 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!8 @* ]5 t2 N& K
请注意,以下序号都是1不是误写4 Q$ @1 b6 R* N: ], B! G1 h
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1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.8 u8 w* V, x# n# n
1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫' L& i) q d! e9 v) o( g
. q. r" u5 z7 H$ P8 N' Y: ^% _1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
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We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
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leaving it down.
8 `7 \" H) V0 w- c+ v" h( a# o- x6 }1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?
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1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
J. I9 y2 t) v- ?' ^7 rLet it be.4 R$ y/ u; D- \- L/ u6 T
1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去
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1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
! t+ q1 M$ g9 e2 D1 c }+ _that way.
& `% |. j* r& E2 H) z1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!- k9 P, G* n+ b5 U9 |7 v2 {
. C+ E/ V e7 x! Y" J) g1. Crying is blackmail.
( @+ Q7 X N; u c1,哭泣是敲诈
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4 V& V0 p# ^" c. c9 R6 c) |1. Ask for what you want.) `$ c% P( _3 R3 _: D
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
+ e m9 N8 f- J8 O, P3 M* k- {, l. yStrong hints do not work!+ k! @5 b* m* c7 M6 I/ }& p
Obvious hints do not work!
. d. J% P) S8 zJust say it!
m h6 v2 j6 {1,你想要什么就说
- C0 e2 }- d, A3 n, }1 M我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!/ g2 v. _: S3 Y5 R# C: @
) g) {( y9 w0 {% A! E7 L1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every
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1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意)
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1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's7 |7 }) [7 q6 j1 p+ y0 Y; e1 X
what we do.4 m( q _) Z8 Q, |& f
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1 J% ^0 I5 g' Y1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。
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0 V) ~' A" y* U3 |1 ~1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor., p0 n" H2 k3 b% |) A
1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去
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1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
% [3 y7 l' u7 YIn fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.5 y8 J" z, h5 }: f
我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了
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. \" L$ b( x) k- @6 G1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us( I3 ^" R9 n) g" K: |9 b1 D
to act like soap opera guys.. E- F D2 t7 u: R8 J# F& k
1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们
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' {/ E& b7 h- J# U. r6 ?1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.& z8 \6 E! g7 y
1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们
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1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways& r# h0 j, R6 R9 X; u, `! A
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.. o& p3 o: N$ h3 ?& H4 r* F
1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。3 b5 K2 A# ]+ E
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(谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢)- t, G! f, K$ n
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it
/ E# q/ c1 z X2 H( hdone. Not both.
8 p$ f2 U/ @( i2 x4 r/ i' jIf you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.
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1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during! d# d# N9 o' t$ P/ G2 J& l
commercials.& R( v- d' E0 n9 x6 z
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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.6 Y! u& W/ k* P8 Z; c# b
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
2 d9 S w, I/ r6 B. [- `* YPeach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.$ M2 `0 c& Z0 C& z& o
We have no idea what mauve is.
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C$ W! X3 P1 T# Z1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
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3 i. u7 I/ @* ?, }% X: M1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
+ ?9 Y2 u g; s0 m$ D& w5 t$ t* P: hnothing's wrong.$ v) J4 H! a# j2 X# S$ @6 t' _( _. ?
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle./ _! Y" W7 x; S9 E9 k
: R8 s$ x8 q; q+ ?2 w) d- f1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer: x: D" Z, K! _. M% }$ g
you don't want to hear.# t2 T! \9 M0 [: ~4 E. Y+ ^
4 d4 ~) m0 L* }! R0 Y8 h" W' p; J1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is8 X7 l( Z p: |: Y% r; l) G: Q
fine...Really.
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" e* `. B. n6 X+ y5 H1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to/ w6 _0 y5 P: |; a6 V# s3 f
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.% ]% q' Y1 y- P; L' V
- K( R& Z( K- U% R0 w% d1. You have enough clothes. h7 p3 X' k+ d# z7 W$ Y1 Y5 C
* ^# l; S: K$ E8 m( w4 S& g1. You have too many shoes.
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/ Q. b4 B7 ^& @6 R' G1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
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1. Thank you for reading this.
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# l0 @5 @+ F2 J9 @/ XYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
/ j! _8 v6 v, R+ qBut did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.; |8 k2 r2 V$ a b1 y$ N! |
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Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
: o# x* Z# P7 w4 I9 b( gPass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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