In the garden of my heart

Dawson

听《All I want to do...》有感，涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑，见笑！
+ K% c8 Q. o/ P5 ~
In the garden of my heart
' ?$ d) V0 P- {You planted a tree
, p/ ]* C" f2 \8 D: }: QFrom sunset til dawn
# P! h- x7 v! P' d- ZThrough darkness to light
- m- F2 K" C0 I3 F5 ZNourished with my soul
" F1 Z$ s0 P9 A# yDevoured my sorrow by thee

In the memory of my life
You planted a dream
Should the sky fall down on me
: ?: h" x# C7 a; ?- E( k% WMay promises fade in the sea
! G$ c4 @- C' c! ^  V* s  O$ Q8 MSewing back every broken pieces
9 N1 c. E; W; @  F6 r+ M1 pBursting the love out of me
/ M4 \; M; C. s. R: f
/ \# `4 h1 X" p5 B# j2 N[mu]http://penguin.spss.sd59.bc.ca/~mqiu/images/without.mp3[/mu]

云山水月

原帖由 Dawson 于 2006-6-25 01:05 发表
4 L1 O' n2 \; H1 ~6 p) z( c听《All I want to do...》有感，涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑，见笑！
6 x% p( N7 ^' l3 j& v* S
In the garden of my heart
0 }% ]7 m1 b- ]You planted a tree
( X! g- m. e# Z7 k, u8 ?. bFrom sunset til dawn
$ w$ b- n  V' c4 l7 k" A* kThrough darkness to light
Nourished with my soul
# [% c2 d; Z/ K4 h' H! R0 Q/ sDevoured my so ...

- N. v7 V9 F6 p) [
眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧？

写得真好。

9 e0 e' q' k  z0 U* H/ m加精加精！

Greatwall

哥们儿，你没喝多吧？没事就过来烧烟啊！

九月

汗！居然有２单词不认识。：（

Justing

原帖由 云山水月 于 2006-6-25 01:08 发表
* D  R, z; P& {9 `5 z眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧？
写得真好。
' e4 M% [. m* U$ u: c加精加精！

" }+ j2 W: s6 Z3 ?9 B& O我曾在本版也发过一首英文诗

五月

如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下，在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。

微澜

原帖由 五月 于 2006-6-25 05:31 发表
) A, L  ^/ {/ R3 n  Y7 Q如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下，在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。

五月JJ这个意境，想想实在是罗曼蒂克，不过在爱屯，海天相接是没有了，只有在湖畔雪山了：）

朱顺顺

Should the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.
7 @' T( P* ~; D' P. V
Sewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.

Dawson

原帖由 红岫添乱 于 2006-6-29 11:06 发表
* ^# o4 ]' y, i$ K  A  H3 ]; ]+ DShould the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.

Sewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.

Thanks for your insightful comment, however I have to disagree with what you said.
# S' z9 |* ^% ~2 C' h6 X. A
1) Sky falls down on sb. is a very common phrase or idom that's been used in a lot of occasions, meaning end of the world. For example, it was used in Savage Garden's song "truly deeply madly".

  Y9 f3 E2 p2 i% O2) Every broken pieces, hmmm, again broken pieces is a phrase, I know grammar wise it looks awkard, but that "S" at the end puts a nice rythem to the poem.

月光宝盒

红岫添乱 这喜滋滋的头像虽很农民，但很喜气！很有乐在其中的意境啊！

FCUK

thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。
/ B0 D& P1 _, q
8 b7 W/ U: X. F0 JShall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

五月

原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
, x& p! u- n7 x0 X2 Y. @thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。

Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

' X" D! B4 L) H5 m+ H" e8 E
诗歌, 重在意境和语感, 没有那么严格教条的语法要求吧.

Dawson

原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
6 z$ U- `, J; f. e9 gthee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。
: i8 `. Y5 |/ R) O" X
Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

0 G) V. C" z! x) _  g. r, y0 [有啊，有很多经典的例子。

比如Sharon A. Bryington那首著名的《While Waiting For Thee》

Don't weep at my grave
# g. q# V! w9 W: _For I am not there,
I've a date with a butterfly
To dance on the air.
If I'm missed, find a flower,
I'll be there too,
Sniffing it's fragrance
1 h$ n& G. Q5 ^) I* uRight next to you.
2 _, S* X+ V: F! _, ^' {
Don't be sad
. n3 p# D7 G) x6 K! H1 XWhen you remember me,
; S6 \4 B  D$ Y  [; B; j& B+ vFor I'm singing in the sunshine,
Wild and free,
' W' A* V( e- b  j: r$ C3 w' w$ k9 cFlirting with the lighting,
; Z/ y! w  e: y& A! VPlaying tag with the wind,
5 y+ Z; _- y( g9 G. }Chasing the thunder
6 R# M$ `& i% h0 E( [- k1 BTime and again,
Soaring with the eagle,
Swimming in the sea,
Enjoying all of nature
While I'm waiting for thee.