 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : % r2 m2 W' H$ x3 d8 i
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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# U( f9 [6 |" [: s, @Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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! s0 l# {$ s! [& {1 JIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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0 ]: h* J4 k1 p4 BLook at your womanly physique in the mirror --
" n( U& j( v9 lmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.2 A9 c0 u# B2 j& d; o
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. * a' `$ m5 ?2 p7 Q" q
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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- H6 H0 V7 t5 f$ v+ O$ FWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..3 y# Q: T) {% i4 _ C0 g
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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5 s% T" z/ q6 {# ~; p( n5 Y1 rWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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Rinse conditioner off hair.$ c9 J, G- \0 i" N" {
4 u7 M# P& E4 `; O, iShave armpits and legs.& e5 F! c+ h( R% Y+ O+ E
8 f* [$ I: {' b7 K* v1 Q) T" k! kTurn off shower./ G/ j4 q# B0 F0 L" j) R5 N) i
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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2 j9 F8 o, t/ y' W9 eSpray mold spots with Tilex. 7 ]1 w/ A; M) `2 F
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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1 Z) m5 p7 A+ f( K9 qWrap hair in super absorbent towel. ; Y' x( _, A2 x- i3 g/ l) x9 d
) ]; n" p: A# x* f4 i) yReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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) z2 V q# z; QHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: & u1 h; B6 s& v* } _
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. % e" a' z' \$ f% Z" @, z7 t
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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D) a/ e, l2 h6 T( \! _If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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! y% c! N! }) z* F' p0 GGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. ; w2 m5 J1 N" k# W& {# j1 M/ `
8 F; ?+ b% q) U. jFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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# A" t! p: B/ y5 |* [Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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$ W. F! g6 E0 z/ b3 a/ n- HWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. 9 T2 \, Y+ [* u4 z' x$ H
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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Partially dry off.$ ?% c% A) x: i* B$ q
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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Admire wiener size in mirror again. $ o7 ~7 d$ T( _+ b( D* W5 S% K
1 l6 e% n* {4 ]Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. / K |4 {, z* b& W
; J+ x. ~6 {- H! @; yReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed.
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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