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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA9 I7 [) s ~2 J& H
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1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math. " V7 x: \* n w3 v
2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown.
5 E( b* \+ r; x p6 U7 Y3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations. 9 {" Z+ ~5 G ?/ d0 I
4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA
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/ u6 i. j% t* z/ _' H! R% {1. Big rock between you and B.C.
0 O+ S/ x+ l- k9 K2. Ottawa who?# T0 P; ^) o( c9 N; q5 u
3. Tax is 6% instead of approximately 20% as it is for the rest of the country. ! O Q9 Y2 |1 D0 c( f2 ?
4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of.
, `! a% u+ A0 R/ R# ^4 z) Y5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country. ( {! Z1 C& M# ]( c7 p! a, @8 N* O
6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups.
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3 ^! ?; _2 E Z `* jTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN
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% H9 h9 h0 z; x( T0 i) k: H1. You never run out of wheat.
0 W- u! L0 ~4 O5 n. F9 X+ Z) J2. Your province is really easy to draw.
0 W' j, m* i0 [8 }! w$ ]8 \& d3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours. 5 i6 G7 A! ^/ U- V! o8 u' `$ S
4. People will assume you live on a farm.
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# X6 H: g8 t; R9 c9 rTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA
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1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property.
# J4 H$ _1 G- B7 z! l2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes.
& h4 w( f7 \! f1 h1 T4 e1 k. W3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter.
/ Q9 b: B( B. U# s' ?$ I4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood. s- H7 |# _( k' g/ ~
5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by.
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# F4 t; z" v; m& tTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO % ^. m; \& q; A H3 Q& f
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1. You live in the centre of the universe.
' t+ v$ P/ x! f- [' l4 \2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump.
4 o( }% M6 T+ r3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election.
( q% W! Z( h3 b ~4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime. : E9 q1 d: @$ I" e' K
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC
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1. Racism is socially acceptable
( c& h( ]0 a* M5 o( R2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next.
& n5 r1 |/ @0 ]$ O ^9 v3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada.
7 {* E; R0 a7 H- `7 X' _3 J+ D4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo *+ Z+ U, h7 S+ ?/ h9 E! m
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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. T9 U) N2 K6 ATOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK X* \. o* q. C3 ?. h
# j0 M* @1 {" h5 h `- Z; d1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income.
1 `6 l, e5 u' e7 l" S! W+ Q( ?& \2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies.
6 n/ d" X3 f3 f9 R* s3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick " n. B0 x0 G5 |) U4 A* f9 Q( n0 L0 I- C
4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse.
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. ~) w8 b/ e7 ~TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA
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1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can. # S3 o4 {! I+ R9 ~1 X8 e
2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt. " u+ G! }( q6 \
3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND
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* D, J4 A- t i) ]; M1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge. / A+ P5 {# v9 A8 _$ |7 B+ d
2. You can walk across the province in half an hour.
! ]$ d0 @) a c9 [# R3. You can drive across the province in two minutes. 5 | @8 g$ G3 t( n
4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea." " N" }& n6 n! `* p9 P, M
5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from. ' K4 b8 s$ l7 R( D) A
6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND 9 d2 r+ r" ~; v# ]% ^$ X
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1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea. - H7 [& S- W/ h
2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse. 3 k% h/ W4 I0 q# y2 g
3. The workday is about two hours long.
; t, R6 g* Q) h, |( U3 n4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding |
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