Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
0 F  y8 H5 q3 M0 UMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
& u$ I5 h- K' \3 u5 a

5 Z" a/ s1 Y0 U; KJOB DESCRIPTION:
& g* m- c$ I3 n3 D* x3 ]Long term, team players needed for challenging,

3 k9 j; w8 o6 ?% a) `permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
! {7 {. n2 t$ uCandidates must possess excellent communication
( Q( z, @: s2 ]3 V. D  xand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
) _$ I( L6 \9 C3 n  v6 a! jand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
" G: D0 t7 ^  J  ], k1 S. K0 q6 v0 nendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
" o# S$ g) ^3 s+ u: u, p. XExtensive courier duties also required.
9 a0 Q  {1 z" q% G- w
RESPONSIBILITIES:
! N& E" X! ]( R( d3 t+ V( tThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
* t, B6 d1 T( S3 v8 Kuntil someone needs $5.
; O  A6 x8 C6 J0 R. \5 x: ]8 QMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
$ n, I8 y- k7 P# ?" n* b' P3 I! s( bin case, this time, the screams from
4 n) t5 Q8 U5 W$ g( Qthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
% v  n9 r* U0 D$ Y& w0 QMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
2 c+ }6 X: D0 v$ N) K+ k- D8 o, eand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
  W, q" Y; a; m+ \& [) WMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
' |* W" F0 d6 W+ B& YMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
3 W2 z1 z- F: h- U; CMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
) g4 z( W9 ?7 w6 _0 A$ kMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
# q* m$ ^- @8 ^Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
, s( C% X- e' e' d* Wcan ultimately surpass you.
3 n# D7 ?2 h0 P" n
+ z" ~( z2 Z' T
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
$ y  q& L9 B: Q8 zOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
8 U! X0 f' `- Y5 z7 o0 F
WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
; z$ f  R9 g) o$ W& ?9 z/ ROffering frequent raises and bonuses.
) M: a/ e% f, i# _# I# u; S+ [0 N& Ga balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
) ?9 Q2 n6 a% j2 H8 ~/ ]2 Pbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
3 z$ N7 G9 z# y) a, |+ Q% V
) f/ [( X" c( r' G  D% k, H5 G: L5 i  \BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
; J9 A) f5 r# H/ Dno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
7 W+ m: ]3 X8 {$ M% Athis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
  [. l, \4 i" R- D% d8 \' B
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
, S& s. X" J5 v- J$ J4 z
for life if you play your cards right.
; s  }7 i' G+ Q, t+ O& ^

( T. \  @' r* h
7 E0 u$ g" L# ]4 Y
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


8 N; T9 o. v. ?3 v' S: |
8 G' c7 ]. C* [- b( QForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

" ~" D. T; b5 Y

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.