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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new
5 x1 A; Y" `, _" CBMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a
" g9 B  |2 n' Z4 n" t; T* ]. _% sBroni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window + b0 Z' v3 j7 a2 k; G* N& n) F( n- H
and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your
, V0 C1 J( F6 dflock, will you give me one?"
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. O  R' {) k) T9 ]- w& Z7 @The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his
) i* B' E3 {0 q, y& i* n. Bpeacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."
5 ~) n5 |2 F% ^9 z
9 u( |! N: V3 t. YThe yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a 3 t/ d" ?' M# s& E3 H3 W* S, M# X
cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a - @' E2 {) X0 v& W! x- c# G: E
GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database
! a5 g, T7 Y1 @# T0 ^and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his
+ Z9 u5 s# w4 w6 G9 ^Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out % V+ y+ z% `2 X6 E4 E
a 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and $ _' Y- n3 `0 N& @. s% l
says,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".
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"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd.
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He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his
7 x/ b+ q' b" C9 Q5 Q! P) F2 ecar.) }* R6 e- z3 k  M
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Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business
! g) }7 r2 T* {0 k+ |is, will you give me back my animal?". p% d+ k: P, {& }1 j3 {; ?" C' \
  q: o7 r* |9 M, P7 N0 @5 ]
"OK, why not" answered the young man.
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"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd. - }) G- k# |& b/ I$ M' r( f3 w- g
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"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
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* I$ g* \6 l0 X0 e4 Z4 l"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although
7 Q6 J8 _5 a$ F" u/ \9 nnobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a % g( ~: p& W3 n2 m
question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give . D+ B2 }! X; \2 y" M
me back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is
9 r( |7 _% f4 F' L/ s6 M  _undone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open". & P' S( n& v# D, |# d
Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few
( n: Y/ Y' _  Qmoments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper 0 M  ]) ]( K" B+ @9 q: e' Q
was undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran   l2 G& x& ]" k. n# d  n. T
into the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into 7 R7 C9 M* j/ G# Z0 @; \' K5 ]
her unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was % l1 s- G* p! G
open, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman
, ?) w& S5 `' j8 B: wresponded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle ! ?5 ?9 T2 J) E% k1 S
bags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons,
( ?* D. \% C4 A  O8 S: Swhere they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy. : e  H3 L5 m) C- t3 _9 x" b: j7 Y

' h- \6 ~+ X$ w8 q' t  G( aThe first man married a nurse. 5 t. `, j, p0 l. `& _3 r. m1 `

0 Z$ s. v+ z, a# fDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy.
/ k# [9 f) d8 p! N6 z5 W$ eNurses are known to be hot to trot".
" P: E5 x: x) b( X9 T
4 x' N' r" e3 y4 f' w3 U4 HThe second man married a telephone operator.
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one.
* U% m" I- n: J8 w- Q' nTelephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top . z1 A- w# \* k; B& J
button...A-bomb.?; P& y* q9 c1 W
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The third man married a school teacher. . d9 e1 E% y3 f6 H
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty
+ H6 R: v# ]3 r0 lbut teachers are just too frigid".2 P  q8 b* {* v
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The next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected
: R2 X3 v, S5 X4 A* Z9 k; bonly the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two
) H1 W& d/ U$ d& G  Cwould call much later in the day.' ~! z) ]3 q; h  `/ n. G

& ]4 M; U' Z# f7 cAt 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The 6 i4 E8 [) @( G. r2 c
nurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's , n: A; Q9 A0 ~: J9 C3 x/ c* ]; _
pajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed.
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2 v# J+ t- m* ^; ?2 E8 SDave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.: f' @% V5 |! B  G; t
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The man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night " U/ W7 C3 E/ C% d" I
was her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."  {8 Z8 |+ c- F, z9 Z/ H1 m
6 g2 a( |& k$ p/ v2 [, }
At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.3 e. G& i2 T6 S4 W& K; [, ]

( b* t6 {  v5 l! N: |The telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast 7 W, F4 X0 r) B" c0 ~
as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back " w2 Y) K/ f9 l- \
in shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.3 _, w0 w$ }6 Y% w& u  M- P" Q

% v7 m  [' f+ N$ z% zDave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as * K. K  Z7 i' @+ T
their voices." & H; k  T- B  g/ s$ f7 V

$ K( g! K5 k7 y* s; xThe man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I . h# Y6 ~7 a- J$ X/ d& ^
heard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your . \$ k: \5 @( h; e0 M) V. R
three minutes are up." 4 F1 q+ |! F9 k$ r' q/ b
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Dave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be
4 k9 d  v6 D. x% h3 e: ~0 tcalling any minute.' F  e- M# u! ]9 ?/ [7 A
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Finally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.
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Dave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The 6 i6 \6 d5 K! @$ F: n; M8 {" N
man opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only
* ]( F1 a3 i  p+ v9 {his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and
, ]* w+ s1 h9 Nlegs.
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Joe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a 5 f4 v) C2 V6 F
fight?"
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The man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry
+ w6 ?. d/ Q' d$ Z7 K9 `a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We
3 g- R1 N* z* n5 {8 w1 S6 ^9 u! B" a3 jare going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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