Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
3 ?' j  @8 Q$ x1 {Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
/ \  O3 G* C- A6 kand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
( u6 t" |! j* YExtensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
: y! O4 ~0 O% n1 Q+ f6 {Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
" W! {( O8 \: L- yAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
+ l1 o/ H: O5 l. \the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
- g4 \8 Q' I. e, xMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
$ p* ^9 L! k  D3 g4 HMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
1 |0 j6 Y: \; Y+ O0 O/ A  x7 KMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
  X! ^$ j# x8 ~- h! t0 f& IMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
. D  y) E) V% iMust assume final, complete accountability for
7 d0 c# u4 b9 u7 O) rthe quality of the end product.
  s# t9 N. j4 t) h9 J, }" d% X6 ~6 eResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
9 r$ Y0 o# i$ p, I  c( W1 Hjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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2 f6 `9 d/ B* M# YPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
* \  z# r$ p+ }2 Z+ |Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
. O1 |/ Z- B4 iwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
) _! j$ I4 \1 h  g& HNone required, unfortunately.
2 D: K5 l, T: R  Z9 b9 }On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

- Y' D. q  A7 s0 g; w3 Y& @WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
' k& M+ h0 P4 C6 Q. H+ RGet this! You pay them!
+ w2 V4 u1 F* T+ u4 kOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
& p( L+ g3 Y) \* m3 o6 ya balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
, l" L" x9 ~. ^( m0 Iof the assumption that college will help them
+ W- {3 f8 T& z. R$ r" `: Kbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
0 y& @/ ?8 h+ Y/ I5 ryou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

! V( S8 A( Z# L/ D; s. bBENEFITS:
, `/ g$ h( y* ?7 k/ h4 ZWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
2 p6 w* {* o7 h$ I' |this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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4 h4 j5 g' s1 _- Vunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

, d# H/ M3 d! \3 f+ wfor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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( F  n! Q: r! D  t& M% F' [3 v2 MForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
  \3 m9 G2 V. o" G" n& Sfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.