In the garden of my heart

Dawson

听《All I want to do...》有感，涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑，见笑！

9 J9 f: }" \5 Y5 l) K' v1 AIn the garden of my heart
You planted a tree
From sunset til dawn
* y! t9 A7 ~. [6 g3 LThrough darkness to light
/ l. G. ?  u5 {) |% sNourished with my soul
Devoured my sorrow by thee
0 K5 u3 H  y! |! P  v# u8 G0 ?
8 j' R; l" c: Z! `$ d: h, QIn the memory of my life
You planted a dream
3 V  e) |3 ?) o* e* g' sShould the sky fall down on me
' x( {( t4 k  R0 u- {) @$ HMay promises fade in the sea
Sewing back every broken pieces
Bursting the love out of me

) g. y0 S( g0 p) b[mu]http://penguin.spss.sd59.bc.ca/~mqiu/images/without.mp3[/mu]

云山水月

原帖由 Dawson 于 2006-6-25 01:05 发表
听《All I want to do...》有感，涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑，见笑！

9 t" n* h! Q/ CIn the garden of my heart
. a+ E3 b* x; P5 @+ lYou planted a tree
From sunset til dawn
3 }3 ~1 s! ]5 u( ~Through darkness to light
) v( M+ R* A% Y: p4 {: BNourished with my soul
Devoured my so ...

6 X& @9 w; o- Q! T眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧？
3 \& M- M$ _0 E7 v
" T7 t5 b) q- q" I. y; h写得真好。

, A0 F' T1 ?+ D, l3 Y0 Z加精加精！

Greatwall

哥们儿，你没喝多吧？没事就过来烧烟啊！

九月

汗！居然有２单词不认识。：（

Justing

原帖由 云山水月 于 2006-6-25 01:08 发表
) q  c0 M: H9 s4 @5 T4 O9 C眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧？
2 |$ @. x" j* t# k' V5 o0 ]写得真好。
9 ~, W2 E+ z2 j% Z) I2 u加精加精！

我曾在本版也发过一首英文诗

五月

如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下，在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。

微澜

原帖由 五月 于 2006-6-25 05:31 发表
如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下，在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。

五月JJ这个意境，想想实在是罗曼蒂克，不过在爱屯，海天相接是没有了，只有在湖畔雪山了：）

朱顺顺

Should the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.

Sewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.

Dawson

原帖由 红岫添乱 于 2006-6-29 11:06 发表
Should the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.

/ a& w5 j: h. p; x4 S3 ESewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.

& ~7 d, D6 o/ z
Thanks for your insightful comment, however I have to disagree with what you said.

+ T" S8 a$ {( T5 Q- P3 E# ~1) Sky falls down on sb. is a very common phrase or idom that's been used in a lot of occasions, meaning end of the world. For example, it was used in Savage Garden's song "truly deeply madly".

2) Every broken pieces, hmmm, again broken pieces is a phrase, I know grammar wise it looks awkard, but that "S" at the end puts a nice rythem to the poem.

月光宝盒

红岫添乱 这喜滋滋的头像虽很农民，但很喜气！很有乐在其中的意境啊！

FCUK

thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。
. Q1 A5 t9 Z0 n
5 T& z5 ~: u8 T) a, ^- nShall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

五月

原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
, |9 l. g* ~" c0 K( S$ Ythee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。
5 F% I, `: {1 n* C1 t
Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

5 p9 [( P4 w. |% V* z+ X& `# P+ \
诗歌, 重在意境和语感, 没有那么严格教条的语法要求吧.

Dawson

原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
- ?8 u! X0 V2 s8 T4 @thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。
" J' c9 L5 m/ |( O2 Z
1 _1 V  d' c0 `+ p, @Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

. B9 l6 L0 S) y" k, D( l* ^
有啊，有很多经典的例子。
' c; o, T1 e+ b& @. `& F: T( o
比如Sharon A. Bryington那首著名的《While Waiting For Thee》

Don't weep at my grave
For I am not there,
I've a date with a butterfly
To dance on the air.
If I'm missed, find a flower,
+ d+ v( b5 Y7 Y- H; |I'll be there too,
Sniffing it's fragrance
0 S- |, T. E; U5 D) \. F2 MRight next to you.
5 A; A! x" t5 |# [( T, X; n
5 V* _' J2 @# y9 V3 W8 rDon't be sad
When you remember me,
& W! Y: ]+ u) s5 S5 k- B) PFor I'm singing in the sunshine,
; R1 x7 I/ g: D: JWild and free,
5 S' I/ U: B4 b8 t2 H$ uFlirting with the lighting,
Playing tag with the wind,
( |' F5 F0 ^$ l: p) o; ?Chasing the thunder
Time and again,
: P' V  f( |6 P0 T# eSoaring with the eagle,
Swimming in the sea,
Enjoying all of nature
6 b! `! }- j+ S9 w7 l6 l3 mWhile I'm waiting for thee.