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Tiger s Holiday Poem
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Twas the night of Thanksgiving and out of the house
' \" u0 ?/ y. jTiger Woods came a flyin', chased by his spouse.
. @# y& u2 ]! h; R! aShe wielded a nine iron and wasn't too merry,8 W' x& I& D: V% G1 X" j$ `0 m" r
Cause a bimbo’s phone number was in his Blackberry." ], d( q( ?* z/ }6 A- V+ N
He’d been cheatin' on Elin, and the story progressed.
: p+ l8 d: y4 V" R, p. j" e/ oWoman after woman stepped up and confessed./ \8 ?7 @- [; q) d- u# H3 j) f
He’d been cheatin’ with Holly, and Jaimee, and Cori,# B8 R+ t" G$ ]8 N& ]* u
With Joselyn, and Kalika. The world had the story.
* v% ]# ^; N8 z$ LFrom the top of the Tour to the basement of blues,
9 o9 J7 |7 r: d5 eTiger’s sad sordid tale was all over the news.
% T% ~7 ^* F; c% q- vWith hostesses, waitresses, he had lots of sex,
7 r. b' u) o# TWhen not in their pants, he was sendin' them texts.
- a W- [, [' ~Despite all his cryin’ and beggin' and pleadin',0 D P! N& J$ M# D" v
Tiger’s wife went investin' -- a new home in Sweden .
7 E1 U) e5 o; D( e: w* E8 cAnd I heard her exclaim from her white Escalade,
, \( a9 H' C a- i! W2 R5 S7 z! t"If you’re gettin' laid then I’m gettin' paid."
5 E$ R6 H( f2 D9 L/ w7 \* dShe’s not pouting, in fact, she is of jolly good cheer,* p1 s# ^ {! F* {; R6 P. ^) I
Her prenup made Christmas come early this year. |
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