Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


9 p$ O2 x% m, g& U/ {JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
& w- v1 R( b# x1 e% I
1 x/ U) P8 y% tpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
7 Z. f+ q$ @8 [6 O% T9 J4 ^Candidates must possess excellent communication
4 j, |& M4 V1 \' S; ?and organizational skills and be willing to work
$ O$ E6 S, T- N: o1 B4 dvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
* q/ M) h  z! l$ g) T* e, e2 tSome overnight travel required, including trips to
0 ~5 K& i: T' e$ e/ Bprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
) Q: m3 ?5 `1 dTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
) \# ~, W+ K6 g4 x( b+ c/ WThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
6 r9 B% j5 P) \! b( z( c  Auntil someone needs $5.
; w' T, e3 a% Z# XMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
  y+ |% s) y  v6 O/ U; n% jand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
' I" X6 s# e& i+ y3 a1 ein case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
1 \8 |8 u" P" P$ W: z! Ksuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
" z5 J8 b0 _0 P, W( f1 W4 H' Xand stuck zippers.
( r. g- r, c4 R0 DMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
2 o, h; A; p* ncoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
8 C0 E4 i% L6 E/ p/ D& OMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
: i% n% K$ W; U) ~  Z9 Oan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
! [6 \4 q) m7 G# V) H- N8 Ehalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
' P. C" Y3 l2 O+ s/ RMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
" _1 S) ]1 Q$ |Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
8 I/ h& k+ I9 k8 z) d7 b$ \Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
9 n4 I2 |5 `3 L- P0 s9 ^7 Gjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
+ n% d$ X/ b  V0 K' P# Bwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
0 r  U: E9 o$ U& x% y7 P+ Jupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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$ _) _6 f, L, `9 v$ x. }2 S$ GPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
7 Z8 q* ^  [) A- W4 c# k) mNone required, unfortunately.
; T4 |0 K3 @$ O8 n! HOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
2 y5 M' `, h* X+ w+ C  k% E- p5 GGet this! You pay them!
1 {" o5 L7 {; L/ q! zOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
1 Y7 |" T3 T3 }, u: T# zof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
5 X" ]7 D- k; j/ VWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
* W8 K( f5 G) U7 UThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
$ a6 e$ V" D6 yWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
9 s& A  M7 e# I& z$ Hno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
- l# w8 [8 {$ _! b- a" u
" A; K" v+ c& W  E; n5 y* c" z$ [unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
, s* X" l0 R1 c2 g
. x9 {  J3 v0 B/ {6 ?/ }: ufor life if you play your cards right.

/ S$ T8 L4 L3 y$ B+ g! x; r$ V- j& l

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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
6 V, X0 |; R) ]  g7 [" Z! q* l0 Q/ U! dletting them know they are appreciated
* w" D8 |1 O& H# dfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

- A+ \7 I- N8 A+ _

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.