K0 H2 W5 u5 o `" K7 d7 K
- y5 m& Q- u; A. ~: @4 _Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
* m# G l0 Q+ p% k
: g% W- B% P4 y z$ c! _Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. 5 c2 T B1 H+ l
& L, H7 X) K: f0 [
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
0 Z8 T5 f( k" h8 Q
& [8 B2 p4 j9 ?5 o% d# U. BLook at your womanly physique in the mirror --
! D, [& W9 _. ?/ S, o) F: A) qmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.' J$ q- k2 y9 x, e. ^; [: W
) z0 \& V* y; k9 u2 D sGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
5 j% o2 S! F4 s( E5 N T
1 c4 {3 D: l, o/ s2 V( qWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
& E: t0 } m9 V
5 [$ F1 g' f1 ~& G+ f$ pWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.5 N1 `: X$ [( m8 R; h
+ N; z" ~* @" Y/ U) t& X B
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..- e: O# k0 i) q/ {
/ H# k/ ~; p3 }" G( x" O( c
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. # h6 {. t1 m8 y. J1 Y4 Y' z& O9 y
2 U: G9 _* p. D# PWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
+ L2 i: x. j) G2 K- B q @9 n. o; {
Rinse conditioner off hair.
' K5 Z% ?, K, K1 A# l
/ M1 D+ F- O! }/ TShave armpits and legs.
" Q0 i7 j& S+ U* [0 k7 M, {4 e+ d3 R: s; n W$ K6 R
Turn off shower.
& i* c9 b- P8 l
0 g$ ?( o* Z; b8 n% ]6 ?0 @Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower., y! T+ T0 \* U: O- o
1 `1 y F8 _% t' o, P s" u
Spray mold spots with Tilex. @% f H8 [1 [, f2 m) D
. M& j9 Q* }7 n
Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. 5 C0 q% L; G# U- O
3 A, T, h/ J( r% w% BWrap hair in super absorbent towel.
. R$ j5 I" f, v0 A8 h# g% j/ W) o8 b1 g+ J3 b
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
5 h2 c( O# y. i* d) T! A: w, z G8 B ^& z6 o6 P1 }6 u
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. , Y* R, z" m; D) I6 Y/ k" g
. U8 R% l% y* E" s- u9 c7 W7 e
5 E3 Y, t8 b B, }- `# sHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
( q- Z; b$ b- K# p1 U: M7 A; f- I/ i+ A# C
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
! o% p1 ` G8 _. I% M
, h/ w8 L2 v% u) j1 x& NWalk naked to the bathroom.
1 t; \5 B1 k7 C: \+ @. ]. ~( W6 T% I( L$ h) |5 Q8 q
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. & x( i2 H8 I V! Y! e& Z
& _( F2 I! m/ S2 X- _
Look at your manly physique in the mirror. 2 I) o$ u3 A% h( G$ u6 K* [
+ D9 ?" x) x' v: s* l6 A# V2 ]Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. m" v& Y8 ] F K* n
( ]. ]9 @' N! o {. q! a& q' O# N0 s" QGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
: [9 n8 I' B4 y) q% @+ T x6 M& M8 r. |3 d) k, s! o
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. 3 V% ^! t% N+ f6 A! Z, _
5 @% P! _. I M5 W. y4 MFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 7 j$ K. x# o+ ]' T
: g, q. Y! z* `: u/ E7 oSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
7 c/ h; j; J; n/ [; n/ S3 G# J, N9 ]1 Y3 D$ K! Z0 \
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. 2 W, b% n2 K5 q7 e$ b
7 g- \+ j1 M( q: }
Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. + P3 E7 W9 Z0 b9 a
4 W# p7 z, y4 }1 ~9 A4 uPee. , S& G% p$ i! y) g2 v! o$ F
- X! R6 ?# F/ d: r9 a* I; E
Rinse off and get out of shower.
3 l; a2 b: A* @) A% J+ ~' v. c; g
Partially dry off.
2 D2 W4 M( o- ^9 [6 _3 ?7 U: \; H, k
Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
0 W2 M* d; r4 y2 S2 a$ j e$ o3 G! T7 \( h0 Z9 e/ I
Admire wiener size in mirror again.
- `. S2 a7 ?6 x! i6 l! e
. w6 h: g# a* X, yLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
+ p2 |: k6 I; c. z; ^# R" [8 @6 u% R% A# Y: U$ J
Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. 1 l; `$ C* a0 Z" H" `4 ~# z
( l3 p, B* A5 d
Throw wet towel on bed.
# d. `" I/ _" L, _, d W: _) `9 K* N( D3 A; u
If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2008-2-21 08:02
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2008-2-21 09:03
