 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
|
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
+ K0 M: |/ ?$ S% e. b/ F
/ x8 @# d" v! W( b% K6 _1 U
; q) j. h+ j! F/ O--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
0 D- [/ w) u9 w
7 T" J' C7 }' {- m- V5 d) ^
$ b( ^2 b/ `- l% ^ k* b. `4 F
: J6 g) j7 L' g5 p5 PTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
2 z1 T9 ]. A# e- v' K) B0 a% K, l; V: d7 \8 e, i( R
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
4 f/ X. l4 n$ m5 f) H. c
4 Z( w9 E- f' P8 {2 z+ T% J# xIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
; R8 J5 }0 m% K# G; U4 e% {5 o7 `
( P z; P7 f1 @Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
# S0 A; g8 f2 Mmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.& ^3 Z Y! c* j
+ A4 }. R6 l1 `- g# a/ I1 P9 kGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
: Z" {- H) H* X' J$ S6 q; }8 ?* e% k. v% K* @
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
7 h8 r) w' k" g$ a- s+ r& }# w) q7 R3 v8 u/ N F- F
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
) t3 z- }! o# N$ M6 F& m
5 u. E* k% v/ l; F) m* K* O& _2 JCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..2 g5 c% H2 } t: t
$ x1 v( u& o, T* C+ h0 W l) i) NWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
5 i1 Y" h; d( C4 g+ t( H
. b; o1 @" I$ g8 k# J v$ ]5 U. x6 zWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
9 z, F0 K$ i0 t# l
3 Z5 u8 J- j; VRinse conditioner off hair.' u' r2 d: A- v" l1 J
% b4 w# m% k# {* G, @5 `Shave armpits and legs.
3 V0 ]% h, R7 \; S
& y9 t" M0 a- R* BTurn off shower.! E+ f8 c* G! k, I9 n
g* B5 X/ p) {3 `Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.+ n" K- X5 [" E) h+ v
! b' |/ |& A, M! ~
Spray mold spots with Tilex. 9 v3 |% ?6 |9 z! O5 @: o1 C, q G. n
2 t% f$ d; U9 o8 A) ]* K1 L3 eGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. 5 o i& G& A: n/ _* Q1 K
0 P- U' j' T5 Q" lWrap hair in super absorbent towel.
8 `; Y: O, |# `% v" J! m% m
4 I/ G0 J+ @$ `% d2 N' JReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. ' i7 \7 b- D8 s) X t
' e) ^' ?; G( a5 _7 _3 w* bIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
7 Q; g1 _+ M: n( \0 Y* W5 M; G
* a l3 T' k, z1 V+ N
6 S* d1 q( H7 t3 v9 o* X1 oHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: ' c6 ?- w5 P1 C: |& `
6 u- P2 ~3 i0 v2 ?6 E* e' W/ \: M
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
) w8 e4 R- t) ?0 L3 u; y1 I0 s _# Y: y% T) D
Walk naked to the bathroom.1 Z: }# j6 J p) Q/ y
A4 l% y3 `3 m/ s5 FIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
+ ~! w4 k' n3 B9 O0 F! N- t4 W- ]7 h% Q$ L" o" b( v/ P
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
* r; Z. [# R* \9 t4 I) B/ Z( ^9 {3 B5 e' f W+ }
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. 7 x0 k% a B- \4 j1 w
: [. t* T$ ~! u$ ? C/ \; J% n- U: w% vGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
" k3 u6 \3 |( @- a9 M5 n# r; P
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
1 Z3 P/ I3 M% r, @" j4 z
& c& @; |5 W- x$ f( ]) TFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. / }1 `4 d1 ?+ }- [
5 K4 U9 r4 I3 L. [4 B5 Z3 [
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 2 `- Y8 Z8 s- c/ b, V
6 V9 E0 ~6 {, Q Q7 A; e2 l
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. / Z6 z4 x* o; V+ {1 H% @
1 `& N% v- C7 O8 T9 B, e, tWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
) Z2 R* w/ D) S' K3 K) {! @: T% C6 l- M' z6 l& O6 D
Pee.
' x6 K6 ?; W; W
7 _- n2 _. i1 ~0 P! j" r1 K* j- tRinse off and get out of shower. / `; l) N) ?5 ?% f+ [
) R7 c, L& q: ] c# T. W; t q$ nPartially dry off.
% M; ]/ |. F4 i) r1 K! b% I2 O- c" Q6 G1 K0 J) y5 P* G9 S
Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
$ R4 B' q2 E. J" l4 u! g9 U; U) j$ n( P" V- Z! s
Admire wiener size in mirror again.
4 Z6 n! ]) m# m" z2 n( L
0 I J) P* A) n* W T' }Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
0 x N' o `/ x1 U o4 D
9 |5 Y/ j; b8 Q$ cReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. 1 `& n0 k/ G5 q9 l- R# f
: V' f P1 Y. c7 S- `9 jThrow wet towel on bed. , q4 c [& ?) u- K4 E. U$ x2 I
' ~; V; h# D/ ~9 T- r; r& `If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
|