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In the garden of my heart

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发表于 2006-6-25 01:05 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
听《All I want to do...》有感,涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑,见笑!) R8 Z  l' g. z5 D

9 J9 f: }" \5 Y5 l) K' v1 AIn the garden of my heart5 t; Y# m, D# o) q* l# K& U$ @
You planted a tree. t; B" i$ A2 l9 K& G
From sunset til dawn
* y! t9 A7 ~. [6 g3 LThrough darkness to light
/ l. G. ?  u5 {) |% sNourished with my soul. P* c( ?* [) A
Devoured my sorrow by thee
0 K5 u3 H  y! |! P  v# u8 G0 ?
8 j' R; l" c: Z! `$ d: h, QIn the memory of my life3 S0 ?5 e! R4 m4 U) S% D. B
You planted a dream
3 V  e) |3 ?) o* e* g' sShould the sky fall down on me
' x( {( t4 k  R0 u- {) @$ HMay promises fade in the sea/ W4 j- w2 d7 I& Z
Sewing back every broken pieces* T5 o" E# Z& ?
Bursting the love out of me- H" z: U% k( f7 |$ @" r8 \* R+ |6 Z- M

) g. y0 S( g0 p) b[mu]http://penguin.spss.sd59.bc.ca/~mqiu/images/without.mp3[/mu]
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发表于 2006-6-25 01:08 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 Dawson 于 2006-6-25 01:05 发表2 |& G9 i) s& _6 R1 X4 \
听《All I want to do...》有感,涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑,见笑!8 m$ x2 u1 u  l* r4 J3 i" F  F3 a/ H+ \

9 t" n* h! Q/ CIn the garden of my heart
. a+ E3 b* x; P5 @+ lYou planted a tree2 z) n, U% n* B0 \5 f) Z( u- y+ E
From sunset til dawn
3 }3 ~1 s! ]5 u( ~Through darkness to light
) v( M+ R* A% Y: p4 {: BNourished with my soul8 s) N8 c& i4 b2 f% }* `/ v
Devoured my so ...
" N% g; C8 N+ b9 c' n2 ^2 F$ d2 N4 d

6 X& @9 w; o- Q! T眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧?
3 \& M- M$ _0 E7 v
" T7 t5 b) q- q" I. y; h写得真好。$ |$ ?: [( M: P; g9 N5 }5 H

, A0 F' T1 ?+ D, l3 Y0 Z加精加精!
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发表于 2006-6-25 01:20 | 显示全部楼层
哥们儿,你没喝多吧?没事就过来烧烟啊!
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发表于 2006-6-25 01:26 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
汗!居然有2单词不认识。:(
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发表于 2006-6-25 03:41 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 云山水月 于 2006-6-25 01:08 发表
) q  c0 M: H9 s4 @5 T4 O9 C眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧?
2 |$ @. x" j* t# k' V5 o0 ]写得真好。
9 ~, W2 E+ z2 j% Z) I2 u加精加精!
7 c2 K/ y2 R) w* c( h/ W7 [
我曾在本版也发过一首英文诗
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发表于 2006-6-25 05:31 | 显示全部楼层
如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下,在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。
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发表于 2006-6-29 09:57 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 五月 于 2006-6-25 05:31 发表) P6 R( {" `: c4 m9 r
如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下,在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。
; M' p2 `# C- ]3 L
五月JJ这个意境,想想实在是罗曼蒂克,不过在爱屯,海天相接是没有了,只有在湖畔雪山了:)
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发表于 2006-6-29 11:06 | 显示全部楼层
Should the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here." p/ i, Q' Z- B  U! T
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Sewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.
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 楼主| 发表于 2006-6-29 18:23 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 红岫添乱 于 2006-6-29 11:06 发表2 M  Y* K* V( Q* w5 M
Should the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.  s& H" j$ v# N

/ a& w5 j: h. p; x4 S3 ESewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.

& ~7 d, D6 o/ z$ o- }& K% N+ Y, T' P' l; k
Thanks for your insightful comment, however I have to disagree with what you said.2 N0 O# R2 b$ B' |5 k& `' x

+ T" S8 a$ {( T5 Q- P3 E# ~1) Sky falls down on sb. is a very common phrase or idom that's been used in a lot of occasions, meaning end of the world. For example, it was used in Savage Garden's song "truly deeply madly".' M0 j! L% N  U1 M5 w, I
' ]6 v; ^/ k4 k5 R9 s% O! q
2) Every broken pieces, hmmm, again broken pieces is a phrase, I know grammar wise it looks awkard, but that "S" at the end puts a nice rythem to the poem.
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发表于 2006-6-30 01:17 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
红岫添乱 这喜滋滋的头像虽很农民,但很喜气!很有乐在其中的意境啊!
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发表于 2006-7-2 10:50 | 显示全部楼层
thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。
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5 T& z5 ~: u8 T) a, ^- nShall I compare thee to a Summer's day?
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发表于 2006-7-2 13:50 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
, |9 l. g* ~" c0 K( S$ Ythee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。
5 F% I, `: {1 n* C1 t, L. u- t7 L  ?, d3 ]! [
Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

5 p9 [( P4 w. |% V* z+ X& `# P+ \8 d: }) s: L+ @# u" Q
诗歌, 重在意境和语感, 没有那么严格教条的语法要求吧.
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 楼主| 发表于 2006-7-2 13:56 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
- ?8 u! X0 V2 s8 T4 @thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。
" J' c9 L5 m/ |( O2 Z
1 _1 V  d' c0 `+ p, @Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

. B9 l6 L0 S) y" k, D( l* ^2 \# c1 Q4 C- o6 d4 M$ [
有啊,有很多经典的例子。
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比如Sharon A. Bryington那首著名的《While Waiting For Thee》( d7 N) J7 O) @7 n. |- Q
6 P8 L' `) H% [2 q# _
Don't weep at my grave3 e/ c1 c1 B5 E
For I am not there,; N5 U, }& J( f
I've a date with a butterfly& \* O3 u7 [1 O6 ~. [
To dance on the air.1 r! S3 ]- u% J" t
If I'm missed, find a flower,
+ d+ v( b5 Y7 Y- H; |I'll be there too,8 V! n- w5 \( S- F# E
Sniffing it's fragrance
0 S- |, T. E; U5 D) \. F2 MRight next to you.
5 A; A! x" t5 |# [( T, X; n
5 V* _' J2 @# y9 V3 W8 rDon't be sad$ E! N7 ^8 Z5 V% r; e# O/ g; Z' ^
When you remember me,
& W! Y: ]+ u) s5 S5 k- B) PFor I'm singing in the sunshine,
; R1 x7 I/ g: D: JWild and free,
5 S' I/ U: B4 b8 t2 H$ uFlirting with the lighting,8 l) r/ v8 j) Z. q/ \  E
Playing tag with the wind,
( |' F5 F0 ^$ l: p) o; ?Chasing the thunder, H: k3 B' G4 Y5 N7 i
Time and again,
: P' V  f( |6 P0 T# eSoaring with the eagle,7 D; D/ k5 T& j7 f
Swimming in the sea,' u3 F' l- D2 g+ i4 n2 V( ]
Enjoying all of nature
6 b! `! }- j+ S9 w7 l6 l3 mWhile I'm waiting for thee.
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