 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.* m! g$ D$ n& _: \- R
`+ E) F$ R1 u2 l% @I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.3 [+ n7 \* |7 Y! g
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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' x2 Y/ a! i9 {7 L' SI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:. q; F9 ], X8 C# \ F$ ~7 a9 J
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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: r; H0 p$ s0 |' ^# MI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was:) }6 X: j$ ~9 h
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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& b4 u, r8 G/ O7 fI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?0 R: R1 C2 B1 c9 \& [) z4 v9 X, \$ g
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"7 w) {9 d, W t6 L2 C7 C% h, T
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?% ~ u. J) @! J% u& B
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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0 [/ _; k7 H N+ b) D% W8 yI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."4 }' J& r8 n& S' @) s# z; O
' c# M" j4 G7 C$ o$ n( f2 N3 |So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"5 Q/ p+ i& [1 M
2 ]2 s+ X/ G7 c; H, A) C3 g: g* ]Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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9 u' w2 W; _4 x& w/ b5 T! k) [Thank you very much!5 H# D5 s/ @" R ]8 v
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5 z- O \% X' [& YImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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1 [5 V& p: L3 v) K, z8 n! B2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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; _9 m6 X7 I. Q5 a, B, O; {. G"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.' a7 ] _$ z& b
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".% B V+ W- v$ O, j
7 s0 S# t5 S! }4 K/ T, f7 QRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.4 y7 ?' _ d! |) t7 i! h; W) R
$ T2 x2 u3 C- A' ZThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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