ZT: Important New Rules for Driving in Edmonton

wgdf2008

THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:

8 n3 P# M! O. p* m& J: |8 o, y$ I1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.

6 _2 Y- o, m. U- K, d) R! V# O  D2 V2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush
# d1 w0 t3 d$ f/ O) C  l, T8 _hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
morning.
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3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
landing at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.

8 k3 q1 D1 I% e: N2 I" Q: I; Y4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
9 k/ d# B8 P, b' ^! O( vmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
6 ]& m. F, w! K/ C1 S9 m2 d0 \go second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
4 L0 ]8 F- k7 d: }& z& Hphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
cussed out, and possibly shot.

6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
get you shot.
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7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that
has  turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
the intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first
# [1 d2 ]) H; a9 j8 e' M6 G6 U$ dvehicle through the intersection.
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8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour
- j0 k% }$ q: w* q3 |0 ]barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
; w6 g# d  H7 G6 z& P' I. X+ Hday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
more construction starts everyday.
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9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
8 E+ \, c$ B  N1 N* F# `5 Ydeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
* z$ ^. q+ T; q$ ^8 t4 }squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.

10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
road. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye
0 _! ?4 W/ W; ZRoad  are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and
66 Street are also the same road; got it?

11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally
Activated.'
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12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
3 q: j4 |! r1 C9 f$ F; z! t4 d5 fyou are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
7 k% ]1 K8 `, x/ i5 Aaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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6 C" k) e* f7 v$ }7 W13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
) U( ~- s9 f# i# w( G# K7 t* Flined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
% A( `) V3 k$ Vblankets in the vehicle.

pigyear

Funny but true in Edmonton. Where did you get this stuff?

scuba1995

靠，还真对

KochFord

刚以为真的呢，乐了半天“The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph”
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后来发现是搞笑

irish

真是那么回事儿．我在左转的时候，经常被后车按喇叭．黄灯的时候，有直行车开过来，我怎么知道他停不停？一般我都等直行车停了，再走，所以经常被按喇叭．原来还生气，后来都耐受了，随便按吧．

数数马

5# irish
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it happens a lot

奥运会指定马甲

以前我在edmonton的时候也这么想，可是搬到ontario以后才发现爱城的只能算小儿科。

荠荠菜

厚脸皮，厚脸皮。