 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.& X+ ]+ g, |: ~" R0 k
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.# N- d4 R! C! }' V
! P6 N% `! Q& Y, n1 Q* h( p, e0 zI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:+ q a; u1 I2 j6 c3 V" j6 V
7 S' }& Q5 |& V: ?"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?# ?/ @3 A( `0 X- u. V
' s! u' m6 m' z% LAnd the second one was:/ }( g/ x/ Y& z! u5 v; Y0 ?4 a3 d
, u, Y. \$ Q+ _1 H"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"9 k `8 r+ h" y1 \* o) k' P* a$ F5 a3 t
& K1 [0 ?# Y* V; ]: CI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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) t% o j2 Q7 ^/ ]I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."& C' F$ g0 N& j- w9 h
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"1 d1 v* F2 v$ b7 n7 _* a
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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- l0 O, T: O3 F. cThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore./ C, P P. ~" ^9 _
0 M7 e/ a) h2 j, x; n* ^$ W# r' _ o* |Thank you very much!% q6 w8 l9 M4 ]( b) t8 j0 z
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' m1 }. G; P3 @7 L( p+ EImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:* R% ^1 o5 d: L7 U' w% s$ ?) ]8 `5 z
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.8 X( X* O" b# a6 |9 z# W1 S
3 Y P# G2 I% V2 T% ?"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".3 W0 p) m! T1 s, |" V
; F% ?. p3 v6 h9 qRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.( W0 ^3 J( t5 u$ |" z- K# U0 t
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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