 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!0 h) y% [3 j: B/ t
请注意，以下序号都是1不是误写
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6 M. A' R6 j% H. z1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.! Z" G, i) [3 S( x$ }
1，男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫* L$ o! K# e$ @. d' n
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it4 }" ]. u+ u1 E7 A' f: U' x
down.
9 k1 B- Y( t% `" v+ D4 sWe need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
7 g0 n2 K V0 f$ g0 Y# U+ Qyou4 ]# ]- G, Q4 ~( ^
leaving it down.1 m1 R2 U6 H, Z/ t8 R$ N4 d
1，学会使用马桶盖，你是个大姑娘了，马桶盖要是翻起来了，你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来，你们需要放下去，你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去？. I( G/ H+ Z7 Z5 U+ X
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1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.! S4 q6 l. N, C
Let it be.
8 R# W: |% Z5 l$ c) ^( c* v5 y' f1，周日的体育，无论它像满月还是潮汐，随他去/ G7 ~# R* p( W
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1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
1 A5 [# N3 |0 j2 P$ m, u* Ythat way.
' J6 z. e( S) O% K$ Z x1，购物不是体育。不，也别指望我们能那么想！
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& P3 ^. e6 i% C7 I/ @0 M" P- n1. Crying is blackmail.. n7 s; u0 y4 ]* v- |2 W1 Y# i
1，哭泣是敲诈
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9 O- P: G- O6 P# Q( J z$ N1. Ask for what you want." O9 m. ?% Z% u) P
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
# `0 L* Q5 T" g' k9 Z7 `Strong hints do not work!6 h- E( o5 t( p6 h7 l) E( g1 a3 W
Obvious hints do not work!! a% i$ l( W a
Just say it!" O p! U% g2 @6 r, ?% o
1，你想要什么就说) k7 S) f$ s# T3 r$ U$ o5 H
我们再说得清楚点，小暗示不管用，强烈按时不管用，明显的暗示也不管用！想干吗你明说！
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& Y* |8 @2 U( Y9 f; O4 C4 o1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every % S. \- x& |( c4 r! |- d4 M
question.
8 ^; z# \( S! f7 L& B7 n- E P7 C1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 （意思是，丈夫仅仅说是，不是，妻子不满意）) O0 l) j3 n! _) v4 o( v+ L
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1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's% j+ W M, @# Q; k ?
what we do.
: a" Y9 y5 W' b( V# a3 G% k8 ISympathy is what your girlfriends are for.7 D I- @! s/ U" W, T
1，如果你有麻烦，可以来找我们帮助解决，可是不要仅仅为了获取同情，那是你们女朋友的责任。
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$ |5 j9 }' h y) D1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1 |4 K. e% f5 R* F" d: Y1，你要是头疼了17个月，那你应该看医生去 J% f" F* d7 ~8 Q
) P# m! v5 J3 p) C1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
, ~6 {; c+ |- JIn fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.% \0 U5 j2 ?* d. l/ a1 p
我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及，事实上，我们说的话7天后就作废了
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us
! n; y) e f& u* ~5 P: nto act like soap opera guys.* z. Y; e0 A ]( @' c! Z% @0 B
1，如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密（性感品牌）的女孩子们，那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们: M3 m, R3 X K
' J, q; N+ g) Y0 T: C! v1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.1 x6 S* F3 j4 F" E
1，你要是觉得你胖，那你八成就胖，别问我们; f' x+ [, p# m: u& `% `& H
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1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways0 z4 j5 b8 {5 d* h7 j7 n
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
% R7 t& }( Q% l6 K1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思，而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒，那么我们本来是另一种意思。
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（谁有工夫继续一下，谢谢） Y' p5 }" K9 }, Y/ e( Q7 o+ t
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it
! ]& n% a0 Z% B& ?; }6 V: y- Pdone. Not both. U& u3 P& A- H* k& Z6 Q
If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.
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; w! e; o# |' Z7 _ `0 D( o1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during# w( V3 V! a, p1 u4 p# w9 Y( F
commercials., t3 Y& z: \% e ~9 [
- O- e# ^8 _; O- c1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.* l2 I1 @; F9 W# v8 ?
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
" D! F: ^6 }7 O5 kPeach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.3 m, B7 U9 N% z% t% f( i
We have no idea what mauve is.
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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
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5 t3 q& l a+ @1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
- d; Q1 \/ p. T- Wnothing's wrong.
7 l) g# l4 V4 kWe know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.! e; ]# H8 A; y* d5 b) R
. o, Y, l/ {$ f. y1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer6 W& M5 U9 n3 u: i: C" K+ `
you don't want to hear.
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1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is
* B" d8 T( v; _fine...Really.
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% J3 m# T; x4 B& W# o1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
% s/ M( i; r ~0 ?discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
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1. You have enough clothes.
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1. You have too many shoes.8 [' U' s2 |3 s: K4 o
7 G7 z! u P# V9 n4 I' M! W1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
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1. Thank you for reading this.
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Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;' A" ]# [; c( i2 m5 \5 e
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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( f c4 X4 O! F9 Q) M& i4 E% xPass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
4 @9 T1 |- |# yPass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05
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发表于 2005-11-11 13:06
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发表于 2005-11-11 16:47
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