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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA5 Z6 h6 K; A5 x6 j6 F6 W/ H1 S
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1. Bring your own house.+ l/ v' F: @ ]$ E4 i
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
: F2 \2 b1 w) V; dcapital of Canada ., s$ T% r1 N. O+ q+ {& V! l
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada ." }( _/ X6 W& f9 y4 E
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug8 p/ d! D' D: j6 E0 l# k3 U! T, A
capital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
# ~7 w1 S, P2 h5 Q: H% d- g# x$8.00/hour.: b4 A x u& q, P/ f# V
" b( q' z" K2 n: C! G: n 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.1 }4 |4 x& n( Z) z* o L) f
2 |, L# U# Q% @6 l 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money( d- Q, [+ ^/ A: D
on a 15 year holiday ?
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/ f) C6 @; i9 k* G% o 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas8 }" u# e) C2 @% D `
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come: n/ i% V( M7 U( F7 V# h2 \
here sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12+ @" y* o4 Q4 [) d) N
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN "./ z, W% V) Z: @6 S. O
|( {* J5 B/ ]% H- ^% l! I; R8 p; b2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
6 h. o7 }( A7 S/ W+ h; a; Mis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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" P& r! U. l |( x$ r$ F/ s, I6 i3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its1 r, t0 X# p; p. F/ v
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest/ u/ W' v$ F/ ^( A, Z H; [7 r
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
0 \2 f+ N0 ~' E6 |' J1 Wgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
- C" e7 X* ?1 v4 N' U: W$ I8 Kphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,1 ~0 y0 g$ L9 @
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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, T! ~' l& L" I0 G2 E# t$ r5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
0 }) w. \! z# p ccan get you shot.. J6 k# e$ f9 c4 U6 h
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour- T5 a9 Z. t+ v" l5 N& P
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next8 z x* `: v3 I4 p/ h- E! T4 _
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
9 _ [! j6 o1 ?4 l8 c- omore construction starts everyday.& D1 c9 w& {' n: K; q
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
9 \9 Y. G/ Z' ]deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
" p8 Y0 S3 X$ W/ X/ V, a. S" v9 usquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.# K }/ b! S0 G* H
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all1 _0 o; n" j2 E( O% }+ V6 x0 K
the same road.; n% E7 d; R1 X& f. C
% A# R0 i+ u! s/ I; c) Y# x9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
# u5 D0 R) z6 f9 m: }- i' eshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
& {2 m! r8 x3 t" i# c; v4 d* Gzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
$ T3 @# } v9 b7 ~- h% L0 W! |accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.; W6 D- [ u6 A; \4 x8 g
- ?+ Q; U1 E7 ?# Q* n8 M11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
5 S% t8 ~/ B; A8 h9 M8 rlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
' J, n4 ]4 ^ Fblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is% y3 J( h% t8 l! \' V$ t* H
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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