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2 G, H3 w5 |- pWhy did God make mothers?1 e, ?. b7 }0 a* x
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1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2 H2 ?. p: \1 |3 q; {2 h2. Mostly to clean the house. & r% {* J1 ~$ a
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
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1 n. [/ O, {1 M! G& ~% ZHow did God make mothers?
: q( Y5 k3 ]2 o8 y; n- j9 J3 c b1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.0 O& _& M' c6 ?: N3 h8 b* R O
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
* K+ ^. C( ^% @) s; x/ P: }3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts. : H& k. l. T5 w+ d1 T
8 `5 m1 p o& M. H0 j0 dWhat ingredients are mothers made of ? 6 F$ D* H# x8 x' Z1 V- B
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean. 2 \2 ?7 R' p- t# X4 y
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think. & j# L" Q6 T r, ]2 F; j
! o3 J8 y' D% H, ^2 `- |Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
$ X2 G, N; G0 @3 C1 J4 e1. We're related." I2 ?" q8 h$ C' O. H1 h6 k/ D
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me. . m) k8 t1 l/ h9 Y4 K' I0 q3 o
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What kind of little girl was your mom? % O6 i8 f* |; _4 ~: e$ {# `
1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff. - y5 _# @% w/ F- d5 i
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
9 Y: F7 S1 s0 P& p3. They say she used to be nice.
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, x, K# i" u" Z0 WWhat did mom need to know about dad before she married him? 7 v. b2 d5 I2 O. h1 O' d/ G6 e! ^
1. His last name.
( \ L X3 h, S6 ~8 U2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
0 A5 T) V6 z/ m9 B3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores? 3 S; k. n v$ h( T+ w6 b
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Why did your mom marry your dad? / \9 n8 r- A+ M2 o& ~7 _
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
7 H$ y, b; n* C2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
+ Y1 P) m9 T9 Q( z+ s; J8 y( G3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
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# A" y5 h8 e- q& f9 SWho's the boss at your house? : L J) ?# ?; h
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball. $ q P+ |8 o3 _ m/ ~4 i z
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.+ o1 L7 N+ I8 c4 J
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad. - t9 O" W+ I( s$ {( U
6 Q* c9 o* h, [. `# Y( s, WWhat's the difference between moms & dads?
: z' I j# [: \( V, k6 F4 d( j1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
+ m3 e- \$ ^" m6 m2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
- P. v& ^, n% w4 a4 c5 W0 `3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's. + Y, R# M `7 `/ K. ?' f
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.
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, e B$ E" ?: @. S5 u: @What does your mom do in her spare time? " s. d. d) Q, W- Z
1. Mothers don't do spare time.7 S2 G& r; Q( C* y1 C7 g4 F
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long. * g- u6 J) E! t, r. j% s. O* j
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What would it take to make your mom perfect? , y* a9 t) C7 C# V
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
8 o& H2 [9 q- s6 \. b9 B$ H. ^2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue. + r: [7 J# \! ~; S8 t9 R
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If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
) N5 D7 {# A; {( X F1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that. # `9 H! l4 A; R( n, A
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.4 @- b; ]' m Y# y' u
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head. ) r ^1 }" o e
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