 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
/ ^7 j7 N: y, a' C4 G+ L: e; |
CEO -- Chief Embezzlement Officer.
: d- b/ u Q# u, f& tCFO -- Corporate Fraud Officer. * r5 e: W" k- C$ B! O3 T1 G
, {# g5 K" Z0 ^4 ]BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
* q9 B# x1 m. f+ ? Q5 ~* dBEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
) F! q7 A; B6 ]2 n
) W+ R. B. V5 t DVALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.
7 D- \! Z$ ^ O2 W" x( O$ p, W- Q2 i3 u* D
P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing. 1 ]2 D) o1 ]5 @# [, _
. z; G6 ]: p( ?, `3 GBROKER -- What my broker has made me. 2 u. X) p/ j7 u$ w9 l1 e5 V
; ?4 ?6 L8 W5 R8 ~! b7 PSTANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.
+ p3 X! q& d+ {; J; x$ J$ o) a+ o) p
" O2 Z# {+ o1 r! rSTOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
8 b. U* F1 ]+ V1 l4 ~! ?& c5 P* K# E1 q
STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
5 f- \8 t6 w: `$ t: B4 T" i* ~$ O8 P1 m! e4 }5 N7 _2 O
FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
? e7 V5 Y% {& H# w$ e4 O3 N5 M) g* F2 D8 R ^) }$ |7 L
MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks. # S0 G- B4 X! w
+ C! L m0 h: J2 f8 Y- {CASH FLOW -- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
3 A" c. ~3 q* u- T
8 A: [* o, [, o$ O5 _YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
; T p/ i- U' Q0 z6 G# m& K2 F
/ S$ H# \: W* k- C- U3 uWINDOWS 2000 -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.
1 R+ U/ @6 X u. W( J8 {
" S% {" R h) j2 cINSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse. + n7 [ L7 B- r
2 g8 h2 x1 t( f# a% l' g7 ^/ xPROFIT -- an archaic word no longer in use.
4 L; z7 D1 ^1 c1 i6 O! S
6 p9 i' Z+ F+ V, V``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` & b; X' S7 I: z. Y- g
If you had purchased $1,000 of Delta Air Lines stock one year ago, you would have $49 left.
; S8 x4 A* f7 Z" z5 nWith Fannie Mae, you would have $2.50 left of the original $1,000.( [4 ~0 j5 A, x+ `4 g
With AIG, you would have less than $15 left.' t& w& A2 y% [# S! v
But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drunk all of the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling REFUND, you would have $214 cash. + a" p: F% [- t
Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.
# b; c, v" v/ h5 e5 o9 {) n
* [0 C. e! t( _6 N: G`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
0 A% C5 X6 t- V- z5 |$ H2 R: u a# c) r) d+ z* p
What is the difference between a Wall Street Stockbroker and a pigeon? " ?6 ]8 P4 ]' y! Y
* ?1 ?6 H5 N3 n# [# a" D0 ^9 ?! a A pigeon can still make a deposit on a Mercedes., i6 D8 t5 A8 l- f2 N6 p( \
" ?6 A7 y, U* \``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````( y2 u9 |& p1 n9 ?0 c
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common... 7 E6 L. I) c2 E, ^7 d& F
8 O, I3 |4 L4 \- R ...they should both be changed regularly and for the same reason. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2008-11-22 15:26
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
楼主
