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呼应海尼尼:一个男人的心声

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鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!8 @* ]5 t2 N& K
请注意,以下序号都是1不是误写4 Q$ @1 b6 R* N: ], B! G1 h
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1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.8 u8 w* V, x# n# n
1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫' L& i) q  d! e9 v) o( g

. q. r" u5 z7 H$ P8 N' Y: ^% _1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
! \/ Q8 _! x" l; s; gdown., I0 y' z9 r4 d5 P/ d
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
$ l  C. w$ _$ P- P, V3 S' j* tyou# O5 b( J$ i0 w! I0 r4 p
leaving it down.
8 `7 \" H) V0 w- c+ v" h( a# o- x6 }1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?
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1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
  J. I9 y2 t) v- ?' ^7 rLet it be.4 R$ y/ u; D- \- L/ u6 T
1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去
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1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
! t+ q1 M$ g9 e2 D1 c  }+ _that way.
& `% |. j* r& E2 H) z1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!- k9 P, G* n+ b5 U9 |7 v2 {

. C+ E/ V  e7 x! Y" J) g1. Crying is blackmail.
( @+ Q7 X  N; u  c1,哭泣是敲诈
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4 V& V0 p# ^" c. c9 R6 c) |1. Ask for what you want.) `$ c% P( _3 R3 _: D
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
+ e  m9 N8 f- J8 O, P3 M* k- {, l. yStrong hints do not work!+ k! @5 b* m* c7 M6 I/ }& p
Obvious hints do not work!
. d. J% P) S8 zJust say it!
  m  h6 v2 j6 {1,你想要什么就说
- C0 e2 }- d, A3 n, }1 M我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!/ g2 v. _: S3 Y5 R# C: @

) g) {( y9 w0 {% A! E7 L1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every
( M" u- H' }9 |1 k" wquestion.% ^5 c' g. }8 J* d- D7 e
1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意)
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1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it.  That's7 |7 }) [7 q6 j1 p+ y0 Y; e1 X
what we do.4 m( q  _) Z8 Q, |& f
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1 J% ^0 I5 g' Y1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。
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0 V) ~' A" y* U3 |1 ~1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.  See a doctor., p0 n" H2 k3 b% |) A
1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去
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1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
% [3 y7 l' u7 YIn fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.5 y8 J" z, h5 }: f
我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了
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. \" L$ b( x) k- @6 G1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us( I3 ^" R9 n) g" K: |9 b1 D
to act like soap opera guys.. E- F  D2 t7 u: R8 J# F& k
1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们
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' {/ E& b7 h- J# U. r6 ?1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.& z8 \6 E! g7 y
1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们
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1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways& r# h0 j, R6 R9 X; u, `! A
makes you sad or angry, we meant  the other one.. o& p3 o: N$ h3 ?& H4 r* F
1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。3 b5 K2 A# ]+ E
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(谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢)- t, G! f, K$ n
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it
/ E# q/ c1 z  X2 H( hdone. Not both.
8 p$ f2 U/ @( i2 x4 r/ i' jIf you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.
* |9 {, |7 \9 j* n7 _  R& f% x% C' C9 Z7 _# }3 D7 T. u
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during! d# d# N9 o' t$ P/ G2 J& l
commercials.& R( v- d' E0 n9 x6 z
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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.6 Y! u& W/ k* P8 Z; c# b
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
2 d9 S  w, I/ r6 B. [- `* YPeach, for example, is a fruit, not   A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.$ M2 `0 c& Z0 C& z& o
We have no idea what mauve is.
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  C$ W! X3 P1 T# Z1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
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3 i. u7 I/ @* ?, }% X: M1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
+ ?9 Y2 u  g; s0 m$ D& w5 t$ t* P: hnothing's wrong.$ v) J4 H! a# j2 X# S$ @6 t' _( _. ?
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle./ _! Y" W7 x; S9 E9 k

: R8 s$ x8 q; q+ ?2 w) d- f1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer: x: D" Z, K! _. M% }$ g
you don't want to hear.# t2 T! \9 M0 [: ~4 E. Y+ ^

4 d4 ~) m0 L* }! R0 Y8 h" W' p; J1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is8 X7 l( Z  p: |: Y% r; l) G: Q
fine...Really.
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" e* `. B. n6 X+ y5 H1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to/ w6 _0 y5 P: |; a6 V# s3 f
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.% ]% q' Y1 y- P; L' V

