 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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+ L: x# C, K0 T, n! i7 D; OTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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& B6 M' Y+ Z' u2 Q" ^. @; k4 ZWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- . w' N, ]/ P% \1 @# e3 ]0 ~
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.$ l0 q5 e$ w! c& C) G5 y! l+ x
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 0 L9 T6 s' `) _8 G; p# h% o
' l- N, J$ p- b1 m6 D0 W2 U; sWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 0 m7 E* X' l9 T0 S; }
2 S9 @& h. k/ b7 p5 d8 H' {Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..* P9 @. q0 a( @* K$ O
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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6 L }% v3 U! d4 K Y( Q8 J+ mWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. ! n/ F l5 ]& o! k
6 u6 L+ y7 E# l+ {+ z5 x1 XRinse conditioner off hair.& s9 ~$ V: q* |6 M( X! V
1 M$ X, X& N# xShave armpits and legs.' O; I9 m* g2 m( E/ D" }
! C" A( u# I* L2 ~! G- g4 P+ DTurn off shower.
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) I6 @) H- ^/ w" rSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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Spray mold spots with Tilex. / M6 ?0 i, n( ~# Q% |' O1 K
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. 5 P' U* Z8 `# s' V( Z2 X3 D
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. ' S: h1 d8 ]5 e1 u7 T
6 F5 h" C6 {3 X; ?If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. / N$ X7 _ H5 f! o2 | z) U) n
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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/ c2 v# ?4 I1 {6 X" e# P. vTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. . N5 R6 R& E& Q+ K3 N) a# f" \
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Walk naked to the bathroom.4 H8 n: k5 z+ r* k/ @
! e+ v0 l" i8 m4 P+ ]If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. 4 |1 r1 F- g2 O$ H8 @! e& f# I. Z
E1 S" |/ N* d* f! c( ^Look at your manly physique in the mirror. * Z6 d s. u* {9 e
( c4 u/ [$ A8 G+ [( W5 OAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. + C5 ] M* O" ^) C( Q) K7 G6 n6 {" z- g, m
1 Z* f( o. |" ?" p4 f: {Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 2 U4 c0 H2 l7 x1 i
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. . }( U& C7 c i. I) j; x
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. : Q3 T; l# T: M$ V7 y) j0 v
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. 2 N5 M5 T+ S/ }. g7 T
+ b3 e- A3 I" FWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. $ x5 M; z: H" O4 d: |
3 @& |" s w$ ]. e( G K1 U! l' qPee. 5 a8 l7 s+ s2 V/ r5 M
+ k: R: D1 A0 p1 x n( nRinse off and get out of shower.
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Partially dry off.
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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+ u9 U) \& R& l' E+ P2 s' aAdmire wiener size in mirror again. 3 ~/ E! Y4 S0 @+ Z
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. x" Q0 ]; }# ?: U5 a
' m9 q' T) e( V4 OThrow wet towel on bed.
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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