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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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. \) K& O- ]/ S. Y- c, T! \ 1. Bring your own house.2 ]; o4 d! n+ H' F% b) v+ J2 \' x1 F! y
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and( u, A6 U2 C: y# J: j7 N7 O x. O
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder, T a! {' H* U }, N Z
capital of Canada ." D9 \) q& r3 H+ | m) M6 X9 K0 P
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
/ k& p6 b# h V/ a5 z/ ocapital of Canada .0 G, K- U7 Y/ t
; H; J. f; p7 d( q 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is7 \7 B, g1 q; F1 \1 }/ C
$8.00/hour.: Z) b5 G d7 {; R) s
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
+ F8 G R% C: s/ W1 v+ ?on a 15 year holiday ?
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2 U0 ~* q5 O ^6 D/ G. D 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas) c8 w9 ^' O2 N! o6 f+ I
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come* ~9 \* c3 X \$ m
here sick.
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( q. |8 R& A7 w! `0 ~( T8 c11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
8 b2 f! p* c. qyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.: Z# _( \; M& @) L3 d2 B- M
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3 v; T y' t0 e! T& ~5 W THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :6 T1 a. f7 f. X8 j2 @ M
% D* S0 j8 G# {4 A5 M1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
! G4 e7 E- Q) Q3 Z. wis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its; p+ |9 c. A6 x" J
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
7 L. e* f- B4 A$ ?5 }9 X/ Lmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires+ r2 `' q' S+ X4 R/ R: n7 v9 r2 T
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
) h1 X& H7 g- u$ {# A4 ephone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way." ?0 A1 X& v; ^$ p& n9 A' _
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
: W; }; j! T4 f, m8 A# j/ A, _cussed out, and possibly shot.5 `/ z8 C5 n: V+ G7 q* L7 t7 u
% I7 ?! g# T( C9 o6 S# e& a5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that$ m0 q2 C& O5 J" w. J3 [
can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
9 B; F: P4 `# @# [& Ebarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next5 O$ M7 R" o- K. i( U5 C) T6 G; q
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
/ y( Z- H: Y, w# B+ ?& omore construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
, ^6 ?& g9 r. @ Q) Y Vdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
* v/ s% }- Z ]( q2 L5 a8 C2 Ysquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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- ]+ |" [3 R9 B- {! K# W8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all$ ~3 i \' V; W7 A( `
the same road.
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1 H0 w0 t* X8 f/ B9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
0 D$ @( Y* Y+ W* R# hshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
7 ^$ P& I, i% J% {& Y, factivated."
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! w, {: v: r, w }* G4 T) P/ ]4 J10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
6 n( t# \ u9 Gzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
/ v, j K" ~6 jaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
/ J3 T! j2 t0 Vlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
$ E0 r9 m9 H' Q9 `* d( h. F Z& Mblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
0 I* W6 V4 i$ n* U1 G4 uvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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