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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA+ N" U4 M4 \- S3 k: g. F
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1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder! b J: y) {- r" W
capital of Canada .( S, L3 U% ?2 R; F, I5 E
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .0 N0 J- f4 x# i* _
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug, L+ j% v! g2 V1 o+ |# E' p8 ?# \
capital of Canada .1 {. N& j- t* n9 Z% S. c' b( e! B( Z
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
4 H$ L R5 K7 q* u" ]" I9 i* U2 [$8.00/hour.& A- \$ n' [, o* z/ m* G
% W. v4 I0 ?8 O0 k4 N6 ^ 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.! }) P* Q, i: x" V4 S3 m: {8 Y
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
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- M8 @" ?$ x2 a1 \, z( V 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
- ]7 G& C7 N; _+ l3 @prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12! x* A+ W& C9 u
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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9 A* D; a* M! A$ t( H. L THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
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& p1 L* f2 N5 B1 d3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
" E) w! A$ ^" k& |4 N' lown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest5 Y1 o! `3 e2 a& ~/ B) p$ A
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires( a4 V) h" W) K$ L: E
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
2 y" c5 V: ?( e5 m1 Gphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.! F( O9 w R# @5 j2 V; z* R z
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
' b. u- f* \/ w! r& Ccussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
4 Q& T4 d1 F3 Z, ]% @- M9 ocan get you shot.
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. A; L( T) M1 T5 B. C! `1 M. D+ X6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
2 R6 {( Y d9 }0 gbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next$ w% X& M' l8 K. ~5 D$ w
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and' D) ?) C0 P* M
more construction starts everyday., B- j7 r/ a, k# m' R
+ P* @% O$ C. l6 d/ t7 ` 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
5 ]5 [& ]3 K0 r7 W/ e0 fdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,8 m" V( ^ w9 ^: \: k
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.) \) h' e5 ]2 [. @# a- V+ b1 Q7 s
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
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$ ^' ]; T% p+ w" Z9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
4 R$ j F. S* \9 z$ Tshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
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accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur. F/ w- L7 i+ D
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
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virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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