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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
5 n& V6 s" H. k6 l4 d3 fbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was% R( g0 \6 g5 N9 g: ]
the other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
5 ~( J4 [8 ?" h& L% kspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in% m) H9 Y( ~% q; k: d7 }( p
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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0 t7 f$ Z- R- s& h9 g# tIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make/ e& I' H2 ^5 E; }. J, r
the sivil servants jump with joy.( G% Y( v3 O4 t7 y
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
$ @7 k. ^3 G. l. c( c6 ]konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.0 Y1 [5 W. l2 Z/ b. E4 x! w
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% x1 O" D+ S3 N9 QThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the+ i+ M6 ?6 d6 f
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like/ E& t! L! H. F
fotograf 20% shorter.0 e" g! b2 r! t6 O/ W
6 Q+ |- _ @" E" j9 u% F hIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
# ^( w( w1 t( @* r6 r0 {reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.6 C% G" y+ S; K4 i8 `0 c) `
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
3 ?9 u! c8 {' u% {+ Y% }2 Rben a deterent to akurate speling.+ {. W2 F2 w% Y' r; f6 @3 }
% [; L: M) l/ d4 ^) oAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is, d6 |4 E( {8 p
disgrasful and it should go away.
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4 f- b. Z: @2 @2 w0 c8 j' \5 `By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with4 b! B7 T# j+ a5 F( \9 s
"z" and "w" with "v".2 o; |1 J0 e N* D8 }' P- G
, \; A/ M( ]- O( L( yDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
" m' b f. p, V' ]+ j- D1 safter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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9 z8 X+ e& U- h5 m3 [# J# q! `Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu" Z4 p* V1 q l- \+ \: `
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
{% e: s; l+ T, l. nUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze9 R3 A! T7 i1 F6 ?& E3 H
forst plas.
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- {8 l4 B1 T6 @: f \) {6 uIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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