 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.6 J% F' I7 r( x- ^
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.0 Q9 z" Q5 E9 F, T
% T. r) k7 D" c9 ZI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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7 K. k6 @5 \7 P5 H w6 f7 |! iI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"2 B" z% t- x; L N0 f- @
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?2 [* J3 Y5 R* Y4 }8 D
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And the second one was:
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2 u: @( I! n8 x8 ~5 K1 J"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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6 Q% O2 _/ F+ {I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"- m% K+ ]' T7 X- y; w; f! p# ]
# K: ]) @( A f8 ~2 ZI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?+ e& L8 S3 H7 K, A* p! j0 [9 g
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!$ i& d* C0 G" L2 e B- V
( n1 B z$ S+ rI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen.". k/ V0 _. i _8 |! X( H
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"( x% e3 v- p+ o
3 B) G* P" T* ?; WNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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7 v- j$ s+ I' w: @This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much!
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# D7 U/ [+ m' m9 y7 O6 Z3 O0 ^Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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. p' m: R4 d4 r1 Q2 W3 d1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.5 L6 m& [* _5 Q% I
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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+ T% |% W/ n o0 m) [Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".4 _ Z8 y0 t5 m9 A% ]& _
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.* o/ ?% b E) p1 u
( D/ R9 D3 [2 I% O3 x; ]The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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