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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA6 |" A6 z: J" M3 @; r" Y
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1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and; X$ ~2 L+ y$ m0 q% Z+ }# r
hospital.
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! l( y2 i* l6 h# E3 [" S. C 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
5 g: M9 T: K6 x9 I, b. W4 l/ hcapital of Canada .: W7 t* K/ n) l9 b
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug: A5 s) e5 d; E
capital of Canada .1 F* V. I" [( k3 Y
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
( U; r4 Q' u' f3 D2 u$8.00/hour.& l) I1 K- ]9 N! F4 I [* W( C) M
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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3 H6 a0 D) c, E# T 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money. I3 V! @% M6 Z- n6 r0 o) T
on a 15 year holiday ?
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+ g4 ?0 n4 m \. B- N 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas. D7 B: s' U" r' h% ~1 `: ^8 P
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage), U# C# @# N4 B( \( a
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come F0 H d' r" m& k: w, E; B, ?
here sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
+ v6 H5 r; H2 y. C/ _+ Y2 eyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.3 _- z/ V9 ^+ K8 e0 D" U) C4 y
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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h# `/ U, }* Y/ Z* D0 x1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".9 W& [! F7 S$ K5 `9 M
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour7 g7 T2 l U' m
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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) P7 r4 m% q3 j6 P- e3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
# \: u+ l! {2 F. Oown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
5 ~7 S/ C6 Q* V3 g- pmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
3 g" s; g! p3 {- Y# m: jgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
* ]# E! q" l6 I$ y% ^. qphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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9 x2 G) H1 t) n: `9 u; f* F4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,; d- O6 ` N1 b3 o% l0 f+ H
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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9 I; |8 v: }- x+ U0 P5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
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. u6 K3 b) [' ?/ X @3 G6 A0 g6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour, b9 t6 r1 g7 J' p1 ~
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next# c" Z: d' i6 i" o1 r! c2 f0 a6 M
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
8 T% E% g' G: V& p" Y7 Tmore construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,0 A4 _! E; e; Q. ^- k/ m# M m
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
3 k! t r5 V0 _% d. ?7 O6 q- j4 Dsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all) x+ G: p" C1 n/ ~& ~4 ^4 S$ ~! B1 P
the same road.9 `2 x+ p% d/ t2 `
! G1 F& D" a8 _3 o9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the) z: W" f& m3 {. b8 J7 i
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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0 @$ C6 t R. w- m. y2 `( h10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
5 j& ^6 g; t8 g( T# g# U( K# dzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
. W J9 o% h% r5 i' `9 J+ V8 r4 ~' Kaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.( ^* U! _% K0 v7 A4 K& E+ y
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur2 \$ m' z! ~1 {& U
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and* n; F# \# G3 _. S3 W2 T2 p
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
1 Q/ b: M7 H. v6 X' cvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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