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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new ; O" T6 E% _$ L8 A
BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a
# s3 l# p2 E2 N6 hBroni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window + R8 u9 E) g# j  `. [5 g) A+ E
and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your
; b. m( P3 z3 [' \7 Cflock, will you give me one?"7 m2 H+ |! E& ^9 A
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The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his 9 w" x3 ~2 J8 E1 h! Y
peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."  T, `: j( L' P% R- t2 `
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The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a 6 G' \0 D8 x. w) ~
cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a
, ~' Z* P$ A5 k9 r7 L% A3 O8 y3 `GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database
4 }( H7 o6 U2 D, C# iand an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his . B8 J: G/ X# ~# I" R8 K$ X
Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out
0 ]; u1 M6 U9 X9 Q2 Q& |, `/ ~9 ^a 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and
, b# K4 O* M+ y/ msays,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".2 q3 u5 ^3 @4 o7 T' Z% m5 H# r( G+ @

2 k6 ?' i# }( E# n"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd.
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He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his
/ @9 s* C( r' h. C& H5 |2 c+ a& Dcar.
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Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business 5 F- l. S! t& ^2 D: q8 i3 ^* p  n
is, will you give me back my animal?": \( ~7 @; R# w2 f- P0 k4 ]$ K
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"OK, why not" answered the young man.# s$ Q1 S' A/ O3 H/ V* F) G6 u

  ?& S( H% f0 A( z"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd.
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"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
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, d. q& Y& I/ ]' ]& H0 N% E1 k"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although
0 ]# c; L% C& u4 ~2 @0 j$ j: n4 tnobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a
: }' |: k" |% L1 ?question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give $ _6 W' B2 U6 X5 u% Q
me back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is
5 v2 g" n0 E* @2 }undone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open". ; a1 ^" e. l0 e2 \# t  P5 q
Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few 3 x4 r8 t; Y( g& N8 x
moments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper
& N. Z! M% e7 `. Awas undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran
. o7 O3 [$ ~, R- @& ~into the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into - M, F3 D9 Q: c( d( Z
her unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was
0 r; v, q9 l6 o) `7 b( t, ?open, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman
4 q1 q! m/ ^7 kresponded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle
2 f& ^  B7 N2 X4 _& B* Cbags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons, ' N: S$ ~' l1 O2 s9 l0 M# t7 n
where they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy.
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The first man married a nurse. 2 Y4 g& K' D$ }3 d9 V

+ c* a; ~$ y& n. A& i6 pDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy.
$ Q; ?+ I1 ?: a; KNurses are known to be hot to trot".2 S: g9 Z% \5 Q9 a
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The second man married a telephone operator.
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one.
6 ^& f9 R3 M% v# d! CTelephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top
- q! b' [( d7 i! |: W% Wbutton...A-bomb.?; \* U: Q4 e. t% z7 d
) Y0 Y/ D8 T3 p" R! j2 \
The third man married a school teacher. 5 c" _8 Y6 I0 B+ U4 Q, o

8 D  s2 b7 S& }- j  ^Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty $ j. k$ J: p1 ~. J& ~+ G
but teachers are just too frigid".
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The next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected
, I8 ~1 W% c; b1 r3 K8 b! H* x" Y" Sonly the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two
7 N* X, a$ v( G+ z6 s+ w# nwould call much later in the day.
2 R+ v! c( K7 c# V+ d9 x3 f& v( [3 l! P" L, [- ?# e+ z5 v
At 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The
/ M" a" L4 I3 m. ~2 N9 q* I  P) Cnurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's 0 B6 D5 Z9 l1 X" }1 S! O
pajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed. # K  T2 L- I9 z! g4 H8 P. ?( }$ }
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Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.- y1 O" h& i/ y+ v; A/ n. j  T+ c: J
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The man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night
0 f4 {  X4 v0 o, W7 U1 fwas her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."% h$ Q: K5 c) r  g

5 z# w. X- S: j. M& ~! \. gAt 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.# e9 z% f8 j( Q# r) M+ t

( Y! [/ Y, z3 j7 c" B- |8 D2 qThe telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast
/ B8 s! k1 n9 d' f) M/ Tas possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back
$ I) A. y: {' N# qin shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.
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Dave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as 1 \+ Y, n) m# L3 b
their voices."
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- D- h# C, H$ U, hThe man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I
+ P4 I( ^7 |! o; Sheard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your 1 Z+ m8 y' _0 {; ^
three minutes are up."
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' O' B; e0 d1 H9 A* Y1 j- y# \. ZDave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be
! J# o2 L. A) ]. t. J  [calling any minute.
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5 Q7 v& _# h, i: BFinally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.. B6 P0 [  k2 i4 V4 A7 g, s

% A8 Z7 V: b6 {5 x2 cDave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The 0 z# N& m' y" H0 ]7 y
man opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only
0 A( W! P/ A! t" _$ C6 k4 hhis boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and . H: q& n5 W: e, s0 ?# M: f
legs., Z  m% E( c% }) ?0 C
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Joe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a ! C+ L$ }" W6 X6 `# \
fight?" ( `6 t$ i3 U9 O3 u: G. G1 H

5 ^1 H$ I% F2 ~8 K; A: QThe man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry ; ?; h  M* z0 C0 n1 a
a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We % {" C- f" w% F
are going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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