 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!6 c3 Y' L) K0 [( c9 a
请注意，以下序号都是1不是误写2 o0 ]4 e* P8 M! ]( g
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1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
% X' b. \5 Q: z( ~1 P( P% a5 m1，男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫1 h l2 p8 v [, a8 e' i' U: D/ |
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it5 ~) \: w+ d7 x9 V" _
down.
. L4 H! i: }+ }( d4 ~We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
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leaving it down.& k3 }) Z9 _5 k* F& \
1，学会使用马桶盖，你是个大姑娘了，马桶盖要是翻起来了，你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来，你们需要放下去，你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去？9 a/ t$ x) M" M6 Q- i
( {! t* |, E6 ] I( `" ]/ q# Y1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.9 |2 D# v; [9 t' R9 S# Z* {4 W2 n
Let it be.
6 [& i# Y, E- Q% D1，周日的体育，无论它像满月还是潮汐，随他去6 [+ {! p- Y2 z* X3 r% S* P- l
z' [+ W) B- p, Y2 B1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it* ~" E, |- M, r; O
that way.
: ?# u7 w" N. T. m1，购物不是体育。不，也别指望我们能那么想！7 {3 n' f5 @, o8 ~) w; @* Y" f1 w
7 i8 U8 H! q6 M1. Crying is blackmail.
; l# Y2 q/ i9 E! b; N% N, I1，哭泣是敲诈
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1. Ask for what you want.) O7 Q7 s1 d1 i5 v% N
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!% k$ ^8 |' @0 h! A2 w7 C
Strong hints do not work!" j" T. {8 V9 j E8 k6 c
Obvious hints do not work!- l0 \$ e, ~- k# @* M
Just say it!
$ i* O" W) E( K5 \2 ]5 c% T6 Q! B1，你想要什么就说
6 w9 D$ E: M9 \! {我们再说得清楚点，小暗示不管用，强烈按时不管用，明显的暗示也不管用！想干吗你明说！
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- o& ~6 ]: m8 l1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every ; q y7 w0 E, M2 P2 R7 t
question.
% E6 M& A. v0 R0 [+ `& |1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 （意思是，丈夫仅仅说是，不是，妻子不满意）3 q% T! g# U& S6 @
: j4 G, ~/ P4 f0 P1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's
: m# m; S3 g% Z Y8 u3 Ewhat we do." N" j& F3 B* A# S7 a* e6 g
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.1 l v" n# ?) `* t0 Y* |: G4 f! o
1，如果你有麻烦，可以来找我们帮助解决，可是不要仅仅为了获取同情，那是你们女朋友的责任。& F& h# i' z0 |" |0 I: e; h2 K
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1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor." J3 Z' r" I0 L& ~" Z5 Q, w0 f# ^
1，你要是头疼了17个月，那你应该看医生去
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1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.: N4 H* x6 u/ q- h
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
7 e' t6 P1 L8 l. A% Y1 p3 ^我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及，事实上，我们说的话7天后就作废了
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& | n/ \1 Z9 k8 b% t* o/ }% G7 Z1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us
6 @) d; X1 L# f% Y9 N+ X/ Tto act like soap opera guys.
" U3 i F2 }! ]0 Q# _1，如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密（性感品牌）的女孩子们，那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们4 u/ r+ {, t7 d; T) p; q
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1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.- a) r6 [" ~8 H4 @3 K5 d# s/ T
1，你要是觉得你胖，那你八成就胖，别问我们
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. p- J, s! K0 t5 M9 D6 |( N1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
/ ]9 y7 `/ Z( _5 e1 vmakes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.$ N/ z0 i2 n+ }1 d1 A
1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思，而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒，那么我们本来是另一种意思。( ~$ b F* L5 B& W: y
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（谁有工夫继续一下，谢谢）4 X# ^- V1 A6 f% t6 H
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it
g- L2 K% [) ~, Y% C8 edone. Not both.
+ ?* u2 e; H% Z1 Q# G/ E- D YIf you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.- ]- Z" g( C, S! A
7 X5 D( @9 A$ B) B0 G2 }! E# M1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during6 @1 [1 X6 O; X
commercials.
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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.# V' w5 z7 n8 M% \
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
% j, q9 d) x5 _# j% K/ RPeach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.# Y& i4 y' m! P$ i, p* _
We have no idea what mauve is.
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; y E. U6 R) C3 f1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
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$ K8 c9 ~7 X0 r3 ^7 l- P1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
6 }5 a: \' A [4 R( @* ^nothing's wrong.
$ s2 L7 o2 W& s) yWe know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.2 F3 l/ [) @; x+ ~
9 X: V: T2 M3 v* L" T1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
4 i8 B4 s/ W9 S3 ^8 F% syou don't want to hear.
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1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is( V! i4 s/ C, Z$ h
fine...Really.
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3 {0 S. m* W$ \ M, ?2 Q) H1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to7 F$ e# s2 c e0 W. g, c$ R
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
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0 c3 j4 e% E* R& \, e! l. G1. You have enough clothes.: {; R7 c. p* I5 P
$ `% x- @5 W9 P9 W1. You have too many shoes.
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1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!2 x; e# K3 H% l% l' {
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1. Thank you for reading this. u5 ` c- x' Q1 C
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Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
a4 s, R3 Q0 b0 z- n6 MBut did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.7 ^1 @2 ~, {: E5 M- A+ F5 l
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Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
) D" E* E! g- H0 gPass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05
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发表于 2005-11-11 13:06
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发表于 2005-11-11 16:47
