 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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& z$ g$ h) P9 W4 l4 b3 L( V: [I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.% S$ ^! Q7 l0 @# ]
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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T0 i1 v- Q3 b; p$ ], rI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?/ E! X7 n1 o9 e, s, b" {! S9 M7 m
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And the second one was:5 v: ~ h/ ~, l( l z) n9 h, x
4 t1 w9 Y) Q( J# F1 r$ W- C"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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" }6 H3 e8 B/ j"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?; P% _6 H( i2 ^: W
4 J0 k* U S* P5 O" FI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."" L! }" I4 ?2 O0 ^; G) P
) O2 L, A2 j8 tSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”. \: F& ?7 d% l1 _/ D N
# k# @0 l! p( _1 ~: \This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.# b2 p ^1 i- O6 y: f# D) C$ w+ @% F
0 Q( O4 n0 H( x+ k/ MThank you very much!
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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) r4 r8 `* C' X* O# k2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.- h# T2 P2 P7 M
8 c$ o- A+ o# w! B6 a! w9 _"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.* e! F* b8 t/ z u! n0 W
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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% [9 U7 u9 b! Y7 o$ E1 bThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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