学英语了 - what happened and what is funny?

JoyceAccSG

On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter.

In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed.


$ {$ v! f6 g! |+ J& O( N
This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 40 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed.
7 s" c) a- w) c- m( ?. e4 o
% _! T/ Y" C- p8 Z1 Y+ w5 B
/ A* c3 C- J/ l0 a/ E+ o7 I' m8 }
Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state.

During the next few minutes, he explained that his employer was going through a process of corporate downsizing, and he had been let go.


# R& D% O' Y& p- t& R% ^7 v
It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find another position that paid anywhere near what he'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined.

# ?0 o' ~8 y+ Q, {" s
, ~/ n/ S- P0 @4 n9 j; s
8 x; O- d, i- U2 @" ^( c0 X/ W& RCalmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed more than forty years of steady deposits and interest totaling nearly $1 million. Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the bank which were worth over $2 million, And informed him that they were one of the largest depositors in the bank.
) `! n! S# `. ~; {. M


, i2 d1 x5 j" v: v5 ?  a3 GShe explained that for more than three decades she had 'charged' him for sex, these holdings had multiplied and these were the results of her savings and investments.
9 D: d9 Z* T% o. f8 C/ l: ]
+ q" j/ {4 j: s% w& [! M$ n; v! I
( p+ M- j+ y& U8 W/ [3 Y
9 g& f" S' `  U  t, dFaced with evidence of cash and investments worth over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out, 'If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have given you all my business!'



' j7 t5 j7 Y5 U7 k+ r# `4 nThat's when she shot him.
: t8 y) C; R, L
7 i9 A1 U7 F: m, v7 {
- t" K. P0 ], K0 l! E8 B* [6 h
You know, sometimes, men just don't know when to keep their mouths shut
  m8 E& x  K+ M! D( n


Women are like phones: They like to be held, talked to, and touched often. But push the wrong button and your ass is disconnected!
6 b! ]8 q0 X' V
1 G$ y* M! L( e+ [

JoyceAccSG

没有人理我？

lhj

JoyceAccSG 发表于 2012-5-8 17:52
没有人理我？

不可能，正在看呢~
9 G) O) V( }! C4 M* q昨天看了“the vow”誓约

amybear

晕死，这个帖子我昨天怎没看到
( C; F  C5 b$ o2 y0 s这两天都在挖地，不好意思，晚上空了，仔细读