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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new * x4 z. b5 N2 f
BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a
  t- w6 D$ C% m" J( v! y; q! W, dBroni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window
2 N6 R4 J+ r2 T3 s! H2 ~and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your : \5 A9 C6 n( W2 H
flock, will you give me one?"
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" D* q9 w/ S' r5 W% [7 PThe shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his
) z$ ]6 Y" |) C6 R% S, C' z; b  Ipeacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."
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The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a
( k, x! o; ^; ~5 F$ W! W. icell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a
2 O5 N, O; b* A! X; x5 r$ w9 `GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database 2 ]8 ~# e) `3 w! z
and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his 7 w7 D* x% g* s4 g/ l
Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out ( U0 @/ J: H/ `: K6 Y, o; f$ _
a 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and
, L/ N! d) C: N; J% g  Asays,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".
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8 [/ L0 d5 o7 @' g"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd.
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% M4 a. N& Q4 m5 D" pHe watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his
3 K; y5 M- d6 I# Bcar.; f! I8 o- P+ ?7 Q2 C: I

- A8 l& x+ N8 e  f: RThen the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business
( ]1 ]" L8 A+ r$ G+ D3 _; Qis, will you give me back my animal?"
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* W( }7 S1 K. ]7 k"OK, why not" answered the young man.
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"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd.
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"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
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( @! G! {5 A6 x"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although   A2 {. `2 L* h1 k6 }  g
nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a
& p9 m1 v; c+ n" x/ ^question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give # w  \' {; s8 _
me back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is $ d7 u: @; H/ o2 |
undone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open".
5 l9 U4 ?: y: I8 I0 gNot having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few
1 M% Z7 z* f, o9 R1 l8 ~moments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper
+ u! t& i  \+ R, Nwas undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran
" \6 j% `8 a: x! |3 winto the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into 0 P# Q: p  R: I, z
her unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was
1 w; T3 E6 K% s" Mopen, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman 8 W, |! P4 U& e3 h
responded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle
# l. _/ K' |8 u# bbags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons, - t8 ?6 T9 n! O( G2 Q% [
where they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy.
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' \9 W# B% u7 }9 o/ h: K* I4 sThe first man married a nurse.
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy.
/ C: r  R5 G3 y( L' Z( MNurses are known to be hot to trot".6 ^7 n2 o4 ^3 w, E8 q  Z4 `$ f2 l
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The second man married a telephone operator. ( ?3 L  u% O( g" V

3 W; [5 i: a( Z# g/ qDave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one.
9 }  a7 Z6 a* s* s* v( lTelephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top + g6 Z  x0 D7 O
button...A-bomb.?/ b6 a3 f9 J  s

' s/ l8 l) w/ O2 K9 f/ r! aThe third man married a school teacher.
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty 7 ~# R7 V* g3 K  A
but teachers are just too frigid".
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3 W: }/ ?4 A6 d5 B& pThe next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected & p/ v: t: W! ?, z
only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two ! \, |+ [: _) I5 Y
would call much later in the day.
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At 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The
8 k, B7 O9 ]4 v) ~% H% knurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's
0 j! d$ o4 L" H% g- R% qpajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed. + ]$ c2 D! a5 G; b6 U' a  J: `
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Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.
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) ]1 L0 [1 T0 Q: w7 l& l* YThe man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night
6 |1 o, W0 m6 \' Q. [) L' mwas her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."- Z  G% H! K5 g9 Y( e# P( h+ y
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At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.
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5 x& {7 v: K# v5 w6 {The telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast
* M  H( E2 W# ~as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back 4 E/ W6 a& P2 T) P5 e
in shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.: q. ?/ @& A( u6 U( F/ X5 y. t
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Dave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as
6 }! C9 n, b  `% t) V. }( \* H" Mtheir voices."
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7 l( x7 U" k7 J, R5 {The man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I 1 J% ?7 q" w8 j* P$ m7 U
heard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your ; M( _; K/ \4 ~7 V' o
three minutes are up." 1 t* d: X- B, K, j' ^

9 [' \0 ^; t2 e' z7 ?- @Dave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be " K$ z% J- ], e/ i
calling any minute.# t, f" T& ^$ k% ~  j1 a

6 e3 z2 E5 u6 h2 @Finally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.6 d( y! x: V1 C( Z! t4 h

# k2 ~5 y* B$ V1 o8 {# @Dave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The
/ l3 E# L# X, _9 Uman opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only
. l- `. Z- ]  @& Y& p* b% W* o/ chis boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and 0 b4 T( @& d" A- @% o( Z3 U
legs.6 H7 A. k+ m1 J: b
2 Y8 @( N! u5 M/ Y  y
Joe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a
) b* m/ u9 _' K, ~fight?" 0 U+ z8 {6 @6 c6 Z
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The man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry 3 N" i+ A6 D. v2 X; O) ?
a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We
5 k6 R# X, ^2 oare going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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