 鲜花( 1)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA! a# v0 E3 G4 n& i; i! I' \0 W- y
8 g* m" S% b' U3 W2 f& H' t; r+ o
, b% T9 a- y1 o, |* J2 i, M
8 i0 z2 w3 Z+ o* k' ?: T 1. Bring your own house." `+ A! n: K* q7 p+ d
7 t: x4 o5 w7 b! L
2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
1 [- S" S9 i$ `% |" shospital.
+ w1 B x1 {% c9 S u) ]6 S ?; ~
3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder z) m# L( l! n; ], \2 r
capital of Canada .
8 n. d4 c" r4 u) o- z2 r. a+ f. n ] f4 p
4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
6 W/ C! l0 K& E& B+ p/ e; p' h5 w* \4 {5 ]
5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
' s/ d3 o0 b4 u/ R2 bcapital of Canada .
& U% a4 P# D. x8 a* D* e5 a1 O9 n& u: a* H9 K
6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is; k8 q$ g4 K7 U
$8.00/hour.! l Z9 w8 Y* B) E, X, m
* C0 N O, I! l0 v5 @7 w
7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.; L! q) M5 Q+ y+ s5 y" `$ N0 }/ }; h
$ N# L% W7 g& ^* k* k, N 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
0 c/ K8 Z' `$ m% b: Aon a 15 year holiday ?- h. r8 M, F3 x( O* _. k
, H, u( ~% ?9 P1 }- A) a 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas, F* w# x% l) I& d6 C% M2 x: j
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
# L" b' y/ H2 ?2 `1 H! V9 l
3 |1 S }' K9 \8 L8 l3 K$ K2 V1 n10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come2 R& b1 J Y5 y8 O% G. H9 E9 i9 R/ m( `
here sick.* G% L7 c9 s( h' g/ D/ ~6 ~
4 y8 X; O, M2 C$ U% p+ w
11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 127 {# d5 A$ x' Y. P V, r+ p
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.+ F$ ], _/ V; @- j$ c# h
8 p& Q- m* ]0 j6 {0 A4 M0 S2 e8 q* O. W: _5 X& c
. d' C. _- v; E$ f: k: X( H THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :4 l. B' ^+ c7 ^4 p$ ^
0 @6 c- J5 V% K$ T" y1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".2 n& N) z6 J" f/ j6 Y$ Z" t4 s8 W
+ c% J6 Q' K' D/ \1 d2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour! i! t$ l6 s+ Z
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
; f) w' o% e& p' }& ]# k
4 \# J& X- V% Z, @1 U: x/ S3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
0 H; Z' m% a0 J. @ ^2 Zown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
# w2 T9 Q$ i% b, Nmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
7 C1 a0 S/ h# B8 c% _go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell# J7 V& R# [* `+ U' _0 _
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
4 |. S! W7 m. O) `/ G$ W
! @0 ], z4 K# D" k4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,6 I) Q Z" a7 J9 Y$ H& E
cussed out, and possibly shot.* h4 w5 y# {# a& o! r) Y
: _8 ~& K, C7 P5 y, o3 B
5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that- v( E2 v% }8 P# L% }; Z7 q
can get you shot.
, u* N2 H4 l4 \5 z. v2 C% A7 t% k- W9 O% Z- S2 E. K8 i
6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour) [; S! S5 u- r) u7 m
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
9 L! e9 P8 }. m) e2 a1 x9 Lday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and0 n! B+ c/ }+ }6 _, ?
more construction starts everyday.
, D6 ~" [7 o7 _& q0 L* k3 P1 d# ^- y: f$ p
7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
' u$ ^0 z. N! [) ]; udeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,. U5 |/ ]- C( o: O
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.3 V: j+ C. I2 y" o# Y, n
; z+ g4 T! O [% t) U3 [) |2 @8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
9 r9 K5 @/ ?& k& z' u- pthe same road.
( L, l& E* I; o' m7 w
' v0 ~& e# P0 h3 V6 q9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
* B. ?9 M/ w, R& v! Z$ t/ [shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally# n' _7 N1 r( V, [/ L
activated."
1 W* ^% x1 n) r' C8 k
) k% ]) ?3 I; a( _3 G10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km J( W) d0 W" f* a8 t# C! {8 a
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
; T& G# U5 T# K/ [8 b& Q7 { xaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
; O3 e* p3 z7 C" v7 K5 Y8 _) q- \ p. j+ |) b4 q
11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur3 y c, ]" z$ i$ f. R2 F" S
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and- ?4 R+ m: b6 I: J t( w
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is) h+ | K) T" ?- ~: r
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
: G8 e9 V* X2 f; W1 z( o
发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
" S& a/ \5 v4 ~9 P+ T5 b
