 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
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1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.! z: n6 e, S% z8 N
1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it( e5 Z! J9 _7 I
down.3 m' }7 s9 K, f
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about 1 ?( d; t8 N" t1 ]
you# X, N _. K* B5 a8 y2 U# H* C
leaving it down.+ E6 R) O1 z/ K* S2 O4 ~
1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?
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% q* ?* M9 {4 L9 S D: @% t, F1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
# J' \5 c" O' ALet it be.' ?" {4 R; B7 \0 M/ H) E! K/ Q
1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去
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1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
1 |% g q+ h# b2 A! Tthat way.; ` F6 U9 E2 Y* X
1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!
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1. Crying is blackmail.. D9 T: G* Q& i5 N/ ^
1,哭泣是敲诈9 F8 W% C/ Y% F% o P V4 P# B! _
u( [9 q6 d ^5 t& o1. Ask for what you want.5 E. y8 Q7 f! r3 X9 u
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
- v& u8 p+ n. |7 DStrong hints do not work!5 Q8 P) W9 C$ s/ A1 _" U
Obvious hints do not work!* s7 R% e+ N" `1 q M
Just say it!
2 U- S5 D/ h! L) G' L: ~4 R/ G9 _1,你想要什么就说5 a; s: h2 B2 P
我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!
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8 s$ R3 x) U# [; W. c1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every ( U4 {1 C3 Z8 p; H
question.2 i" C p/ L) q9 K- [# ]7 R9 o
1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意)& w* w f- |2 }3 c
/ i& E) V8 ~9 e* S# H9 {1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's; h8 ~8 S8 d5 O6 G6 P/ I1 j
what we do.! a0 R3 F1 v8 N) m3 K
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.) Y4 e" O- O0 _/ z9 h+ h
1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。
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/ k/ Y0 a$ ]. i) b1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. R& |' D# v) b# p" ]: x% H
1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去7 J, H+ Q: g$ x1 V& N
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1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.* A4 s1 j9 x$ c% }5 A, q7 m
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.2 H* o3 y4 C; y
我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us; a x0 j) C8 _# j" E
to act like soap opera guys.
! U7 y+ h- B P. r# c' Y1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们
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1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
7 v/ R' V* A, x3 ]1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们
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: \& |7 I+ C( e1 Q1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways! H' R6 ?7 L$ f; r# I# l7 Z+ Q
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.& Q% o/ H: A6 u
1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。
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2 h" K7 X9 r2 g" U L(谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢)9 X! D0 L* |1 n8 O+ @
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it4 G, s) X! a8 g+ y, g) T' l
done. Not both.
2 Q' W. R- O" x/ q: p5 D* lIf you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.
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7 y, `9 k2 r5 r, C7 l1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during, `: f L1 v0 w, Y3 ^4 K
commercials.
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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.4 P x( M& ]2 }$ j5 d; p- B9 l
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
! a j v( N5 E, J! J( \+ P$ a; k. oWe have no idea what mauve is.
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5 ^9 {4 D. s" J1 D- d' l& c- f1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like, q$ c; |& q3 I; j d* j9 u8 g
nothing's wrong.! G0 b: _* d7 \: k" q; Z6 Q- _
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
K4 K/ n6 z7 @: C# k Yyou don't want to hear.6 \# i! h! r* m; Q1 B* \4 ?
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1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is
- G5 Z) P/ d; Ufine...Really.% `' H4 l, ]! C* i0 Z
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1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
/ ^7 ^2 [' Q: n. \& Fdiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
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1. You have enough clothes." S6 L' A3 W8 i5 g& P" s B
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1. You have too many shoes.
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7 W& O9 h( ~0 [& P( u6 p1 [4 x1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
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1. Thank you for reading this.$ x' X7 W$ F# Q
1 A0 j, D* R0 zYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;- A; ^, y3 @ c0 b" d: R- F& i+ B
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
8 c$ W3 r6 d0 b- O cPass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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