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送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.
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, n. H. _8 @1 a! i- n: g4 p 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and! z/ @5 h( O# V
hospital.$ a1 D' i; c* E

- U* _% V! a+ s7 \1 y) G 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder+ x* }0 ?0 t* E3 i- f
capital of Canada .' y( X2 p2 T  u9 }) [( {* I

* \& w& _( a( y5 w 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .( M9 f5 F* e* e0 _3 ?
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug, F$ h; j5 k- e7 H
capital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
  S( |& j5 f% F3 n$8.00/hour.! x% z; r( ^9 A. N) I) A3 e
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.2 R8 w* \8 x. m3 \, a2 [

& ]* j' u+ T$ q, l" w" J( p2 \ 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money# O% j3 o* F7 I. u. ?. X& m* C: e
on a 15 year holiday ?4 o" W  t9 V( G8 B2 Z- g

8 _( ~1 S8 k% Q4 I1 a! V5 B( j 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
4 K+ u0 _; U! Q5 N( F9 q- y9 fprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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9 o% E6 [3 S. f5 G10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come6 a+ c! Q+ [! y1 s! U5 R
here sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12  H. ~0 ]* E! U: k2 x" ^+ i
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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" l3 Q( ^: w: l  G THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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7 E1 F  t; t  ]$ \+ l' b. E2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
+ y! e2 k' Z" ~/ ^1 ^/ X, T3 Uis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.( E" ~) ?# Q% J& [4 D

$ r# \8 L) @" r2 ^* ?$ A3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
* L2 @% U0 z: D) w: c, down version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
! j% G$ ~/ A# J- }, x+ dmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires! j- K% V$ H, D! d
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell% T* r" S5 c- k, }8 s+ q5 {
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.' {% a% t0 V! u8 }- y4 ~) N% W
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,7 V# b6 q- r; m9 u7 u
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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/ Z$ s* k  }5 w# a5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
/ U* C: T4 |2 T' {( c0 qcan get you shot.! w7 _  ]4 ~( [0 U2 J. g

: R- l" b  k/ b2 @; N$ v6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
9 [6 e9 w$ {. mbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
8 x( Y# V2 W- ~4 C: P7 B+ M( }day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
7 h, R+ Q! h8 p9 O7 omore construction starts everyday.& ^$ ?7 a! H% a" R  f" |# ^
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  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
0 ?" o: A" B3 E) d; edeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
. |5 }( z& z, B& H7 j9 N9 r% a+ Usquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all; l3 v( T/ j# D
the same road.: e( U2 i5 z: }) J& Y

0 V( c& Y; g* g& F) H, E9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the6 P- v) l4 T6 ~) n1 ]9 K' U
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally8 C& Q% V" t7 E" V; M
activated."# [* c0 y" B' a
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km! |4 \/ T( l! E9 e4 b1 z0 e
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"- G7 g8 j7 F' U8 m( s: J1 n9 J
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.1 Z7 _- W" ?4 R" f) S4 ~1 X5 Q
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11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
* y7 y: C: k; h1 b0 clined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and+ o2 ?& k8 H4 z
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is3 W6 _7 n3 M' t/ a* v: T, c; K
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层
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有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
' t/ g) V/ h- B% d- d! K满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。! l/ z7 i  u3 Z( y9 F
有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :
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' }1 o7 ~2 \5 p" Q此地钱多, 人傻, 速来
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[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 8 v/ a+ F' [! m, l2 C5 h, O  p
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。- R& _' `0 f- a9 a: }
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。% N5 P9 l- K1 i  _
...

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说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表 " V3 E- D" o( `/ O  U) v

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( c: H+ C( E' M% y3 @) M( {; d 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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' L8 R' Z9 {' j- w/ z5 p9 [这么刺痛你了吗?
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! O' c, c0 G  b4 }! I) T我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
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发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
" I' v6 u4 ~1 d! R% b朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
. V, y3 S  {) X- ]  z满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。2 b2 F6 v" o" I& S2 d
...

4 I* h, H9 M3 Q* Q" c% U3 U9 h6 g你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。% L$ s/ A% U, \+ F& P+ @- P
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再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
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发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
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发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.0 U/ }4 G+ P$ ~" |
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理袁律师事务所
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发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
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发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
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