 鲜花( 77)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Blonde Car Accident$ j/ Z+ X+ y% E9 ? U) \
One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.
* ^6 j) ~( ~0 p* O# i' G$ \- e& C" h4 q6 ?
The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.
- p. |% P- g% v7 A" ^3 I8 P5 n! ~, n( p
He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.
$ b B5 z4 Z4 S9 H4 V; }' Y) X
3 v, m' n) o; @2 t1 _3 VFurious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires." f: O5 |' _# R+ O! H4 ]" o1 c; N
E J4 M, |. x+ \4 ?( K0 YThe blonde started laughing.+ h: W( J2 j" j3 c
4 O0 C. \5 C8 p: t& uThis made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.
5 `! M; N+ X$ x7 f# q, z1 J2 `, e8 T/ u4 B, Z2 e
This time the blonde laughed even harder.4 W$ F' R# K- U* D* M- ]
; O2 }: n7 W4 |- ~8 RLivid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.
/ b) }$ O+ V! V" V: l# l) ?. |* ~
4 ]: z/ Q! i; _& s U. w4 \8 s) z! a( oThe blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.
$ m3 d2 D# v( ^. I6 P9 j. c& Q' K+ K
The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"
6 i, z h3 A: b: h& f, w( B: B( Z! C7 q
Rowing Your Boat
8 [+ R; _6 |8 g. s( RTwo blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat.
4 s7 S, x6 g$ E) N& r8 H) B& y3 c: K7 a
The driver blonde turned to her friend and said "You know - it's blondes like that that give us a bad name!"
2 L2 f$ x% t/ z$ d, x
$ [* U$ [! Q& b3 WTo this, the other blonde replies "I know it, and if I knew how to swim, I'd go out there and drown her."6 u8 R. Y7 i& P5 o5 ^/ S6 ]& S
% |8 \; U9 T+ D
I Want to Buy That
. K5 S& g9 _' n0 v1 x6 f6 IA blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.$ W; f# M' I( r* q" k- |
& x6 o- b4 B$ p' k3 \! T- YThe clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.( V' S( m1 }8 G2 L/ Y: @9 Z
' l/ G; D# N5 a+ w. ^, @& IThe next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.
/ V. \* x" z( K& o5 b- ^5 ]; d, p- Q6 p4 _! x# R M
Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.
% y+ g+ i5 `0 _' }, t w8 G& f- m- Z: ?" ]; b2 e6 P' ~" j
Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.
% S* J* X5 v) V+ ^; U% Z/ m& [: ? x! l8 c
To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes./ Q$ |0 Y1 V8 @* _
9 f6 c: F5 v$ f( w5 |/ SThe blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?"
( K! a' Q% c" H8 x
4 w0 A2 B' Y0 Z9 h" {+ o, K8 }The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!"7 y2 `3 ~9 K: P: X: J
/ m3 n( p$ T! i5 BAre You Really Sure?/ A# F1 M3 c* r
A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?") O& d- t8 K2 t
$ P$ X: V) r/ } G7 zIn a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."5 l; I8 _; @3 B# p
' I3 c. {& Z I+ _3 J
Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"
. u" k/ ] J5 X7 ^. o, \4 W- P
8 H9 v/ k! c0 ZThe blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
) a9 _" ?% v+ M( j, I n: I: M: |' a2 a9 F/ Y$ J
Blonde Sky Divers
8 x g+ s1 Z5 T/ UA blonde and a brunette are skydiving.
! |3 F+ U6 H8 q2 e# q8 F
1 O# `! v+ C. T, Z3 xThe brunette jumps out the plane and pulls the cord -- nothing happens.
0 u+ |5 u4 E$ W; V6 M: m+ B! A/ x! Y6 q) S9 \5 b
She pulls the emergency cord and still nothing.
0 T% @3 d: h: f! T' A% E
) |" T4 q: I {2 A' j3 h- |The blonde finally jumps out of the plane and yells "Oh! So you wanna race, huh?"# _( L: _( P% E6 M
8 [9 l1 m' w2 G) F
[ 本帖最后由 Xbfeng 于 2008-10-7 13:31 编辑 ] |
|