送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON，ALBERTA的朋友

acsm6

NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA


% j. _/ x) K2 h
, R1 F8 A8 {$ x" m 1. Bring your own house.
& f* L/ j& E5 _7 J) g" `% @$ W
2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
hospital.

3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
+ A& U; C) h' q& ~1 H, Rcapital of Canada .

4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .

* q3 R& W! ~4 p4 H8 r; H# w: d 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
6 ?9 i7 Y+ k( Scapital of Canada .

6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
$8.00/hour.

7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
" w6 Q# A3 o, s3 e, z& b$ v
  w0 r: H" k' Q: d; C 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
on a 15 year holiday ?

6 c) C' c- ?; w4 J3 H% c9 ? 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
8 W8 S# R. s" X* R" n) m
5 v' `# i; }: ^10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
; I; z# ~# y$ [9 |, khere sick.
7 ^" J: d! C. o% x: U2 Y; h
11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
5 t- E. j: s( ^+ p) B

+ R9 h+ `' U( r0 u! I
THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
& a; O9 E8 V# N! J0 b$ F" P
1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
2 h- z1 q6 E4 e
2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.

3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
) A: r4 p8 D# s- K! S1 eown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
" K" f" a( b1 Ego second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.

6 [' v3 P( w) |0 i* b' [5 X- b( T4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
# p8 Y( k7 T6 S" S6 N: e7 kcussed out, and possibly shot.
7 C2 A4 [6 y0 K9 u/ I* u$ j$ W
9 z0 I5 P' P$ [5 c5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
can get you shot.

! |' U( y& Y( D* T2 t+ l6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
! W  ?6 e: t+ V' I4 xbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
% l: q3 ^) }1 T( G) q$ x8 @day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
more construction starts everyday.
! P3 u/ M' B; d/ C
# R& [6 B1 d# l4 q$ s7 d' |2 ]1 f, L/ _9 b  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
2 r  {- o2 [3 U! Bdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
; E' x* a$ H8 }
+ K" C1 r7 h* w) {8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
' {. L5 Y5 c2 ?; `the same road.

9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
0 E. D* H- A$ n9 Uactivated."

10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
. w5 C$ P1 v4 A( Z& |# w$ Izone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
8 J/ @$ ~6 U3 a9 E' l) x
9 S5 @3 x- }$ z& P0 m11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
6 x- m6 E- @4 r) J7 s4 {0 C5 `lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
* Y+ f# r- z* C' P9 D* iblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
% ]" }: K( u! y* [5 h8 u5 i5 uvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw.

大头熊

有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人，大部分人都活下来了。

kaleli

又是一个挨砖的帖子。

人生几何

紫光

西红柿酸

HOAH

朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
8 o7 E) E$ i; k/ D: r/ [( E& Y有一个人，他骂了自己所在单位一辈子，由于长期持有一种心情，一种哀怨的表情，脸色都是土灰色的了，可就是没见他作出什么成就，已没有离开他的破单位，却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。

April

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :

此地钱多, 人傻, 速来
% G; o% Y- `7 ^1 X" F2 z, f# s1 L


[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]

pacibridge

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
) [+ ~# d) b* E7 R9 z3 _) t ...

$ m% o$ N8 T/ G# e# H. D
说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

上酸菜

是原创吗？楼主太有才了，佩服啊！！

宁宁宝宝

HOAH

原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表

  B2 m4 O' J/ c0 t, M% j) N
  x& p& f* ?) {( q! M6 M" W, M 说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

5 l: t1 @5 k3 b8 y, K
. }0 P0 \4 h7 M8 w, u这么刺痛你了吗？
% X/ N2 |, S' u  @! Z
我可指的是极少数人，如果你不是，就别往自己身上想。

大头熊

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
6 r, G  E; U2 b% ]. _ ...

1 `( p! c9 ?, W4 U你这样不太好吧！每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬，好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。
( M3 X2 e$ G- V, f: r: }$ Z; j
再次申明我的观点，Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。

Yang123

埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!

MyFairy

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.

lalah

就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊

兔宝宝

以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.