 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma 8 ?7 v7 F" |( a. T8 z- F, z
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa6 x5 A( H& v; [0 x
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; X5 A( d, V( SJOB DESCRIPTION:: e# D- b8 S' [' i
Long term, team players needed for challenging,6 I ^( o2 n# l0 B1 F3 Q
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment. 3 u8 \4 ]: U, |5 w' s
Candidates must possess excellent communication ) s$ n5 Z$ j+ ~( ?
and organizational skills and be willing to work
$ F; C1 @+ a+ H! y$ ?2 b' Z! ovariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends ; |# { {2 s2 r8 ~' z0 e8 v* r
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
7 O7 b6 S; s1 N! s2 u5 vSome overnight travel required, including trips to
9 I& @# r% b3 \7 X: n# J2 m6 bprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
4 _6 ~2 E4 Q- i: N7 q4 Kendless sports tournaments in far away cities! b. S$ K1 H& \# [) F' g5 Z
Travel expenses not reimbursed. ; C7 @( T l8 P7 S O$ z
Extensive courier duties also required.
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4 k& h, B# E$ g: J& {RESPONSIBILITIES:
! K9 k) Z2 ?% mThe rest of your life. 2 z; k: U$ L$ q# `& v2 I
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, ' q; s P1 N7 ~5 R
until someone needs $5. ! |/ Q7 |6 g- f8 A3 @
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
5 r ?8 \/ J/ f$ b! ^: N( i/ rAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
; |/ d, P9 p0 nand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
, f% z* }& J* A3 D0 Ein case, this time, the screams from $ T' H, V+ _# P+ D" E
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. I1 ]4 R0 ` G" P
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, 2 {" q& r; G/ U: @
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets 5 P! n& W2 b3 t( L/ B/ e, ^
and stuck zippers.
, y) j6 t; w2 k! u+ K/ j9 rMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and 7 P1 L% B( x$ i. X5 T- A
coordinate production of multiple homework projects. 5 w4 m( o3 g" Y& @0 ]* s$ y; \
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. * o# ^, @* y) u+ q/ @, e G2 W. H
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
. @ a9 z F/ H3 H% {$ l% |# fan embarrassment the next.
* I' I" X8 {0 n, @Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
( d! H7 M$ M$ N4 \; d! E0 ghalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. j5 ?* f: m/ h" S- Y4 c# y' e
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
8 B2 g: [ H, R# B MMust assume final, complete accountability for
" ]; Z/ I. B4 I8 v& a0 P" dthe quality of the end product.
% F$ N4 U& |" M5 B+ qResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
# B6 e, m$ D( cjanitorial work throughout the facility. % P, m/ ]$ S& i) \7 V7 _
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:/ D7 p/ w0 }# D: z6 \# f' k
None.
' N, G3 _! ?/ H$ ]4 X6 U `9 tYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
: X9 Y& L& S; K. ?6 W& owithout complaining,constantly retraining and 2 P; V4 l9 t, h% v9 D2 Z( h
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
" m9 q, c8 S7 R# bcan ultimately surpass you.4 V5 R. O$ k$ P8 V: @5 L. K0 T; M
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
/ Z" p" a" R0 J3 x: }. x" U/ ]None required, unfortunately. % S) f! C- d) f' _, ^, }6 q2 x8 G
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION: 2 f- u6 Z+ f; ~) ?1 [
Get this! You pay them! + [8 W- R! ^8 H5 |3 p
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
' p- Y" i& b* U/ ?* p9 ~! sa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because 3 P; Z% i# I4 {+ A
of the assumption that college will help them 5 C9 Z5 H3 W( F7 n6 g, p' ? {
become financially independent.
0 t4 g i/ R$ S+ a, L0 `: pWhen you die, you give them whatever is left. 8 I' p5 E1 K' S6 ^0 @6 E: H
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
( [0 u# O/ q% Z3 r+ \, ~- Cyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
' [2 e5 N# ]& o# U0 vWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, : f, O; _ d4 m' k
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
1 J/ F0 E0 W' u( x s$ Ano stock options are offered,6 g0 b7 z% w0 M O7 h3 ?
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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9 c3 N/ R# m( t7 E$ H |6 Yunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses 4 K* p+ Y3 S" s- F
" u e# Z. c" V" lfor life if you play your cards right.( R, @, j: _% e
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, ( l+ S' W3 f/ ~. y+ W* ~! e( o
letting them know they are appreciated
2 H# X7 ?+ N y( ~1 Nfor the fabulous job they do...
$ d, r6 G+ l$ b. Q: W! ~or forward with love 2 c" T* o" Y$ w( I% o1 K2 k) G# t
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
