 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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; w- t6 k. h( Q ]! y* b, S# pWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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" O2 h5 N6 z8 B' o" t) `6 ]! q! cIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas./ k0 I: S) s; X0 g: M0 S. _
6 S" _6 N& U* u6 @4 ALook at your womanly physique in the mirror -- 2 v/ o1 G6 c L/ s6 s0 x# H
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. ' r5 D( x2 [/ }2 {0 U
0 j7 M7 L. d- e m# JWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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( f5 R% m6 J4 ~: Q- b. dRinse conditioner off hair.# n( q- |+ R) d* ~) w
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Shave armpits and legs.! Y% a' U" x3 s3 M- j
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Turn off shower. L8 h' r4 T+ E3 a" [2 \' s
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.+ ?5 h" L, z) X
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. $ W* p1 ~: R; X% `& x v1 d
O# N: g( J0 M, } u4 L( Y" e0 rWrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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}0 D% b& b x. nReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. : [- k2 r6 X& F+ E7 h. m" Z
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. / Q# H2 Y& S0 n' a, j
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: ( C! p# F$ e5 k5 m- o0 {# i
. c' O# M3 g. bTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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% f0 x$ |1 ~; F6 k: ?Walk naked to the bathroom.# U) a5 c4 }- k; F1 {
% O+ W9 l8 Y, O) \4 F- p7 @8 pIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror. & i8 C: e2 \* @0 C! b* x
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. g& L( O' {( H8 ~0 B/ r2 x
' N. A( m6 i; J. ~2 eGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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' v# z2 c) A" |- d* P( B, }Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. 0 m m& m3 x* w+ V+ f/ {' K# y [. _
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. . c) U3 {2 y- ^+ I- Z& i8 A8 V
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 0 @# q/ H. \" z; r
8 V6 p9 \; a' X# l. }Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. $ i# X2 @: v4 u/ @1 r
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. 5 {5 J7 B9 Y5 k5 D5 l
$ h+ B: p% f1 G& F$ _" _8 H0 H; kPee.
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7 ] |# }& @0 G' K- {( BRinse off and get out of shower. . y4 ?9 }/ ?, I5 c5 S9 U
- V& y6 q" }! N6 bPartially dry off.9 ]' I3 i2 k7 _. S7 j. g3 A) M
6 k% Z2 ?- m7 M% j* l. SFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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, ]: h& U- v+ d# ?Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. % J: Q; d# y1 B E$ d# g2 V
+ I5 Y6 A. @# b9 e% z( \' @Throw wet towel on bed.
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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