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The following is transcript of one of Carlin's program, not the above unfortunately, but it helps to read it.9 z$ A( ?8 ?3 p1 O0 [" g& g
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I love words. I thank you for hearing my words.5 i v! m& q$ _4 K
I want to tell you something about words that I think is important.
# Q, X$ a8 e: H* c3 G- BThey're my work, they're my play, they're my passion.
5 t1 @4 p: h/ q: ]- ?+ i0 W" g9 ?Words are all we have, really. We have thoughts but thoughts are fluid.6 l* G# J$ s! C* o0 e! ^
then we assign a word to a thought and we're stuck with that word for, b3 V6 B& y7 h7 T6 t- f
that thought, so be careful with words. I like to think that the same
* j/ S8 F3 ^0 o4 j- i+ @! n) Iwords that hurt can heal, it is a matter of how you pick them." J) [$ Q! G6 z3 T( M4 d9 d
There are some people that are not into all the words.7 V: E3 \- z! K; ^
There are some that would have you not use certain words.
( f7 y$ u, L% y4 o; U9 d- }There are 400,000 words in the English language and there are 79 t0 `! J5 n1 [7 S
of them you can't say on television. What a ratio that is.
" _7 g2 n4 Z1 Z399,993 to 7. They must really be bad. They'd have to be outrageous; @& D$ w5 H, N4 ^, t
to be seperated from a group that large. All of you over here,you 7,
% H; o; a. E! L2 @' Y& V- ~Bad Words. That's what they told us they were, remember?
6 B0 Y6 \- N6 T"That's a bad word!" No bad words, bad thoughts, bad intentions,$ S3 |' O. u, j' k5 q& Y+ d/ U/ l
and words. You know the 7, don't you, that you can't say on television?
8 b# F2 |4 V$ }# y$ S$ |/ h( Y"Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, CockSucker, MotherFucker, and Tits"5 h/ G7 b [4 [
Those are the heavy seven. Those are the ones that'll infect your soul,, c* v, k1 \8 i X
curve your spine, and keep the country from winning the war.
6 J) z' l* [, L I$ v$ R"Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, CockSucker, MotherFucker, and Tits"
, x, w+ @! T5 g& _- \% h+ H r# D2 \Wow! ...and Tits doesn't even belong on the list. That is such a friendly, S; f3 }% e- c1 L( u
sounding word. It sounds like a nickname, right? "Hey, Tits, come here,/ V8 I/ T/ x; l4 T& V6 j5 y/ t
man. Hey Tits, meet Toots. Toots, Tits. Tits, Toots." It sounds like a: Q C M5 k" L, G, s0 _% S* W' Y
snack, doesn't it? Yes, I know, it is a snack. I don't mean your sexist+ Z$ t g! R) s' I0 `% r
snack. I mean New Nabisco Tits!, and new Cheese Tits, Corn Tits,) \( d5 s# {) ^$ z% B2 z* f
Pizza Tits, Sesame Tits, Onion Tits, Tater Tits. "Betcha Can't Eat Just
- y* O/ l: N' O$ @: ?: POne." That's true. I usually switch off. But I mean, that word does
0 X' `1 ^6 J; g, n# Q2 U7 [- nnot belong on the list. Actually none of the words belong on the list,, h4 L6 P4 g8 H
but you can understand why some of them are there. I'm not
6 p/ K/ @$ d& A3 j9 N3 t" icompletely insensetive to people's feelings. I can understand why
2 _ R7 _( {) a" \' e- ^" C/ zsome of those words got on the list, like CockSucker and
7 u1 }+ F& j' gMotherFucker. Those are heavyweight words. There is a lot going on
7 ]" B- [' C$ c. r! k- \2 y. ethere. Besides the literal translation and the emotional feeling.
