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; s. y2 G8 C) L/ d: |* \% kWhy did God make mothers?
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1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.( K1 W) R6 h+ d. A. u! ~
2. Mostly to clean the house. 2 l- d, x$ C0 k" P0 C: L, v
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born. . R1 n+ s9 i/ k
) A. m1 D- E" c- i0 \How did God make mothers? 1 }5 L4 _- O% G* Z: J
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
5 K; d8 U8 }; P+ |* p* x/ h' M2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
, Q1 Z; d3 y" [. E$ J- }2 k$ x3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts. * D& G( P8 o9 e
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What ingredients are mothers made of ?
1 ]; s8 R* [) o$ p8 e6 Z) F1 @1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2 h, h4 `4 R: Q& ^# g! i2 c6 ?2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think. % }( W; A" ?' c" P ~
3 g+ e% M2 \/ b( ?3 K* ^6 ~2 }Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
6 r8 Z1 [, h8 a1 q( Z3 N1. We're related.
7 F/ D' ~7 m" v8 B& E2 p" o2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.
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) i6 s, F* \3 n2 h, rWhat kind of little girl was your mom? - {- c7 q* s1 E% h/ ?8 T
1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff. ! V' N7 A6 w5 m8 d; n# A
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy. ! b: x! I( Y- _1 [$ D
3. They say she used to be nice. 5 F( U3 p& y: `3 O; T4 ]
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What did mom need to know about dad before she married him? ; h7 B1 ]% E( [8 t* K
1. His last name.+ r" c% n) ~' ^# N- Z
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer? u' N5 T0 @5 ^ M1 s5 m' g
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores? 8 K% {( s @7 @
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Why did your mom marry your dad? 6 R" ]9 H7 z4 i: y H
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot. 9 s# F$ ]6 ]$ b: S$ v+ U- q
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
5 _, H9 G V' J! e4 b: t3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
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Who's the boss at your house? # z$ w M% O" V7 k6 {
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball. + h3 Y% @$ I' B& ]4 ?6 E
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
, w" Z' W/ R T3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad. 4 m8 w' D8 {; [) ?3 B# ~
6 |# e7 K; G J/ n" O6 Y+ n" M6 b1 wWhat's the difference between moms & dads?
) V6 z" C, q" d# r; p1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work. / G1 J- E& G+ q5 w
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
/ k+ j7 {8 A* F. ]3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
" \3 s2 b* C- {9 H4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine. * H# ]. d6 [2 w7 l; F4 q# ~
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What does your mom do in her spare time?
' c$ C+ n% S' x; r6 z1. Mothers don't do spare time.
/ m) ?& N5 x) {" k. L! D2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
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What would it take to make your mom perfect?
; ]- M9 l* g* f7 R/ g) W2 p+ i2 s' W& P1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
( E V/ G3 c& T. W/ j4 d0 p2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue. & ]( T. M, f9 b
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If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
5 A! I6 G) Y+ `0 i% r( P1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that. $ w- E' b9 H$ g/ E6 J* ?. q
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.: Q x$ A2 g4 }
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head. 8 c) z& j' `; ~. \1 N9 t: m
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