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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA1 Z$ O' H y( X
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1. Bring your own house.4 J& U2 v/ j! a; c, P. ] {+ Y
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and# V* {, N& ~! q
hospital.* p* N" s! }9 ?2 x' @5 c
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
( f( K: l7 I$ E% `2 G9 \/ Dcapital of Canada .& O' R" W f4 m; I
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug" C6 f3 j) Z( P' A# [
capital of Canada .7 [5 f3 B2 h- o N
1 z4 ]9 c: w9 P. R' Z& }! Q' i a 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
: q# A; V8 I0 }$8.00/hour.7 C+ r+ f# F, G; B+ c
/ M6 o0 u7 P5 E5 c 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.. c" {' z5 A: u
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money; l M& f% a: q
on a 15 year holiday ?" h$ e& y, {" j* m0 W+ i1 |
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas- m- q5 N) T$ u9 L& H& k" w8 n7 G5 ?
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come' C/ h) z. \4 `! _2 ~8 `
here sick.; o l* R" D. o1 v& `3 |
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12 E3 A3 _ i# N+ G
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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1 t) g2 R8 r- |" P% m THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :8 X8 S- [- ]; K5 s5 L, `) H/ \) z
) V/ z, ~% B! `, f( W1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2 [# t+ g) y/ x1 n9 D0 ~6 ~2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour8 U" v0 y* v8 l
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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, C/ u% L, q. D: Z; b8 m2 | l3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its8 w. q) n) S6 q$ z3 R+ L4 v
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
3 {: d0 @2 T! G4 B8 V1 I2 Vmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires& A' K* X# {. o
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
% e3 h0 l5 w ^; s8 H M- ^phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way., p" }+ s# J+ M# P$ r
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
* K4 U/ D4 ?! b/ k- f2 Z; Ncussed out, and possibly shot., i: D% B$ @) i
" Q! O+ m5 @/ E1 d! V$ v5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that% I/ v1 m' T; z) m2 \6 O- \
can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour0 n' Z1 ?: n/ @* z. u; Z3 z1 Y& O
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
! S& x( L1 N+ q" eday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
" E D- n8 m* h5 zmore construction starts everyday.- o) ?8 g) O! s4 e( z& P* f
" a; d& W# ?) h y 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
8 Z* X! _3 ~4 }% ]4 z. q7 f4 w7 R2 zdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage, x' s/ _- p! {" i3 l
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.7 Z I$ L/ F; p) r8 r y
& h$ U) E( x5 m0 `8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all5 g6 h$ w( o* x% k7 n# T" A
the same road.1 P! n0 b. u) K6 S. N$ b* y
& [, _" M! Q! V' v+ b. |9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
- |' l* z/ T7 k: @7 kshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally4 ^0 v) S! `1 y$ N3 E
activated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
; h" |7 t, B1 J D( rzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
6 @8 G1 h4 G5 r" d3 [4 Waccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.4 o0 E: ]" k: K& j
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
1 g% q8 R- O! ^5 v0 ylined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
/ D8 _" B3 s6 a9 U yblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is9 K: y; h5 p2 c: \' P" T" X6 j
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
