 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.+ O9 C2 D7 I" }& ]
3 L! Z+ i9 _% @% mI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.+ l; { k* g- e: t% D* G
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"4 k: F8 {# h5 ?( o
: V' k: N# s! s9 n" w; T) W( CI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?" [1 R1 T) c9 H, u6 w5 A
( X3 d. e$ U" c0 S- M N2 O/ ]I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?3 m A* M" K# N0 `% M% r. |; {
& q( y- z* E$ q( [6 ?"What is Roe vs. Wade?"( h% R9 k; A' j- }
) C) n3 G3 h' k1 L3 }* nI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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* W A0 Q. }( Y) K5 C# v w" }I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!! c6 D0 D6 y5 B0 t" y6 g* j/ F
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen.", z' a9 v8 r; W9 f2 n8 ?: `
/ [# Y5 t2 m( C$ w mSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"3 F) k/ [% _0 g
9 G* x8 ]1 y% u9 ]Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”" ?4 n/ k5 `0 Z" F0 ^: I; l
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.2 A4 ~2 O0 Q% r7 a3 R& P; D
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Thank you very much! M& Z: Q5 Y# U5 v; i; R
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+ l: O' q3 S. [/ J# I* A; ^Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:" y/ J. i6 P$ } e9 c* \3 D) H+ f
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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% Z H2 p/ a& |. u: h& ~2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.2 C1 b4 a# ^1 s' w
6 ]" o7 M: _: t& H0 Y; lJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.; w1 a: U: T! E7 u) ~$ R6 [. k
( S9 ?% x8 O FThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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