 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.. L) w/ h0 f+ C$ |7 t6 J
# h# F0 f9 l$ C4 tI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.! j" R, [7 a- d8 X
: Z) y$ c& |5 Y9 G8 h: ~I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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0 r6 ?% Y% d$ n) wI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?", q6 _: J) e2 x8 Y; Z
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was:" q* \; v* p' c( E; J
+ X/ Z% s4 n$ u: p"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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+ g; G. q) h+ B* k. W& M: fI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?: Y3 Y8 k: x) I- X
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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$ M& b9 h( w4 PI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."! ^4 t/ ]' U. }$ Q- Z
2 y# H- f/ s; {2 eSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"# O6 q$ N$ [) n: B- i& x. D
7 V% @/ [. a/ q1 D2 Y; C4 cNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”3 m' W+ u9 A5 B! O$ [# U& ]8 \
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.; g9 q! A. W% j ~) L
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Thank you very much!
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:7 x" k A7 v! [! u$ G3 B
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.: s& s! O6 Q8 j) u9 ~0 `
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.+ v9 A% T2 `8 g' f, v l9 f8 v e; ^7 j
& M( T* |1 u" b3 I8 F- a1 @Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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7 V0 W t q0 X% ?The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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