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The Washington Post publishes a yearly contest in which readers are asked to invent alternate meanings for various words. ) ?% V/ {7 q+ `/ m3 L& T
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The following were some of this year’s winning entries: 0 }* ]- h" T3 r
K/ E* }8 f5 @9 Y5 L. q& p1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.
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2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have . ( @- J1 Z6 R$ }1 V- o. T9 w2 t3 Z
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3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
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& w( Z! b8 \/ D- [; @( w: G4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
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: f s! V$ _! U( X" g0 ?5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent
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+ f; W4 V$ A. {6 x- a& S6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie. 2 V% c0 h) |4 u/ }4 C* S% B
, o* k2 }$ P# S/ t+ L6 M) g8 y7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp. / G8 s" _# o" U9 t) W8 n, M' Q+ x
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8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavoured mouthwash. / k8 j) w- V9 L' {
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9. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller. ) o8 B/ O4 w. r, s* {/ y) _9 k
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10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline. . y2 a7 o5 _! R8 v, k9 t& v# R1 T# a
# m1 B% g7 A' _" e; ]11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
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3 Z6 X- b2 {. b, s) x12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanour assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you. . e+ }' X) d, x' B3 }# l& j5 v
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13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions. - F8 B( P* Q- X6 B4 h
" j3 u7 w+ E6 `! p' ^" ^6 O14. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.
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15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there. ! O$ s% K( E" ?. m2 I# D% N( q) q
1 e2 \8 n' E2 T2 n* V% i16. Pokemon (n.), A Jamaican proctologist. |
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