Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
  W& k2 A5 Z, }# D& ~$ cDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
  m. r  I3 B. P- b  x' |Long term, team players needed for challenging,

# W9 I& L8 ^2 ~* mpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
+ Y4 U5 ^0 E/ W! U" w6 DCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
* K. h- Q/ z* S0 vand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
: X2 j4 E$ `. G1 U/ P3 JTravel expenses not reimbursed.
3 W& W2 ]+ x5 M8 Q* L3 zExtensive courier duties also required.
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" a% X8 ~! e1 ~7 l7 k, V9 dRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
6 C' D* I, U; w9 O% G$ tMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
7 H; ]. B; X" X( Y9 _( ZMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
1 P) m0 R3 l  ~9 a! ^, SAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
4 s0 k+ u5 M9 Y6 O0 t# G  athe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
5 C) j/ }& }. f& }0 k$ T( FMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
+ ~! Y; x, U. |! C6 E, d9 ]0 rMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
$ O1 v3 m) H+ aMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
+ Q* I$ `3 x! bMust assume final, complete accountability for
3 R- `; V0 ~& w7 Z& Nthe quality of the end product.
4 }0 P* p" s* K/ IResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
% Z8 h4 ^% F% e4 w* J4 B5 hjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

. c! M$ a( m+ F' S5 R+ |POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
; {6 ?* y) w2 N' f$ ?2 d6 wNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
, T! v1 h& e$ \without complaining,constantly retraining and
& J  P3 X: }4 h& |updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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: W) ~4 _; U; Y8 K) L: ]6 VPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
* R4 R% N" t" r  O+ J4 dGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
# f1 E) X0 _. Z/ L) X2 ba balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
) E2 W$ Z' j0 T& ]0 vof the assumption that college will help them
- L, T' H+ ?1 b4 ibecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
9 E* E0 M9 G: S4 syou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
1 A3 S! U  ~+ i. yno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

! ]$ N8 q4 W1 v1 C* v7 U7 Tunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

. I5 a/ ^! J' X7 r" L  C1 cfor life if you play your cards right.

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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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8 e4 k& V9 {0 ]# P& J% rForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
0 n; u" Q) u0 ?; jto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.