Never Say to a Cop:

OliveOil

NEVER SAY TO A COP:
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- ^( c) B$ z$ ~+ }1 R. q9 I1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)

2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

: J* t2 L' c4 G* l8 }" J/ j3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
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4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!

5. Are You Andy or Barney?

6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
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7 U% v+ L% G; l- T7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

8. I pay your salary!
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9. Gee, Office r! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
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10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
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11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.

2 @" n+ A% f2 @7 \& q4 x, ^12. When the Officer says "Gee .Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with, "Gee, Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"