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黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

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鲜花(19) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.& X+ ]+ g, |: ~" R0 k
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.# N- d4 R! C! }' V

! P6 N% `! Q& Y, n1 Q* h( p, e0 zI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:+ q  a; u1 I2 j6 c3 V" j6 V

7 S' }& Q5 |& V: ?"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?# ?/ @3 A( `0 X- u. V

' s! u' m6 m' z% LAnd the second one was:/ }( g/ x/ Y& z! u5 v; Y0 ?4 a3 d

, u, Y. \$ Q+ _1 H"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"9 k  `8 r+ h" y1 \* o) k' P* a$ F5 a3 t

& K1 [0 ?# Y* V; ]: CI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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) t% o  j2 Q7 ^/ ]I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."& C' F$ g0 N& j- w9 h
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"1 d1 v* F2 v$ b7 n7 _* a
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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- l0 O, T: O3 F. cThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore./ C, P  P. ~" ^9 _

0 M7 e/ a) h2 j, x; n* ^$ W# r' _  o* |Thank you very much!% q6 w8 l9 M4 ]( b) t8 j0 z

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' m1 }. G; P3 @7 L( p+ EImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:* R% ^1 o5 d: L7 U' w% s$ ?) ]8 `5 z
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.8 X( X* O" b# a6 |9 z# W1 S

3 Y  P# G2 I% V2 T% ?"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".3 W0 p) m! T1 s, |" V

; F% ?. p3 v6 h9 qRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.( W0 ^3 J( t5 u$ |" z- K# U0 t
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39 | 显示全部楼层
the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means:
5 c0 O( n8 d1 B& m# ha young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子(尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的).
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-5 22:28 | 显示全部楼层
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-6 06:55 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
大型搬家
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 08:35 | 显示全部楼层
this guy is really cool.
理袁律师事务所
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:12 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
. m' t1 I3 k7 O; {! E$ x% L5 `+ |怎么理解?
* f5 s3 X2 H6 B# E& s50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
6# cyz0116
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6 g  i& s* z3 I5 [4 s; w不离婚,白头到老
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 10:33 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。' i* ^( O8 `1 Z6 r+ `
怎么理解?8 b: u% _, z7 j0 V8 h* O
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
, a  y: b3 {  r+ Scyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12

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. y; y$ l) _) B; y: ^/ C. S我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高,(因为他害怕婚姻)可能他离不了婚吧。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 11:37 | 显示全部楼层
8# 朝阳
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$ i7 {  A; P, h我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-7 19:59 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看,觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了,好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲,不一定是梦想,却有可能是噩梦
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 12:12 | 显示全部楼层
表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的,越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。
鲜花(22) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 21:06 | 显示全部楼层
东瞅瞅,西侃侃.
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