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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA
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1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math. % Q4 ]/ }! a% [. u! W% k9 v
2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown.
8 o2 O& u; G+ x- C8 K$ ~7 H3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations. & X9 V& L. J0 X J
4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on.
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" M7 b% E5 }5 k" D6 e) o% }TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA 0 y" ]. p* W1 G7 P M- R8 t
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1. Big rock between you and B.C. ) _: R) d3 @. A4 i
2. Ottawa who?/ @2 A" u! E( b
3. Tax is 6% instead of approximately 20% as it is for the rest of the country. ; h0 \) H. j* P8 P4 I
4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of. # k' \3 f- z2 |+ Z& B: Q
5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country.
- v0 z3 H, L/ q* l! r6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups. , @* b4 {* O/ _, I* l' g
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/ P, q9 ?, g1 V4 fTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN + ~6 Q" I, J( H6 x" Q5 i
% C% c& n1 t& \6 O8 M1. You never run out of wheat. 3 Z2 G/ l; g" f+ y
2. Your province is really easy to draw.
. D) V7 y0 w* l; S2 c6 T3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours. 1 s" M8 T1 E+ |' G) L
4. People will assume you live on a farm. 8 R3 L- v1 m/ P: S5 c+ z! ^5 G
8 Q2 |3 N( R+ q( CTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA
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$ k- e! S# C6 D9 w% }/ g& l1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property.
/ I4 l/ ~; b+ ^8 m, Y2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes.
- l% b, T: m2 i7 {3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter.
& M2 ~9 T2 R9 ]1 C+ ^* {4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood.
6 S& t4 d; t! b+ o6 f4 {5 z! l2 j6 J; a5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO
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7 ^7 ?" P1 K- y- U* W3 b1. You live in the centre of the universe. P4 `, R" Y/ }' t) f7 m8 v
2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump. 9 b( K9 i. T' V# A
3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election. / ]! L& |( V8 e: O* m- \
4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime. $ R% t9 D6 w d; s
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC , m4 h! P7 w1 k- q( _
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1. Racism is socially acceptable ; f$ o, J5 Y3 E" Y
2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next.
% ^: g2 W! N. Z- G7 F: S3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada.
% [/ g" {8 u: ?& c' E% p4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo *
' G9 D; L' n( S$ B+ u, \TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK - Q- _" n8 R8 ^" z; p1 O Z! F
& K# I {- M0 w1 n/ KTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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T, \& g3 {6 Z7 P9 Q# w5 u* f1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income.
: F( s( {7 m5 i& `2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies.
2 W) X: o9 D" |7 y- X5 A' P3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick
( I) |; M/ E& C7 Y, A4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA
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3 x7 ]0 }4 b) D1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can.
0 A' A! P3 d) e8 f% w/ k2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt.
0 q1 v! [+ c% J; p. F3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money. ) R7 F4 ?$ T# J4 O4 G
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+ m1 U/ [- e. L& iTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND 3 r: ]6 Y( w4 x. ?1 d( @/ Z1 g
7 Z' G" b$ L# u; j: b! H; N1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge.
5 e- K& K* k! Y" R& G ^/ K2. You can walk across the province in half an hour.
4 c& }) G" K, O8 x% ^2 _: [3. You can drive across the province in two minutes. 0 {/ O& e. \' m4 j% d" }% ]
4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea."
; _$ E$ C% Y3 C5 c% e$ H1 ]5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from. 6 w" t! a. r9 m9 _$ L8 w. l: ?
6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND + W: n3 C$ x9 g' X
& p( U) G8 l; T c1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea. 2 n! a2 w0 l6 X2 {" S! }6 ~
2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse.
# s7 k- G& b/ H, G: ~. u7 r& S3. The workday is about two hours long. & n$ S2 t0 P6 k) n
4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding |
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