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In the garden of my heart

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发表于 2006-6-25 01:05 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
听《All I want to do...》有感,涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑,见笑!+ S. \& R4 L* X9 b0 f7 h* @( k

% L0 f" r4 h+ _3 C& q3 {. U5 m& nIn the garden of my heart% Y* h* z4 m; O  }, |' }" |5 e9 b$ G
You planted a tree1 U, B* `$ m" F  \/ {
From sunset til dawn6 M2 W) ~4 F) G  w
Through darkness to light
7 J. v9 \/ X9 F. o$ ?Nourished with my soul
2 B  T, y% g* o+ `Devoured my sorrow by thee
: X/ l$ {5 U+ \- x4 f, k- {" P4 M$ x4 T8 R( X6 p# y! F, p$ y
In the memory of my life* P5 h1 _3 f. `2 N5 L
You planted a dream
; L6 k+ ~6 E3 zShould the sky fall down on me4 }8 e5 U" n3 E  |5 R
May promises fade in the sea" n" s) m: t9 U. \8 S. Y0 z
Sewing back every broken pieces6 x  _$ K! `6 \) q8 K) h. a
Bursting the love out of me
1 Q  a9 z8 p; d$ n! G+ c: b+ f2 |3 V% u7 k) \! s- }
[mu]http://penguin.spss.sd59.bc.ca/~mqiu/images/without.mp3[/mu]
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发表于 2006-6-25 01:08 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 Dawson 于 2006-6-25 01:05 发表
, Z/ n& L8 _9 t; q8 L, _0 h2 m& M听《All I want to do...》有感,涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑,见笑!
4 U4 j& H- p3 C" A& M& |7 {
3 R8 G7 L8 F$ [/ K7 p0 O! WIn the garden of my heart
: B# M. o9 C. Y0 gYou planted a tree" S' }/ x9 O! P& [/ s
From sunset til dawn
5 p9 k  k* w3 c8 V( G# TThrough darkness to light7 K8 V7 H1 b& [6 n8 w
Nourished with my soul
+ ~  F" v4 O- w: ^Devoured my so ...

" ~; d" b8 Z3 ]: S/ G* {; b9 k/ ^" b" z0 @
眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧?
$ o* ?! j" b/ [5 J3 d
8 A0 t2 Y7 k% L  [; Y写得真好。8 M% Q+ z" h* E- C  f
0 ]: h5 d% g) p" w- q
加精加精!
大型搬家
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发表于 2006-6-25 01:20 | 显示全部楼层
哥们儿,你没喝多吧?没事就过来烧烟啊!
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发表于 2006-6-25 01:26 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
汗!居然有2单词不认识。:(
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发表于 2006-6-25 03:41 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 云山水月 于 2006-6-25 01:08 发表
& l3 Z: \% F; e8 k  @* s眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧?6 y, i) F4 b& A& r4 u! A9 X
写得真好。
, |4 o( g. b: n$ j, \$ G加精加精!
- Y2 h+ O0 Q5 z* s, g! k& Y9 ~
我曾在本版也发过一首英文诗
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发表于 2006-6-25 05:31 | 显示全部楼层
如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下,在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。
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发表于 2006-6-29 09:57 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 五月 于 2006-6-25 05:31 发表. [( k) h* @( n6 p
如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下,在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。

) W+ c5 r5 e0 j0 W4 @五月JJ这个意境,想想实在是罗曼蒂克,不过在爱屯,海天相接是没有了,只有在湖畔雪山了:)
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发表于 2006-6-29 11:06 | 显示全部楼层
Should the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here./ s+ U0 N" Y  Y9 k6 X) J
1 j  H4 M/ c/ @
Sewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.
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 楼主| 发表于 2006-6-29 18:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 红岫添乱 于 2006-6-29 11:06 发表
* ]6 E- n: S% y/ y/ rShould the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.0 C4 q* Q8 v, j: C  M0 m

9 u8 J" R+ q6 i& y! NSewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.
) [/ c* b' e; K* @

/ J. N# A- l/ G1 r' d* R/ A5 ^Thanks for your insightful comment, however I have to disagree with what you said.
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1) Sky falls down on sb. is a very common phrase or idom that's been used in a lot of occasions, meaning end of the world. For example, it was used in Savage Garden's song "truly deeply madly".. v- W& E- b' p/ j
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2) Every broken pieces, hmmm, again broken pieces is a phrase, I know grammar wise it looks awkard, but that "S" at the end puts a nice rythem to the poem.
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发表于 2006-6-30 01:17 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
红岫添乱 这喜滋滋的头像虽很农民,但很喜气!很有乐在其中的意境啊!
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发表于 2006-7-2 10:50 | 显示全部楼层
thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。! |7 O4 S1 K% E- g

& V+ S8 T% t2 L  wShall I compare thee to a Summer's day?
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发表于 2006-7-2 13:50 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
$ H6 G1 Q+ j) o' M0 mthee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。
9 c( W5 x1 R" b8 Z2 U7 y4 e: p
: U7 G' m) X6 R# xShall I compare thee to a Summer's day?
; j' @9 s% \/ V% C5 n

  b; e! c: z+ J, V: n诗歌, 重在意境和语感, 没有那么严格教条的语法要求吧.
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 楼主| 发表于 2006-7-2 13:56 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表& X. Z3 D" t4 x0 D; t
thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。
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# q2 Q% I% D) MShall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

# {/ J& u; e: u% t" d8 Z$ ?5 `" v9 j1 d" g, u! g
有啊,有很多经典的例子。
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. _% z' x8 ?; ~& q* l+ c2 M比如Sharon A. Bryington那首著名的《While Waiting For Thee》
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& z+ B" r2 o/ p+ c) tDon't weep at my grave
" r# E' w8 H( s% RFor I am not there,5 t# W  m. d9 A
I've a date with a butterfly
2 s1 \* q1 j: J0 ~To dance on the air.
* o/ L6 P6 l% V  f% RIf I'm missed, find a flower,
' ]7 A) T$ E% R& _* b6 rI'll be there too,
) S& A5 ~3 z0 n5 u9 ?9 uSniffing it's fragrance
0 `- K1 f: A! C+ w! G- J7 }9 BRight next to you.
* n, V1 V9 h9 b; V9 k. a
0 M0 X+ |! f2 @; @9 D, ~, ADon't be sad
: `+ i/ J. N7 N( N' ZWhen you remember me,% l/ X* F* N9 M. Z1 S# F
For I'm singing in the sunshine,+ _: }8 ?: o/ N1 Q
Wild and free," R$ {+ N8 ?) E: v9 G8 t1 F
Flirting with the lighting,' n" h- z) U3 t2 V4 U" H
Playing tag with the wind,
+ A0 w3 D" V- tChasing the thunder
. x7 v; Z" C" x; K$ w0 HTime and again,
: K- T) M: w2 m) FSoaring with the eagle,
" C' F- w2 C' ]8 W. \0 E: m- q  QSwimming in the sea,
% U. v- {5 e' m8 c2 {  e7 pEnjoying all of nature
( F+ {! ^# o( t# N5 Y8 A5 FWhile I'm waiting for thee.
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