 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
|
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
- J' w0 k4 \8 u
% G6 j- p" x3 ]* B4 H! T: u/ u3 }
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
( ?7 H& W, t U
7 w0 U+ v T$ b( y2 Q4 Y! v9 s5 ?; q* y3 x
( X) p% S3 O: S. s
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
2 K$ ^( ^) w( {. H/ _; W3 T) H" x/ @' f& Y& Y4 z1 d
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
+ y; w: x3 |# ^
/ u& {+ a! G4 W' }If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
. G/ B6 o6 ?' Z) e
2 ^4 N7 P% H0 RLook at your womanly physique in the mirror --
) t4 ]* e0 U6 H/ V2 jmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
: ~/ W3 x d6 Z" H; F, A; d
& d' n* u2 ^+ @/ SGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
9 b3 l o4 x6 V" a- M2 a( C4 p) y) e5 ?, f% N
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
; I" l5 L5 C- |7 G) X& t8 ]; l: W2 {2 i3 R
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
0 W4 R' \8 d% |! T4 ~" n; c8 c$ _( s* M5 ?+ K) Z9 J1 T
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
9 {5 s% ]7 S* D5 z- M3 f% _8 B7 {, o8 X8 A: ]; d) C9 ^: e
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. - Q5 x" g$ x$ ]: z2 Q6 r
$ [ ^) i% k: w# d4 ?Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
7 B3 J# X/ q; U4 x, A
v- g4 ?+ y* w' ERinse conditioner off hair.* s% f* ^* d6 a1 M4 ~) G5 N
8 M2 e% u; L9 P/ I0 \% WShave armpits and legs.
% G0 J5 a- V3 u' t7 b7 O) [5 ^
% Y7 e7 ^ V( x& n: K3 P9 V4 o gTurn off shower.
9 Z+ X w+ A( x1 o
7 K8 D: n, e3 s# C1 b8 x) Y3 ~Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
, y* d4 [7 N7 p- n" D) b+ a# c+ X) `
3 k; n& U: T2 @ _/ F" C2 D; A! q# lSpray mold spots with Tilex.
) ], B5 m8 t% k
1 q, o3 c/ l! v+ f/ b5 NGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
5 F4 n) E& P6 w, n
& U0 E7 c) z: p# {& i7 @3 d S2 AWrap hair in super absorbent towel.
) K# P5 y( Y4 m0 O$ u
7 E# z2 K2 Q9 [$ D6 b7 w: O3 kReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
( `. t+ n& t! } x5 j- K' J) k& A; X
! x2 p2 Y# C' ~) u3 O; ]If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Y7 \0 L7 ?) I7 u- q
7 |8 ^/ g0 e8 Y1 L! A# L% L6 _, ?7 w
* G* B. A3 Y5 g. C4 s1 ~: u% t
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: % l, f# p8 d( W9 X) u' F5 O
]( R- G6 K8 w* z( W0 JTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
4 \; }) ]( F* i+ M- x! e0 }" w- b; S) F: l, Z9 g5 |% X0 w
Walk naked to the bathroom.
+ E' F. }, i; ` t$ Q$ z& f4 P! \ {' y) L0 x+ `7 z6 E1 N K
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
. ^+ D# ?+ K% ?5 t' n
: Q0 h4 e0 m* eLook at your manly physique in the mirror. ( S. S% ^2 b4 F
! D- I* ~, P. t; ~& |3 iAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
2 @+ E% p9 P: m. ?; o
$ k; K6 k% i8 L: ~5 n3 NGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
6 o' [; q+ S8 j' Q' Q9 Y7 I) ]! \( l- ^2 p+ q _3 t8 t
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
; p* ?% }# N( @8 ]) a3 Y& Q6 P q* Z/ c+ v$ ]
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 7 d$ ?, m% Q, U1 \
0 d+ ~' r& W, X6 i5 {9 |Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
! Y/ k1 g0 B: `' y
8 t9 ]6 ?/ C/ d6 m# {- IWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
+ c& D T. ~4 V: U5 m( R1 B0 d8 T- e$ W! C- m0 G& H
Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
2 D* C7 _0 q: _, ~8 L7 x
" f4 c$ N. R! w% oPee. ) S2 z4 U3 E' w% M
8 T/ I& l9 q/ B% j! C& z* s2 o- P9 FRinse off and get out of shower. ! Y- p; @6 J% R8 W% K! ^
0 S' |5 I- U0 g- n4 K8 k) \" HPartially dry off. r0 `8 o& x% p2 }1 B& G
5 Z t+ A$ k4 i$ i* q2 }. j) U1 q9 K
Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
& c: N( d) Z: j: Y! w$ o% O& s3 C! {( W7 r- }0 r3 s+ D
Admire wiener size in mirror again.
' s! x* D3 X7 t
5 R# M& H$ b% U' ~- G) jLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
8 A" |6 a- r' H3 y" I, c! Q' c4 A+ A" J2 R5 `) K
Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. ; h; P$ h: D6 s' B
6 s& g v6 x+ r8 n
Throw wet towel on bed. % Z$ f2 F2 ^0 _) N* }: A# [
+ N4 G# p" s! C4 [, }$ qIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
|