Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
% D) R5 C1 A' JMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
4 r/ U( \2 A3 r) ?6 \1 V8 b2 {

JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
3 h- A% _: [9 Y  R  p
permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
1 {% |4 F5 S- M3 eCandidates must possess excellent communication
" f* @  |; R! s2 m) vand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
9 b! X0 f- @6 u5 k& ~& A! zendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
) n) o$ F( G! I, E3 ETravel expenses not reimbursed.
  O3 V. f! r2 RExtensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
6 W* t7 y) C1 a" xMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
& w% c- f6 Y0 Z" F0 K1 zand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
" B  H- F; A5 R" V7 I  Y; Ain case, this time, the screams from
2 l6 w% a" s- |- H. Dthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
8 D! C# A! S  b9 K3 W6 Vand stuck zippers.
' Z# |; j5 _' ?' ?Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
2 N& X. B( \/ g; S8 `4 IMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
- x; g8 S4 |) N$ d: kan embarrassment the next.
. v% \. b, y! h1 \* D0 |Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
/ C* e$ J( ~" H6 w3 {9 Ahalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
" n$ b' t. G* N/ @+ RMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
7 e" H% R" z6 @: P# |* g8 OMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
: }) B( M, @( a4 C& gResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
7 Y  W, V6 l5 T( |janitorial work  throughout the facility.
, Y2 q' {( z. |- ^! T+ K( m- N
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
2 w$ |% W3 d' L: g" ?& S# _Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
1 h' q& P+ j( ~( m; i8 hwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

* p+ M: l1 Z1 R: c* V% w
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
* Y, w9 e. J! B* l8 a4 bOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
% ?! t9 J( I7 O0 P9 _a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
1 M! M5 e0 P5 ]! m! q; pof the assumption that college will help them
3 b+ R, T. p. Y3 C& ]become financially independent.
5 G" d6 G4 J# O6 A$ F% n8 j" fWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
) A$ c4 y1 g% P9 t* y1 F: q
BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
  p/ v& c% I8 s2 y# }) t2 }no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
9 g( Z; {1 c1 O/ Y& A6 l
6 c/ M7 _2 k3 M$ ^unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

2 `  g' v. e4 afor life if you play your cards right.

9 C0 `/ u. u) |
4 Q, d) x: U- G- @5 h* U9 `
$ i2 S2 c5 j. a# p4 l5 Q& q) Z
) g* N" ~# ^! r4 U' r& U; c5 P, H) Q** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
8 h7 `9 ^3 n; y8 f

; a8 j) S1 g' ]$ @7 [) B
9 n% q: M. p- e% Y6 X0 V& G8 ?# a+ q5 LForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
! ^% Q# E1 |, u! S: r, hfor the fabulous job they do...
& [% x% L, W% X! p6 S9 ror forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
9 x+ n; n$ P7 i6 C0 b$ r6 Q% K
; |5 k; z: c' o- d0 e1 C5 `

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.