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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA6 l6 y3 r2 f/ ?! X$ }
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1. Bring your own house.
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3 v x' Z' R6 e, n8 c1 q 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and3 F6 T- w! S- |
hospital.: q6 k) b) ~& q. \( l) D, o
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
' W; K: k0 o9 {$ {2 o1 |0 P6 _) J) Z# ~capital of Canada .
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0 O& W M6 Y1 P& X4 H0 C' Y 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug1 j9 c1 r5 O! o: K7 S& s: z: B J
capital of Canada .8 u; I' G& {4 u d: ~5 X3 ?5 Z
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is0 f6 c: I& g' d/ R* y6 L' x
$8.00/hour.* n5 c( X' y$ P% q; X
& z+ S0 Y3 H+ b' S& H; R+ \$ ]8 h9 |
7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
$ K2 ] \+ j @' d/ ]1 Uon a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas3 u* P! G( a; i
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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8 q8 H3 Z$ r6 F10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
9 T' ?( z5 l3 t2 W8 O4 Cyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.5 o0 g0 ? ]+ B3 f* t0 w
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :/ ?* |) V5 P7 Z/ ?. b
& t, _. L# ~# @, u* T; M1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".- ]/ a' C9 Y* O
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
' A$ f" L; W5 @# Ais from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning., B* P' U' C0 O0 u
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
5 d1 x& `! M: Y6 m, x* Aown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
9 I% a& n$ ?0 F" R' q8 m8 X4 K, {muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
2 D, Z8 N1 @+ e; r7 U0 j* V- ugo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
. Z' N! U& p Y$ Z! S7 @0 ^2 nphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.) ^+ T1 T$ z0 M, C
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
5 |1 P- ?; ]) ?; g1 k' ]/ xcussed out, and possibly shot.
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# h9 c# ]2 P0 Q) r2 P9 L8 `5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
+ f/ R3 v9 A9 Q, Xcan get you shot.* k& z2 n! ]2 @8 T
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
% }; G2 p, O: O H1 ]0 Fbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next9 N9 W+ S$ N, v9 P |# q7 f
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
% t0 o* i# f" zmore construction starts everyday.1 r. o* h& B y) @' S
$ ~% g2 n# d! v. V" g# H 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,* t, O8 E; Y) M' K
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,& g5 |! f! ^5 R( b2 V
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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& d3 G) Q( R3 w8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all# d$ @# R2 n! e# r% ^2 U2 w$ L
the same road.6 Z$ v9 x4 a9 P; ]1 n
9 f/ \' ]( s8 w+ Z: D" O" y% r" y9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the% D) u7 A$ V5 o( h0 s
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally4 }5 d% w A- B/ y( d/ {1 ?$ e
activated."
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4 I6 D2 y. i8 K' n2 |+ D10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
( p: C7 I$ C2 q& Wzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
+ `3 V3 f% C0 d, h4 M+ u3 Uaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.' }8 K+ C8 ]% t) H0 I
9 ^. a" w3 `* \: y% }5 Q11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur1 _. E) C+ ^: Y
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and" |& o! {! @* O6 W* S. U
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is. \" q2 r: Z9 t: i1 n' S
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
