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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA' ]* X% ~& R4 f8 Z
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1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
$ {+ z" f! l9 ], L7 h3 `# y8 S0 f* b- nhospital.( Z1 i0 z/ f% g
' I7 E& l7 E/ _ _# K0 s 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder- Y6 z+ s7 S. R6 ^
capital of Canada .5 \; ~: G' `. E, t$ I
* m* J$ ^ R8 e 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .+ Z% n6 S4 G6 D
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug y( K1 R8 X, D+ G: {
capital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is$ w) y" S9 {5 A3 z% P$ H" W% s
$8.00/hour.3 V# \! }* R( h! w
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.( d9 F( ~) ^2 A! E5 ]3 T
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
2 L* c; F+ {# Lon a 15 year holiday ?
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7 _% Z6 R5 [8 r4 a7 F 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas' }% M; `- m; D* Q% H3 K6 G$ H
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)( }6 L; u% X0 w2 v( R* U/ x
% ?5 X& F# |# K( d4 s/ m, C# t10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come' ~ J' v2 d* `
here sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
8 v. d9 Y8 m! ?years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :0 ]# R5 e( {9 ~# O
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour" L8 ^+ l/ Q) m
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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: Z! i/ \. n& }9 {9 g! A) d3 L3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
1 T1 r* F$ G" R1 G; r2 n! Pown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
, ^/ ]/ M5 Q, i- dmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires) S, Y3 \+ J" K, a4 e4 g/ h
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
: a3 @- ~0 a6 G# v( Bphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,- o$ S+ p- Q. K# M
cussed out, and possibly shot.4 z; Y) R q3 d6 {/ E
* h. i A& @/ r% Y5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
7 U3 U7 B) Z5 _/ b3 ucan get you shot.- x. W$ v) X q4 L7 g8 {
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
& Z; A5 P" w' e4 ?barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
6 n* Z, q4 @7 [7 mday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
2 ~: n# |$ _7 c" Z$ vmore construction starts everyday., `) s2 l* A3 ]
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
6 d F" R1 A8 n; h5 B) l Ydeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
2 V, k2 o4 L* K0 ]squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.* A: K3 s4 ^- K. c8 D: Q7 x8 c
: z% S; ]- {9 \1 [/ `$ {8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
$ D$ F% t+ }/ F, U' ?# G) d" xthe same road.
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/ h& |/ Z1 ?, Y, u, b. U9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the) R2 ~0 I! u' b2 s
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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8 _) o! A, t4 C# P7 T5 V) x/ Z/ R10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
. l3 r9 N3 M) ozone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"* f# Z f w9 c* O( a2 I- P9 z
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.! u8 v0 ~+ _3 F) E
8 W0 ^; _- v# x2 |, n4 ?11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
- ?5 W* O2 d$ m* `- U$ Q0 C! @lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
. K& d! _( i( _0 [blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
# T; r' I% O5 [& A/ Wvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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