Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
0 Y) ?5 B! h5 ^4 K5 C2 V# ?4 S0 iDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

# h: F, I8 p3 ~# c( M- [permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
$ b$ J7 U( B* K3 n9 U" aand organizational skills and be willing to work
+ i6 ^* J+ W  tvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
+ `8 `( d# |/ V) P  xendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
( c( {/ {! E5 F" g  g* LExtensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
# J% F2 O# e' |0 e2 Zuntil someone needs $5.
( K- a8 j9 ^) i/ a$ w0 ZMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
% [0 _  [3 I  f1 o0 X6 l9 W# tand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
0 W+ J* l9 i  y/ nin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
8 A, }3 u; n! x/ l" W4 _/ p( rand stuck zippers.
' f) _7 x; ^/ w. W7 V) e/ T' R* R- BMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
/ t; a6 [8 `8 |; DMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
6 p. ]+ L8 _2 ]# Z" T( yan embarrassment the next.
1 K# A: P5 ?0 HMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
% j7 k$ c6 X! ]% W$ W6 Y# phalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
8 P# Z: G3 q2 ~8 }2 p2 C$ qMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
5 q5 h- x) n/ M0 GMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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, U; c9 F+ o  [8 f/ FPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
( U- J. j, R# }3 |7 n  `None.
0 @* \* b3 `* ?4 H- C! E/ y8 iYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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4 w% B" g% G! iPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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4 N2 V# n& c+ ^. G2 k( xWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
& @! m6 V2 k/ i  G# I# hGet this! You pay them!
& u3 D! @. k( C! L" BOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
+ H& i2 _4 S' U4 `( h* Gof the assumption that college will help them
5 a9 B8 X2 l4 V5 s% o+ W0 S. W! @7 Jbecome financially independent.
0 l* T/ e. |0 qWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
! K8 Q! v  `) t2 k1 J6 KThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
7 J. S0 v2 j) C) ?& T+ Ryou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

0 Y( F+ r& r$ w$ [+ j2 ABENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
$ w* p; l+ G3 T0 f6 \% v1 T3 dno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
3 Z" G2 W, [- f2 B0 {' C) Y+ tthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

1 g3 {! ]9 J! H+ I0 K$ {unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

2 _1 V! G$ b1 r& p0 L8 bfor life if you play your cards right.
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& Y0 J* |# O) V** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
: T" ?- T7 L8 q. v: tor forward with love
9 i) [) r9 V! m4 X, J/ }to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.