 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : ' l/ a/ R9 {1 z: _& U
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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1 Q5 \, L# v2 j* m) Z- U0 d4 fWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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+ Y# d R- K% nIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.$ ]* Q6 \0 p; h7 n+ H) X% R) q
. s- J6 y9 y( w3 z( A8 XLook at your womanly physique in the mirror -- . u( o. o" m- I$ U
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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/ g2 w0 H5 W& A" ~* IGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 0 l' [$ N) k0 o- K
# \) f$ `4 ]$ o/ j; E9 A! g, g# WWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 4 Q/ \, x B& B
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.- S1 i. {' L; [9 w! j5 }* Q6 G
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..+ r! V1 }4 D4 k( G3 y7 X
7 q8 `& k; ^6 H5 j3 fWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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Rinse conditioner off hair.
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. |' U1 G3 X! j' ]) }Shave armpits and legs.
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Turn off shower.+ L l3 I# E# e8 t* S4 O
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.) L0 q1 m2 }, m0 n
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Spray mold spots with Tilex. & f. ]5 T# X3 \2 h* F0 ~0 \
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. $ p. o( M7 M8 e1 v
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: 4 N* ^1 X( \/ O6 v3 M% I% n2 L, q
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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+ G/ F s" K; }6 K5 X7 n: @2 AIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. ; w) j& B2 B7 A9 ^% K& k, i7 ]
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. " e1 C/ L/ U( Q! T1 R
% ~4 A* T1 y3 l7 wGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. * b+ G" D, T' x, M/ j. O7 O, P
1 ^) c% M+ }+ F( j# GBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. ( e; t, m/ h) O% p4 s; W
5 t2 S! n! I2 b9 A& r% ^+ \! T* v) sFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 8 i# t' x1 U e' K5 [3 V/ o7 s
: A' a9 c1 @' y, V& M4 [; ASpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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5 c T- U! [. G9 DWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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8 t' V- X* v3 bWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Pee.
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6 g# p) g$ ~# x7 T6 uRinse off and get out of shower.
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Partially dry off." m3 I6 F- ^; ?8 n- ]2 J/ ]) ^, I
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. ( q$ a% B7 _% d- o% m
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. , v0 N% N& W, q l& ?' p
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed. : J, h* g q9 X( ~% r
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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