2 N: @. j' y* i" X' }* j* |I mean, they're just busy words. There's a lot of syllables to contend2 K E' I+ V6 W' u- r
with. And those Ks, those are agressive sounds. They just jump out at
% o v, Q: J/ [you like "coCKsuCKer, motherfuCKer. coCKsuCKer, motherfuCKer."$ ]' n, t: d( `8 t* V N, X
It's like an assualt on you. We mentioned Shit earlier, and 2 of the$ c7 v) `, X( f A, Z# W5 ]
other 4-letter Anglo-Saxon words are Piss and Cunt, which go* v- S5 A( ?! ?3 z) F. I& ?4 J
together of course. A little accedental humor there. The reason that# ~. S5 I% O( }/ ?# U, z( }% S
Piss and Cunt are on the list is because a long time ago, there were+ L* K) L9 l4 {/ z- R0 J
certain ladies that said "Those are the 2 I am not going to say. I; Y" c8 g1 f$ x4 I& d) k! u
don't mind Fuck and Shit but 'P' and 'C' are out.", which led to such9 B- s: y4 G) W# n4 x F
stupid sentences as "Okay you fuckers, I'm going to tinckle now."5 c( f$ [% R n' ]
And, of course, the word Fuck. I don't really, well that's more
4 m0 r9 d. s0 S" C' q, [2 {5 zaccedental humor, I don't wanna get into that now because I think
: P/ r; m3 t0 J+ Z* j5 fit takes to long. But I do mean that. I think the word Fuck is a very: K7 z0 J5 E5 x/ g( ]" y
imprortant word. It is the beginning of life, yet it is a word we use to
8 `9 { y, Z) c" i. q; z/ Ehurt one another quite often. People much wiser than I am said,0 I3 U3 S7 w$ f$ H1 v7 j
"I'd rather have my son watch a film with 2 people making love
4 b6 A. h) M( Q- gthan 2 people trying to kill one another. I, of course, can agree. It is7 ?+ X7 I2 M, @ ?
a great sentence. I wish I knew who said it first. I agree with that but
( m/ N# Y3 L6 f7 _I like to take it a step further. I'd like to substitute the word Fuck for. H* S- P3 x( q. g& l& T2 k
the word Kill in all of those movie cliches we grew up with. "Okay, W- t% P/ i6 U. K. T9 u" M9 g
Sherrif, we're gonna Fuck you now, but we're gonna Fuck you slow."
: ~. h! R9 P: ~8 G1 xSo maybe next year I'll have a whole fuckin' ramp on the N word.4 X W' n( ?3 P& V- ?
I hope so. Those are the 7 you can never say on television, under any
$ y; C0 e5 E; I: u5 Zcircumstanses. You just cannot say them ever ever ever. Not even( }- ^/ q: k& I1 N3 Z/ C
clinically. You cannot weave them in on the panel with Doc, and Ed,! P# s. k/ R3 t. ~$ P. u7 G8 M& }+ I
and Johnny. I mean, it is just impossible. Forget tHose 7. They're out.
/ j' p' y Y: d: L, O4 S: RBut there are some 2-way words, those double-meaning words.; S% D! \0 u# i
Remember the ones you giggled at in sixth grade? "...And the cock
* N& v: G/ _) N4 s) Y7 h$ C6 E7 o3 hCROWED 3 times" "Hey, tha cock CROWED 3 times. ha ha ha ha. Hey, it's in4 z9 q/ U. c$ ~ x
the bible. ha ha ha ha. There are some 2-way words, like it is okay for5 |- U' [4 r8 m9 z* Q
Kirk Youdi to say "Roberto Clametti has 2 balls on him.", but he can't
8 O9 i j" o" {3 ?- esay "I think he hurt his balls on that play, Tony. Don't you? He's holding7 j4 g# J( J0 }* P( U- P0 X c
them. He must've hurt them, by God." and the other 2-way word that
% O: ]( K- W" y& j' Z# |! Q( n1 |goes with that one is Prik. It's okay if it happens to your finger. You3 N! n/ g- V a/ `& e
can prik your finger but don't finger your prik. No,no. |
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