 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
# v. \( R+ d; C) A& L! ?请注意,以下序号都是1不是误写' R' E8 ]7 R7 Y; Q) k
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1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
& _$ [: g# K1 n9 `3 `! [3 m1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫1 e1 j' P; r; o, N2 N3 w) q+ R4 T, a
+ t' E( T+ p7 d9 [' p7 M5 O! d1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
: ?7 A& R2 D; L# idown.) q, Q$ _/ ]# j
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
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leaving it down.
0 Q0 P( G) z$ H0 c1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?
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1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.* n/ B7 g. b* t. {
Let it be.
6 }, I/ S- P1 o+ [! Q9 U1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去( _- y1 n! T6 w( b8 g+ P7 I# c7 _
; G; d5 e, q& u1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
, Q% ~/ C: H) m' {that way.% r! f: k; [5 T5 K* S' l* d3 m( }
1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!
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8 l7 s$ M' z7 T0 W( a' b1. Crying is blackmail.: b- a5 s1 k9 Q8 P7 G* r% H
1,哭泣是敲诈
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1 j9 v+ i( [4 h- S1. Ask for what you want.
8 @( x4 k8 I+ f( W0 \3 ?& lLet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
1 S4 r3 P b7 i7 ^Strong hints do not work!( n( n* l1 R! G* h+ R* K2 L# m
Obvious hints do not work!
8 | {' q; K+ z7 ~5 J# BJust say it!
5 h9 f: j6 p+ j8 x; q$ n {1,你想要什么就说
" ^/ X# }/ N H: J5 B/ K3 d, T$ `我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!
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; k' S( Q4 T0 x! ~ A4 p1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every + U, _) l4 [2 V* p- ]
question.
1 O7 ~; B1 ?5 w1 O1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意)
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2 ]! `1 P6 g# X E# T1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's
4 l& R1 r4 G0 x F6 E- l9 W7 [what we do.
8 _& |. a* p0 t+ {+ u; @Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.+ J6 N4 @4 [' c3 m4 y
1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。
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& `4 q$ P& d! Q+ c" P1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.0 d8 W% ~6 w0 p# F
1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去: g; R2 V& c9 ^0 H, j; C0 E
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1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.! |8 [( N) S' Q e* |: E0 o
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
$ ~' P7 u$ x& |我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了/ A# A+ N+ m# M& U
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us
4 ?- G6 z& N% n) {% G& z, U; vto act like soap opera guys.
9 T, s6 z) |; F5 I: F- Z1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们. l: L# Q. }* ]) F
" M/ c' @! {3 t0 W1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
7 H5 T1 b% i( |, Q5 g* G1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们3 N# d! Z7 w% B! J1 R
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1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways# }7 O; p! n0 p8 _& v Y; L) \
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.+ w* t7 r: z7 A! C
1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。/ ?$ h9 `0 h$ L- y. n
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(谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢)
* i, S8 z0 g* i. D9 L1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it8 u" O @) \; T% Y: }
done. Not both.
: R1 |3 V/ g7 a( dIf you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.
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1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during+ l1 Y( ]+ h' `% F
commercials.1 j2 N! N' N* l( j6 W" \4 a4 a
8 T" a1 c9 M& |4 @: _1 S1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.2 d1 m; r2 m1 v S
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
' a% m7 a. d3 fPeach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
5 D. k& `; u: _& l; `; S' |We have no idea what mauve is.0 ^; D* m* j$ j
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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like* }. Z; k+ S" i# L( w. b
nothing's wrong.) r9 G( }) |& O7 j/ i9 G
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. T1 a4 c% q4 T8 i3 a4 r
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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer4 B9 i& W3 K( b' `& L3 g5 x
you don't want to hear.) ~1 E+ {* N4 ]' N4 k1 R# e' N
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1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is
/ g& ]5 X4 q7 L6 J, sfine...Really.0 j) J @2 _9 O/ F' p2 O$ k2 [
& B: W/ e1 D/ R7 g3 p! t1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
0 H7 A$ O5 x: x4 _5 pdiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
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9 D7 w) G+ H, L5 f7 R- |1. You have enough clothes.! F/ w) @+ N! w9 ]
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1. You have too many shoes.5 t# p/ r5 X" |$ H1 v% V' S
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1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!; W% G! N! A1 e* T2 _- v$ E
6 m- b5 s7 O6 d# x. l. ?1 Y1. Thank you for reading this.3 j8 [. q( V! C8 L2 E' ]2 T8 G
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Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
& H5 {5 H/ H+ K/ e) `' x& V& `! W6 bBut did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.( O1 K2 G7 V- q, k
& ]* o! N5 Y R# F4 Z3 NPass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.: Y8 [, b1 I O& o
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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