 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.( ]& O! l) p, ]; G
: }6 e6 P s2 D, \, v
I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
2 L, @8 M# A& p- |4 E/ w0 b& O; f- m
I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
& C( I8 }9 z4 ^8 | F) }: X
! l3 V0 c O+ K. h. y4 b, B% CI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
4 L3 o; w) b9 U: C
) k3 n9 A' i7 o) ^"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
6 } ~ B2 ~* T/ f$ |! y" d) y) N9 X8 T/ T6 ~! n* r9 q0 Y/ g
I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
! F8 g! t0 H+ U
8 K+ e2 ~0 K9 [, d2 I: PAnd the second one was:7 f$ P1 ~5 Y$ r# g7 i! k3 L
# u: s7 p- h. C- O"What's the 2nd Amendment?"5 u. Z5 N4 r1 R6 J O$ x9 I" k
1 K0 X5 A; U, J$ h& `! Y
I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
$ B6 S" n/ O- W) [, r5 `' Z- O( {3 g8 [& f5 S8 H* W
"What is Roe vs. Wade?"$ n# M" U7 ?# W e5 e
+ X+ S$ [6 l! D/ f' v& MI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?% v1 E4 T8 D4 ?% b$ u
$ t8 q& @/ d- o' @/ v' e3 _& yI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
9 |3 _. U7 j- z! [5 T2 X5 ]0 q
( `$ @2 ~7 [$ f$ _/ E! o& FI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
' y- F$ g: [5 U/ l! o$ h+ S% C D% m- X
So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
. i1 @, S* j7 \- ]$ z0 k/ E8 r8 [% u, G. c* U
Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
" F1 F% a3 W/ L4 j; @/ k5 ?
" \: K# K+ p w7 C' I5 B uThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
: p1 c/ ?+ |; h7 ^; j$ o; e, N& B* e. g6 }+ w
Thank you very much!
1 i3 @2 t7 a# w9 ]5 {; y
& G, t! d. d1 V( ]8 }==========================/ A+ h/ k1 r; u( T
/ O F/ t- U) V; L
Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:2 q0 g# O, _7 n/ L! m
' C& a# p, D t$ |7 o) D( r1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.$ _% x. r' l5 l, ~. A* @3 k
7 p: u# o3 A+ b: o7 r! r2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.5 [/ @6 G- p" O8 H3 N( G- I! P
/ j) K/ ?9 L6 |; @* I5 @2 S"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.0 ~! L2 u; {- G$ s, }
# f2 N+ |! J7 b* H5 l: n+ Q4 X% hJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".1 \$ M% }& M: d
) D3 A: y- d- D
Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
- k5 C6 t% q" ` M' p0 ?) ?
7 Z9 c7 z% e- N+ q3 m4 }( QThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
