 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
9 Y$ _9 J* D. o1 C- K4 J5 h请注意,以下序号都是1不是误写
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1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
% ~' h" q2 ^% b A1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫
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) O" @ X" P5 S# ^1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it& l9 i7 ~8 z% |$ M; ^" n; y
down.
+ i1 K, ~" H0 k8 [3 |0 |We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about # z; _3 h: K( ^4 c" Y! |2 R5 K
you! C5 W% ]: a3 T: u7 ?9 X0 b
leaving it down. T6 Z* Z6 ^8 K& ^8 O9 Z
1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?! R1 n0 k2 h; k- t; A3 \
$ U! A4 p! x' ^- C6 \0 W3 U1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.) p; p1 L8 f0 c
Let it be.0 N- B% O4 w1 [$ k/ I* D
1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去8 o5 H" h0 \' r7 {7 p$ G9 ~
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1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it# j2 K/ \2 Y- |6 u7 N. a, `6 S
that way.1 u* { E7 S+ n# p5 k4 w8 S& I
1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!
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1. Crying is blackmail.
) @0 H* s0 f: b' D/ O) J( }1,哭泣是敲诈% }6 a, u$ Y& T( g; i$ r+ }
) h+ n) \7 T: |% @1 `) E1. Ask for what you want.! O1 G' B4 [5 V
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!. Y# \) n0 v* p: m& C% d$ F
Strong hints do not work!
, s1 R6 P0 ~1 B: _ B8 z6 ]Obvious hints do not work!+ h+ z( V/ T7 I+ y2 i
Just say it!
' x7 m P8 ]6 U7 C5 _+ M( S2 a1,你想要什么就说
* `# w5 O6 V- w3 d! S$ z* R我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!. _5 w* y% D# T
$ H! Q4 |& s0 ]. f6 y0 Z1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every
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8 t0 D8 H0 m$ ?1 i3 z1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意)
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1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's
3 O- p1 h% e+ f/ t) s1 o9 |3 cwhat we do.
& y' i# n: u1 `' k0 BSympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
( p3 S L7 D5 U3 a4 n0 q' P" k+ `2 B1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。( u# T" D |( E' i I* U
# k* ?+ G$ `6 p3 W [1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
+ V7 x+ {& D5 s' S: K# |0 G+ G7 W1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去9 v1 Z6 m/ @/ U0 V; ?2 R
& X7 ?( Y+ L' y8 r+ Q1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.- q: g9 z2 [7 b5 N1 G6 V9 U
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
# e, O8 T0 @5 I& C+ _8 r我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了
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/ `( W8 Z5 T! |3 c1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us
/ H9 o8 h# ^4 H% k7 s" T0 X2 Y Lto act like soap opera guys.
9 }: j* [) r: l2 V( q0 z) Y3 L1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们, p* C+ @5 B8 N. \
# p8 ^3 ~6 e! ]2 ]' Y1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
" O2 T1 i- g- _- P& @& H. Z1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们
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1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways8 S! K( c# j' |8 y
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one./ S: n6 U; Z. \9 W o
1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。' s. o8 Z0 m2 H' r
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(谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢): s' u" x( l- A( ?
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it- y% S# Z( _+ o. h* ^- p! T6 m
done. Not both.2 C5 P4 e0 _( a' t! X3 m
If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.
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1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.0 m4 V- t# o+ l3 i2 _
: `* G5 w5 S% n" x- Q$ t0 h1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
8 ?; u' D4 }6 lPeach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.% z |9 |7 _* s u; W- d
We have no idea what mauve is.
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w8 H2 r S! J6 }3 m* w+ c1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
; |& I$ j% d" c7 }nothing's wrong.. \4 x% Q. C8 o* a
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer& w, x; k8 [6 D+ n$ X: T( ?! H9 J* w
you don't want to hear.! z5 V5 r7 }$ |% P
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1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is# I5 E J8 Y) O0 J& w) w, F4 X0 d7 d6 D
fine...Really.
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2 K# z9 o5 k% w3 M$ c& b d1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
5 y3 B9 j- c. n# `8 C9 {2 tdiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
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1. You have enough clothes.* o) a5 T: N4 K0 Z# l4 Q2 w6 v
9 d. H* N2 u2 X0 a1. You have too many shoes./ G' Z5 c# ^5 }
# l- v% k' m% m3 @* y( j1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
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9 z9 ^9 G" O# |( U7 G& |1. Thank you for reading this." @+ |( K' l, u$ f- F
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Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;& q }1 P K% B a& g2 D0 t: M/ C/ _
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.; e4 N, F% J+ q$ s8 W
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Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.5 W5 f5 S, ~0 [. [
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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