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Shejing's random sick joke #2

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鲜花(499) 鸡蛋(10)
发表于 2010-11-19 12:52 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A businessman was getting ready to go on a long business trip. He knew3 g6 v7 e% Y3 W) o0 O* p
his wife would have a hard time being faithful while he was gone so he& U! S: @/ g3 G5 y: o* x
decided to go to a sex shop to find something to entertain her.  As he) P- ~: J" S- Q7 W5 r# F, K/ ~+ E
browsed through all the different toys the old man behind the counter asked3 A, p1 P: E. z! c. z4 y
if he needed help.  He explained his situation and the old man said, "Well,
2 U( H, n% V+ A) d/ u6 OI don't really know of anything that will keep her occupied for weeks,
* _$ I$ V* `3 G% i% |  oexcept... ahhh... never mind."% t3 h& j1 a; T7 x  W" F( N
) q' M  J/ c. I
    "Except what?" the man asked.
- ~/ W% f; G  v. }    "Nothing, nothing."5 q- Z8 o; ~( O1 {2 v; \/ `& D
    "C'mon, tell me!"- D6 N6 H- Y4 H* S- s3 a  e
    "Well, there is VooDoo Dick."
/ z3 V) c# l( I: ]* h    "What's VooDoo Dick?" the man replied.
, f. }# D' H, U$ q    "It can't be described" said the old man, "it can only be witnessed."5 B8 W) y# X* ^" q% q; k1 ^
So the old man reached under the counter, and pulled out an old wooden box, - v* e  @" O+ e  i& U& ~
carved with strange symbols. He opened it, and there lay a very
" Q: H. @5 P& Mordinary-looking black dildo.
1 ~: [; }" L) p$ F( I    The businessman laughed, and said, "That's it?"
% Q5 w& y+ Y4 s* _' W; [" Y6 V8 u$ [% [+ W$ d8 r# {' J
    The old man replied, "But you haven't seen what it'll do yet."  The old# T0 S. U  Q& x  I# Y3 x7 x
man pointed to a door across the room and said, "VooDoo Dick, the door."
3 `2 b4 E$ s, w6 O; ] VooDoo Dick rose out of its box, darted over to the door, and started
1 s! P8 V5 K& o( t. f/ ^screwing the keyhole.  The whole door shook with the vibrations, and a crack , N4 h& f( w$ w
developed down the middle.  Before the door could break, the old man said,
- h  U3 V) \  u7 ]$ |3 i"VooDoo Dick, get back in your box!"   VooDoo dick stopped, floated back to" \& `$ a8 j7 r
the box and lay there, quiet once again.
6 t$ c6 _* u' q- r1 t
$ ]0 y8 q* T  ?5 p4 w/ e# E  v6 d* l    "I'll take it!" said the businessman.  The old man resisted, saying it
7 ]6 G6 q( @6 W+ t' \wasn't for sale, but he finally surrendered to $1000 in cash.  The guy took5 X& ^% r! O1 u4 S3 E% U$ X
it home to his wife, told her it was a special dildo and that to use it, all
6 `# v7 ~* C8 o3 i. Qshe had to do was say "VooDoo Dick, my pussy."  He left for his trip
) s# O1 E/ Z! P2 @satisfied that things would be fine while he was gone.
: y8 ?4 r# }  ?. {" @  k# ], b$ H* U& u+ i
    After he'd been gone for a week, the wife was unbearably horny. She' S0 G5 _8 [* h) g# |. ?0 ^
thought of several people who would willingly satisfy her, but then she4 s( m1 }, u3 s2 W' g! N  m6 M
remembered VooDoo Dick.  She got it out laid down on the bed and said,
/ m+ c) ]/ k! z0 f/ k! M"VooDoo Dick, my pussy!"    The VooDoo Dick shot to her crotch.  It was2 U9 a! B+ M) X1 `
great, like nothing she'd ever experienced before.  After three orgasms, she
5 y- ?* F" L$ j) qdecided she'd had enough, and tried to stop it, but she couldn't, her/ D: K+ j$ }  C# t
husband had forgot to tell her how to stop it!
2 N  U3 U1 Y( B" A
0 B% ]- |4 _& {$ l: k* L    She decided to go to the hospital to see if they could help.  She tried
6 _" o; G( R8 }1 ]8 s5 @' ~: C# D1 [to get dressed as best as she could with a skirt and a top, but VooDoo Dick9 t+ j# j* ?" a- q2 }
just wouldn't stop and she had yet another orgasm, weakening her knees.  h- w" @2 L) Z3 X! l) F( B! E

' p+ |! V; I8 K    Finally she got her clothes on, made it to the car and started to drive
# t8 F! {: ^& r/ M6 }- m* kto the hospital.  On the way, another orgasm made her swerve into oncoming" x2 r5 ^2 w) \. A: s5 g
traffic, then back to her side of the road, narrowly missing a car.  Next
3 i& q7 E! X0 G# ?6 Ething she knew there was a police car behind her with it's blue lights! a; j9 V0 I$ @& d: d" V, \
flashing. The police officer asked for her license, and wanted to know how
  A% |6 w0 N. `4 f; v) j1 lmuch she'd had to drink.    Gasping and twitching, she explained that she! u: X% b: {1 F5 _
hadn't been drinking and tried to explain the problem of VooDoo Dick.4 B# \) C* y! J* C- M: s

% W0 i, _+ B" l2 M' W: I/ h    The officer looked at her for a second, and then said, "Yeah, right
2 B4 @1 |7 }3 @* s3 [5 W  f7 Xlady, VooDoo Dick, my ass!"
鲜花(151) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-19 13:20 | 显示全部楼层
pfft pfft
鲜花(75) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-19 15:36 | 显示全部楼层
I like how Shejing tells jokes from personal experiences
鲜花(12) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-20 16:52 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
笑了~顶~
鲜花(4) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-20 17:15 | 显示全部楼层
lol...
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-20 23:08 | 显示全部楼层
无语,楼主从哪里听来的这么多成人笑话?
鲜花(128) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2011-5-23 18:39 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
ding...
鲜花(1348) 鸡蛋(5)
发表于 2011-5-24 11:01 | 显示全部楼层
笑了
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2011-6-3 20:43 | 显示全部楼层
顶吧,憋不住也笑了
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2011-10-23 14:32 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
千斤顶
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