- K( R& Z( K- U% R0 w% d1. You have enough clothes.  h7 p3 X' k+ d# z7 W$ Y1 Y5 C

* ^# l; S: K$ E8 m( w4 S& g1. You have too many shoes.
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/ Q. b4 B7 ^& @6 R' G1. I am in shape.  Round IS a shape!
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1. Thank you for reading this.
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# l0 @5 @+ F2 J9 @/ XYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
/ j! _8 v6 v, R+ qBut did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.; |8 k2 r2 V$ a  b1 y$ N! |
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Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
: o# x* Z# P7 w4 I9 b( gPass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 13:06 | 显示全部楼层
funny
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 15:10 | 显示全部楼层
试试哈。6 Z4 A' @( P7 J

. G: A  Y- J& _0 U6 ?5 F6 M  s1 [! f& f1.You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want itdone. Not both.If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.你或者让我们去做事情或者告诉我们你想怎么做,但是千万别同时要求我们。你如果知道怎么样做最好,那么自己个儿做吧。
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0 @; ~0 z  f! n5 x) i: ~1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say duringcommercials.不管什么时候,能不能把你必须要说的话留到广告时间说?( N9 d# y, `( u+ F, v$ V+ R
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- r5 a/ E6 Z) `4 c" R1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
% |+ E! c( o/ Z+ }" O我们和克里斯托福。哥伦布一样不需要指导!
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. c$ |8 \/ j/ B. G6 u5 d1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.Peach, for example, is a fruit, not   A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.We have no idea what mauve is.
2 R; C  X( M& @4 u/ }所有的男人只认识16种颜色,就像没有背景的窗户(这个很生硬,不知道什么意思)。桃子就是种水果而不是什么见鬼的桃色,同理南瓜也就是种水果。我们更不知道浅紫色是什么鬼东西。
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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.( V4 G9 {! C( Y
如果痒了就挠挠,我们就爱做实事。
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+ ?. @+ }1 S3 Q$ V! v) C& h1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act likenothing's wrong.We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
) `$ h/ D! B( U( p2 i( Q6 I如果我们问发生什么事了?你说没事,那就没事啊。我们知道你们在撒谎,可是那根本不值得讨论。
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0 k  i- \2 Z) h2 [0 c3 u& ?" U, h; c1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answeryou don't want to hear.
% g2 I8 s) e! F/ N1 J/ t# i如果你一定要问一个你不想知道答案的问题,那么就别指望能听到你想要听的答案。
鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
 楼主| 发表于 2005-11-11 15:26 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
Originally posted by 海妮妮 at 2005-11-11 04:10 PM:& i5 N  \$ _/ h2 |
ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.Peach, for example, is a fruit, not   A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.We have no idea what mauve is.
4 Z. l/ Z+ |! U6 Q) `: N7 l所有的男人只认识16种颜色,就像没有背景的窗户(这个很生硬,不知道什么意思)。桃子就是种水果而不是什么见鬼的桃色,同理南瓜也就是种水果。我们更不知道浅紫色是什么鬼东西。0 J3 I' x' h2 P1 [& j7 H+ Y9 i

. E0 Q% \4 Q& V5 a这里的windows是指微软的窗口平台,default setting就是大家什么不设的普通颜色设置6 V( ^8 b! B7 T2 e+ Z0 R& _

2 ?- _7 H* i- S, a+ @! i还是海尼尼心眼好,办实事!
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 15:26 | 显示全部楼层
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Isfine...Really.# i, `0 k8 Z7 Y
如果我们要去哪里,你无论穿什么都绝对很好。。。真的不骗你
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3 F$ E/ V; q/ `& |, u' O7 Z* G1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared todiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
; R6 p; O# @3 E$ K. m. {不要问我们在关心什么,除非你已经可以讨论诸如棒球、橄榄球或高尔夫等话题。
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1. You have enough clothes.; ]) A; m0 u# m. R/ f+ M" I
你的衣服足够多了
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1 |6 V$ F5 K% k  d: H1. You have too many shoes.2 r' u7 F8 t$ A3 F% R, J% X
你的鞋子也太多了吧# }4 t) f0 q; V3 `. F" z2 h# \

- f! C) G* ?( g2 I; p4 E  o2 D1. I am in shape.  Round IS a shape!% m, V' U# i8 E
我很有型啊,你能说球型不是一种型吗?0 L/ e' v; r2 e$ s$ m6 J/ T

