 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : i" j, C2 H* G4 n
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.( P& }0 A6 |' @5 t' q: J" h
* R+ D9 p: m1 }* }. lWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.9 z+ M+ ~. i/ |8 {" V
6 i8 Q# f+ S8 K% t9 B; _& ^Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- ! p6 v* R" V& U- K
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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. Q. q6 E) }4 g5 n5 N- r3 [: SGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 4 S1 L% p& M( N8 A4 S
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..; s$ w, c+ @3 j9 `( T# {
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. " H- ?' o" M0 O; Q5 i- O
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 8 m! l" M/ l, u8 m( M. L
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Rinse conditioner off hair.
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. J+ t& Q: [4 j4 v( XShave armpits and legs.: p9 `" B+ `& p$ X& W( G# C
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Turn off shower.) E$ I# T! _ D
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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9 o' F: ~4 E' S5 ^5 T& ^: JSpray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. 0 t; e+ ^) |' @( \0 R
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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( `- `9 W; {1 k) RIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. $ E6 c9 P: M \8 c& b
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& f! G3 ^* F& A2 M8 VHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: ' J' k; |6 S2 P$ J/ n
+ |% K0 {" T2 A3 |: i" z1 @Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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! D; ^ @# }1 a- t' M4 jWalk naked to the bathroom.
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( L; s1 X2 A4 g" kIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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& C! O$ s! P+ ^7 l" X1 e% K0 bLook at your manly physique in the mirror. / _# W! k. ?$ ~4 b' N9 G) P
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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: N/ o& c. q- J6 tGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 7 K5 s9 a) p4 k7 t
8 _7 U. w7 c! j0 d1 R, }% l* yBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. $ e8 t* H/ }2 X( g6 V3 v- |' M! ~
( D4 _/ e4 O, _& yFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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2 S% J4 Q1 T! l( x2 P- V. v' ^Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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/ V/ J' x7 R8 K- s$ X3 w5 o4 SWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Pee. " }0 l" Y2 _' C- S" ^
5 E* E: E* I6 {9 D2 W$ ZRinse off and get out of shower. u8 K6 k: j# U& @+ F9 C
" E( w: F. x/ m! w; LPartially dry off.3 K3 b' E' A7 ]) x7 @1 j) P$ Z3 m
, B8 y5 n& E4 C2 AFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 1 i3 W. b$ Q( b2 u$ u
0 t; ?+ g. ~$ D8 a" [% o3 K$ o- C3 `# ]" ZReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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$ B; Z2 a7 r; f6 n0 r j1 Y, b1 l) {Throw wet towel on bed.
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* h2 A5 U6 K3 r# ^, r6 O+ U5 U4 n) fIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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