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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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7 w; K7 }5 k! s" F% v: k- p5 t 1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
: Y6 w* _' E' U$8.00/hour.% W+ k' k# t8 M* t* N3 _5 q
2 l5 g& Q1 ~6 t5 T# X2 y' m' @ 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.% ]4 h/ p" h4 p
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money# H: i: I. D9 Y a
on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas* C- w3 ?* q) T3 ~' S: i
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)1 |9 U% `- y' { `
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come3 o# V' |& o/ B! P9 j" b
here sick.8 l: `# ~$ U" y8 k
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 128 U9 L5 s6 v& F! N# K! g( @" T6 W
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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5 ~6 i% `5 J, g THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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+ D" Q* E6 E/ x% J: I" ?8 e, l; B/ |1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".9 k" B& U$ g8 s& ~9 \" L0 J
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
4 p" v; O3 W1 Fis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.2 I, [1 u/ v! F! d2 F: C2 K. \
5 o9 W4 I, W1 e, b3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its. _6 S' n6 P' }2 y# o6 t
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
. b' |# h9 [7 O" @4 E. y3 wmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
) `% m2 X* C/ t* M2 F3 u" d; ego second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell& W# l1 ~+ g3 B) V2 y
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,9 b# n9 d F7 r& y7 z4 w) ]
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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3 T" w" g! r8 `3 x' i4 x! R: M5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
8 ^7 L6 W( X# k8 Y$ Ccan get you shot.
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5 q& N+ P1 u& z% G+ h$ w; S6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
, K0 v6 o9 a. y5 A- a. f6 kbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next5 |" r) O0 @' I" u0 R/ `0 A
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
: C6 j6 R) l1 [5 d2 `- f; Kmore construction starts everyday.3 Z7 _8 `" p1 i; ~- e
/ X( v# m! s5 l8 E 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
! P; G6 ]; j1 h3 y, mdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,- o# t4 r: g4 r+ ^' a" s0 v
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.8 o3 R8 i4 \4 V6 M- N6 x: n
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
4 J G4 S, {8 X4 e I3 vthe same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the% s' i+ D% P5 x" e* {
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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" T) [! p8 H; N; I0 I2 R. I/ @6 |10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
% V$ S0 n3 @6 m* N$ B/ Q( rzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
! ?2 [2 m- m/ C9 C/ X6 naccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
9 m6 C, f6 w2 u! v6 | @0 L6 ilined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
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virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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