3 G2 {/ n) w& z1. Thank you for reading this.
& `8 @, w$ |/ H, _  h- a多谢你能看完这个
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$ h# D* q/ O% K1 M' `' AYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
) V6 G) R) ?7 N: `  k我知道今晚我得睡沙发了,但你知道吗,男人们一点儿都不会介意这个的,不就是野营嘛。
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 15:28 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 三思 at 2005-11-11 04:26 PM:
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这里的windows是指微软的窗口平台,default setting就是大家什么不设的普通颜色设置1 j7 v( g4 R- z0 R: w  a1 p) r
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还是海尼尼心眼好,办实事!
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2 M+ Q2 O  v, L# l# N2 k$ A% s. F应该说还是海妮妮心眼实,办好事。嘿嘿$ @! I" d& {+ D1 y
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玩玩,献丑了哈
鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
 楼主| 发表于 2005-11-11 15:35 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
最后一句真绝阿
鲜花(1394) 鸡蛋(16)
发表于 2005-11-11 16:47 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 海妮妮 at 2005-11-11 03:26 PM:
8 \- m" E) S  f# C6 |1. You have enough clothes.
5 ]# X( H7 [% d你的衣服足够多了
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1. You have too many shoes.
2 X3 t* O" y" I# q% |你的鞋子也太多了吧
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这两句话我经常对LD说,但是她说NO。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 17:26 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
 楼主| 发表于 2005-11-11 17:38 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say duringcommercials.不管什么时候,能不能把你必须要说的话留到广告时间说?
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----这句话我劳工常说,我就。。。。忍了。尤其看《幸存者〉的时候,电话都不接。但是观看期间他可以跟我说话,不许我说
鲜花(10) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 20:39 | 显示全部楼层
1. Ask for what you want.
" C1 J5 \& r& SLet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
' p5 H4 ?6 F% f( Y+ o+ B7 f9 E1 C* uStrong hints do not work!* O; D$ S' {2 i( `
Obvious hints do not work!6 J4 E3 p! M% n! d: w3 j1 z2 @4 b
Just say it!
- E) v% C7 `; m# v/ [. k9 I1,你想要什么就说* [  Q( z  O$ O1 h. }
我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!' E, z% m) h( T0 `# d! _" \' A

2 E. i4 I* F: q) w关于这一条,我老公只认准了一条hint,只要我在晚上洗了澡,头发湿淋淋的下楼和他说话,他就坚决认为我是在暗示他炒饭了!
大型搬家
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 21:29 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 蓝海 at 2005-11-11 09:39 PM:6 C7 V6 _4 l+ k3 q, X' \& w# x  ^
1. Ask for what you want.
0 M% |: J2 J, o6 K  m- f" yLet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!3 [- u! Z1 \" Y
Strong hints do not work!2 _' w8 ^' s, |
Obvious hints do not work!
9 A0 E6 E/ d7 j9 P% z7 U9 o  OJust say it!
, L5 p  s7 p5 P) A0 {+ P1,你想要什么就说9 W& q7 Z1 l1 p
我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管 ...

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) |" f( J4 Y2 i6 F' g1 }1 d( k瓦赛
鲜花(86) 鸡蛋(3)
发表于 2005-11-14 00:49 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
被呼应的那部分在哪?还没看过瘾哪!要不,哪位给个连接????
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-14 09:33 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Originally posted by 今天闲着 at 2005-11-14 01:49 AM:
6 b) G! M7 e6 W被呼应的那部分在哪?还没看过瘾哪!要不,哪位给个连接????

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咳,就是偶转贴的那个“老婆的心得”,在这儿
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http://web.edmontonchina.cn/viewthread.php?tid=33628&fpage=1
鲜花(86) 鸡蛋(3)
发表于 2005-11-14 15:59 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 海妮妮 at 2005-11-14 09:33:
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' r% |6 K* Y2 m- o8 a咳,就是偶转贴的那个“老婆的心得”,在这儿
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http://web.edmontonchina.cn/viewthread.php?tid=33628&fpage=1

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这个早看了,想起11来现在还笑得受不了了!以后有机会一定要试一下。! H0 q* }& X8 y$ w

; P! r8 ?3 _6 R还想问问你的体会呢!
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-14 16:21 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 今天闲着 at 2005-11-14 04:59 PM:$ v4 s2 i9 o/ [1 ~
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" M- |: y4 a! O; Z* ]& T- h1 I这个早看了,想起11来现在还笑得受不了了!以后有机会一定要试一下。
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还想问问你的体会呢!

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体会?
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