Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
0 k+ ]- k$ l( x. O: p8 T& zDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


  S+ [9 o& Z/ A/ j6 WJOB DESCRIPTION:
1 M- W8 \: j, \7 aLong term, team players needed for challenging,
" M! d; K" d. q. e/ }; F. G, i
permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
" P- ^/ I, N  W: k3 m4 C( o$ ovariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
& H3 L! r! [  @# B5 w" w! g! Eand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
! L0 W- F5 i& }. U2 Yendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
, e+ J: h; T: _" W* j% OTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
7 E4 |; |6 L4 Z/ [& W" R
$ ?+ s. _) @6 v. H# dRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
  z" v0 l+ l  e4 w  b3 [Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
: R5 O5 q& j1 S6 O% x4 ]0 RMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
; O: R5 `4 Y( F% T, E0 f& ^Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
* l$ D$ C& j9 `* t: H& k& [, Z; ?3 Fin case, this time, the screams from
/ U5 s: g6 c4 f4 `2 |% }9 o" q& uthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
: D: F7 |( W6 x& P) zand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
& i8 s) _) O; m+ l9 FMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
9 n' N8 x; n8 b9 K5 KMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
8 F& l5 u5 s2 X2 A0 {/ whalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
/ q  M& A# A' {+ R+ x' g* |. jMust assume final, complete accountability for
- `% N* M. l, g4 Y% l  zthe quality of the end product.
' s6 A4 t# x8 P) |Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
3 B% q2 \+ K, X+ S. wjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

5 @- }! e. \, T, \0 ^9 u/ OPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
# W# O+ X8 S! g8 bNone.
2 f  a: i) H: t, lYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
' ?# X5 V8 N9 X9 i/ i, swithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

  N3 T* X6 u/ n2 T7 d4 u
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
8 q& \) w2 a, p- T& M- ]On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
- I3 T" N, R6 E* ^6 N' O) uGet this! You pay them!
; a! Z; K" q9 E* N$ \+ ^) H* B  NOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
; n! y7 ]  R2 K7 E) ea balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
! Q. t0 ^; I/ e  o3 O4 yThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
2 z6 j! ]9 N, {# B5 [' D% oyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

! s& E0 F+ A* z, Q$ u# uBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
# m" Z9 }5 ~0 Sno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
: @4 l9 o$ n. ?( F& F5 gthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
3 a8 c9 i7 e0 S
: d) v, E' W  r3 Tunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

- M& _! |3 C6 i8 P( C4 xfor life if you play your cards right.

9 R4 z7 ?7 |, F: t( P  f
' Q+ W/ F, g# m8 @  L$ D

, R4 X" _) l" h# `$ r; Q** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
! q- {" e% w; F# s1 O

! g3 ?2 _& X: S" `% k8 d2 R3 F
% F( [4 c' R7 E  y- ?1 O/ KForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
5 y, \8 i7 a+ r/ uletting them know they are appreciated
3 w2 j. g$ w+ j, \' Jfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
  I2 i7 ^; c& ato anyone thinking of applying for the job.

3 v; n* G" H4 d. d0 X2 \

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.