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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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8 [; v: D* k4 `7 }& n* B 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder2 w7 p! x: Q8 Q, U I7 O
capital of Canada .5 U0 l2 r9 J/ k
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
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4 `. z3 S5 `( F# T 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is% g% A! G# U7 L8 b) c4 d
$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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- G+ r9 c- S8 Z. u/ m 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
/ L* H& Q( @8 T5 n! ]prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come$ ^6 M0 e9 j$ g: \. z' z( x
here sick.
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. T( C" V/ }; p" g11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12* I1 L% Q/ x/ }& C: q: k( `- R Y
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.4 ~+ p0 O) U0 P; I" k' {( f
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".% f' D4 y! s$ p3 L7 n* x5 y8 Z
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
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% S% F& B* e+ u3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its Q3 `. o; x& v
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
/ E; _4 ?" d8 u/ Kmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
' [9 a: ~* D3 Ggo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell0 V. g# v0 ^0 Z
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,; m) z4 Q: t6 Q8 o
cussed out, and possibly shot.1 h, U* _5 |4 Y# F7 Q/ E
E, ~3 I: e" Z5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that5 ]9 m' j2 l* O, \- {0 B
can get you shot.
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& j( A( K2 Q$ L7 ]6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour" Q2 \1 a- H: K) x( h( w
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next0 P/ h$ ]7 p8 I: ~; v2 T! }9 m
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and7 N) {; q3 r% r+ I1 _; K i5 B
more construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,$ v) Q `6 Z( H: N8 ]+ @1 d/ v
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
+ S! U' ~$ i/ i$ hsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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t0 {1 S7 ?/ K d9 [" Y8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
7 X; g2 o2 L! {3 w! R7 g: w7 Ethe same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km% P$ d: o) V' Z8 u) c; t2 D9 A1 V
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
8 _# U+ W) J7 z* `: p+ eaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.& s: H# s2 j6 e
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
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blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
