 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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! k" ]; z! }* u' m: PTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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+ p- b: Z" f# H/ r( E8 e3 C- d- g, pWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. " R8 E- X: Q- B* v
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas." o. ]( ~& a" T5 v/ A
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- + z( K8 }( L# N6 v8 W5 U6 S. i2 S
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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# Z0 K2 _2 Y) O1 N0 l# \Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. . w4 [: D" h9 V; n/ Z5 ~
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.' H7 A# ^# E* a2 e3 @: Q
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. 0 S% r" Y8 r# c) I
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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) b" B0 ~6 }. V0 U6 Q! c$ H8 \; XRinse conditioner off hair.
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Shave armpits and legs.) |% u; _# N* o' K
( h* A* \0 j% `! UTurn off shower.
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! k) x. |2 O; ?; GSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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Spray mold spots with Tilex. 2 q! @) c( L- F) P4 L
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. 8 @* L: p" Y& f6 W1 t. j" G' D
( x- C* ~+ ^1 A' e& ~8 ]Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. : ]2 G- {( C2 K* F# h
3 _& t& ^$ Z& t9 d0 j) RReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: $ S' i* z4 i. Z& I7 M/ }
$ Q$ h6 o6 }; f& t) A: v4 PTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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9 u& L$ U8 X7 U; z+ |Walk naked to the bathroom.$ u) g. f$ O" R3 j- h
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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8 S, F: h% ^! U3 b1 M# g5 {Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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; Y1 q- V0 ]6 p1 J5 H- RAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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' o, e M2 @9 a4 H2 Z+ a' T6 b6 SBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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9 `2 b3 ?# C! p. w/ {; P8 yFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. / F. N; m! d: }# `( [2 L( F) M
9 Q* p2 N7 V& P5 A( s. L: V) A& JSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. , l/ K: S+ P2 E9 O7 ~
# F6 E3 x, c. c& i7 f% z5 eWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Pee.
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+ ~: M; o4 D- pRinse off and get out of shower.
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5 x6 c( x/ v) K% XPartially dry off.( S/ v) i1 Y% e! p
" F! [& |% v5 p! u3 wFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. * P7 d& h- _$ F0 W; I
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Admire wiener size in mirror again. / c8 a; N' ?; `+ C o
# u4 B) f' Y1 ]Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed. 7 T: i( ?& {7 k/ P
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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